Subject: Re. 9 and more on 11.
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Posted on: 2017-02-05 14:35:00 UTC

  1. Hm, I had hoped that "with a clear head" would clarify that "sooner" doesn't mean immediately, in the heat of the moment. What I was going for is basically "don't just ignore it and hope it will go away and then get mad and eventually snap when it doesn't," cuz I've seen that happen plenty of times.

    Any thoughts on how to put that more clearly?

    11. Y'know, looking at it again, I think the current wording of this does preclude the idea of apologizing if you've done nothing wrong. It deliberately sets up a scenario where people are saying "Hey, person, what you're doing is offensive/against Da Rules, you should stop." Breaking the rules pretty well does mean you should apologize. And then hS put in the bit that says "If there is a good reason," which... actually, I find that's bugging me a little bit, since the purpose of this article is to outline how to gracefully recover if you've gotten into trouble. It's not about what to do if people are jumping on you for no reason. I think trying to discuss that scenario here, or building in a sort of escape route ("But I don't think I did anything wrong!") muddies the waters.

    Also, this isn't something I think we can put into the rules without some dangerous implications, but it is worth remembering that a community dictates what is and is not acceptable to it. As many people have commented over the years, we do things quite differently to most of the Internet, so what's acceptable most places may not be acceptable here. To some degree, it's really on the person joining this community to learn its mores and adapt, whether it's explicitly required of them or not. Nobody gets to waltz into a new place and expect it to conform to their desires. So, if members of the community are telling someone that their behavior doesn't work for us, that is our prerogative. If you find the climate doesn't suit you, there are plenty of other communities to join.

    There are, of course, crucial limits to this idea, which is why I don't suggest trying to encode it in the rules anywhere. It's just something to think about.

    ~Neshomeh

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