The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

(Though, if this keeps up, I might actually start claiming Nautilus as my own... and there's trouble down that route.)

Tricksy -ly adjectives...

To clarify, the parenthetical point is in fact about adverbs—it's better to use a strong verb than to tack an adverb onto a weak verb. E.g., "dashed" is preferable to "ran quickly."

Turns out it just didn't apply to this situation. >.>

~Neshomeh

Though in a different vein from Delta's. For the most part, I'm not planning new spin-offs--I'm planning to go back and develop and write for characters I already created who may have gotten a little sidelined, or just plain had their stories delayed. I also have ideas for arcs, and partially finished stories lying around. This is a combination of all that. I do already have a sense of what I’ll be working on first, but I’d love to know what people are interested in!

Without Me (You'll Be Cold in Summer)

"[...] To say that a Klingon has no honor is to provoke a fight to the death."

Allison was gaping at him. "That--that's--"

"We are a very warlike people," Kozar said helpfully. When his new partner continued to gape he grinned at her, sharp and amused. "I have had a Terran partner before, Allison. I know how to make allowance for innocent mistakes."

This is a planned set of interludes, with probably a couple of missions as well. The focus? The epic tale of Kozar's first DIC partnership (in 2013-14), with a human named Allison Brown. She and her character arc actually predate Kozar; even so, I'm glad I didn't start off with her, because she's now had the chance to develop a lot, and I like how she's turned out. She's been mentioned here and there without a name, and recently got her first appearance in this interlude, where Kozar dreams of her.

Essentially: Allison Brown, a mostly comics- and parody musicals-oriented young American woman, wakes up in the PPC and soon finds herself partnered with an alien from a series she knows nothing about. Kozar, meanwhile, has finally gotten repartnered after his move to the DIC (following a tribble incident. Of the sort where his human partner refused to get rid of one). This new partner? Another human. Somehow, it works. Unfortunately, tragedy is waiting in the offing...

Mission: 'Partially Kissed Hero,' or It Gets Worse

Dawn McKenna whistled to herself as she wandered through the grey hallways of the Headquarters of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum. Had anyone she knew been in earshot, they would have been unsurprised to recognize the Pirates of the Caribbean theme; as it was, only the walls bore witness.

Dawn McKenna and Jacques Bonnefoy go on a mission to a Legendary Badfic. It is quite possibly the weirdest mission either of them has ever faced. In short? It’s Partially Kissed Hero.

(Yup. This is happening. It’s going to be fun, y’all. And I’m not even being completely sarcastic.)

Mission: 'Blade,' or "...and razed you from hobbition"

"Give me a new partner,” Brenda insisted. "One that wasn't a Suethor two days ago."

No.

“Why not?”

It’s DMS policy not to switch partners before the first mission.

“You made that up.”

The SO shifted some paperwork around on the table and didn’t reply.

Once upon a time, I got Permission with agents Brenda Loringham and Charlie Shoe. They, uh, fell to the wayside somewhat, appearing primarily in an April Fool's Day mission, the comments section of several Multiverse Monitor theater reviews, and quite a few unpublished (or unfinished and unpublished) interludes and missions. One of these unfinished and unpublished missions was their first, to a badfic called "Blade."

Now, I want to rewrite and finish that first mission of theirs.

Senior agent Brenda Loringham and recent OFUM graduate Charlie Shoe try their best not to kill each other while taking on Laiqualassiel, Grelvish-speaking half-elven healer and last of the nymphs of Middle-earth.

Untitled Jacques-Calaquendi Interlude (2014)

Jacques Bonnefoy stood on a grassy Rohirric hill, swaying slightly in the wind. Faint glittery smears on the grass were the only sign of the Sue he’d just pushed through a portal to the current location of a pack of Wargs.

In 2014, Jacques Bonnefoy ends up accidentally visiting the pair of First Age Elves he did a mission with earlier on in the same year. A friendship continues to unfurl between Gurnirel and Naergondir and the human they spent days with in Hobbit disguise, who turns out to be a weirdly immortal human with a still-settling personality.

The ’Verses Aim to Misbehave (Blackout Interlude)

“Sherlock? Sherlock!”

“Ssshh!” A. J. Crowley rounded on the flatmate of the consulting detective in question. “There’s a meatloaf monster running around! Sstop yelling!”

