The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

Good to know my effort is not totally wasted here. <3

--Lemony


(( I... actually can't tell if you're playing a character or just posting your real thoughts under a different name. ^_^; What's true and what isn't? And, which description of the eyes? Why was it funny?

(( And BTW, since I forgot to explain for anyone who doesn't know: Lemony Eggnog is a character, but they share many of my opinions for the sake of presenting fic that is a legitimate attempt on my part to write good slash that will simply never happen in canon due to one or two small barriers. The idea is that, if things were nudged just a little bit, this is what the ship would really be like. {= )

~Neshomeh ))

U gave me nightmares for lyfe u meanine!!!! LOL.

I'm glad ur not posessed by satan nemore tho. My BFF whos a hacker always tole me never 2 downlaod any X-files, and I guess thats' wy!

Fox Mulder is hawt tho, LOL!

XOXOX

(( Today I learned that Brandy does not know the difference between The X-Files and a .EXE file. {X D ))

Huinesoron would never write lines of gibberish in his emails (however you spell it). He is an Oldbie, and every word that comes from an Oldbie's fingertips is pure genius.

The rest of this sounds pretty legit though.

1. A text-to-speech program: https://www.naturalreaders.com/online/
   2. This music in the background: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5Y11zcF0LU
   
   Enjoy the fic. LONG LIVE HUNSERUM!!!

Wats up every1 its XXEPICJAKEdaTNThogEXEXX an im a kewl sonic minecraft youtuber. if u want 2 check my chanel out u can its da same as my bored user name but thats not the point of my post. teh point is, 2day im goin 2 tell u about the WORST day of my lief. that day was the day i played: da PPC VIDEO GAEM!!!! i had a giltched copy an it sacred the crap outta me!! now i kno wat ur thinkin. im not a coward. im not a scaredy cat. i play minecraft at 3am, i summon hero brine an all evil entites (enty 101 thru 909 look em up or u wont be prepared when they come try 2 kill u) an ive played sonic exe an all teh sonic crepypast games an all that. but the glitches i faced while playing the PPC game was scary on a whole new level. lemme tell u what i mean.

1 day i was on da discord an a user i hadnt seen before pmed me with a link. his username was n-ever forgot-n and abov da link he sayed 2 me “u may hav joind. u may have permision. but u arent a full ppc memeber yet. u must face baspatism by FIRE.” i replyd 2 him askin him “wat do u mean by dat” but he suddenly disapeard from the lists of users he wasnt even listed as offlien. so i clickd da link an it told me 2 download somethin. teh file was called “PPC Video Game.exe”. i thought 2 myself i liek sonic exe games but i havnt yet playd any w/ other storys b/c those 1s arnt usally all that gud when theyr scratch prpjectz theyr usualy abot a scratchers ocs an not an actul cannon so i dont under stand them an i think theyre boring. no 1 cares abot ur badly recolord sonic cannons an ur animu hair stick men u peace of poop. (i h8 recolorz) but if its ppc an if huniewsmoron mad it then may b its beter dan al da stoopid sonic exe remixs wit ocs on scratch. so i clicked on da file an downloded it 2 my computerator! Aw yeah! i closd discord an waited for it to finish downlodding really exited to begin.

wen i opend da ppc gaem, on teh tttle screen it sad “PPC da VIDEO GAEM - SATAN EDITION” an it had a hug red pentangram drawed in BLOOD. on da face of a caractr was a big red pentagram an there eyes wer gon an drippin with blood. i was relly scared an kinda ecited bcause it lookd liek a reel horr gam an not jus some poop from a scratcher who dun know what he doin.

