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It's free on smartphones/tablets. The real problem is getting it on computers. If I could work out where it gets its datafiles from, I'd make a raw text version. As it stands...

...Provided you have a smartphone.

If you do, go to the book's website (yes, it has a website), and download the author's app. From there, you can download the whole book free of charge. Along with the "multimedia experience" that goes with it. For you see, the book is associated with a music album also made by the author, one song per chapter. And you can have it play the music as you read, I think.

The fact that this got this kind of treatment and Masterharper of Pern didn't is certifiable proof that there is no justice in this cruel world.

Also, having read the liveblog, I can say that the ending of this books reminds me of another, more NSFW, terrible erotically charged story involving an elder god that's ambiguously M/M but it's hard to say because elder god, and is also ambiguously anti-capitalist. Yes, I've read another one. Don't ask me how that's possible, I do not know. I think it might be better than this one. And also worse. I mean, we're really just measuring different levels of precipitously bad here. Given, the Other One is actually pornographic, so the genre standards are lower on average. But that's no excuse, and it's still really bad.

~Thoth doesn't know what he's doing.

Both on 'the Polyp' and on a live readthrough being fun.

(Though, I wouldn't stare at the cover art too long; apparently it is just as disturbing as the text.)

I could ask Bryton ("punrisenebula") where there's spares? Not sure how much mailing them would cost, though. >.>

(And just wait until you get to part 2...)

Have a line of conga rats! Hopefully they'll help make the terror less all-encompassing.

The DIC precedent is apparently mostly mine, but I'm pretty sure I was drawing on Despatch and TOS at least in part.

But it makes all kinds of sense. Not everybody can be an expert in everything, so sometimes a team of assassins may need assistance from a disentangler for a knotty crossover, or a Pyro for getting rid of troublesome non-canon locations. Sometimes the disentanglers might need an assassin or a Bad Slasher, because they're not in the DMS or DBS already for reasons. Sometimes you just need somebody who knows the canon better than you, regardless of department.

And sometimes the authors just need an excuse to put their characters together. ^_^

~Neshomeh

Here, have a triple chocolate (chocolate with chocolate chips and chocolate icing) cupcake! Don't forget to blow out the candle!

That is, if anyone here can get their hands on the original text.

I haven't read through the liveblog, but even halfway through part one, the weird names, bizarre concepts, and unfortunate word choices tell me this would be loads of fun to read out loud. I can't get over the god-thing being called "the Polyp." Seriously, Polyp? That's a thing you don't want your doctor to find in your colon because it might be cancer.

Or, to be fair, "a sedentary type of animal form characterized by a more or less fixed base, columnar body, and free end with mouth and tentacles, especially as applied to coelenterates" or "an individual zooid of a compound or colonial organism."

But STILL. That's about as far from "sexy ocean god" as you can possibly get. {X D

~Neshomeh

Though I'm also not sure if you suggested it, or if I got the idea from yours on the wiki, or what. I do know I eventually found a sort of pre-packaged SortTable Javascript out on the interwebs and incorporated it into the Songbook, which I had been wanting to do almost forever, and that's the same thing I have on TLT.

But sure, if Baron hS wants to take the credit for doing it first, that is technically correct. The very best kind of correct. ^_~

~Neshomeh

I don't have a response to this. No words can explain.

You might not know the name, but you know the work. Hashimoto was the screen writer for Akira Kurosawa. He wrote Throne Of Blood, Seven Samurai, Ikiru, Hidden Fortress, The Bad Sleep Well, and Rashomon.

He died of pneumonia, and we lost a titan of Japanese cinema.

So, say, in the Fallout Wasteland, you'd slap them with a rolled-up checkered suit to draw upon the betrayal and backstabbery of Benny in New Vegas. (Or perhaps pistol-whip them with a 9mm pistol, because Benny's choice of weaponry is the unique 9mm pistol Maria, but that's a little more of a stretch and obviously involves actual weaponry.)

Or in Terraria, you'd pelt them with rotten eggs or bonk them with a Clothier Voodoo Doll or Guide Voodoo Doll, all three of which allow the player character to kill their own NPC allies. (Do they make fics about Terraria? They almost certainly make fics about Terraria...)

Or in Equestria, you could use the goggles of a Shadowbolt, the fictitious group Nightmare Moon used as an (unsuccessful) ploy to get Rainbow Dash to abandon her newfound friends in the pilot.

I love it!

So if you were in Middle-earth, you could chuck an action figure of Saruman at it, drawing on his betrayal. And so on and so forth.

hS

...smacking them over the head with a small bag filled with thirty silver coins or whatever equivalent currency in the fic's canon (say, thirty bottlecaps, or thirty Sickles), as a reference to what Judas got for betraying Christ. But at *that* point, we're back at Christian stuff, and there's not much point in using it over the Bell, Book, and Candle.