Yup, this is the Blackout Interlude, as I started calling it ages before giving it a proper title. Set during the 2013 HQ Blackout, this is the ongoing, ever-growing “interlude” that, uh, isn’t finished yet. Involved in it are a large cadre of characters, as one might expect: it begins with Dawn, involves the author getting thrown into the mix, featured the original first appearance of Kozar and the Reader (as written by me, anyway, the Reader may have already shown up in the Continuity Council planning?) and just plain has a whole bunch of canon characters in there as well (from Supernatural, Sherlock, Good Omens…) And that’s not all! Tune in for more parts (the first three were posted, and at some point I started overhauling it…?) to find out where Castiel wandered off to, why exactly Kozar, the Reader, and Sherlock are finding people hanging upside down from lampposts in HQ, how Jack Harkness knew the Doctor had been in the PPC (see the end of Lily Winterwood’s interlude for reference), and where in the world Jacques came into this mess…and even more!

…in short? A Blackout romp, featuring many canon characters, the recruitment of an agent pair, the first meeting of future friends (also agents), and a mystery or three. Also, a nice little handful of meta. The original versions of the first three parts can be found here; the ‘first lines’ above are technically from the beginning of one of the scenes in the fourth part.

The Wandering Baron

Eshakhar sat in a nicely, if simply, carved wooden chair in her study at the Castle of Dawn.

A Plort story, in which newly-minted Baron Eshakhar reflects on her new status and the fate of her old friend. Set about a year ago.

Untitled Reader/Naya Piece (Interlude)

It was a nice day, probably, the Reader thought.

The Reader tries to come up with and perfect a gift for Naya. There is poetry. It is bad. Kozar makes an appearance.

Dawn's LotR Nightmare (tentative title)

Jacques woke up, oddly enough, to a familiar voice telling him to get up. Or, well, it seemed to be talking to him...it was a little hard to tell.

“Ardir,” the voice said. A gentle hand squeezed his shoulder. “Ardir, you must awaken. We will soon have guests, and I will have need of your help. Make haste.”

“Listen,” Jacques said, and began to open his eyes, wondering as he did so why no one else was in his bed, “I think you might have the--”

Here he stopped, and stared.

An old, about half-written idea that I think was meant for April Fool's Day (and semi-canonical at best), in which Dawn and a small handful of other agents wake up to find themselves acting out the Fellowship of the Ring events (with some additions)...in disguise...and without any PPC technology. Follow along as they try to figure out how they got there and what they can do to stop the story and get home!

(Aka, the one in which many, many people for some reason resemble Dawn, only a handful of people are real, there are First Age Elves playing Hobbits, bookverse characters exist, there are some suspiciously Sueish characters floating around, and it's very possible the whole thing started with a bit too much fun with a LotR dollmaker on dolldivine.)

(This isn't currently that high on my list of stories to finish, but...I'm curious to see if there's interest in it).

Untitled Reader/Naya alternate meeting (short AU)

Naya had been looking forward to the party, in a way that was really partly just about getting to see her partners in a party setting.

An alternate universe story in which Naya didn't attend a TARDIS repair session and the Guardsman and the Reader never resolved their differences. Instead, Naya meets an awkward young Time Lady at a social event and has a sharp discussion with her partner to finally set the record straight. (Not co-written, characters used with permission).

---
Survey link here!

So this is...kind of non-PPC writing. Think of it as...backstory of sorts...for an AU version of a PPC agent and some other people??

Alright. Basically: Doctor Who and Torchwood Hogwarts AU, wherein Torchwood characters through season 2 and Doctor Who characters through New Who's season 4 exist in the Potterverse--in the 1970s. The Harry Potter characters remain in place. Where does the PPC agent come in? Well, instead of Jack Harkness, we have Jacques Bonnefoy. And yes, there is a difference. Also, here he was born in France and sounds it, though he put a lot of effort into a British accent during school and uses that frequently as well.

Around 1975 or 1976, Jacques Bonnefoy (French Hogwarts student, graduated two years back) and his best friend Ianto Jones (Welsh Hogwarts student, graduated one year back) stumbled into the PPC (present day). They became agents in different departments, with the idea that they would stay for a time and then go back to figure out some way to help once the war with Voldemort heated up further, which it seemed it was going to. Several years later, that's what they did: they went back, rented a flat together, and joined their friends in trying to help (though not within the Order of the Phoenix itself).

It's not the best atmosphere to be living in, for the obvious reason that there's a war on.

A key:

Jon (Jonathan) Smith: the Ninth Doctor. Of an age with Jacques.
Johnny (John) Smith: the Tenth Doctor. Two years older than Jon.
(it's a family name!)
Rose Tyler and Ianto Jones--same names as usual, even if their backstories are a bit different.