so wen i hit plae i starttd off w/ my caractr in his rc. it lokd normla. i had a postr w/ a pic of sonic. m bed was mesy. i had a rug paternd liek a tnt block. it ... it lokd liek it was mad 4 me. i relized how crepy tha twas, knowin how huenesron is nothin lik me an woldnt includ any of dis in his gaem. i also noticd dat m partners bed was enpty an everthin on thdat sdie of da room loke like i t hand’t ben touched for a whiel. dat was crepy. did m partener die? did satn kil him? ther was nothin 2 interat wit/ in da rom so i went oud ta dor. i walkd arond hq. everhtni as drak. but no npcs were anywere until iig found a rom dat was ful of corpss. som of dem wer hman or hunmnoid corses an som wer sueven corpsen. tah twasnt good. der was a big red pfentangram on the flor. den dre was reds tatic aneed a mesag flashne done htde scrheeen. it sad “dis igs hwo its spowesed 2 be. now mak dat a realty.” den evrrythin disaperd. i was bak in mah rc aggin. “aw is this gona repet until id os umgething?” i sad. aprantlh nto. becaye s wen i exitd de rc agin i saw ppl rushin abot.

“so… am is uposted 2 kil dem al?” i wondrd 2 myslef. “am i workin 4 satan? ar da flors satan? hwo do i evn kil al of dem anyway thers a lot of ppc agents?!” so eventuly i kild everyon. al de ablod stans wer shapd like pentgrams so i new i ws doin it wright. rigte? an i got dis mesga dat sad “god job. now its tim 3 do do make dem into ur on cretin.” an then the gam turnd into a dres up game wher i stitchd pizzes of de corpsen togethr an made a new beng. it was rely distrbng, but a litl funy 2. “haha i gues im makin my own sueven. a franekensweben.” my lagh was tingd woth disbeligf. i figred i shold make a fewmla swreven so i can deriv at lest a litle enjoment from tis gam. she was supr sexxxy. i dont regret dat at all. i namd her “dmon of lust” just 2 be humrous. but den ter was a jumpscra. an de gam crashd an owodlnt come back on for dt rest of de dae.

[a/n: did u heer dat satan stopd screwin wit other pwepls videy gams an maed his owne? acoding 2 a gam3 calecd pony iwlasnd he dos. mr/akipleir played it.]

i opend up da discord teh next dae. i had a questin 2 ask da ppc. “just 1 questin…” i sayed. “ar u SATANISTS???” “no, defanitely not” sad nershomej. “we dont promot any kind of satan worship whered u hear tat from??” “i didnt hear it from anywheres” i sayd “i jus got dis messag from a guy cald n-ever forgot-n an it had a donlode link 2 de ppc video gaem an when i playd it it had satanic symbols and blod everywheres.” whinsoreon replyd 2 me sayin “well were not satanits. as da games cretor i can definatly say dat i put nothin of da sort in tere. wonder how tose got ther…?” “sound like a romhak 2 me” tho th piepd up. “yea dat sounds liek a resonabl explanaton” agred hwuinsorone. “b carful it may be a band usr tryin to maek us look bad.” “um i dont kno if dis is da rite time” saed tomash da tank engin “but i dont see n-ever forgot-n in da chat log did he pm u?” “no” quoth i.

and ten… i saw… N-EVER FORGOT-N WAS ON!!11!!11!

“n-ever forgot-n… R U IN BAND!!?!??!?!?” i said canfrontasionaly. “no no of course not :)” he sad. “whew” i sad.

“BUT I AM SATAN!!!!!11!!11!!11!!!!!!!!!!11!!11!!!!!” belowd my compootar in a demonik deep voice an a hyper realistic demon face popd on2 my computer scrfen. “o crap dats a lot worse!!!” i scremd!!! teh demon face started gettin bigger. i clickd around. nothin happend. teh demon face started gettin scarier. i hit contrl q. nothin happend. my compuupuu starte to blead. i hit da powr buton. nothin happend. da demon face started to come out of da comput an towards me. i unplugd it. nothin happend. i herd it wisperin 2 me all da dark secrets of demons. my mom came in and dats wen it went away. da scren was blak. whew! satan must ve not wantd my mom 2 catch him. “wat r u doin up at 3am” she askd. “talkin 2 british ppl” i sad. “well go 2 bed they can wate” she said. “i dont want 2 its importan” i sad. “hwy teh computers unplugd wat r u doin go to sleep!” she said. “damit” isad an went 2 bed. but i didnt fal aslep b/c if i did satan wold get me. nothin hapend. da scren stayd blac. damit i dont like gaems liek dokidoki lit club b/c its alredy gllitchy an thats in10ded by da dev an ther4 i cant make a crepypasta abot it b/c its alredy glitche so i cant make it glitche. oops sory dat was ment to be a pm 2 my friend XoXoAmyRose101 on da an i axidentaly wrot it in da fanfic an left it in. f ya wanna hear wat ame said she sayed “u could maek it even glitcher or mak monica com out in2 da reel world” an i said “gud idea” an she sayd “thx”. but anyways bak 2 wat hapend. it was sumr btw so i didnt hav schol. yay!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!

