Subject: "That'd be ideal," agreed Lori as she and Bill headed out the Door.
Author:
Posted on: 2022-05-18 15:38:22 UTC
She'd turned off her phone to conserve battery, since the messages were starting to get overwhelming. She had to get Liam. She had to make sure he was okay, and then she could check on all of Liam's friends...
"Think your Uncle Asmodeus could get us out of this pickle?" wondered Bill, tossing a smile back at Meg.
Moving the World Without Suvians RP to its own post so all threads can be in the same place.
So. dramatic trailer guy voice In a world where one agent's wish that all Mary Sues would just disappear came true, a good portion of HQ's denizens of Suvian/badfic origin have all vanished. All continua with Canon Sues in them have also gone missing.
Current disappearences seem to be:
Whether or not a character has disappeared or simply loses Suvian aspects of themselves is up to the writer/Rule of Funny.
Current threads are:
Please make your reply to one of the above threads in this post. Also, for Legal Reasons, this is an AU of the PPC and thus should not be considered in-continuity.
((It is now located here!))
((-kA))
I'm personally quite busy for the next couple of weeks, and anyone else involved in the upcoming Gathering June 11-12 probably doesn't want to be thinking about travel plans and an election at the same time, either. Perhaps we could set the formal nomination-election process to start Friday, June 17?
~Neshomeh
I’m just a bit overeager because more PGs=someone will be able to look over my Permission Request sooner.))
We do still have a RP Board bouncing around as a place to hold long RP threads. It wasn't ever mandatory or so anythin, but it is might be useful to dust off in situations where a long RP threads is threatening to push everything now it off the front page.
I actually meant to ping you about the RP board. Could we perhaps get a link to it somewhere up in the headers? I'm not sure exactly where, but maybe with the second bullet about the Board being where you are right now? So:
> The Board is where you are right now! There is an FAQ: The Board to help you learn to use it. We also have an Other Board for role-play threads.
Or maybe a separate bullet below that and above the PPC Lounge one?
Also, I guess the T-Board is the Other Board now, because if we call it the T-Board then new people will look at it and say "what the heck is a T-Board? can I have scones with that?", but if we call it the Other Board then everyone will understand what we mean. And we can still have scones if we want to. {= )
~Neshomeh
The header literally takes up an entire screen on my laptop already, and every effort I made in the ~5 years prior to the Board moving was to slim it down. Adding another link to somewhere that you'll only need to go if it's discussed on the Board first seems unnecessary. (And, from past experience, people will post over there to say "let's have an RP!" and then be distressed that nobody replies.)
Unrelatedly, a change that definitely needs making is the TOS link, which should be switched to this one; it's still pointing at Tripod right now.
hS
We can make a sticky thread for some of the stuff that's currently in the header - things like links helpful for newbies but that don't need to show up every time someone opens the front page.
This could be accomplished by someone with Nameless Admin powers making a post and setting the sort timestamp far into the future so it never falls of the front page.
(I'd probably need to go adjust the "Latest posts" page to filter out said sticky if that happens)
Said post could also be locked to stop people replying to it.
We can just have one link on the main Board, and it could say “Further links here” or something.
Wouldn’t that reduce unnecessary space usage?
—Ls))
On the main page of the wiki. It goes over some of the same stuff as the header here in more detail. It wouldn't be a problem to add information about the Discord and the RP Board. A link from the Board saying "read this, it's important stuff" might get people to actually, y'know, read it, too. {= )
~Neshomeh
Just one link here, and a full set of links there. Definitely think it makes sense to do that.
—Ls
Whether or not we change anything here, at least the RP Board is now easier to find than before. {= )
~Neshomeh
((It can be done. I've been keeping track of all (or almost all) the threads in the doc (look under "World Without Suvians" header). It won't be that hard to select the newest posts, make an RP post based off of Lily's, and post it to the RP Board. The only difficultly would be redirecting everyone over there.))
((-kA))
If I bother with signing up again, I think I’ll give Alberta something else to do. And maybe throw in some more characters.))
One: You have to sign up for the RP Board separately, which is REALLY a pain if you haven’t done so already. That’s why I haven’t suggested its use before.
Two: One the main page of this Board, the sentence: “There is an FAQ: The Board to help you learn to use it” needs a period at the end like the other sentences.
—Nitpicking courtesy of Ls))
I mean, I know you had trouble signing up here, but so far you're the only one to have reported an experience like that. All you should have to do to sign up for the Other Board is plug in the same username, email, and password as here. It's a small price to pay to keep our backup space secure and spam-free, IMO.
~Neshomeh
But I may have exaggerated a bit in the last post. Oh well.))
((It might be because I pasted my email, thinking I had a regular email copied (I didn't; I had one of those "throw-away" duck.com address) and thought it would work, but it doesn't. I got redirected to a page that says, "We're sorry, but something went wrong." and not getting the email confirmation. I attempt to have the system resend it, and it keeps redirecting me to the aforementioned page. It might've been the same issue Ls was (and probably is now) having, might not. I'm not for sure.))