But I fear the work that is yet to do cannot be passed to others; it is down to filing and the craft of art.

(Also I'm stubborn as rocks and am danged well going to finish this insane project myself. Oh, the trouble I store up for myself...)

hS

I know I've played around with those on the Wiki, and I have vague memories of maybe suggesting you could do it? Only I can't find any evidence of that, so maybe I also... didn't.

Regardless, Baron Huinesoron is happy to claim credit. It'll help him get over the fact that you finished redecorating before he did. (Look, I'm getting there...!)

hS

I have several agents who aren't permanently assigned to one department, or are Designated Experts. Agent Mortic is unpartnered in WhatThe specifically so he can be paired up with people who need expert help; Agent Huinesoron is the same for DOGA, plus he's Grelvish consultant for SIELU, plus he's in the Geology division of DAS. Heck, there's direct precedent over in the DCPS, where many of the caseworkers are also agents in other departments, and do DCPS work in their free time.

I like it; it's a way to get more variety in PPC stories without doing down the 'they're Floaters so they do everything' (or 'they're Assassins but they do everything anyway') route. Not that I haven't done that too, but it's fun to see things get more diverse out in HQ.

(It also stops the UDoI becoming the DIO take two, which would be... yeah.)

hS

Nooo parentssss no, sorry, that's something else.

Yeah, it's Dark-type. It's not a Dark-type move, it's just... darkness. And the ghosts are just ghosts. ^^

However, you're absolutely right that that's not really what 'Dark' in Pokemon refers to; it apparently comes from the Japanese for 'evil', and it's basically Slytherin-type.

I'm not sure what you'd use as a physical embodiment of sneaky backstabbing. The whole point is that they're not actual weapons, so I'm not keen on the gun version; the 'while its back is turned' version works nicely, but might be tricky to work into an explanation.

As for why Sandra and Freckles got it wrong... well, they had just transferred from the DMS, and I don't think either of them know Pokemon. I mean, they also thought <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/169FF6AOFyOqkrm1VFDRIwUHKWBT4q0ljZJjZvyYi9I/pub">Agent Atlas was a canon character, so they're hardly experts in everything... ;)

hS

I love the description of Los Taelis and things magically floating around and dashing off. Very Hogwarts. ^_^

The one thing that confuses me is the magical signposts based on a design proposed by Huinesoron. What does that refer to? And in this context, what's Headquarters? (This is potentially just me being dense.)

Baron Hieronymus definitely needs better accommodations for when he's staying at Los Taelis. A proper chamber, perhaps. With an office. A nice desk, plenty of quills and ink for all that tedious clerking. {= ) In fact... since I've got a couple of wizards now, what would you say to being promoted to Head Cleric? Seems more fitting for your station.

~(Baron) Neshomeh

The less manual work I have to do, the more I can get done, so sure! I appreciate things that are both effective and efficient. Harper and Smith team-ups: always a good idea. ^_~

~Neshomeh

For the Pokemon-style exorcism (which uses a piece of canon as a Silph Scope to reveal where you're supposed to aim, and either smoke bombs or thrown Sue-Wraiths to knock out the Sue-Wraith), why are smoke bombs used?

I get the projectile Sue-Wraiths, they're explained as "Ghost-type attacks" and yeah, you're literally attacking a ghost with another ghost, but the smoke bombs are supposed to be... Dark-type? Except Smokescreen (the closest analogous move to a smoke bomb) is a Normal-type move, not a Dark-type move, and it's mainly associated with Fire- and Poison-type Pokemon. The only Dark-types who get Smokescreen as a move are the Greninja line (who get it because ninja) and Spiritomb (who only gets it through breeding).

I personally would suggest a silenced firearm (doesn't matter what type, although you probably want a pistol, not a rifle, for range concerns) instead- the Dark-type are known for sneaking, backstabbing, and striking from the shadows, and an unexpected silenced pistol round in the back of the wraith's head could be viewed as the move Sucker Punch (whose Japanese name translates to "Surprise Attack"). Alternatively, one could instead just capture the spirit when its back is turned without an opening shot, and charge the Wraith while it's in the jar- which again, could be considered such Dark-type moves as Thief, Sucker Punch, or Knock Off.

...Or, you know. Just have a Pokemon on your team with a Dark or Ghost type move.

... you shouldn’t have a team dedicated to that. What would they do all the time? After all, we try to catch errors as soon as possible. Finding something only when the mission’s author is no longer around should be an exception.

I imagine that the Snowdrop wouldn’t have any agents permanently assigned to his department. He would temporarily draft knowledgeable agents from other departments as needed. (Androia and Hieronymus are supposed to be in the Harry Potter Division of the DMS, although I didn’t write any regular missions yet.)

HG