so i plugd in my comPUTIN AGain an it startd up as normal. but den i saw dat insted of meh usernaem an profile pic an lok scren it had a pic of a pentagrams an a got head and teh lok scren was a blody sacrifical nife an teh usernam dsaid “SATANIC MINION”. “o crap” i sayed “thank god my parents r at work.” i tryed sinin in as anoter usr but it woldnt let me. Satans ben taken tips from monka aparntly. scru u monika, u her me? SCRW U. yea so i must confes i liek anime gaems especialy honey pop im relly god @ playin i w/ one hand ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but ten amy introdused me 2 ddlc an tol me it was a datin game an of curse ifel 4 it an now i jus finished it an im so freakd out. Liek u dont even know. HUH!

AAAAAAAAAANYYWAYYYYYS. so i of corse had 2 log in as SATANIC MINION an i typd in my reglar pasword. It workd. SATANIC MINION was MY account.. Ten it logd in an i saw dat da bakdrop was an anime pic of al da borders xept tey wer ded, ech had ben kild in a difrent way. “o no did satan kil dem?” i sad. i rite clickd on da bakdrop an it sad “U WER SMART THIS TIEM. THIS IS WAT WULD HAPEN IF UD SLEPT.” i fist pumpd becase ya bein controld by satan so tat id murder all da borders is a prety gud thing 2 hav sucesfuly avoided! i opend up da discord 2 ask 4 help an it sayd i was band. i went 2 da bored an it sayd i was band. i went 2 da wiki an it sayd i was band. i was startin to get anoyd an worid. had satan band me? had he hakt my aconts on everythings an mad me say things so my beluvd frends wold turn on me?!?!?! oh god i hop not!!! so i opend up gmale 2 emale wheenasauron an it sayd i didnt hav his emale. Wat? id emaild him 4 a beta reding so of corse i had it! i usd a roundaboat way 2 look up his emael and finaly i had it. i ekplaind da situaton to him: “dat guy on da discord who gav me da gaem was actaly satan an he almost cam out of da computr (wen i askd him who he was) until i unplugd it. wat hapend tat nite b4 i plugd it bak in? did he ban me or did he hak me 2 make u guys ban me?” hunserum replyd w/ an emael tat was jsut a bunc of gibersit. lines up on lins of giveris. i scrold thru it thinkin dat tere mite b somethin i cold us an eventuly i came acros a mesage in english. Finaly!

hunesrons mesage sad:
“He tryd 2 imperson8 u an wen i chalenjd him 4 not soundin liek u he got mad an band u. i lokd in2 ur problem. alot of ppl hav had ur problem b4, it seme satan has mad many atempts 2 do bad things thru vide games. u cant delete da gaem if satans corupted it. u cant even click on it or hell come back. wat u ned 2 do is downlod da reel verson of da gaem. abov is a cod w/ u must tyep in2 da game 2 maek it fuse w/ its corupted verson. cant copy an paste it, go leter by leter. only typ in da cod wen u hav maed ur agent as porful as posble, an then u can defet teh su u mad an even satan in da gaem an make him go away. thx for rechin out. - hS”

now i knew wat i had 2 do. i did al da tings an defeted satan. now he knos not 2 mes w/ me anymoar. but he cold come 4 u. listen, if a discord user u havent seen b4 trys 2 giv u a copy of da ppc gaem, don’t downlod it. u mite not be as luky as me.