((I know my username and email are now in the system (it recognizes Kittyauthor as "taken"), but it's not sending the email.))
((-kA, who is frustrated at the RP Board and tech, not at any specific person))
Since the whole point of having signups is to prevent spam.
Whatever the case, I'm sure Tomash will be able to help.
~Neshomeh
So it’s not just the throwaway email that’s the issue. I could try yahoo, but given that was the reason I had trouble signing up with this Board, it might not work either.))
((Just a thought. I did try signing up with my VPN on...))
((-kA, thinking))
And it fails with my yahoo as well, to my complete lack of surprise.
Hey, oldbies that are already signed up—does it work for you guys?
—Ls))
As for your IP being blocked, it's possible that you could have the misfortune of sharing a location with a persistent spammer or troll that we had to block, but I don't know what the chances are of that. We don't get that many, and the Nameless Admin tries to avoid broad IP blocks for precisely this reason.
A VPN might explain the issue in Kitty's case, though, and Linstar, we already know there's something weird about your network, too. If you ever figure it out, it would help to know.
~Neshomeh
((Do you want me to try and sign up with a different username or just hang tight?))
((-kA))
You haven't inconvenienced me or anyone else besides yourself! Anyway, I'm only guessing at what's happening. You should definitely wait for Tomash to take a look and let us know what things actually look like under the hood, so to speak.
~Neshomeh
I'm currently looking into the issue.
The people that the Other Board was using to send emails changed how you're supposed to log in to theri email server (which was a perfectly reasonable change on their part, but I wasn't exactly informed of it, hence ... suddenly signing up doesn't work).
I've now switched the Other Board over to something working.
Lilly, OrangeFox, and Linstar, you should've all gotten your "Welcome to the Board" emails.
KittyAuthor, since you mentioned not wanting the temporary email, I've taken the liberty of deleting that account so you can sign in again.
Well, I’ll just use the Linstar one to avoid confusion.))
((HONK!))
((If there is a way to change it but keep the same user, I'm all for it! I meant to use my gmail account lol.))
((-kA))
"If you're not picky about whether or not the hot water turns on, I could direct you to the locker rooms near RC F? Fair warning, though, they probably haven't been used since the mid-aughts. Newer RCs usually have ensuites."
((Reply to Bookworm's reply, just to prevent the thread down there from getting too cluttered.
And yes, that's a reference to Jay being delighted at hot water showers at OFUM.))
Before she came to HQ, Boadicea had spent a while in the caves on her homeworld. Some of that water was too cold to drink, let alone wash with. She'd steeled herself and jumped in though when she couldn't stand to smell herself anymore, but she had to get out in three seconds flat. And then she got down to the Underworld where it was quite literally as hot as hell and then -- No! We're not thinking about that! What if he sees? She walked faster. It wasn't my fault! I couldn't have done anything, but he's still dead... She bumped into a door, and yelped.
"Is this it?" she asked Neo.
He pulled back and started plucking webs out of his hair. "That's the one," he said, a little apologetic. The smell of drain cleaner and old shampoo hit him like a wall of chemicals. "I... probably wouldn't use anything lying around in the stalls, on account of them probably having been there for about two decades. You got any of your own toiletries on ya?"
... I guess I'll just have to do with cold water."
"Or we could swing by the General Store and get you something," he pointed out. "Pretty sure they sell toiletries and food."
I was trying to get home after I got into a fight with the Wall of Flesh, but the hole dumped me into a corridor, and here I am."
"Tell me more. Why were you fighting this Wall of Flesh in the first place?"
Shpx. Now it comes back to bite me, she thought. Here goes. "I was in the Underworld, making a bridge to stand on so I could get from one tower to the next without getting in the lava. I was looking for treasure. There's some useful stuff to be found down there. There's some pretty tough monsters, too. I was getting near the end of the world, when one of those flying devil things attacked me. I killed it, and then I heard something drop. Not coins. It sounded different. Then I heard screams. It was Seth screaming, and I don't know how he got there. He reached out to me but I wasn't fast enough and then it came and I didn't have time to think about him because then it tried to kill me and I had to fight... I won."
Helmet-hair's story sounded sad, but a lot of HQ denizens had similar sad stories! Poor kid must have had it pretty rough, camping out with that memory in their head. Maybe he could convince Leto to give them some chocolate in addition to the food and the toiletries --
Wait. Neo groaned as he realised he'd been thinking about their destination. HQ immediately picked up on that, and the corridors shifted.
((Leaving the new location open for you to decide where they've gone! Just can't be the General Store, ahah.))
She was relieved that Neo didn't seem to be mad.
"Wait, where are we?"
"I accidentally thought about where we were supposed to go, and now we're not where we need to go! So quick, distractions -- favourite food colour? Favourite pastime from your homeworld? Favourite shiny object?"
