The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

I'll be eagerly going through all of this, the page you linked is already a funny one.

The Roundabout link on this page does not work anymore.

1. Snowblaze, human, World One.
   2. Floaters, Norwen Feanoriel. Why, why, why?
   3. I'm a teenager. Assuming I haven't been aged up by plothole.
   4. Tall but light. Can never remember exactly.
   5. Unknown so far.
   6. *shrugs* Definitely fairly high, but I don't know exactly.
   7. Something B?
   8. Zero.
   9. No.
   10. Yes.
   11. No.
   12. I don't curse.
   13. Last really awful mission, I think.
   14. No.
   15. I really don't like snakes.
   16. No.
   17. No.
   18. I've never really come that close. Yet. Except That Incident when Norwen went flamethrower-crazy.
   19. No.
   20. No.
   21. Very occasionally.
   22. No.
   23. I don't know... I'd like to say Norwen but she'd be the cause of the explosion and there's no-one else I know that well.
   24. ...About an hour ago, not that that's at all relevant.
   25. No.
   26. See previous question.
   27. I don't have little voices in my head.
   28. I'm home-educated, so know.
   29. No.
   30. I am gleeful.
   
   
   ...I'm really not the most exciting person, am I?
   

"...To have had such an influence upon you, brother," said Thoth. "Although a future note to prudence: People rarely wish to know that which your gift informs you about them. This, I have learned the hard way."

He scanned the paper further. "I do not believe I have directly met the man you interviewed with. However, I may have seen him in the Cafeteria at some point. If he is the same man, I will say this: much as you stated, he is a terrible liar."

Yes, I do plan to write an uncanonical daughter of Feanor. May the Valar have mercy on my soul.

1. Norwen Feanoriel, Noldorin elf, Middle-earth.
   2. Floaters, Agent Snowblaze.
   3. I don't really know. I'd guess about seven hundred?
   4. Unknown. I have better things to do than monitor my weight.
   5. No comment.
   6. What even is an IQ? *Interviewer explains* Oh, right. If my dad's anything to go by, very high.
   7. Not telling. And definitely no peeking.
   8. *counts on fingers* About four, not counting the flamethrower.
   9. Well, someone did get angry about That One Incident shortly after I arrived in the PPC, but that's no big deal. I only burnt two or three RCs.
   10. My backstory isn't clear enough to know, but considering where I spent four hundred years I hope so.
   11. No comment.
   12. Something in Quenya which is so rude I won't say it in any language.
   13. No comment. Haven't since I joined the PPC and beyond that see question 10.
   14. We elves are not familiar with the concept of mental illnesses.
   15. Evil!Sues. And getting a mission into Silmarillion
   16. Fairly. I mostly used to share clothes with my brothers.
   17. Do Silmarils count?
   18. I haven't died. I've been close to dying a lot of times, but one that comes to mind is being shot in the stomach by PPC agents.
   19. ...maybe?
   20. No.
   21. No.
   22. No.
   23. I suppose I should say Agent Snowblaze as she's my partner, but to be perfectly honest I'd probably be the cause of the explosion.
   24. Is that really relevant?
   25. See question ten.
   26. See question ten.
   27. Sometimes. I mostly ignore them as they never say anything which is actually useful.
   28. Elves do not have schools. But no-one would dare make fun of me.
   29. I might have to use some of those hidden weapons if you invade my privacy any more.
   30. I am not unhappy about it.

I'm working on my Permission attempt, and have completed the "find a badfic you want to spork (so you can start your first mission right after you get Permission)" step. I found this Creepypasta badfic that's a blantant wish fulfillment/murder fantasy, and includes Slender's Mansion (a mistake common enough to be considered fanon, but still wrong) which is why I relegated it to my DOGA agents-to-be, Amber and Miriam. Currently I'm in the process of reading through it and assessing how I would spork it. But I ran into some questions.

1. So, as a few of you know, Amber and Miriam have supernatural powers. Would they be able to use these to take out the reader Stu? By this I mean: would they be able to use them on any mission no matter what, or would it depend on the universe, and if it does, would Creepypasta count as a universe where they are allowed to do this?

2. Speaking of the reader Stu, I'm still a bit confused as to how one takes out a Sue-possessed Crash Dummy. Do you kill it like a regular Sue, or is it more like a possession that requires an exorcism?

Hope to get these clarified soon. Thanks,

-Twistey

http://www.history.ucsb.edu/faculty/marcuse/classes/bloopers.htm

The Obligatory Content Warning That's Only Obligatory Because I'm Twistey: Even before the WWII point is reached, the person who compiled these makes a few (tasteful and well-played) Nazi jokes in response to some of the errors. Reader discretion is advised.

