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And I saw someone else mention it worked for them as well. Hopefully it was only down temporarily? Go ahead and try again.

—doctorlit, keeping folks together

1. HG, that sounds painful. If you're not fully recovered yet, I wish you a speedy, easy, and full recovery. (Also, I think I can safely speak for the Board when I say we're glad you're back.)
   
   2. My version of Word does that too! Odds are it's in every version, though who knows.
   
   3. “Bleeprin kid. It ain’t my first rodeo.” Spensor gladly accepted Phil’s gift and began chugging. “Woah, save some for later.”
   
   More for SillyPhilly than HG, but unless I'm missing something from the context and Spensor or Phil could be termed a "Bleeprin kid" (which admittedly sounds interesting, if concerning), there should be a comma between "Bleeprin" and "kid".
   
   4. Re: "dune buggying", there should be a hyphen if we're going American and probably no hyphen if we're not.
   
   5. "I ever tell you about my friend Erector?"
   
   That's a common speech pattern in certain parts of North America (it just drops the "did" at the beginning, and trusts intonation to take care of the rest. Interestingly, Hebrew does a similar thing, though I think it's a lot more common than this is. Certainly, we were outright told to use it in a language course that put a lot of emphasis on speaking well and correctly--I think the other version just went out of style at some point).
   
   6. "They both wretch at the term..."
   'Should be "wretched" (past tense).'
   
   *retched. Wretch and wretched are a noun and an adjective, not verbs (a pair of synonyms would be "miserable person" and "miserable").
   
   
   And that's what I've got! In a perhaps weird order, I've read the comments before the mission (which is admittedly not in a canon I'm familiar with), so I'm afraid I haven't much else to say.
   
   Beyond, of course: SillyPhilly, don't get discouraged by the amount of technical concrit--the comments on the mission itself seem to be pretty favorable overall, and that's equally important. Just add another beta or two for SPaG next time (and allow time and patience for thorough editing), and you'll be on the right track :)
   
   ~Z

"Although," said Thoth, "You are generally more open. So I had more to reveal to begin with."

The discord link on the PPC Wiki doesn't seem to be working?

1. I'm thinking that Creepypasta is a universe where supernatural powers are a thing, even if you only count the famous "canon" characters. So okay then.
   
   2. Okay. So maybe cutting off the reader Stu's head symbolically (because he cuts the heads off of all the DJs at the parties he attacks) wouldn't work. Good to know.
   
   -Twistey

I remember Xiaolin Showdown! That particular fandom has been untapped here. Sadly I will not have time to Beta this but I hope it all works out for you.

For this one I'm doing something a little different, with all three of the agents involved in the same room. That way I can keep track of the questions a little easier! For reference, and in seating order from left to right, S: Sarah, L: Lapis, C: Cupid.

******

1. Ahh yes! Welcome to the interview! Please introduce yourself: name, species, continuum of origin?
S: "Sarah Katherine Squall, Super (yes, we were implied to be a derived species of human in my homefic), The Incredibles... albeit as the main setting for an equal parts nightmarish and cringe-worthy thirty-plus-chapter monster of a badfic involving at least a dozen different continua. Please don't ask.
L: "Lapis Armenus Lazuli, human, Pokémon anime. Sort of. It was an incomplete fic involving a few other things..."
C: "Cupid Carmine, Impetus miserabilis-turned-drunken-angel-in-a-pink-toga, Kid Icarus."

2. So, what department are you in, and who is your partner?
S: "Pfff, are you kidding? We're all a team here!"
*The other two nod in agreement.*

3. Let’s start with the basic questions. How old are you?
S: "I was recruited at sixteen, so twenty-one as of now."
C: "Biologically, unable to progress past thirteen, sadly. Chronologically, though, would you believe I'm actually 48 years old? Needless to say, this has caused a lot of problems when it comes to dating-"
S: "AMONG OTHER REASONS."
L: "Before these two get into one of those cartoonish balls of violence with me in the middle, can I just say that I'm sixteen now and move on?"

4. Height and weight?
S: "5'5" now, and 130 pounds in weight."
L: "5'3", 110 pounds."
C: "5'3", 90 pounds. Hollow bones, baby!"