"And you haven't seen him?" Rose was frowning. "I don't like this."

"Maybe he's just...out." Jon's voice was light, but the crease between his eyebrows betrayed him. "You know how he is--always liked his nights out--"

Ianto shook his head. "He was meant to be coming straight back. To the Muggle shops, to Diagon, and back. That's it." He stared down at his hands: useless. Completely useless. "I should've been with him."

Rose shook her head immediately, reaching out to take his hand. "You couldn't have known."

"There's a war on," Ianto said. He pulled his hands away and stood, trying to resist the urge to pace. He ended up moving haltingly toward the kitchen and then turning back. "I shouldn't have let him go alone."

It had seemed so easy, yesterday. Jacques had been grinning, teasing him as he checked his pockets. He'd at least seemed relaxed, switching in and out of French and daring Ianto to keep up until the younger wizard rolled his eyes and started speaking in Welsh--which he could do far too quickly for Jacques' limited knowledge of the language to work.

"Going to miss me?" Jacques had asked, just before he left. He'd sidled up close, eyes dancing.

Ianto had rolled his eyes. "Not a bit."

Jacques gasped. "So cruel! You know I think the world of you, mon ami--mon cher ami, mon--"

Ianto shoved him, grinning. "Just go to the shops already, you prat." He'd marched Jacques to the door with a hand on his shoulder; there, the grin faded. "Come back in one piece."

For a second--just one second--Jacques' fingers had brushed his cheek. "For you--I will."

He'd been out the door before Ianto could catch his breath long enough to roll his eyes, jogging down the stairs with a cheery wave and a grin.

And then he hadn't come back. No word, no sign--nothing. He was just gone. Ianto had already checked for him in several places, had even sent an urgent letter to his parents in case for some reason he'd got it into his head to go to France. Nothing had worked.

Sending a note to Rose and Jon had seemed like a good idea at the time. He'd been pretty sure they were around, for a change--both were working for the Order of the Phoenix, had tried to get him and Jacques to join as well--and, well, if Jacques wasn't with them, then...they might have a better sense of where he could be.

"I really don't like this," Rose said quietly. She looked up at Jon, nervously twisting the thin gold ring on her left hand; he looked back more seriously now, his ringless hands shoved deep into his pockets. "We're gonna look for him, right?"

Jon nodded. "'Course. Can't just let him vanish." His eyes flicked to Ianto. "We'll get him back."

"Yeah," Ianto said. He took a breath. "I'm coming with you. I should have--"

"No." Jon stepped forward, shaking his head. "Keep looking, but stay safe."

"He's my best friend. If you think I'm going to--"

"Have you ever done anything like this before?" Jon demanded. "I bet you haven't. Rose and I'll go. We're a good team. We'll find him, and we'll drag him out of whatever mess he's landed in. But you're going to be smart, and stay based right here, so there's someone to back him up if he gets out on his own and comes back with company."

"Or injured, you mean." Had the walls here always been so, so shabby? He'd thought it was a nice enough place, or at least bearable, but right now it just looked dull and pointless. They should have found something better, maybe in a different city--maybe then Jacques wouldn't have-- "You want me out the way and here in case by some miracle he--"

"I want you staying safe," Jon said sharply. He ran a hand over his hair, a habit he'd picked up from Jacques, who'd picked it up from someone else in turn--Hart, possibly, and wasn't that an unsettling thought. Whatever the two of them had been throughout school, it wasn't friends. "Can I be frank?"

Ianto jerked his head. "Can't stop you."

Jon met his eyes. His gaze was the sort of intense that almost made sense of how strongly Jacques had been drawn to him in fifth year--almost. Ianto could never completely see the appeal, even if he respected what he did--and, worse, what he was in another universe. "If he comes back to find you've got yourself killed, he'll go spare."

"If he comes back and got himself killed, I'll go spare," Ianto retorted.

Jon grinned; Ianto narrowed his eyes. "You're a right pair, you are. Look, me'n Rose--we'll get him back. Whatever condition he's in when we find him, we'll get him back. You stay here. Keep writing to people, keep checking places he might've gone in the Muggle world--"

"Couldn't Rose--?"

"I'll be busy," Rose said. She motioned to Jon. "Someone's got to keep him talkin' sense."