However, this also has links to places where you can find other "student bloopers" compilations, so if you do read this page, you'll be able to find more.

-Twistey

1. Ahh yes! Welcome to the interview! Please introduce yourself: name, species, continuum of origin?
Hieronymus Graubart, human, World One.

2. So, what department are you in, and who is your partner?
I’m in the Department of Mary Sues, Harry Potter Division. My partner is Androia Avatar.

3. Let’s start with the basic questions. How old are you?
Counting from my birth date, I should be sixty-five, but apparently I skipped some years since I arrived here. Anyway, I don’t feel that old..

4. Height and weight?
One hundred and seventy-five centimetres from sole to crest, which would be five feet nine inches for you non-metric people, and Androa isn’t taller than I am; she’s just cheating.

Oh, the weight? Some twenty pounds too much.

5. Sexual orientation?
As strait as my jacket.

6. IQ?
Don’t know, don’t care.

7. Bra size? / Boxers or briefs?
I don’t wear bras, and concerning my underwear, I don’t have any specific preferences.

8. Let’s cut the boring questions. Firstly, how many weapons are currently on your person?
None.

9. Are you wanted for any crimes?
I hope not.

10. And the age-old ‘Are you a virgin?’
Nope.

11. Do you ever fantasize about same-sex relations?
Nope.

12. Lovely. So, what is your favorite curse word?
Flying Featherduster.

13. When was the last time you threw up?
Probably on that one mission, when the Sue immobilized Androia and I had to grab the knife and got glitter all over me. But with the weird time flow, I’m not sure whether this even happened yet.

14. Have any mental illnesses?
None that I know of.

15. What is your biggest phobia?
Having to deliver a public address.

16. Do you crossdress often?
I don’t think that wearing robes counts.

17. Have any addictions?
Excuse me; I’ll be back in a minute.
...
(mumbling) damned hypertrophic prostate.
Next question, please.

18. What is the closest you have ever been to dying? Or have you ever died?
On the contrary. At last count, there were about five of me; I don’t know how we spawn everywhere.
[[OOC: Agent Hieronymus, Boarder Hieronymus, Baron Hieronymus the hermit, a student who is probably stuck at the Official Fanfiction Academy of Azeroth forever, and an alternate agent who allegedly writes real person fic about his partner Androiaavata and a self-insert Gary Stu. I’m aware that Agent Hieronymus shouldn’t know about the others, but occasionally slipping up in harmless ways is part of the fun in writing a self-insert.]]

19. Have the FicPsych nurses ever taken you away?
Nah, not the nurses; some DIA-agents dragged me to FicPsych after dragging me out of the archive.

20. Are the FicPsych nurses after you?
I don’t think so.

21. Do you snore?
My wife claimed that I do— NEXT QUESTION!

22. Are you drooling right now?
Definitely not!

23. Let’s say that HQ was about to explode, and you could save one other person in here. Who would you choose?
Androia Avatar.

24. When was the last time you used the toilet?
Seven questions ago.

25. Have you ever kissed a girl? / a boy? / another species??
More than one, no, and no.

26. Did you like it?
Mostly.

27. The little voices in your head. Do you talk to them?
What voices?

28. Were you made fun of in school? Why?
Since I don’t like to talk, and tend to grin when I’m nervous, people believed me to be arrogant, and they tried to make fun of that. But being called "professor" didn’t actually feel too derogatory.

29. I can’t think of a question to ask you. Have any comments?
I’ve already talked far too much.

30. This interview has ended? Are you gleeful? Or would you like to complete our 100 question survey over thumbtacks?
Gleeful doesn’t sound right, but I’m glad that it’s over, and no, thanks, bye.

HG

Apparently we skipped another year or two while we were on that last mission. But we are still in time, are we?

1. Ahh yes! Welcome to the interview! Please introduce yourself: name, species, continuum of origin?
Androia Avatar, night elf, World of Warcraft.

2. So, what department are you in, and who is your partner?
DMS, with Agent Hieronymus.

3. Let’s start with the basic questions. How old are you?
Huh, this is difficult. As far as I could determine, I must have been created in 2008, which would make me ten years old going on eleven. But most of the first seven years I spent dreaming the Emerald Dream, so I had only about three weeks of life experience when I joined the PPC, and with the weird time flow here, I got only some more weeks since then. But if I compare myself to other people, I look quite grown up. If there is an assumed age for newly created night elves, it may be best to go with that.