5. Sexual orientation?
S: "Straight."
L: "Aro-ace. Funnily enough, my author did consider hooking me up with one of his OCs back when I was a badfic character, "
C: "Bisexual, though with a preference for women. And I swear to Lady Palutena, if you imply that I've become straight thanks to my relationship with Stephanie..."

6. IQ?
S: "Uh, what now?"
L: "They didn't have IQs back in the fanmade region I grew up in last I checked..."
C: "What's an 'aye-kyoo'?"

7. Bra size? / Boxers or briefs?
*All three of them exchange confused glances, burst out laughing, and simultaneously shout "NEXT!"*

8. Let’s cut the boring questions. Firstly, how many weapons are currently on your person?
S: "Just the one: a two-handed sword with ice powers, ganked from an Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic by its original owner and given to me during the 2015 New Year's Gift Exchange."
L: "My double-headed axe-trident, Amphitrite. A relic from my homefic that I still use every once in a while."
C: "My three current weapons from the Kid Icarus continuum: the Angel Bow, the Eyetrack Orbitars, and the Ninja Palm."

9. Are you wanted for any crimes?
S: "About the only one who can say yes would be Cupid, and that's for being a Sue-wraith. We fixed that right away, though."
C: "Yeah, if anything, the worst trouble I'll get into nowadays is for swiping Bleeport from Rudi's."
L: "...I don't think I've committed any crimes per se, but then again I've worried so much that people will regard me as a Sue and want me gone... Not healthy, I know, but still."

10. And the age-old ‘Are you a virgin?’
*The girls nod with less than amused expressions.*
C: "Well, you know how Steph and I are... so..."
S: "Let's just move on."

11. Do you ever fantasize about same-sex relations?
*The girls immediately start getting upset looks. Cupid, meanwhile, folds his wings over his face to hide his blush.*

12. Lovely. So, what is your favorite curse word?
S: "Weeeeeeellllll... It'd probably be-" *long string of angry-sounding parrot squawking*
C: "No way! Well, I prefer to curse in Greek, since according to my homefic I was taught that as a mortal. It's a lot of elaborate-sounding fun, though I do lapse into English cursing too at times!"
L: "And I've got 'Legendaries', taking Arceus' name in vain, and I might know a few Armenian swear-words as well."

13. When was the last time you threw up?
S: "I get nasty vertigo whenever I get put through a drastic time and space transition, like a scene shift. I think one of our previous missions had one of those, so I'll probably just put that as the answer."
C: "And then there's all those times I got way too drunk... I think that one time when I tried genuine alcohol kinda counts. Not fun."
L: "...let's just move on. Please."

14. Have any mental illnesses?
*They all look at each other.*
All three at once: "PTSD."

15. What is your biggest phobia?
S: "...don't tell anyone this, but... planes. If you know my canon basis it should be kinda obvious why..."
C: "For similar reasons, fire. And bad things happening to Lady Palutena, or Stephanie..."
L: "...I'm scared of the dark... I know it sounds so stereotypical, but I sleep with a Lanturn-shaped night light on every night..."

16. Do you crossdress often?
*The girls shake their heads in denial.*
L: "Well, there was this one time when I got Cupid to wear a dress..."
C: "I thought. I told you. Not. To speak. Of that. Again."
S: "But technically it was through the use of a D.O.R.K.S. and not a-"
C: "NEVER. AGAIN."

17. Have any addictions?
C: "Bleeport. Definitely Bleeport."
L: "Of course it'd be you to answer that right away, Angel Face..."
S: "Yeah, well, he'd be the ONLY one with a straight answer, not gonna lie. 'Cuz we're pretty clean ourselves, for obvious reasons."
*Lapis nods, and Cupid's face feels rather warm.*

18. What is the closest you have ever been to dying? Or have you ever died?
S: "April 23, 1957. That... That's all I'm gonna say."
C: "I'm pretty sure I'm already in the afterlife..."
L: "I actually did die as well once, in a sense. I was disguised as a Steven Universe gem about three years ago, and there was this gem-ified replacement of a canon who got me with a volley of icicles. It took me two hours to regenerate, but as it was a dark period of my life back then, the effect was much more far-reaching than just a new hairstyle... I'm afraid I wouldn't even be here today if that hadn't happened, for reasons I... I'd rather not to talk about... *sniff*..."
*The other two stare at Lapis with horrified expressions, and then hug her very tightly.*

19. Have the FicPsych nurses ever taken you away?
*The three of them instantly burst up into frantic shouts of denial.*
C: "Next question, PLEASE! Don't give them any ideas!"