"If you'd rather not talk about yourself, what else do you wanna talk about?"
"I've told you some of my story, but I was scared. Scared that you'd hate me or lock me up or something. But people here aren't like that, are they? My world... my world's a mess. Every day I had to fight monsters or die trying." She thought her voice sounded rusty, but talking made her feel better. She stopped so sudddenly that Neo nearly bumped into her.
"Is this it?" she asked him.
((You can find it here.))
"You gotta talk to me, helmet-hair, or else we'll never get where we're supposed to go. How'd you get here?"
"Gone?" Noman asked, his yellow eye seeming unusually mechanical and distant today.
"Gone, all of 'em," Winfrey said through a tight beak, clicking a few buttons on the console, "in canon, in fanfic, even here."
"We don't have any real Sues here?" Noman wondered.
"Anything. All of it. Reformed Sues, Canon Sues, Reboot Sues, they just disappeared last night."
"Wh-what?!" Noman asked, "isn't this-"
"Amazing!?" Winfrey cheered, "Look! I go now, and Star Wars Episode Seven isn't trash! There's Han, Luke, and Leia all together! There's something amazing! I flip now, look, Edward Cullen actually has some serious issues that are acknowledged! It's a miracle! Good media! Nothing but! It's a miracle!"
"B-but..." Noman trailed off, holding a finger up, "...what about us, Winfrey?"
Winfrey's cheering stopped suddenly at Noman's question, and she turned to face him fully.
"Huh? Well, we're fine. We have-"
"No, Winfrey. What about us? What do we do now?"
"We celebrate!" Winfrey blurted, smiling and trying to get back into the triumphant mood.
"And then what?"
"I... uh... I don't know?" Winfrey asked, getting up from the Console and brushing herself off, "I think the SO would know. If anyone'd know, he'd probably know, right? Hey, Noman, get back here!"
Noman made it to the door and pulled hard, straining. His strength was still limited, and the door went nowhere. While Winfrey walked to him, Noman sat on the floor and started to think.
He was a PPC Agent. That was his duty, his sacred task, what his partner had... given everything for, Noman corrected his mind. What was he? What was he without an enemy, a target? Final victory seemed like the horizon - always there and to be marched towards, but never to be reached.
Now what?
Now what would he do? Noman asked himself. Now what was he? He'd built his whole life on being a DMS Agent. Now there was no DMS anymore.
Was this emotion he was feeling, what was it? Was it... fear?
"Noman?" Winfrey asked, kneeling next to him, "you okay?"
"N-no, Winfrey... I don't feel so good..."
My reply can be found here.))
I've been trying to think of how to interact with this thread myself, but a) most of my characters got Poofened, and b) it's tricky to see people on the other side of a door. {= )
~Neshomeh
I mean, Sier didn’t explicitly say it wasn’t open, so I’m just rolling with it being so. And if you need a character, another oldbie who can play M-T would be appreciated. ))
Derik and Gall had just geared up for their next mission when it happened. Derik pushed the button to activate a portal to the fic, but instead of getting one, he got a noise he'd never heard from the console before.
[BRRRRRT]
"What the...?" He pushed the button again.
[BRRRRRT]
He turned around in confusion. "Gall, have you ever—? Gall?"
She wasn't where he'd last seen her standing, or anywhere else in the main room. She wasn't in the bathroom, either; he could see through the open door.
Now Derik was annoyed. "Gall! What are you playing at?"
No answer. The RC was completely quiet.
Completely quiet.
It was never completely quiet.
The hair on the back of his neck prickled when he looked at Fellrazer's fire-proof ceramic platform. The dragon wasn't there. He'd been right there, settled down to nap while his mistress would be away.
"If this is some kind of prank, it isn't funny!" Derik called, but doubt gnawed at him. How could Gall have vanished both herself and her dragon just like that? Moreover, why?
He checked the bedrooms, just to be sure, but found no sign of his partner or her dragon. Maybe it was him, he thought wildly. Was he dreaming? Was he mad? Had he finally suffered a complete psychotic break?
A now-automatic assessment of his mental state told him otherwise. He was confused and frightened, but he remembered his psychic discipline, saving himself from spiraling into panic. Instead, he reached for calm, and in finding it decided he could try one last way to search for Gall. After all, what good was being an empath if he wouldn't even try to sense the person he was closest to in the world?
Derik was a pathetically weak empath. He hadn't even realized he had the talent until Thoth had pointed it out to him and begun to train him in its use. The training had increased his sensitivity, but his range was still only a few meters at best, just enough to cover a modest room.
He was not prepared for the sheer noise that assailed him when he opened his mind. Joy. Terror. Panic. Wave upon wave crashed down on him from all quarters. Everyone was experiencing something so big even he could feel it.
Closing himself off again, he had his work cut out to get his breathing and heart rate back under control. The panic resonated with him, but he couldn't give in to it.
