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I did get a one-a-day calender of The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said, though. And lots of shiny chocolate. And a laptop, so I can write in places other than my bedroom and still be able to read it later! (I love my parents.)

There's always ren faires.

My youngest sister and I got a t-shirt that says "Your Intelligence is Stupid". It is quite common to think that of the Sues you meet.

Since WikiMaster was sick of Retconitis (apparently, his author found out he was 'over the top' and tried to delete him), the Keeper of Fanfics, a DIY Chaos Daemon created as an emissary to the PPC was sent to the Christmas party in his stead. Savoring the food and drink laid out before him, he was having a very good time until he saw the Space Marine.

Not ready for a fight, he spread printed copies of Legendary Goodfic in a circle around himself, and begean negotiations with the Ironic Overpower to keep himself from being noticed.

He blinked and shook his head, then, as if remembering something, pulled out a little bottle of Bleeprin and took a few tablets. After a few moments, he visibly improved, and smiled. "There. At least something works properly. Where were we?"

"Well, if you tried to hold her back, you shouldn't get in trouble at least... And the PPC is so short staffed that they probably won't get in too much trouble either, but still." It took a moment for her fake whistle to register with the Agent but when it did she smacked her forehead and muttered about too much CLAMP. "Anyway, I wouldn't worry about things too much. They have their ways of working out on their own." She raised and eyebrow at Kelvin's appearance. "You don't look too great, wanna sit down somewhere?"

"Well, you see, the thing is..." He looked around, then leaned closer and lowered his voice. "I think the Flowers might know. The Console made a rather loud noise just after we left to come here, and I don't know if the other two heard it and just ignored it, or if they didn;t hear it. It sounded rather angry."

He straightened back up and flipped his hair back over his shoulder. "And I really do not want to describe what she did." He looked rather ill, which was saying something, given his natural constitution.

"Wow. You tried to hold her back? What'd she end up doing to the 'Sue?" On one hand, it could be something really terrible that would even scare her. On the other hand, it could be that due to Kelvin's rookie-ness, he was disgusted by something completely normal for the PPC. "If she did anything too bad, she would have gotten in trouble with the Flowers That Be, right?"

"Oh, yes. I don't know about settling in well, mind you, but it's been a very... typical.. introduction to the PPC, I've been told. Nat said I wasn't likely to see a mission quite so bad unless I got a Legendary Badfic. I think she was exaggerating a bit, though. I've heard about those, they do seem quite awful." He stopped, then grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry, I didn't answer your question. The mission was, well, pretty unpleasant. Cassie was unimpressed, to say the least." He revealed a bruise on his arm and several fingernail marks. "Well, when I say unimpressed..." He shuddered and looked slightly sickened. "And I swear to Eru, I never want to see what she did to that Sue done to a living being again."

"So, you settling in well?" Kumori asked him, trying to make small talk. "You had a mission earlier right?" Quite honestly, small talk was not Kumori's strong suit. She remembered having the mission in question described to her by Kelvin and Nat when she first entered the party but she couldn't think of anything else to talk about.

...Yeah, though, you've got a point. Not much use teasing someone who doesn't even understand until the last moment. That sounds interesting, though, I'll drop by if I get the chance."

It wasn't until he'd finished talking that he'd noticed his throat was oddly dry. His mouth was drying up, too; when had he gotten this thirsty? He could really use a drink, preferably without alcohol.

"Um, can you excuse me for a second? I just ought to get a drink, absolutely parched. I'll be right back, either of you want anything?"

Once they had both answered him, Marcus headed off through the crowd to the drinks area.

Kelvin was trying to work out what they meant. "Teasing?"

Suddenly it hit him, and his face turned as red as Cassie's had been earlier. "Oh, no... you didn't seriously mean that..."

"He doesn't even get it, there's no point in teasing him." She took another sip of her drink. "And I doubt we'll run into each other, I meant it when I said I don't get out much. Feel free to drop by though, Georgia loves guests." Plus, the large concentration of plants tended to put people off visiting RC #3782 for some odd reason. Apparently she was unique in finding quiet plants a welcome respite.

...the 10's." Marcus said, noting the number Kumori said for her RC. Slightly frustrated by Kelvin's obliviousness, Marcus wasn't really bothering with the innuendo any longer. "Makes sense, I'd guess. That RC's nowhere near mine. Still, maybe we'll run into each other in the halls sometime if you ever leave it for a bit, heh."