20. Are the FicPsych nurses after you?
*The three of them shake their heads.*
L: "We've already been to FicPsych for consultation, multiple times, at some point in each of our lives. The rest, well... We'd rather not discuss it."

21. Do you snore?
S: "Well, I can't say anything about Pi, but Cupid does. Rather loudly. I have to wear earplugs to bed every night just to get some shut-eye..."
*Cupid kicks her in the shin. She only feels a gentle nudge from the rather hard impact, and decides it was worth it.*

22. Are you drooling right now?
*The three of them shrug and mutter a collective negative. The girls either don't notice or consciously ignore Cupid surreptitiously wiping a tiny droplet of spittle from the corner of his mouth...*

23. Let’s say that HQ was about to explode, and you could save one other person in here. Who would you choose?
S: "Falchion, hands down. He's my brother, after all, who did you think I was gonna pick?"
C: "Definitely my girlfriend, Stephanie Podd. She's just too precious not to save, "
L: "I... I can't really answer that question with as much certainty as the others, since there are a few choices to pick. I would've gone with a certain someone, but I lost him a while ago, and his boyfriend... well, he has his own partner to deal with. I also feel a lot of kinship with Falchion because he and I were created by the same person, and I knew one of his past lives as well. But then there's his other partner-"
S: "Who's friends with me. I'm sure in due course you'll get to know her well enough to be friends with her, too!"
L: "Uh..."

24. When was the last time you used the toilet?
*All three of them give the interviewer a simultaneous triple death glare.*

25. Have you ever kissed a girl? / a boy? / another species??
S: "I have a boyfriend back in my home continuum, Wendell Zuckerman. We're in a long-distance relationship right now, but I do visit him every once in a while."
C: "For girl and other species, Steph definitely counts!"
L: "I don't do love, for multiple reasons. Never have, never will."

26. Did you like it?
*Sarah and Cupid both nod eagerly, but Lapis huffs in disdain.*

27. The little voices in your head. Do you talk to them?
C: "I kinda miss Lady Palutena being in my head, to be honest..."
*The girls look at him with startled expressions.*
S: "Well, to be fair, he used to be a Sue-wraith, so maybe his voice ended up being in Pit's head?"
L: "...I think my brain just broke trying to process that."

28. Were you made fun of in school? Why?
S: "I... I don't think so. I was actually pretty popular, especially since I had a zoo volunteer job before... before what happened."
C: "I kinda doubt I went to school myself. Used to work on my mortal family's farm before my own demise..."
L: "And I went on my journey as a trainer starting from the age of ten. So I'm naturally excluded."

29. I can’t think of a question to ask you. Have any comments?
S: "Probably not. This was kinda fun, actually, at least half the time."
C: "I agree. Well, I had fun the ENTIRE time, really."
L: "I didn't. That is all."

30. This interview has ended? Are you gleeful? Or would you like to complete our 100 question survey over thumbtacks?
S: "Eh."
C: "Can I have a shot of Bleeport now?"
L: "NO!"

Nothing serious, but it does have a few mentions of rape and other nasty things, like body horror.

Good thing first: I really liked this mission, although I’m not acquainted with the Transformers franchise. You are a good story-teller, but you need to pay more attention on reading what you wrote, or specifically ask for a beta reader who is good at the proof-reading part of beta reading (unfortunately, Skarmory isn’t, while I’m not good at the concrit and positive feed-back part of it). I’m sorry that I couldn’t respond to your beta request; I was in a hospital at the time, with my writing arm heavily bandaged.

Now the bad: If comments point out mistakes that escaped your beta reader(s), you are supposed to correct them (letting it stand as it is while we complain about bad SPaG in badfic would be hypocritical). Since you didn’t do this yet, and I don’t read the comments before I read the story, I was forced to take lots of notes that already had been taken, mostly by doctorlit. So here is what I got on first glance that has not already been reported to you:

The man got up and stretched a bit, scanning the room until his eyes fell upon a rather thick book next to the closed-door.
I don’t think that "closed door" needs a hyphen (what doctorlit calls a short dash), but apparently doctorlit doesn’t agree with me, or he missed this one.