Ianto ran a hand through his hair, wishing for at least the twentieth time that he hadn't picked up the habit himself. "Right." Send the pureblood around to make house calls in the Muggle world--or, worse, telephone calls. No way for that to go poorly. "If you're not back in two days--"

Jon shook his head. "Give us a week."

"A week?"

"A week," Jon said firmly. "Hope we won't need it. A full week before you do something stupid, though."

Ianto crossed his arms, realizing too late he'd picked that up from Jacques as well. Was there anything in his life that hadn't been influenced by him by now? They'd only even been proper friends since Ianto's fifth year...which was admittedly quite a while ago, now. "I never do anything stupid."

Jon snorted. "Nice try, mate--knew you in school." He clapped Ianto on the shoulder and then looked over at Rose. "We should go! Get our things in order, figure out a place to start--"

"Yeah," Rose said. She came over to kiss Ianto's cheek. "Be safe, yeah? We'll bring him back."

Ianto nodded. "Maybe the pair of you should become Aurors, when the war's over."

Rose grinned. "Nah--when the war's done, I'm taking Johnny and moving as far away as I can get. Not like he won't have found somewhere interesting by now, all the traveling he's been doing..."

"Best be off," Jon said. He was already moving for the door; Ianto had the impression that he couldn't wait any longer to start looking, and was suddenly, fiercely glad of it. "Rose--"

"Yeah." She joined him, and smiled gently at Ianto as Jon opened the door. "We will find him."

Ianto nodded. "I'm sure you will. Take care."





For the curious, a (brief, incomplete) Hogwarts House key:

Gryffindor:
Gwen Cooper (a year below the Marauders)
Jacques Bonnefoy (three years above the Marauders)
Rose Tyler (half a year younger than Jacques by my notes)
Possibly Kevin (Jacques' year, still needs a surname--this is the translation of Jack's childhood friend who he...talked into joining a war with him and got, in short, killed. In this universe, he was killed by Death Eaters in the year before Jacques and Ianto joined the PPC).
Martha Jones (a year above Jacques)
Donna Noble (same year)

Hufflepuff:
Ianto Jones (a year below Jacques)
No one else from DW/TW, apparently. Weird.

Ravenclaw:
Owen Harper (Ianto's year)
Toshiko Sato (I have yet to figure out what year)
Johnny Smith (aka Ten, two years above Jacques)

Slytherin:
John Hart (tell me you're surprised. Look me in the eyes and tell me this is a surprise to you. I'll wait.)
Jon Smith (aka Nine. Went there primarily because he asked out of curiosity, and regretted it as Voldemort rose higher and the blood politics really got going. In fifth year, he loudly insulted his housemates over it in the Great Hall, and ended up with detention--and, after serving detention with Jacques (who definitely didn't get detention for this exact purpose), a new friend.)


Also: Suzie Costello is around somewhere, possibly not at Hogwarts at all, John Hart--well, we'll leave him for another time, and of course the Master's around--his name is Harry Saxon (though he'd really rather people called him Harold), and he's Johnny's sworn academic rival. They have quite a bit of fun, even if they disagree a bit when it comes to morals. In research.

Also also: where's everyone from Classic Who? They're around! Never fear. They're just a bit older! The Smith family is incredibly full of them, though they're definitely not all brothers. Presumably, all the companions are around as well. I do have a tentative description of how the Smiths are all related, but apart from that, I'll just leave you with the tidbit that the Three and Delgado Master equivalents are old friends of the inexhaustibly bantering type. That Master is quite likely Saxon's uncle (or father?) and Johnny and Harry probably met a few times growing up.

(Also also also: why, yes, this universe's Ten and Rose have gotten married. Yes, this is, in some ways, a happy AU. Yes, in other ways it might possibly be worse than canon. And yes, I did have a lot of fun creating this!)

~Z

is D'Aulaire's Greek Myths. It has really wonderful pictures, and covers a lot of the stories. It glosses over a lot of the more messed up sexual stuff to make it kid friendly, although it did include the guy mating with a cloud to somehow produce centaurs, so clearly didn't skip over all of it.

My youngest kid's school program introduces the book as a read aloud with flashcards of the important bits in 3rd grade and then again in 4th with more writing involved. My kid is spelling challenged, so no idea how I am going get him spelling things like Hephaestus this next year.

They sell it in paperback, but it's one I'd recommend getting in hard cover, it's a keeper. They have a D'Aulaire's Norse Myths, too.

My oldest second's Bulfinch's for more mature readers.