Shrugging after he said this, Marcus addressed Kelvin. "Yeah, bet that was a hell of a shock for you, huh? Then again, I suppose that's what happens when you mix a drunk girl, an Elf, and some mistletoe."

He'd lied to himself, he couldn't really resist teasing the Elf a couple more times.

"Yes, I'm having fun. Or I was, until people started asking me if I was having fun, which I think is a bit odd. I mean, I'd assume it'd be obvious if I wasn't enjoying myself." He frowned slightly, totally oblivious to any innuendos they were making. After a moment he turned to Kumori. "And yes, we do have mistletoe in Middle-earth. We've just never used it for things like... kissing under." He turned pinker.

"Marcus Langston... Sounds a little familiar... But I don't think we've met either. I don't leave the RC much, apart from missions." Kumori shrugged. She vaguely remembered Georgia nattering on about a trial and a suspension a year ago but couldn't remember neough to comment on it. Oh, well. "I'm in number 3782, right next to Nat in number 10."

The Ex-Sue couldn't help but smirk at Kelvin and his obvious discomfort. "But this wasn't the kind of fun you were expecting though, huh, Kelvin? I didn't think they had mistletoe in Middle Earth."

Y'know, there's a gazebo right there. All we have to do is swap it out for the carnivorous one...

75% of the clothes I got were black.
Also a bed warmer. Which immediately made me think 'Great, now the Narrative Laws of Comedy are going to have even more reason to drag me out of bed.'

I like the loon thing. Very nice.

...of Kumori's name. However, he had enough tact to follow her request and not bring it up, as much as he was tempted to make a snarky comment. He found himself half-wondering what had possessed her parents to give her such an odd name, but no matter. He couldn't leave her hanging after requesting his name.

"Marcus Langston, also Department of Floaters. Odd, I don't think we've met before but I've been an agent for a long time. Ah well, Response Centre's 5593, it's a bit out of the way, that's probably why. Still, pleasure you meet you, Kumori, just hope next time it's not by literally running into you." Marcus smirked a little at the Elf after saying this, "Yeah, I bet you're having fun, eh?"

A wink and a quick nudge of the elbow were given to Kelvin, Marcus unable to resist teasing him a little. All in good fun, of course.

My name is Tasari/Glass/Tatharien and I read manga. I am a yaoi fan. I have an extensive collection of manga scans featuring males getting friendly and/or naked. My least favorite of these follow the seme/uke polarization trend very strongly. There are quite a few mangaka (and hence fanwriters, poorly informed about gay male relationships) that do this. This is a form of fetishization and no more accurate to most people's lives and experiences than most other fetishes are to everyday life. It is, however, a strong stereotype, though articulated differently in different regions. Unfortunately, one of the warning signs of poor writing is lack of research...

He felt a little annoyed at being discussed as if he wasn't there, but decided to let it go- they were more experienced, after all, and he certainly wasn't an authority on the way the PPC worked.

"I've been having... fun, yes," he replied, turning a little pink.

Kumori muttered dryly, reflecting on the fact that her and Kelvin's situations weren't that different. "Nat and Cassie just recruited him apparently, Georgia told me all about it. You having fun, Kelvin?" She grinned suddenly. "Suprise kisses aside?" Kumori suddenly realised that she hadn't introduced herself to the stranger yet. "By the way, I'm Kumori Tenki, Department of Floaters. Don't comment on the name if you understand Japanese, don't ask if you don't. You are?"

"Yeah, I should have, I just looked away for a second and there you were."

It would apparently be left at that, as Kumori's glare softened and she greeted Kelvin. Kelvin made his own reply, telling Kumori about how he had met Marcus and was learning things about the PPC, and at that time Marcus noticed that Georgia had apparently left. Having assumed that Kumori probably noticed it already, Marcus thought he'd wait a second to say anything.

"Yeah, he's a bit of a rookie it seems, though I dunno how many missions he's had. Was just telling him about how HQ isn't as bad a place as everyone says."

He gestured towards the man he'd just been following. "I met Marcus, and he's been telling me a few things about the PPC that I didn't know."

He glanced at Georgia, who was rapidly vanishing into the crowd, but decided not to mention anything, and waited to see if he should stay with Kumori, or Marcus, or leave the area quickly.