Something had happened, that much was clear. Something huge.
He suddenly remembered the unusual behavior of the console. How he hadn't immediately connected it with his partner's disappearance, he had no idea. Quickly, he activated the display and was faced with an error log.
Error. Scenario JRR-5455-379-JT-LR-PJ-Q-7819863 not found.
Error. Scenario JRR-5455-379-JT-LR-PJ-Q-7819863 not found.
Derik shook his head. Useless. There was a new message in his ICEP inbox, though. Maybe that would help.
To: [.PPC-HQ]
From: The Tiger Lily [tlliliumcolumbianum.console515.DIA]
Subject: ALL POINTS BULLETIN
To whom it may concern,
Which is all of you,
So pay attention:
As of this message, the Department of Internal Affairs and Department of External Security have received numerous reports of unusual incidents in and around Headquarters, including technological malfunctions, vanished or transfigured property, and disappearances. Thanks to the number of reports, a pattern has rapidly emerged, and we have been able to verify that all Suvians and former Suvians are gone, and so too are worlds and beings born of their direct influence.
The end of Sue-kind is a day long dreamed of by the Canon Protection Initiative. Naturally, we are quite suspicious of this miraculously sudden and complete victory, but we do not believe Headquarters is under attack. Please rest assured, Captain Dandy and I are aware of your concerns and are investigating the cause or causes of this miracle with all due seriousness and vigor. At this time, we are not prepared to release a statement as to said cause or causes.
To aid in the investigations of the DIA and DES, please stay put and remain calm. Since we know this is very difficult for you, we have taken the precaution of engaging the locks on all response center doors. This is for your own good, so don't whine about it. If you wish to contribute actual information, you may address it to [circular.console3.14159z653589t9323846.DIA]. We promise not to auto-delete your messages. For now.
The Tiger Lily
Head of Department
Department of Internal Affairs
(( ... Okay, I've spent two hours on this now, and I need to go to bed. How about I leave it there and you can tell me if that message from the Tiger Lily is okay before I go on with how Derik takes it? ^_^;
(( FYI, the "scenario" number is made of the continuum identification code proposed for The Lord of the Rings (see the article Talk page), "LR" for Lord of the Rings, "PJ" for the Peter Jackson movieverse, "Q" for Quotev, and a fic ID. It's a real LotR Suefic I recently stumbled across and added to the Unclaimed Badfic list. To be clear, I don't plan to claim it. It's classic stuff, though!
~Neshomeh ))
Derik reread the message several times, unable to fully absorb its meaning in one go. It sank in bit by bit: The Sues were gone. All of them, and all their works, too. That explained the portal's failure to open: the generator couldn't target a fic that no longer existed.
But what about Gall and Fellrazer? "Disappearances," the message said; they weren't the only ones. But Gall wasn't a Sue, not even a reformed one; she'd been the bully to her fic's Sue.
"Beings," the message had mentioned "beings," too, "born of their direct influence." Did that mean anyone who had been a character in a Suefic? But that couldn't be right, because that would include himself, and he was still here. Maybe—he hardly dared hope—maybe that meant he really had had a life before Alanna? He could remember it in snatches, every piece falling into place as though it had always been there, and he desperately wanted to believe it was real. All the Phantom nonsense that mapped onto him, that he could chalk up to Suvian meddling.
Unless his fears had been correct all along, and his memories were fabrications his mind had spun from the suggestions of the Reality Room. Unlike his partner, he'd blundered his way into one post-recruitment. Could it have scrubbed him so thoroughly clean of Alanna's touch that he had managed to duck whatever was sweeping Headquarters?
He didn't know what to think. This was too much. Gall gone, Sues gone, everyone else born of Suvian influence gone... How many agents was that? How many people did he even know who weren't from a badfic?
Well, Thoth, for one. At least, as far as he knew. Surely his friend would have mentioned it by now; they'd spoken of origins often enough. Yes, Thoth would be all right. He must be.
And Su wasn't from a fic at all—oh, but Diocletian was a former Sue, wasn't she? And Ithalond and Mithiriel came from one of the most notorious Suefics of all. Their daughter Alwaen had been born in Headquarters, though. Was she safe?
What about Gadrik?
The thought of his own three-year-old son sent Derik into a panic he couldn't stop, and his shame at not having thought of him immediately added fuel to the fire. Gadrik was in the Nursery, where he was supposed to be safe, but there was no guarantee of that anymore. Derik had to go see him, right now.
His heart just about stopped when he tugged on the door and couldn't open it, but then he remembered the Tiger Lily's message had said they'd locked the doors, to keep people from getting in the way of security's investigations. Well, that was fine and dandy for them. The DIA had their job to do, Derik had his.
And he had a sledgehammer.
(( Next time, the Nursery! Lily, if you want C&E to get there first, that's fine with me. Otherwise, if you don't mind waiting a bit longer, I have a bit I can do with Derik before they show up when I next get a chance. Whichever!