Now that you mention it, I guess those bits were a little confusing. I was thinking Theo was fixing cars for people outside of HQ, mostly in New Caledonia. I was thinking it would be a kind of "Hey, I know a guy who can do that for half the price the shop charges" arrangement. I knew a guy in college who did that for people in the town, and that's where I got the idea. But I definitely should have specified that.

And the "bigger on the bottom" thing is the RC itself. Some years ago I read a Doctor Who fanfic where a TARDIS's chameleon circuit was credited for making the TARDIS "bigger on the bottom", presumably instead of bigger on the inside. The implication I was shooting for is that Theo missioned that fic (or one with the same mistake -- no idea how common it is) and stole the chameleon circuit, then applied it to his RC. I'll edit the story to make that clearer.

Anyhow, thank you very much! I'm glad you liked my prompts, and, of course, thanks for Permission!

*Accepts party hat, proffers lozenge*

Not sure what my two cents will be worth, but there you go.

...for answers for quite a while.

Get your results here!

~Ak

*starts coughing*

Okay, let's take a look here.

First of all, I enjoyed reading the prompts, genuinely enjoyed it. I smiled the whole way through both of them, and I didn't notice any SPaG errors jumping out at me. And I saw you screaming at the fic in the chat last night, so you definitely picked a zinger for your first mission. Thumbs up.

The main question I have pertains to the first prompt. Well, two questions, really.

Why does Theo fix up cars in his RC? Who does he repair them for? Other agents in HQ won't exactly have a need for them, and if he's giving DoSAT a hand in his free time, I'd imagine he would just go to their workshops where there's more room.

What's the sudden reference to Doctor Who supposed to be for? I keep rereading that bit trying to figure out if the car Theo is fixing is supposed to be the "bigger on the bottom" TARDIS or not, or if he brings it up for some other equally unexplained reason.

When you see this I'd love to hear some explanations for the above two questions, but otherwise, I'm going to say Permission granted.

*sticks a party hat on your head*

"Have you realized yet that this is both madness and folly?"

Ahh, but that makes this all the more sweet!

Despite the descriptions, the body mods actually sound... beautiful? Though that may just be me, being poetic. =P

Fan theories!

((I did laugh at the description of the eyes.))

Only mostly... /brushes off a tear/

And this time it's a serious completion (I almost submitted a really silly run-through I did of it while Beta-ing which contained a Time Lord called the Tester, a distopian future where hS was the founder of the PPC empire that now ruled the earth, and if the answer had multiple tick boxes the answer was always ALL OF THE ABOVE)

Novastorme.

I'd like to open by thanking Larfen J. Stocke for betaing these prompts for me and checking over my character bios.

And without further ado I'd like to request permission for the following agents to take up residence in RC 423 as members of the Department of Mary Sues, Freelance Division.

Agent Bios

Sophie List

Sophie was born an only child in World One and grew up in Tucson, Arizona with her parents, having a fairly normal childhood. She graduated college at 23 with a BA in English and no real idea of what to do with her life: up until then everything had been decided for her and she had never had to make any major decisions for herself. Her parents wanted her to get a job, so she went out one day to walk down to the local grocery store and ask for a job. On her way there, she accidentally wandered through a plothole into the PPC and asked for a job. The PPC being the PPC, she was hired and immediately assigned to the division most in need of people at that point in time: the DMS.

She’s white, with short black hair, brown eyes, and freckles. She is around 5’6” and tends to dress in baggy clothes. This is because she thinks she is larger than she actually is and keeps buying clothes that are too big. She’s vastly unruffled by most things, which can be a strength or a weakness. It takes a lot to shock her, but at the same time she often lets things slide that she really ought to question, and sometimes it comes across as airheadedness. Sometimes it is airheadedness. She’s peppy and a bit bossy, especially with people she’s supposed to have some sort of relationship with, such as roommates or partners. And even though it takes a long time for her to get riled up, once she does get riled up she explodes and refuses to be calmed down. She also tends to hold grudges.

