Subject: Re: mission
Posted on: 2021-04-13 03:20:29 UTC

Wowee wow, that fic was not what I was expecting. I only know Castlevania from Super Smash Bros., so I was expecting all kind of like, spooky places and cool monsters and whatnot. But this fic sure focused on an awful lot of talking and walking. Disappointing. (Not that that's the fault of your mission at all, Iximaz, just, wow. Wild.)

But that made your agents stand out even more! I love literally all the dialogue you wrote between Charlotte and Ix; they have such an easygoing, flirty familiarity to their banter, and it reminds me to never attempt any romance writing, because wow, that is beyond me, I think. They're super-cute together and the care they feel for each other is so plain in every exchange. Makes for an excellent reversal of whatever kind of relationship is supposed to be going on between Belmont and Your Name Here, Esquire in the fic, too. Two characters "having chemistry" isn't supposed to mean they're constantly fuming and blowing up . . . Anyway, what I liked the most was that Ix had been hiding Castlevania from Charlotte out of worry that the content would make her uncomfortable. That kind of quiet thoughtfulness for the partner reminds me of my mom and dad, actually.

Typos? (Language warning, if anyone other than Iximaz bothers to read my typo lists!??!?!)

This first is a consistency thing, although it depends on whether there's a difference between "arse" and "ass." I don't actually know myself, I always thought they were interchangeable. But anyway, at one point, Ix says, "'Real classy, slapping arses without consent.'" But later, Ix says, ". . . Trevor’s dragged her sorry ass outside . . ." Just wanted to point it out in case it wasn't intentional.

"'All she’s done is copy canon and pissed off Trevor.'"
"Pissed" should be "piss" there, to match the tense of "copy" earlier.

"'He really doesn’t seem too fond of her, does she?'"
Mr. Belmont swapping genders mid-dialogue, there!

—doctorlit had SSBU Castlevania remixes stuck in his head the whole time

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