(( For the record (mostly mine), Ithalond and Mithiriel having a kid is something Tungsten Monk intended to happen, but nothing has been written about that yet. Derik's train of thought made me think of her, and nothing would do but I had to come up with a name. Two, actually. Derik calls her by her father-name, Alwaen, which means "unstained" and is pronounced all-wine. Seems like the kind of thing Ithalond would both see in and wish for his daughter. Her mother-name is Muichiril, "Lady of Cats," and is pronounced mwee-kiril. She is destined to take up a Hermione-like crusade against the Cats Are Evil trope and care for all the felines of HQ. ^_^ Many thanks for hS for helping me with the Sindarin and giving me the idea for her future, should this become canon.
~Neshomeh ))
(( ETA: finishing a sentence I forgot about. ))
Once Derik had thought of his son, he couldn't stop thinking about him. He had to reach the Nursery, and so that was just where he couldn't get, nohow—and even Samwise Gamgee's Elvish rope wouldn't have helped if he'd had it. One false turn even led him to a bog of sorts, seemingly comprised of every wet sock that had ever gone missing from the wash and a bare, broken brass bedstead sticking up incongruously from the middle. Derik thought he could see people shoveling squelching heaps of socks away on the opposite shore, but he didn't stand there long enough to be sure.
A short time later, he nearly despaired when there was a flicker, as of a guttering torch, and he was plunged into darkness. Fortunately not total darkness: after a few moments, he could make out a faint luminescence ahead of him. The corridor that had just been open was now a wall of rock with moisture trickling down its face, and something on it glowed. It was a cold comfort. A quick turn showed that the passage behind him was similarly blocked, leaving him in a segment of hallway no more than two dragonlengths from end to end. The Generic Surface walls joined seamlessly with the natural stone. He tried the doors leading off the hall, feeling his way along, but of course they were locked, and he'd left his hammer behind.
Luckily, it wasn't long before there was a second flicker, better light returned (though not so good as before), and the corridor sprang open again. Good enough. Derik wasted no time running onward, and the experience left him so shaken and baffled about what had just happened that he stopped thinking about his destination long enough to get there.
There was no one in the Nursery's reception area when he entered. "Hello?" he called, fear that he wouldn't get an answer making him hesitant. But that was insane. Of course no one would answer if they couldn't hear him! Next time, he put all his Harper training behind it and let off a bellow that rang in his own ears: "AHOY THE NURSERY!"
And someone came. A harried-looking woman marched from a door to the right, glaring at him. "Don't shout!" she hissed. "Things are bad enough without—"
Another time, Derik might have been more sympathetic to the position she was in. As it was, he grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a shake. "Where's my son?"
The next thing he knew, he was doubled up in agony, clinging to the woman to keep from collapsing. Since she had just kneed him solidly in the voonerables and wasn't feeling at all sorry about it, she shoved him off, too.
After a moment spent writhing on the floor and deciding whether or not he was going to throw up, Derik checked to see if she was still there. She stood over him with her arms folded expectantly.
Derik sighed. "I think, perhaps, we might have got off on the wrong foot?"
"Oh? You think?"
"Urg," said Derik by way of agreement. He rolled carefully to his knees and gingerly got back to his feet from there. He didn't ask for help, and none was offered. He sighed again and wiped his tears off his face. "I'm Derik. I'm here for my son, Gadrik. Can you please—please—take me to him?"
The woman let him hang for a moment before she sighed, too, and let her arms fall. She passed a hand over her eyes. "Gadrik... I think... yes, I think so. Come with me." She started toward the door at the back of reception. "Christine, by the way. Sorry I kneed you so hard, but you shouldn't grab people."
Derik had a purely instinctive start at her name, but scolded himself against reading anything into it. "I know," he said. "I'm sorry, too. It's just..."
"I know. Believe me, I know."
A short hallway opened onto the Nursery common area, an enormous space with the back half devoted to wildly imaginative playground equipment, not currently in use. Christine turned left and took him to a corner of the front half of the room, where a number of children were seated at tables or on a couch in front of a screen where some cartoon was playing, overseen by a tall bean plant in a blazer with elbow patches. They barely seemed to fill just one corner of this place.
Derik stopped short of the scene. A lump formed in his throat. "Is this all of them?"
Christine turned back and looked at him with sympathy for the first time. "Apart from a couple of babies I was just checking on. Benjamin is still doing room checks, but... And it's just the three of us left: Me, Ben, and the Prof."
"Oh, shells." Derik couldn't let himself think about it any further. He shook his head and gave a sniff before crossing the rest of the way to the pitiful group. "Gadrik?" he called softly, casting about desperately for a certain curly-haired head. "Gadrik?"
And at a low table covered with coloring paper and crayons, one child looked up with the most beautiful blue eyes in the world. "Dada?"
Derik dropped to his knees, not entirely of his own volition. "Gaddie!"