Grant this boy, my son,/may be like me, first in glory among the Troj-.
This may be a minor issue, but if you want to be really good at SPaG, you should know that a mid-word-interruption is marked by an m-dash (like this: "—") rather than a hyphen. Unfortunately, you won’t find it on your keyboard, but you can find it in the GDoc menu (choose something like "insert" – "special character" – "punctuation" (left combobox) and "dashes" (right combobox); note that I don’t know the exact titles you will see because Google talks German to me).

It’s a short one but-wait do I smell spray paint?
Seeing a hyphen trying to separate words rather than connecting them is much more disconcerting than seeing a hyphen for a mid-word-interruption, so this should definitely be a dash. Doctorlit’s long dash would be the abovementioned m-dash again, but doctorlit is American. Since spellings like "colour" or "internalise" imply that you are writing British English, an interruption between words is actually different from an interruption mid-word and should use an n-dash – slightly shorter than the m-dash and surrounded by spaces – like I did here. (You can find the n-dash in the GDoc menu, too. Also, you may experiment with two consecutive hyphens to see whether and to which type of dash they may be transformed. Actually, my German installation of MS Word transforms a single hyphen to an n-dash when it is surrounded by spaces.)


doctorlit already noted the confusing paragraph structure that looks like Spensor finished is meant to be a dialogue tag attached to "How’s that concerning?". Since I guess that actually Phil speaks there, you may try something like:
While Spensor was speaking, Phil began gathering things for the mission. "How’s that concerning?" he asked.

Spensor finished, the readouts on his visor disappearing as he turned to his partner.
But then I’m not sure whether "Spensor finished" would need a callback to the action Spensor finished. Maybe you could just drop it and write something like The readouts on Spensor’s visor disappeared as he turned to his partner to lead into what Spensor said next.


Luckily we’re I’m going I don’t need feet!
You probably meant "where".

Why-oof!
This should be "Why – oof! " (British) or "Why—oof! " (American).

... he stammered as Phil handed him a bottle as he wrote down a charge for introducing ridiculous mythos.
We mock this kind of As Disease in badfic. It appears that Phil would need three arms to simultaneously hand a bottle to Spensor, hold a notebook, and type on the notebook’s keyboard or hold a pen to write into a notebook of the other kind. If Spensor is meant to be he-who-wrote-down-a-charge, we got a case of pronoun confusion, because "he" usually refers to the last male person mentioned; and I don’t believe that you meant this anyway. Replacing "as he" by "and then" would work much better here.

“Bleeprin kid. It ain’t my first rodeo.” Spensor gladly accepted Phil’s gift and began chugging. “Woah, save some for later.”
I’m confused about who is saying what here. Actually, I guess this should be three paragraphs, implying the shift of focus from Phil speaking to Spensor acting to Phil speaking again.

Phil paused and took a minute to internalise what she just witnessed, his suspicions confirmed.
Is Phil suddenly female? Also, Phil witnessing the events should have happened in past perfect, before he took a minute to internalize it. I’m not sure whether the correct word order would be "just had witnessed" or "had just witnessed".

He should have just come here himself and saved the bot some sanity…
This sounds to me as if Phil hadn’t come there at all and had just sent Spensor. "by himself" might work, but why not just write "alone"?

Unfortunately the were clipped by the POV change.
You probably meant "they".

Welp I’m at a loss. Maybe your fresh eyes-
Either "eyes—" (American) or "eyes –" (British; since it’s not mid-word, there’s a space and an n-dash, but not another space before the quotation mark).

Spensor thought for a bit, then gingerly took the the notebook from Phil and scrawled something down in it.
Repetition.

The the sue woke up.
Repetition again.

Spensor quickly transformed into the control panel form he scanned earlier ...
Should be "had scanned" (past perfect).

...or some kind nebulous generic area.
Missing word "of", but since this is in dialogue, it might pass as being Spensor’s fault intentionally written by you, if he hadn’t been talking quite accurate until now.

If all they plan on doing is going for a drive they’ll think nothing of a random dude dune buggying in the desert.
I think this should be "dune-buggying", but I’m not sure here. (For a moment, I wondered about a random dude-dune – as opposed to a gal-dune – buggying in the dessert, but that may really just be me.)

The sue’s replacement OCs all began talking about Lucifer their family’s relationship with him and the war in heaven.
You need a comma after "Lucifer".