I love Google Docs. That's where I do all my writing. Which is probably why I hate reading finished works in Google Docs. I always have a nagging feeling that the work isn't complete when I am reading it there. It's probably just a weird thing specific to me, but just throwing that out there.

The main thing, though, is that I was gone for a long time and it's like a foreign country to me now. I don't know many of the people, and fewer of the agents, and I'm reluctant to go back and start at the beginning to learn the agents, especially if I have no knowledge of the canons.

...well, the Reader is keeping well out of this. She's getting her happy ending and she's keeping it, alternate timelines aside.

Have a Jacques Bonnefoy, though. He's been around since mid-2013, has some (at least remembered) experience with catastrophes, and can't stay dead outside of Torchwood: Miracle Day. If you can think of something to do with him, then go for it.

~Z

Looking forward to seeing the results.

~Z

Fanfic, Original Fic, things that relate to the PPC or not. This isn't a PPC specific prompt, in fact I'm trying my hardest to make sure that none of them are. This is about getting people to write about things that they want to write about, hell if you want to use it as a springboard for one of the elevator pitches further down the page, go ahead by all means.

In fact, if you ask me there's maybe too much PPC stuff going on in these prompt replies, seeing more diversity is really welcomed and refreshing.

Novastorme

How about this for an improvement?

_______ watched as she stripped it of everything useful for his tradecraft, even finding the secret compartments containing his deadliest poisons.





For bigger context, here it is in the paragraph.

The young woman dressed as if she just left a cloister nodded and retrieved the pack. Zevran watched as she stripped it of everything useful for his tradecraft, even finding the secret compartments containing his deadliest poisons. This sister bore watching. He subtly checked for the things he carried on his person. All gone. His estimation of her changed to artisan.

I mean, when you're trying to talk about all of something, you have a few options as far as words to use, but all of them basically serve the same purpose as "all" and would be just as potentially problematic.

A lot of the time (not always, mind) you can just drop the "all" entirely. You could say "she stripped it of his lovely potions" and "all" is, to some degree, implied. However, if you want to emphasize that all of something is involved, then you really have no choice but to use a word like "all" or "every".

Personally, I think that this is just one of those cases where an editing system gets it wrong. They're very useful tools, up to a point, but they have their limits and should always be augmented with a solid understanding of grammar and the meanings and connotations of words. Just the other day, my autocorrect tried to get me to say "the place were the boy stood" instead of "the place where the boy stood". I still use it; it's caught something I missed plenty of times. But I don't accept everything it says as fact.

It's good that you're watching out for these things, but I don't think "all" is a problem word.

Wouldn't "every" serve the same function in the sentence as "all" and therefore be just as bad, from a certain point of view? (Personally, I think there's nothing wrong with either.)

I mean, I agree that it's possible and good to be more descriptive than "all his lovely potions". I just don't think that the problem is the word "all", and I don't think it's really possible to improve on that word, or wise to try.

(And "lovely" is an adjective, not an adverb. Not that your point is wrong, just your terminology.)

• Elanor is cute - heck, the first two pages are nice heartwarming family stuff
  - ... ok, Artemis is way OOC
  - The Jesus line was good
  - Zeb, stop eating tuna
  - Plants growing out of her eyes. Wow
  - Ave seems tense about something around that conversation around Elator (or maybe maternal about Elanor), though maybe she was just joking
  - Projectile vomiting on Voldemort
  - Ave/Dee confirmed more When's the wedding
  - Zeb, stop tempting the IO
  - And when's Zeb and Jacques's wedding?
  
  Ok, overall thoughts:
  
  Ave's family stuff (and Elator) was really nice. Overall, I think this mission was a good balance of funny agent interactions, snark at the fic, and non-mission stuff. I'd say it's a reasonably solid PPC mission. Not exceptional, but solid.
  
  - Tomash

I quite liked Reorg, in case you're curious.

Oh jeez, that story. I have... complicated feelings about it. I like it? I think? It was the first thing I got a really strong positive response on here, which I thought was Pretty Neat. Some parts feel a bit... weird, from here? I dunno.

I don't know how or if I'd write it now, but I probably wouldn't write it quite like that.

Anyways, here are some hows and whys it all happened.

This was one of Nova's first prompts, and the line was "When will I see you again?" I'd already had ideas about Thoth before being an Astartes, and that kinda sealed the deal on that, because Thoth having to leave everyone behind is pretty dang evocative image, and it was the first thing to pop into my head and I am lazy, in case you haven't noticed. Especially on prompts.