Gadrik beamed and ran to his father's waiting arms. Derik clutched him tight, kissed his hair, and tried not to cry too noisily.
Gadrik was quickly over it. This was very weird behavior for the father who mostly tended to keep himself at a cautious arm's length. The boy squirmed until he was let loose. "Dada! Don't 'queeze me!"
"Sorry, Gaddie." Derik kept one hand on his shoulder and cupped his cheek with the other. His face was shaped like Gall's. He had her eyes. The resemblance smote his heart. He couldn't stop crying. "Sorry," he said again, and laughed at the absurd inadequacy of himself.
Quite reasonably alarmed, Gadrik pulled all the way away. "Stoppit. I want Mama."
Derik knew this moment would come, and he was completely unprepared for it. In the midst of a struggle to keep from completely losing his grip, all he could do was gape like a fish and shake his head.
Rescue of a sort came in the form of a fair little girl with straight, dark hair and gray eyes: Alwaen, Ithalond and Mithiriel's daughter. She took Gadrik's hand and looked at Derik with more understanding than any seven-year-old had a right to do. "She's not coming, is she, Agent Derik? And my nana and ada—they can't come either, can they?"
Unsure what he should say, Derik looked around for guidance from Christine or Professor Beans, but Christine was gone and the Plant just shrugged its vines at him.
I've been here since all this started, said Beans, just trying to keep everyone calm while the others sort things out.
"Well," said Derik, feeling he had better say something quickly. That didn't go anywhere, so he tried again. "Well... not right now. Something has happened, and it seems like a lot of people have gone away. But—" He tried very hard to inject a note of positivity into his voice. "But I'm here, and I will look after you until we get them back. Both of you. And we will get them back. I promise." And he smiled, knowing he would either make that promise come true or die trying.
OKAY SO that was a lot. It kinda morphed under me as I was writing, but here we are! All ready for C&E to come in! {X D
Some notes on references in the first part:
Dialogue between Sam and Frodo on the way to Mordor, before they meet Gollum: "What a fix!" said Sam. "[Mordor]'s the one place in all the lands we've ever heard of that we don't want to se any closer; and that's the one place we're trying to get to! And that's just where we can't get, nohow. We've come the wrong way altogether, seemingly. We can't get down; and if we did get down, we'd find all that green land a nasty bog, I'll warrant. Phew! Can you smell it?"
Janitorial Division Shift Twentieth, probably, doing the shoveling.
The bit of corridor Derik gets trapped in when the power goes off, deactivating the portal network that links HQ together, is deep underground in the 1959 film adaptation of Journey to the Center of the Earth, which features bioluminescent algae.
And that's it, I'm not writing any more posts that need footnotes. Jeez!
Also, I think how elf aging works is that they physically mature at about the same rate as humans, and generally have better senses/faculties than a human child of a similar age, but they aren't considered adults in the sense of needing to take up responsibilities and whatnot for very much longer. But I'm not sure. So we'll just see how this goes. {X D
~Neshomeh
I'm a big girl. It's weird. {= P And it balloons the thread for no good reason, too. For that reason, no reply to this is necessary.
~Neshomeh
((I think all I would have said has been said by Lily already lol.))
((-kA))
(This is unrelated to the RP.)
(I found that the Elemental Generations page has been re-created, as has this page and both need deletion. Unfortunately, Kotoyumei seems not to have understood that the they need Permission to create an agent page. Both Nesh and I have already informed them of this. I'm not sure what I can do here. Community discussion?)
((While the rest of the Board of Department Heads hasn't done all that much--at least what I wrote for them. Also, great job! I'm impressed by the amount of time you put into this. Have one of Salvador Dali's melting clocks.))
((- Ls))
((Since there were some differences in earlier threads about the wherefores of locking people into their RCs, this explanation makes a lot of sense -- it's not so much quarantining like it was for the Macrovirus as it is to keep people in place so an investigation can be conducted. Of course, the DIA'll have their hands full trying to corral the folks in the Cafeteria, haha.))
((Looking forward to seeing how Derik is handling things!))
((A continuation of this thread.))
All Suvians were dead and the Flowers expected him to stay in his RC? As if! He needed to celebrate with the other agents! Pity Mina was gone, but--so were all the Sues! This was the greatest thing ever!
He grabbed Mina's lightsaber and used it to cut through the locked doors of the RC.
A [BLEEPSTOPITRIGHTNOWBLEEP!] came from the console.
Carlisle ignored it and ran out into the hallway. "ALL THE SUES ARE DEAD!!!!!"
“Former agent too, huh?”
“Yup!” Jade enthusiastically confirmed. “Spent a couple years in that thing, and then I met Edelweiss.” She smiled. “Official story is she killed me and stole my RA, I’ve heard.”
“Oh, nice.” The woman with the white hair and the leather jacket stirred her unreasonably large cup of coffee, and continued in her unplaceable accent. “My exit was a mess – bit of a spur of the moment kinda thing. My partner tried to kill some literal child, and one thing led to another, and now I bet all the shpxin’ weeds in the multiverse know–”
“– my face.”
