Subject: "Nazgul are people of dubious aliveness who tend to be very much sword happy. I'm not exactly one,
Author:
Posted on: 2022-05-09 19:25:53 UTC
but kind of. The rest of them like to use me for practicing on, on account of me running away and refusing to help them find the Baggins."
Welcome, one and all, to the Sue-Off RP! You will have one Sue (or Stu) each, and be able to play a selection of other Suvians as well.
Nienor—TheBefuddledBookworm
Danisha Wood—K.n.Shirayuki
Rick Evans—Sierpinksi
And I, Linstar, will take Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way
Free Sues: * Saibankannokami Takara Kishimoto * Reicheru
Rules:
*Don’t kill off someone else’s Suvian.
*Feel free to include any of your agents or free Suvian.
*If someone wants to join mid-game, they may. Just say so in the sign-up post.
*Don't insult the authors of these characters.
*Be kind in your parodies.
*Have fun!
The Bloodflower grabbed his Dues ex Flowera devise and used it 2 sennd the Sues bacj.
“Whew” said Makesthings, “ that was—“
He was interrupted by a pair of Agents, who had arrived to slay the PPC badfic....
The End!
is an out-of-universe nickname for her, if you see what I mean. Plays on the word baka which means a range of things from "idiot" to "asshole"))
((This is the framing for the whole story))
The Bloodflower Official sighed. Ever since he’d taken over his twin brother’s organization and become King if the PPC and made the Sub Rosa fall in love with him, he was bored.
But then.......he had an idea! He would take all the Sues and force them to fight to the death! That way, he could satisfy his thirst for Sue blood.
“Makesthings!” he said. “Make all the Sues fight to the death!”
Ok said Makesthings. Then....he did!
AN: is it good?
((Actual author’s note: Is it good?))
The time: HST 2022
The place: Some undefined location composed entirely of Generic Matter
The situation: Judge Claude Frollo's Post-Modern Nubian Goddess finds herself in an unknown place. Read on…
The healthily plump and curvy New World lady of luscious dark caramel brown sugar wild honey molasses skin looked warily around, mind lost in an ellipsis-ridden internal monologue. If everything went according to plan, she would be in 14th-century Paris, shashaying through the streets in anachronistic skanky clothing, feeding modern American food to a medieval Frenchman, then embarking on a night of love and passion with a pious man whose religious code forbade him from having sex. Instead, she landed in this unknown place, surrounded by a crowd that put the wildest Festival of Fools to shame.
Whatever happened, she must get out of here and into the arms of her beloved Judge Claude Frollo.
((That description is urpletastic!))
are actually used in the fics to describe the Sues at regular intervals, though not all of them in one sentence))
She lept of the flower and esked her. "Were are we? Hu r u?"
with obvious disdain. This garishly dressed female with multicolored hair screams "airhead"; clearly not Claude's type. Good thing he wasn't there, or Danisha might have to witness yet another bimbo drooling over Her Man. It only makes perfect sense, considering she was aware and accepting of her being the 14th in a harem of about thirty of his Secret Mistresses, and she brutalized Esmeralda for refusing to get together with him.
Hi Im Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way and Im nut a Maru Sue!111 One day while I was wearinf white foundation wif black lipstick and a red corset that said mcr on it (AN: If u dont kno hu dey r den [CENSORED] of!111) and a black leather miniskirt with pentagrams on it. I look just like Amy Lee (if u dnt kno hr denj ur a prep) and then I was in a fancy efface where this big red flower was.
"OMFS!!" I said. [That's "Orange Mints Fight Staleness."] "What the [BLEEP] am i doing here?"
"Ur here bcoz ur a Marie Sue!!" said a pnik flower. What a preppy color! N den...I atack the flower because it's a prep. But It doesn't have any blood!!!"
What will happed next?
((And...that's my imitation of My Immortal. Yes, "Mary Sue" itself is misspelled.))
Since you invented pnik, I believe that you have the right to make up a hideous description for how it looks.
And yeah, My Immortal spelling is so bad, this page exists.
And pnik, in fact, has its own wiki page! [Created by me.]))
Rick appeared in a flash of awesome light, flourishing his katana as he looked at the big flower in front of him. Where was his crowd of adoring women? It'd been ten seconds without affirmation, ten seconds far too long. He flourished his katana, sending lightning and fire shooting from it to be intimidating, and then pointed it at the flower.
"Where's the women!?"
"MAKESTHINGS WHAT DID YOU DO!!! he said. "The Seus are supposed to be in the arena not my office now there running around headquarters! " THen he ran into the Dosat room.
Makesthings the mini-agent sighed. He wasn't even the real Makes-Things. How was he supposed to know what the bloodflower wanted?
And hten....the Bloodflower used his majic Flower Powers to become invincible!!!
((I'd like to get rid of Bloodflower myself, but feel free to do whatever you want with Makesthings or any other characters.))
Rick looked around, and noticed two women. After taking time to describe their exact breast sizes to himself and remark that they were blandly cute, he approached them, absolutely certain that he was going to engage in the horizontal waltz soon enough. Sure, they sparkled, but didn't he do that here too?
After folding Paper Mario and somehow making every character more cardboard than canon, Rick knew he was going to have his desires fulfilled here - he was the chosen one, after all.
"What the [DELETED] is wrong wif u [REMOVED] prep!11" she said.
Then she ran of to go sadly bloody tears of joy with all her gottik friends.