The flashback scenes came first. Originally, there wasn't going to BE a present-time scene, but then it occurred to me that it would be a good idea to ensure people know that the person in the flashback is Thoth, because it might be ambigouous. And then I decided to play up that ambiguity and lead up to a reveal—a reveal that I was pretty sure everyone would have guessed already, but a reveal all the same. Why not?

As for the style of the flashbacks... Honestly? It was an excuse for me to not write dialogue tags or describe the surroundings, as much as anything else. I'm bad at dialogue tags, and none-to-great at descriptions. But more seriously, in terms of physical description, I'm not entirely sure what the scene would look like: canon is kind vague about Prospero, and while I can make some educated guesses, there are other things I'm a bit in the dark on. So... yeah.

I had the idea of it being an audio recording or something, so I could be lazy about visualization, and because it seemed cool. Then I had the idea of jacking the style of those interludes between Graff and Anderson (and whoever else, it varied) from Ender's Game. So that's that.

As for the precise content... that has a lot less to do with Thoth or anything than where I was at the time. I'd just come out, both to the board and, really, to myself, and that whole thing was weighing on my mind a lot. So... well. That was the first thing I thought of. And I ran with it.

So, it was with great eagerness that I sat down with the very latest Dresden Files... collection of short stories (DANG IT JIM WHERE IS PEACE TALKS?). Then I stood up a hours later or so, because I'd finished it. Jeez. I go through these things like tissue paper sometimes.

Anyways, I'm not going over whether you should buy it, because if you're a Dresden fan, it's a forgone conclusion, and if you're not, then you should go out and read the first three books to see if you'll become one. Because Dresden is Good.

For my TL;DR: It's good, but not as good as Side Jobs. That's probably just because Side Jobs had the single best Dresden short ever. You are welcome to guess which one that is, and you'll probably get it in one, because it's Just The Best, and that's obvious. But this is still good. Read it.

Basically, I'm going through the book story by story and giving my opinions. Added bonus, I'll try to make the whole thing as spoiler-free as possible (note from future me: I couldn't pull this off, everything from "Bombshells" onwards has spoilers. If you want to talk about spoiler stuff when you give opinions or whatever (and please do that thing, because yes), here's a spoiler block:

The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault. The spoilers were on fire, and it wasn't my fault.

Right, let's get this show on the road.

"A Fistful of Warlocks" - Yawn. Evil warlocks, necromancers, awesome fights... we've seen it all before. Maybe not from Lucio's perspective in the Old West, but still... this wasn't exactly the best note to open on IMO, because... pretty dull. By Dresden standards.

"B is for Bigfoot" - Now see, this is the story they should have started with. Yetis, classic Dresden investigation, and some Hitchhiker's Guide references for good measure. Then again, maybe it's just because I can empathize with Irving. I wasn't that kid, exactly. But I can certainly understand some of what he was going through. Also, if you wanted to know about Harry's dealings with Yetis after Skin Game... well. Here ya go.

"AAAA Wizardry" - It was okay. Not great, but... okay. Competant. Strong ending, all that jazz. But it's missing something...

"I was a Teenage Bigfoot" - And here's a story not missing that thing, whatever it is. Man, I really love this Bigfoot trilogy. It's fantastic. And this one has a punchline. Danged funny one at that.

"Curses" - Harry gets hired to lift The Billy Goat Curse, allowing the Cubs to once again win a World Series. It goes as well as you'd expect, although the actual reasons why it goes that way will probably surprise you. It certainly made me laugh a lot. Nothing funnier than a goat.

"Even Hand" - Ever wondered what goes on behind Marcone's eyes? This here's for you. Not great, really, but rock-solid, enjoyable, and interesting.

"Bigfoot on Campus" - The conclusion of the Bigfoot trilogy. It's good, just like all the others. I thought I found a plothole in this one, turns out I was wrong. But it does deliver a few good laughs, and definitely made me feel some things as well. So that was nice. Also, it's basically "How I wound up in the middle of a wrecked building/orgy in the middle of a college campus, by Harry Dresden." Which is hilarious, as is all the skepticism he gets from the guy he's telling the story to.

...and at this point, I've realized that I actually can't talk about these next few stories without spoiling some stuff. So beyond this point, I assume you've read up to Skin Game. You have been warned. Sorry about this.

"Bombshells" - This is how Molly got her deal with the Svartalves from Cold Days. We get to see some post-Ghost Stories Molly, which is cool. And... well. Dark. Molly is scary at this point. But even through all that, we get some laughs. From Andi, Thomas, Butters, and Molly herself. Mostly Thomas. That ending... jeez.