Thorongir “Theo” Dúnedan

Theo was a Dúnedain Ranger bit character recruited from a Lord of the Rings suefic.¹ He might almost have assimilated back into the canon, except he was a “Ranger of Erebor” and when this discrepancy was pointed out to him he nearly suffered a mental breakdown from attempting to reconcile two conflicting sets of memories; one of growing up and spending most of his life in the shadow of the Lonely Mountain and the other of a more typical Ranger’s life. The agents assigned to the fic brought him back to FicPsych. After his memories were stabilized he asked for a job. One of the agents who rescued him picked the name Theo for him, as Thorongir is only one letter different from a canonical name.

He requested a DMS Lord of the Rings division assignment because he wanted to still visit and protect his home continuum. After a few months he switched to DMS Freelance division, where Sophie List was eventually assigned as his partner.

Theo is a problem solver, good at finding solutions where they aren’t readily apparent and repurposing items to be whatever he needs at the time. He discovered a love for all things mechanical during his first few months as an assassin. Observing and understanding situations is key to solving problems, and Theo is the sort who thinks more than he talks. He’s not good at dealing with failure, however.

He wears his hair in a ponytail most of the time. There is sun damage on his face and arms, because sunscreen doesn’t exist in Middle-earth, and he’s six feet and a quarter inch tall.

Writing Samples

One agent moves into another’s RC

“Is that a car?”

Theo peered around the hood of the vehicle to take in the person standing in the door. The newcomer was looking around with the confused expression typical of someone trying to figure out how the room’s bottom half was bigger than its top half while the walls remained perfectly perpendicular. “How did you fit an entire car into your RC?” she asked.

“It seems you are my new partner,” Theo said. The car did fit into the RC, but just barely, so he had to press his back against the wall and lean forward in order to ease past it so he could approach the newcomer. “My name is Theo. I’m from the Lord of the Rings continuum. I’m pleased to make your acquaintance. Where are you from?” He held out a hand stained with engine grease for the other agent to shake.

She grabbed it and shook enthusiastically while still looking around at the car-filled RC. “Sophie List,” she said. “Earth, I guess. Do you sleep in the car? I’ve never slept in a car before.” She seemed rather unconcerned that Theo hadn’t answered her first question yet. “Can we move it over? I have a TV I want to put in here. I guess I could set it up on the hood.”

“It doesn’t belong to me,” Theo said. “I do car maintenance sometimes for extra money. It will be gone tomorrow. And no, I do not sleep in the car. There are bunks built into the wall by the bathroom.” Instead of indicating the place in question he leaned over and picked up the bag she’d set down in the doorway, hefted it for a moment, and then tossed it toward the bunks. It landed half on and half off the top, teetered for a second, and then settled.

“Ooh, dibs on top!” Sophie said.

“I’ve been living here for four months already,” Theo said. “I get dibs. Fortunately for you, I chose the bottom. And which Earth?”

“Earth earth,” Sophie said. “I think someone called it World One? Earth earth. So how do you fit an entire car in your RC? It’s the grey, isn’t it? Everything in this place is probably bigger than it looks.”

“I see,” Theo said. “You’re a newbie.”

“Yeah,” said Sophie. “Car. RC. How?”

“It’s a trophy I won from a ‘Sue. Are you familiar with Doctor Who?” The last sentence was punctuated with a peculiar twitch of the brow that Sophie recognized as the longsuffering look of someone who was looking forward with despair at the many things they would have to explain. Some of her worse college professors had worn it nearly perpetually.

She chose to ignore it. “Yeah! Well, the new series, anyway.”

“She had a chameleon circuit that made her TARDIS ‘bigger on the bottom’.”