Rose Rooibos, More Or Less Unaffiliated Multiverse Traveler(tm), was used to weird stuff; everyone who could find their way to Goldie's Coffee Shop was, and there was already some level of weirdness inherent to meeting your girlfriend’s girlfriend. The girl disappearing in a puff of smoke, though? Now that was weird fuvg. And she hadn't been planning for weird fuvg today.
Time to assess the situation. The conversations behind her had stopped; standing up and looking back confirmed that, save for another astonished patron, everyone else was gone. So, either a targeted attack on the café for some reason, or…
The silence was broken by a stream of notification sounds from her bag, as well as from the other survivor’s pocket. Something much more widespread, then. Rose pulled the phone out, just in time for the first of what was likely to be many calls.
She didn’t waste any time. “I’m alive.”
A pause. “Jade's gone too. Who else?”
A longer pause. “Got it. Don’t do anything until we agree on a plan. Talk to you later.”
She hung up, and checked a few of the texts for good measure, which confirmed her hunch. Finally, she looked up, staring at the person she recognized as a regular of the café.
“Shpxin’ uryy, they’ve finally done it.”
((Another perspective on the situation. Feel free to drop in anyone with a reason not to currently be in HQ, or to come up with a character. To clarify, Jade got poofed, I just wanted to go for a bit of a bait and switch.))
((It's a coffee shop Au. Get it?))
There was a pop and then silence. “Here we are!” Meg said cheerfully, not at all affected by the dizzying shadows and creepy whispering.
As Rose turned to the newcomers, she paused, and eyed them for a moment. Then, wordlessly, she pulled out her wand.
"Alice." She didn't turn away, but the girl cleaning the bar behind her reacted. "Red button above the sink, now."
As a red light started flashing behind the counter, Rose continued, wand firmly pointed at the PPC agents.
"Gimme one reason not to kill you."
[New messages:]
goldiebot: EMERGENCY — Hostile invasion reported at Goldie's Coffee Shop. Urgent help needed!
“Because I’m immortal and you can’t?” She shoved her messy hair back out of her face. “Actually, we could use your help. All of the Suvians have disappeared, includin’ our colleagues and we wanna know why.”
Eventually, she lowered her wand, and spoke.
"Alice, press that button again, it'll cancel the alarm. Are you seriously telling me y'all weren't involved in this?"
Alice, a teenage girl with long black hair, chimed in: "We kind of assumed it was some PPC superweapon."
goldiebot: Situation sorted! Probably. Good luck out there!
"PPC Superweapon? Goodness, what do you guys take us for?"
Lori nudged him. "The De-Glitterifier looked a bit like a WMD before it broke, didn't it?" she whispered.
"It's not like we planned to roll that out and point and shoot at anyone who looked particularly Glittery," grumbled Bill.
Rose gestured at the mostly empty café. "No one else out there really gives a fuvg about Suvians these days. If we're looking for someone with a motive to, ya know..." She snapped her fingers. "It's really just you and maybe the OFUs."
Alice pondered: "So, if you say it wasn't you..."
"I believe that," Rose continued. "Y'all'd be bragging about it all over the place. But others might be more skeptical."
As she spoke, a yellowish portal opened behind her, and two people exited it with weapons ready. Alice promptly put herself between them and the group, mumbling an apology about the false alarm.
Rose smirked. "Well, I say that's just about enough to start the emergency what-the-shpx's-going-on meeting. Have a seat, everyone."
"I think we should stay for this meeting," said Lori, her voice uncertain, "but if people are going to be blaming the PPC for something we didn't do..."
"I want ice cream!" chirped Liam.
"You just had a quince pie," Bill pointed out.
"Meetings are boring," complained Liam. "Ice cream is more fun!"
This put a smile on Rose's face as she replied: "Well, I don't think that'll be a problem as long as we cooperate, and cooperating won't be a problem if you're tellin' the truth, right?"
((Let's wait for Scarlett here, I guess.))
"Le Cagou never has it. Mama brings it back from anime worlds. It's the best flavour ever!"
((Yeah, just replying to the ice cream thing! And that's a real ice cream flavour. Baskin Robbins is really good in Japan.))
“You have ice cream? Can I get some?”
"So..." Rose sighed. "Shpx, now I want ice cream too. We'll deal with that later. For now... What does everyone know so far?"
One of the handful of people who had just arrived chimed in, their tone flat: "Anyone who could have been considered outright Suvian by PPC standards, at any point in their life, has disappeared."
"Including people from World One," Rose confirmed, "if they got OP enough out there."
The newcomer nodded, and continued: "That leaves most of our community here missing, possibly dead. We assumed the PPC was involved, obviously, and were about to plan a counterattack..."