"Cold Case" - Okay, so after that last story, I thought this anthology couldn't get any more grim.

I stand corrected.

This is post-Cold Days Molly. And it's terrifying. I don't know if I'm scared for her, of her, or with her. Possibly all three. Everything about this story was harrowing, terrifying, and heartbreaking. And we get Cthulhu in the mix. Because in a terrifying and awful story that is as or more Grimdark than anything GW has ever put out, that was what we needed.

Um. At least we got to see some Ramirez? He is pretty attractive, or so I hear...

"Jury Duty" - Yeah, we needed a breather after that last one. Thanks, Jim.

This story is exactly what you think it: post-Changes Dresden gets called up for jury duty. Yes, this is exactly as hilarious as you think it is. No, it doesn't get old. Yes, it is more complicated than that. Yes, we get to see Will again, and that's pretty great. Just... read it. It makes me smile, in the way that is so very Dresden.

"Day One" - We get to see Waldo! WAAAALDO!

Also, it's post-Skin Game. So yeah. Great, fascinating, and... well, I'm not gonna deny it, it's absolutely hilarious. There's nothing for comedy quite like someone seeing The Call To Do The Will Of The Allmighty as a WoW quest icon. And somehow, it gets better. There is nothing more to be said about this one.

"Zoo Day" - This one's in competition for all-time favorite Dresden short. Okay, there is no competition, because one of them blatantly stands head and shoulders above the rest. But this one's close, just like "Aftermath" was in the last volume.

Harry takes Maggie to the zoo. Which... well, if your hard didn't just melt, stop reading this, because you've probably stumbled into the spoiler section by accident. :-P

Anyways, we get the story from three perspectives. Harry, who is... Harry, Maggie, who gives us valuable insight in how horrifyingly nightmarish being a child in the Dresdenverse actually is, and Mouse. Man, why don't we get more stories from his perspective? Mouse is great. He's like... uh... something really great. Like a giant magical dog or something. Anyways, each perspective gives us progressively more insight into what's going on, which is a style of storytelling I really like. Also, I think "Baglered" might become a permanant part of my vocabulary. We'll see.

Poor Alex - hair dye is not something to be ashamed of! At least Ce'rana gets some chocolate for her sleuthing, though.

I appreciate their distinct voices, as well~

And technically, he *is* a canon character - but not one you've met yet. ;)

The structure of The Wake is why he's an Umbreon and not his normal self, to keep it short. Nautilus is an NPC from that Dreamwidth comm.

Thanks! I'm glad I was able to convey enough of a picture. ^^

I've not read too far into the series, so I don't know if Bobo is an OC or a canon character. Either way, this was a nice little snapshot into his life.

Soon I shall forge glorious writing.

Until then, bast chauble.

Ce’rana of Borune smiled slightly as she finished drying her face, hanging the washcloth back on its little ring. It always was nice to be clean again, even if it was only some parts of her.

This time, however, she did not immediately turn and exit the bathroom. She took a moment to turn to the set of hanging shelves next to the sink; something towards the back had been bothering her in its nonidentifiability since she’d noticed it. Given the lack of dust, it was obviously either new or frequently-used, and she really saw no harm in keeping up with the various things her partner used.

Her eyebrows raised slowly when she picked up the black tube and read the label. Wordlessly, she stepped out of the bathroom and walked over to Alex’s half of the RC, extending it to him when she reached him. “Alex? May I ask what this is?”

He glanced at the tube for an instant, then paled slightly and looked back at the book he was reading. “Never seen it before in my life.”

Ce’rana blinked. Now that was an unusual reaction. “Are you certain? Because whatever this is, it is certainly not mine, and if it is also not yours then someone else must have been in our bathroom very recently.”

“That could be it, you know.” He shrugged, quickly turning his attention to his book in the vain hope that she would drop the subject.

The Dryad thought for a moment. He obviously recognized it, and just as obviously didn’t think that she knew exactly what the term ‘Hair Dye’ meant. She leaned down slightly and smiled, raising the tube slightly so she could compare it to his hair without him necessarily noticing. “Alex, are you entirely certain this is not yours?” she asked sweetly.

“I’m positive it’s not mine.” He didn’t look up, hoping that if he ignored the tube long enough, it would go away.

The tiny agent straightened again. “In that case, I will be holding onto it to ensure that it is not lost before it can be returned to its owner.” She bit her tongue for a moment to avoid spoiling her game. “I trust this will not be an issue?”