How dare this brazen specimen try to hit on Minister Frollo's Post-Modern New World Brown-Sugared Aphrodite Diva Lady? With her trademark annoying sass, she told Rick, NOTICE FROM THE FORMLESS NARRATOR: Danisha's vocal chastisement of Rick can't be printed, because it's UNPRINTABLE! The rest is cool, though. :-)
Even being based on a fic character, that outdated level of racial stereotype doesn't belong in this community.
—doctorlit
I'll try showing more of Nisha's ridiculousness without directly quoting the more unsavory bits))
Hang on a minute. This wasn't right. This didn't make any sense at all. Women not instantly falling for Rick? What impossibility, travesty was this? Rick stormed up to Makesthings, the only other man in the room.
"I'M NOT A KID!!" He yelled, the spare exclamation mark flying at hypersonic speeds into Sierpinski's breakfast tomorrow, ruining it, "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
Before giving Makesthings any time to respond, Rick proceeded to grab him with hand by the throat, lifting him up "WHERE IS MINISTER FROLLO!?"
Makesthings squeaked. As he was a mini, he was in serious danger from Rick. "I don't know! Please, I didn't do anything!"
((Poor Makesthings. He's the only sane character.))
She was tall and thin, with straight white hair and red eyes. She was wearing black, somewhat tattered clothes, and a long black cloak.
"Where am I? Who are you?" she asked, looking suspiciously at these people.
"WTF???" [That's "Why The Flamingos?", by the way.] Ebony shooted. "Get out off my way u strupid prep!111"
"I'm not a prep," she replied. "And I'm not stupid, either, if that's what you meant." Nienor had no idea where she was, but since there were no other Nazgul to bash her up for rebelling against them and Sauron, she saw no reason to get out of the way of this hollering, scantily-dressed person who couldn't even spell stupid right.
“If u dont know hu mcr are then ur a prep.” She paused. “Do yu lime Hot Topic?”
She polled out her wound. "Crookshanks!111" she shooted.
There was blood all over Ebony. Nienor wondered if she noticed this.
Crookshanks somehow lept out of one of Ebony's wounds. It jumped onto Nienor's head and started scratching her.
Badfic voice
Enoby loafed meanly. Den she saw...Morty McFli! And his Blak tim machine!11
It didn't work.
The box had "tim" written on it in large letters.
"This will help u go frowad in tim," he said. Then he dusappeared.
Egogy frowned. The tim macnine looked just like an ipod. Then...it disappeared too!
"U did dis!" she said 2v Niemoh.
((Ow. My eyes. What did I just type?))
Now that the "tim machine" was gone, there was no way she could get out of there and go see Her Man Claude Frollo.
please make her do so. If she can make Ebony act out of character, all the better.))
maybe we could get somewhere. I have no idea where we are, but at least there aren't any more Nazgul coming to beat the heck out of me for escaping again." Nienor didn't know what a tim machine was, but she didn't see why it should be scared of her.
"Why would I want to work wif a prep? You probably r in league with Voldermort anyway.!!!11 Enony didn't know what a Nazgull was, but she knew it was preppy.
((The silly thing is, I think that Nazgul could be considered gothic, couldn't they?))
said Evony. "If u don't know what a prep is, then ur a poser! [Hug. She meant hug.] u!111"
((If Nienor explains what the Nazgul are, Ebony might decide she's goff after all.))
but kind of. The rest of them like to use me for practicing on, on account of me running away and refusing to help them find the Baggins."
To put it simply, I'm the victim of a botched execution involving poisonous knives, fire, and generally disgusting details which i won't go into now.. Or something. Maybe it wasn't an execution and I was supposed to end up like this. But I'm not really a human anymore either."
"Do u like 2 drink blood?" She giggled.
"The best thing 2 hav blood with is Count Cholcula. Blud better than milk in it."
"I nu u were really a prep." sh said. Den ahe statred to cry tears of blood.
Why would hating being forced to drink blood make me a prep? You try having my shpxing mess of an unlife!" Nienor was getting annoyed.
((Warning: Bl:1)) "its bcoz u try 2 act goff but really ur just a poser!111" She then started "Every1 is in luv wif me y is my life so hard? Why the [deleted] am I so beautiful?"
....But I’ll do so anyway.
and throwing it at you? That would be a strange death to die."
You haven't done too much besides holler at me, which is not enough reason to kill anyone."
in which case I'm still not in league with him. Do I look like a Death Eater?" she said, rolling up the sleeves of her long black shirt. On her right arm was writing in some language which definitely wasn't English.
((Never mind how she knows what those are now.))
to conquer the world I used to live in, Middle Earth. It's not actually my homeworld though. I was brought there by some sort of magic."
"Im statistic 2. Dat Saurn guy ounds rlly goffik."
((Ow, SPaG bad. No verb.))
She wondered why Ebony thought that Sauron being a nffhole was a good thing. She wasn't sure what Ebony meant by being statistic either.
She drank sum blood n listend 2 sum Mcr on her ipod.
"And huz Soron?"
((In My Immortal, they're called "Death Deelers".))
She glanced over at Danisha.
Ebony said. "Dats y!"
((Ugh. SPaG is HORRIBLE here.))
What kind of world had she fallen into? Was everyone this insane?
(Well, compared to Ebony)
(Which makes me think of Sues as Pokémon. Gotta charge ‘em all!)
said Ebony sadly with bloody tears of goffic sadness.
She couldn't go see Frollo and feed him turkey and pecan pie waah[insert a whole parade of exclamation marks here]
"I'll help you fnnid your frien."
What is the usual thing to do with mini-Boarders?))
Earlay in the mornin'!))
Weigh-hey and up she rises!))