4. Height and weight?
Half an inch taller than Hieronymus, and I never knew my weight, and never cared.

5. Sexual orientation?
Apparently my creator did not bother to give me much of an agenda, so I am still trying to figure this out.

6. IQ?
What is an eye cue?

7. Bra size? / Boxers or briefs?
This is none of your business – I guess?

8. Let’s cut the boring questions. Firstly, how many weapons are currently on your person?
Just one knife. I would like to have my staff, but obviously it stayed back in the inn when I fell through that plot hole while sleeping.

9. Are you wanted for any crimes?
No.

10. And the age-old ‘Are you a virgin?’
Hey, I am ten years old! Or even less! Or maybe not?

11. Do you ever fantasize about same-sex relations?
Same-sex? Oh well, I met Luxury – but no.

12. Lovely. So, what is your favorite curse word?
Sectumsempra?

13. When was the last time you threw up?
I do not remember throwing up ever.

14. Have any mental illnesses?
Probably not.

15. What is your biggest phobia?
Being enslaved again.

16. Do you crossdress often?
If girls wearing leather trousers counts, I did this whenever I expected a hard fight that required the best armour I could get. Unfortunately, I lost all my luggage when I fell through that plot hole, so I am stuck with my gown now.

17. Have any addictions?
No.

18. What is the closest you have ever been to dying? Or have you ever died?
I died several times. Fortunately, this is not permanent in my home continuum.

19. Have the FicPsych nurses ever taken you away?
No.

20. Are the FicPsych nurses after you?
Why would they be?

21. Do you snore?
If I did, I would not be aware of it, and I do not know whom to ask.

22. Are you drooling right now?
Should I? Is this some custom I did not learn about yet?

23. Let’s say that HQ was about to explode, and you could save one other person in here. Who would you choose?
Agent Hieronymus.

24. When was the last time you used the toilet?
As far as I remember I never used a toilet.

25. Have you ever kissed a girl? / a boy? / another species??
Yes, no, and yes – it was a human girl.

26. Did you like it?
When Luxury kissed me, I did not really know what this was about and just kissed her back. But now I think this might have been inappropriate.
[[OOC: Luxury started to investigate Androia’s origin only after finding out that her knickers – still sticking to the game mechanics – aren’t removable, and she stopped any and all sexual activities as soon as she realized that Androia might be much younger than she looks like. Also, having to use the toilet for the first time in her life will probably be part of Androia’s development from a game character to a real person. HG]]

27. The little voices in your head. Do you talk to them?
Do you mean the commanding voice? I yelled at it all the time, but to no avail; I still had to follow orders. Thanks Elune it shut up since I arrived here.

28. Were you made fun of in school? Why?
Have you ever seen any schools in the World of Warcraft?

29. I can’t think of a question to ask you. Have any comments?
This was a weird experience.

30. This interview has ended? Are you gleeful? Or would you like to complete our 100 question survey over thumbtacks?
Has it? I will just leave then.

... Pokemon Go added a camera item in a recent update, which - unlike the main AR mode - doesn't rely on your phone having a gyroscope to orient itself. Which means I can finally - finally - experience the main selling point of the game, at least in basic form.



These are my new frens who I made yesterday. They live in my office now. ^_^

(And if aaaaanyone other than me is still playing PoGo, I'm always happy to make new human frens! My wossname code is 7975 9729 1435.)

hS

Derik had grinned through the additional details for the fish story. He'd needed that laugh, and hoped Thoth could tell the good it had done him.

Maybe that was why he'd continued with the other story. That was sobering, but Derik's complaints were more theatrical than genuine.

"Even thinking about that is enough to turn my stomach, thank you! Is this revenge for being too inquisitive? You could have just waited for my turn here" —he raised the paper— "though I'm not entirely sure they'll print it. The other man they lumped me in with cursed for a solid minute and more besides."

On the plus side, the link definitely works.

On the minus side, I feel about as enlightened as I would during the average blackout. =]

As relayed through by Amber, one of the few people that can actually hear the interviewee without specialized recording equipment.

1. "..."
"Hana Taiyo! She's an onr-"
"..."
"Yes, but that was before you died! She's an onryo! A spirit of vengeance! Isn't that cool? She's from Tok- wait, that's not what the Interviewer is asking, Hana."
"...?"
"The Universe you're from!"
"...?"
"Apparently there are infinite Universes!"
"..."
"Fine, let's go with that! She's from Tokyo, Japan, Earth!"

2. "..."
"Floaters, with me! She's my partner!"
"..."
"Yes, but I'm not going to die any time soon!"

3. "..."
"Born 1929, died 1945! So 16!"