“Huh,” Sophie said, lowering her eyes as she considered that. “I didn’t think the chameleon circuit --”

“It doesn’t,” Theo said. “‘Sues aren’t known for their knowledge of the canons they inhabit.” He started to edge back around the car. “No need to stand in the door. In fact, close it, if you would. There’s space in the bathroom.”

Sophie closed the door and then sat on the hood of the car and swung her legs over it. “Don’t do that,” Theo said. “You’ll scratch the paint.”

“I won’t scratch the paint,” Sophie said from the entry to the bathroom. “I’m wearing cotton clothes and canvas tennis shoes. How would I even scratch the paint?”

“I see you are new here,” Theo said. “You’ll soon learn not to ask questions like that, unless you would like to hear the answer.”

“Questions like what?” Sophie said. “How to scratch paint?”

“Do things that should be impossible,” Theo replied. He looked at Sophie over the top of the car, brushing wisps of hair that had come loose from his ponytail behind his ear. “Haven’t you talked to a Flower yet?”

“You mean like that big Daisy? Yeah, he gave me the job!”

“And I suppose he expects me to train you. The message notifying me of that should be in any minute now.” As if on cue, the console emitted an earsplitting BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

“Is that the message alert sound?” Sophie yelled, slapping her hands over her ears.

Theo didn’t respond until he had managed to edge over to the console and turn it off. “No,” he said. “That’s step one of your training.”

The Agents Talk about Lust Objects

Sophie leaned over the edge of the top bunk, hair falling floorward as she made eye contact with Theo in the bunk below her. “I’m just saying,” she said. “It’s a good look.”

“I’m sure it’s a very good look, if you are into that,” said Theo, stalwartly continuing to read his PC World issue. “Please stop talking about him.”

“I mean, you can probably pull the look off too,” Sophie said. “But you’re you, and you’re my partner, and no.” She thought Theo wasn’t really reading; he’d already read this issue three times.

“It’s not that,” Theo said. “You’re making me uncomfortable.”

“Okay, okay, I get it, not your type,” Sophie said. “But he’s definitely my type. Some people say the whole never-washes-his-hair thing is a turn off but I actually like it. He has a job to do and it’s more important than things like showers. And, y’know, you aside of course, I really like the whole long hair thing and he’s very muscular and just generally yummy.”

“I get it!” Theo said. “Your registered Lord of the Rings lust object is Aragorn! If you keep talking about it I’ll report you and Upstairs will have you watching the No-Drool Videos!”

“It’s okay to have lust objects,” Sophie retorted. “You know what they say; look, don’t glomp. You have LOs too, don’t pretend like you don’t!”

Theo laid his magazine down across his chest and met Sophie’s gaze with the ire of an irritated Ranger. “My lust objects aren’t your cousins,” he said.

Sophie paused for a moment, though Theo wasn’t sure if it was from surprise or all the blood that must be in her head by now, judging by how red her face was. Probably the latter. “What?” she said eloquently.

Of course she was talking again in moments. “Aragorn is your cousin? I didn’t know Arathorn had siblings. Or was it Gilraen?”

“Second cousin,” Theo said. “My great-grandfather was Gilbarad, father of Ivorwen.² Relatives of canons tend to be ‘Sues, and I’m sure you realize the problem with being ‘Sueish in this place. I’m not ashamed of it, but I don’t advertise it. In any event, I’ll thank you to stop telling me how attractive you find my kin.”

Sophie pulled herself back onto the top bunk and was silent for nearly thirty seconds. Theo took advantage of the time and flipped his magazine up again to keep reading the article about the new Ryzen hard drive. He was thinking of buying one, but not quite convinced yet, despite the glowing review. Still, it wasn’t like he had anything better to do with his money, aside from paying for hobbies.

Sophie’s voice interrupted his ruminations. “If I can get Upstairs to clear a visit to OFUM, can you get me an autograph?”