“I don’t get it.” came his cybernetic friend.
If "came his cybernetic friend" is meant to be a dialogue tag, the period after "it" should be a comma. But it doesn’t actually work as a dialogue tag, and it can’t stand alone as a complete sentence, so I don’t have any idea what you are trying to do here.

With a reserved sigh he and his partner go to the next scene.
Should be "went" (past tense). The badfic’s present tense affecting the agents is not unheard of, but if this is what happens here and in other instances where your narration suddenly switches to present tense, it should be lampshaded in some way.

With renewed vigor they enter partway through the following chapter.
Should be "entered" (past tense).

Decepticons Starscream and Knockout introduce a human to their leader.
Should be "introduced" (past tense).

They read on as Jim informs Megatron about the current angel situation and mentions the names of Paige’s parents.
Should be "informed" (past tense) and "mentioned" (past tense).

I ever tell you about my friend Erector?
I think this should be "I ever told you" (past tense) or more grammatically correct “Did I ever tell you”, but then that may just be like Spensor talks?

They arrive at a generic beach. Oddly all of the Autobots are using holograms.
Should be "arrived" (past tense) and "were" (past tense).

Like one of those high end Japanese figu-hey wait!
Another instance where you need an m-dash for mid-word-interruption: "figu— hey wait!" (I’m not sure whether British English inserts a space after the m-dash, but it certainly looks better to me.)

Phil goes back to the Words.
Should be "went" (past tense).

The pair watch on as the Sue’s family reenacted a scene from Spongebob and Paige gets reunited with her girlfriend.
Should be "watched" (past tense) and "got reunited" or just "was reunited" (past tense).

They both wretch at the term...
Should be "wretched" (past tense).

By the power vested in the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, you, Pai-Spensor wait!
This is another instance where you need the m-dash for mid-word-interruption.

Hot plasma ripped through the Angel Sue as her lifeless, burned corpse floated to the ground, her non-canonical family disintegrating along with her as her influence slowly disappeared.
There may be other instances of As Disease I didn’t take note of, but here it sticks out to me. Since "as" implies simultaneousness, it appears as if the Sue was already dead when hot plasma ripped through her lifeless corpse, so what did actually kill her? Using "and" instead would work much better. The second "as" is okay, though.

HG

I'm looking for someone to beta my Permission request, with the two writing samples and all. You can access it here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1avB9y94ULTFtAGyZcBgNcOaW8Umzmczw-StakmGMolw/

Like, I'm hyped for the Galar region, but the grass starter, in my opinion looks weird. Also I can't afford a nintendo switch...

I love the bits with the horrible statue, and I love the concept itself - I adore eldritch and cursed places in fiction, so this was a great read. In the beginning I kind of squinted a little because I wasn't sure where it was going, but the ending got me. The style seems to waver a little, I kind of felt that words like "awesomeness" didn't really belong here, but I could see why you would juxtapose light-hearted scenes with what comes later. Anyway, it's really good writing!

Derik looked up again with a teasing glint in his eye. "And, what do you say: Did I surpass you at not letting slip any hints of fascinating things you didn't already know about me?"

"It is not easy to pretend ignorance," Thoth said, attempting to ease his student. "Given the individual you dealt with, I believe you performed admirably well."

"I know, I know," Derik grumbled. "I didn't mean to say anything, but toward the end it just slipped out. I could almost understand up until that point, you see, but..." He shook his head. "Well, I've yet to earn a Gather stamp for this instrument, clearly."*

---

* Translation from the idiomatic Pernese: This apprentice is sorry if he embarrassed his master with that mediocre display and he understands if Thoth doesn't want to let him out in public again until he shapes up. {= )

The names and look are leaving me less thrilled. But I'll see what comes. Scorbunny has potential though. But I would hope for not another Fire/Fighting. That's been done too much.

1. It would depend on the universe. One of my agents is a Pokémon, for example, but since he's got to fit the world he goes into missions for, he doesn't normally get to keep his powers. When he does, it's for a continuum where someone flinging around electricity wouldn't be unheard of.
   
   2. You kill it like a regular Sue, though DoSAT requests the agents keep the dummy as intact as possible (no throwing the thing into a pit of lava, for example). Once the Sue's been killed, the dummy reverts back to its normal state, though it'll probably have a few more stab wounds than it started with.