“You could just put it back… please?” He glanced up at her again, still hoping that she would drop the subject.

Ce’rana blinked. That wasn’t his usual tone for when she was bothering him about something. “Is it something expensive, then? I would think it would be better to keep it somewhere safe in a case like that,” she said a moment later, struggling to keep up her ruse of cluelessness.

“If you put it back, then whoever owns that will know where it is.” He was running out of excuses.

“Yes, but it might fall and be lost, given where it was.” The Dryad had to bite her tongue again to keep from just saying what came to mind next. “And if this individual will be continuing to leave things around, perhaps we ought to speak with one another and set aside a space to be leaving said things so they do not get mixed in with ours, as this did.”

“Rana… just put it back.” He really wanted to stop this conversation before it got worse. “I’m sure that it would be fine where it was.”

Ce’rana couldn’t keep her smile from growing wider. “I will if you tell me why this color matches the majority of your hair so well, Alex,” she said innocently.

His book closed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

She leaned down again and tapped his nose with the tube. “I may have never personally touched it, but many of the ladies at court were perfectly willing to change the color of their hair to match some fashion or another. As a result, I do know what the term ‘hair dye’ means, and even if I did not, I do know what dye is. The shade of black indicated by this container matches your hair almost perfectly - likely a minute difference between this and the dye itself. So, I repeat my question: why is it that this matches your own hair so well, Alex?”

“It doesn’t match my hair, see? I’ve got a brown streak.” He grabbed the offending streak of hair and held it out to show her.

Ce’rana raised her eyebrow at him. “Historically speaking, one of the more common fashions to recur was to have most of a woman’s hair be black, but have a single white streak left in it. Your argument proves nothing to me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It would be entirely plausible for you to dye every bit of your hair save for one streak, or to dye just that streak. However, seeing as I know you hate that streak, my closest guess would be that you have been attempting to cover it with dye.”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” He sounded less like he didn’t know, and more like he was just wishing she would buy it.

She tapped him with the tube again. “None whatsoever? Assuming I would believe this, whom is it that would have left this on our shelves among your things?”

“I will literally pay you to stop talking about this.” He pulled out a bar of chocolate.

Ce’rana immediately dropped the tube into his lap, took the chocolate, and walked back to her side of the room. No Tolnedran could resist the allure of the word ‘pay’, and no Dryad would resist so much chocolate for something so simple.

Alex gave a small sigh of relief, then picked up the tube and took it back to the bathroom. Ce’rana heard the sound of a sink turning on and chuckled to herself as she broke one of the little pieces off the bar. Even if she hadn’t gotten him to admit it, she’d still gotten all the answers she’d wanted and more.

You managed to be funnier than me in this situation. Partly because I'm tired and can't think straight, but you just win in general. I'm going to take notes from this event now.

-Twisthalia

A joke, or in this case, a roast, can be completely wrong and still be effective as long as someone aside from the joke teller laughs. Why do you think there are "yo mama" jokes?

Anyway, breaking people has never been my specialty. Leave that to the Amphilogiai. Instead I take whatever situations I get cornered in and laugh at them. It's my way of rolling with the punches, and you'd know that if you cared enough about me to actually examine my personality. I make people laugh. It's my deal.

So, since you started this fight, how it works should probably be on my terms. All we need to see who won is to get the audience to decide who was funnier... intentionally, I mean, not like how people who think that the trails made by airplanes are made of brainwashing chemicals are funny.

...gods damn it, I don't see much of an audience. Hey! Hey Scaphrodite, you replied to Herasoron's post too! You're an audience! Who's funnier around here? Make sure to be honest - being Scaphrodite, you can always repair your own face, right? And also mine?

-Twisthalia

(This'll probably be close. I don't feel like I was actually being funny when I made these posts. Oops a daisy. -Twistey)

"Heaven" was a bit of a callback to Zingenmir's last interlude with Jacques (who Zeb is most definitely not dating, no siree)—here's a link if you're interested.

Ave's not allergic to tuna just Bleeprin, but she doesn't want to smell that cooped up in a tiny closet.

And thanks for the typo correction! Fixed—and thanks again for the review. :)

It really was an awful fic, and the number of time skips are definitely why Ave wanted to leave the TARDIS at home. I didn't exactly feel like the time skips were too brief, though? Unless there's a really huge, logic-defying one, I'd just be bogging down the story with them getting sick.

The intro was one of my favorite bits about this one, and I'm glad you liked it. :)