Badfic

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12834406/1/The-Chaos-In-Stars

Let me quote our good friend Larfen on this one:

"tony stark's serial killer sister named artemis with dark black eyes like a goldfish"

I mean, it’s not the worst ‘Sue I’ve ever seen, but there’s so much to riff off of, such as her hamhanded description of her own eyes, which have black irises most of the time; or the fact that her code name is AS09, which sounds just like “asinine” if you say it fast enough. It’ll be an amusing and fairly standard mission, which will be good to introduce my agents and establish their dynamic.

___________

¹ The fanfic in question is a fanfic I wrote when I was a kid. It was pretty terrible, but Theo was a decent, well-rounded character despite his dumb name. He deserved better.

² It’s not inherently bad to have a character related to a canon, so I think this is something FicPsych would have left alone while resetting his memory. I didn’t include it in his bio because I doubt it will ever come up in general missions and suchlike. But I couldn’t resist the opportunity to use it for comedy, especially since Sophie’s LotR LO is Aragorn.

Also, it’s not the case that all Rangers are closely related to Aragorn, for the record, though 14-year-old me certainly thought so when she made this character up.

It was... just a test to see if you were reading it all. Yeah, that sounds good, right?

Right?

Okay... I'm with you so far. This is some kinda fantasy ABO AU. Sure. Why not?

I'm not sure it can touch anything that's canon about Agents Ix and Charlotte with a ten-foot pole, but at least it doesn't make me want to laugh until I puke. And it's mechanically sound, too.

If yon DimBulbDeadGlow is going to like the next part, though, I'll probably hate it. Alas.

--Lemony

Awww, you literal-minded Imperial Fist type. I was being sarcastic, darling. I'll rephrase:

All expressions of love between consenting adults are hot. Good communication is hot. Consent is hot. Respect and trust are hot hot hot!

How's that? Would you like me to be even more forceful with you? <3

--Lemony

Wait, sorry, I'll rephrase that as a statement for you:

I do not entirely agree with what you're saying.

While it's true that Space Marines were created and conditioned to serve, they were also left with the greater part of the personality traits that made them individuals. The Emperor and his gene-wrights were clever enough to remember that, genetically and socially, diversification means survival. See, if they just wanted a bunch of guys who were all basically the same and were only good at following orders, taking a beating, and little else, they could've just bred or cloned them like the migou laborers on Terra. But they didn't. They took tough kiddos with different skill sets and wrought them into super-tough kiddos with unfaltering(ish) loyalty and different skill sets. Sure, you need plenty of common soldiers to fill the ranks, but even a common Astartes soldier shouldn't have to go whining to his superior officer for permission to wipe his arse, now, should he? Because out there in the big bad galaxy, beset by xenos and heretics and whatnot on all sides, thinking outside the box and adapting to constantly changing circumstances isn't just useful; it's vital.

TL;DR: Space Marines may not all be leaders, but they sure as heck ain't all followers, either.

Anyway, Agent Thoth has the rules and mores of HQ to keep his head on straight. That counts!

--Lemony

All I can say is wow. You actually got an emotional response from me.

It was laughter.

I'm not sure I've ever read anything less sexy in my life. It's possible, but honestly, I doubt it. You're too clueless to even bother critiquing. If I were the praying type, I'd pray for your immortal soul.

0/10, would not even use to start a rancid garbage fire.

--Lemony

(( It's okay. It's like Cards Against Humanity. Sometimes it's fun to do things that make us all cringe together. ^_^

(( ... I reckon I'm going to have lots of fuel for CAHQ after this.

~Neshomeh ))

(( Because Part 3 is too long to break up for the Board. {= P

(( Still probably SFW? Involves Astartes body-mods being kinda squicky to a guy from a planet that still has a taboo against surgery outside the most dire of circumstances. Also a serious discussion about nipples on armor Space Marines.

(( In defiance of all that, also makeouts. {= )

(( Not sure why it refuses to center-align my title in the published doc. Is it showing up like that for everyone, or just me? ))

A/N: Did I rustle everyone's jimmies with this one? Too unsophisticated and slow? Too much like real life?

I do hope so. :3

--Lemony