4. "..."
"Come on, Hana. The Interviewer is asking nicely!"
"..."
"160cm, 53 kg! That's 5'2'' tall and 118 pounds! Quite tall for your age!"

5. "...?"
"The Interviewer is asking whether you like boys or girls!"
"..."
"She says she had a crush on one of her classmates, and she went to an all-girls school!"

6. "...?"
"How smart you are! More or less."
"..."
"She had the top grades of her class! Amazing!"

7. "...?"
"You wear them under the clothes you wear usually!"
"...?"
"No, it's not a sarashi. They... look, they look like this!" (Amber leans to show Hana her sports bra)
"..."
"No, I said it's not a sarashi! It's a sports bra! Just... just put her as an A cup!"

8. "..."
"She doesn't need any!"

9. "..."
"Nope!"

10. "...?"
"The Interviewer is asking if you ever had sexual relations!"
"..."
"She says no and you're quite rude for asking!"

11. "..."
"She didn't say anything!" (Hana turns away, as if embarrassed)

12. "..."
"You kiss your mother with that mouth, Hana?"

13. "..."
"Before her final exams! She doesn't think she's capable of doing that anymore!"

14. "..."
"Nope! She's a perfectly healthy spirit of vengeance! Just stay away from her house!"

15. "...?"
"An irrational fear!"
"..."
"She IS the fear! But she hates when people disrupt her house!"

16. "...?"
"Dressing as a male if you're female and viceversa!"
"..."
"She has never done that, and she doesn't think she can!"

17. "..."
"Nope!"

18. "..."
"Don't be rude, Hana!"
"..."
"Fine. She says 'it's obvious.' And quite frankly, it is!"

19. "..."
"Nope! She'd like to see them try!"

20. "..."
"Nope!"

21. "..."
"She doesn't even sleep!"

22. "..."
"Nope! She has no reason to!"

23. "..."
"Awww, not even me?"
"..."
"You'll grow to like me eventually!"

24. "..."
"A few years ago! Made someone that dared enter her house disappear while he was using it! We should try that with a Sue! As soon as we find out where they end up..."

25. "..."
"She died before she was able to, and doesn't think she can now!"

26. "..."
"Yeah, I answered the same!"

27. "..."
"Nope! She doesn't have any voices in her head! Lucky her..."
"...?"
"Yours, for one! But yours is by far the most pleasant!"
"..." (Hana turns away again)

28. "..."
"Nope! She was actually pretty popular!"

29. "...?"
"She asks what was the point of that question! And I agree!"

30. "..."
"SEVEN DAYS!"

... but animate baked goods are the textbook example of Gandalf's cooking.

hS

I have no idea if Photobucket links work

You just have a different perspective is all, and that's exactly why a discussion on the board is useful.

To explain why the situations aren't quite the same... Fire Emblem's mechanics are fairly standard throughout the entire series, only really changing with minor modifications or technical details. Even if you played, say, FE: 4, then skipped all the way to FE: 13, albeit changed the gameplay would still be recognizable.

And the last sentence of this one was just perfect.

Please give us a link to the one concerning German history.
I want to see where that one goes so badly...

"With a seasoning of salt and butter, and a light sprinkling of local spices." Thoth was uncertain how to handle his friend's laughter. He ignored it. "I believe it was someone else's dinner. As to how someone could be assaulted with such an insubstantial object... even then, I had some talents outside of my specialty. Thankfully, the boy was an incredibly weak telekine. I believe he may have eventually become one of the mortals of the Pavoni. Talented, or so I heard tell. However, he was always cursed with poor reflexes."

Thoth shrugged his shoulders. "As for the brains... we Astartes have the ability to absorb the memories of others by consuming their bodies. The Flesh Tearers, in particular, take advantage of this, reveling in particularly barbarous—and they dub us heretics uncouth. I never enjoyed the practice myself, but I was called upon at times to make use of it. Partaking of a brain is the most efficient and complete method of attaining knowledge. However, it invariably causes vomiting in any Astartes, and is one of the few things to do so." He paused. "I suppose that mjød, consumed in sufficient quantities, could do the same. However, I do not drink to excess."

I suppose you'd know best. =]

... You failed to think about whether or not you should.

Our Pokecomputers and gene sequencers break down the DNA strand in minutes, and Devon Corp Augmented Reality displays show our Poke Professors the gaps in the sequence. We used the complete DNA of a Kecleon--

--to fill in the holes--

--and complete the code.

Whew! And now... we can make a baby mosasaur.

[Cut to Sobble hatching sequence]

hS