"... But then y'all showed up, and told us you were just about as confused as we are. Now, what do you know, and what's going on in HQ right now?"
while Liam followed Alice into the kitchen to help look for ice cream.
"What we know is that Suvians and people of Suvian origin -- badfic rescues, reformed Sues, and so on -- have all vanished," reported Lori, looking warily around at the assembled. "Since my husband and I," she nodded at Bill, "were one of the few HQ workers who were working on ways to purge Glitter out of Suvians in order to lessen the need for assassination, we knew it couldn't have been us, since our de-Glitterifier broke last year and we haven't restored it to functionality yet."
"Besides, ours has a limited scope," added Bill. "Only one lifeform at a time. Definitely not capable of simultaneous Multiversal de-Glittering."
"And our de-Glitterifier doesn't kill people, it just takes the extra Glitter out of them so they can have a better chance at reforming," continued Lori. "Nor would we want to get rid of already-reformed Suvians and badfic rescues. I mean, the latter are mostly children."
Rose sighed at the remark as she sat down. "Anyway. Looks like we know about as much as you – or as PPC agents do. Technically, it could be some kinda secret program, but..."
Someone else shook their head. "That'd have leaked at some point, and targeting World One humans is explicitly against like, a whole bunch of multiversal treaties."
"Whoever did this –" Rose was holding her head with a hand – "wasn't plannin' to, or at least not with other people. They had, or they got, enough power to do it on this kinda scale..."
"And they're in or adjacent to the PPC," the other completed, "otherwise they wouldn't have any reason to specifically kill Sues."
Rose thought for a while, head firmly planted in her hand. Eventually, she spoke again.
"Disgruntled agent, or somethin' like that, with enough power to instantly kill millions across the multiverse. This is gonna be a fuvgshow."
"Our hypothesis was more along the lines of a Suvian wishing to remove all competition. They are more prone to obtaining the amount of power necessary to pull off such a wish, and are less likely to understand the repercussions of their actions."
"... Worked, I guess." Rose straightened up in her chair. "I'm not sure how to put this, but..."
"Basically, when you're talking about Suvians, there's really two big groups they'll fall into that are relevant here. First," Rose continued as she gestured over the table, "you've got your standard fic-bound characters. The tenth walkers, the Hogwarts kids, whatever. Those, at best, barely know there's anything outside their Words, and they obviously don't consider themselves Sues. If one of 'em made a wish like this, it'd have been to kill anyone more powerful, or more pretty, or whatever they cared about. I don't think that fits what we're seein', with the rescued children and so on."
"Then..." She cringed a little, trying once again not to let too much emotion show. "There's the ones that do think of themselves as Mary Sues." Like Edelweiss. It certainly felt like an exceptionally bad time to mention one's Suvian girlfriend to a PPC agent. "I've... Met a few, over the years, and they'll treat that as a point of pride. I don't really see any of 'em doing this, they think of other Sues as like..." She loved calling them comrades. "Allies, or potential allies, not really as competition. I could be wrong," she concluded, "and I'm certainly biased, but—"
Rose was interrupted by a cry of "We found the ice cream!" Alice had just come back, carrying a cooler and closely followed by Liam. "Sorry for the wait, we got a bit lost. I may or may not have become queen of the walk-in freezer?"
Lori sighed at the sight, and at the meeting getting temporarily derailed via offerings of ice cream to all and sundry. "You'll eat your vegetables after this, right?" she asked her son.
"Nope!" declared Liam. "I'm not six anymore."
"You're still growing," Lori pointed out. "In fact, you'll have plenty more growing to do in the coming years, once you turn thirteen..."
"Pizza's a vegetable, right?" wondered Liam.
She took a bite of her dubiously colored ice cream. “They have charcoal ice cream. Now, what are we supposed to be talkin’ about?”
Rose eyed the pot of stracciatella ice cream set in front of her. She figured she couldn't exactly talk while eating. "We were just gonna try and invade HQ, take some hostages, force them to fix it, something like that. Obviously, that plan's canceled."
A few groans from the audience "I get the frustration, but apparently," Rose replied as she gestured to the PPC agents, "they don't know what's going on either, and they're suspecting some kinda Suvian plot. If we try an' invade, they'll just think it was us and react accordingly."
"So what do we do, then?" Alice's question was echoed by a few of the others.
"Here's my idea." Rose ate a spoonful of her ice cream before continuing. "We all go search for whoever did this. If you can get into PPC HQ without gettin' arrested or whatever, try an' see what the DIA's thinking so far. Everyone else, discuss whatever other ideas you might have, and form groups to investigate 'em. If anyone finds anything, report with everyone else before taking any action. How's that sound?"
Rose turned to the PPCers. "Oh, and if you're still into the Suvian theory, I'll go with y'all. I know a few places we can check."
Neither of them were particularly comfortable with the idea of outsiders trying to infiltrate HQ, particularly if they planned to eavesdrop on the DIA. "Maybe one of us should go with the group trying to investigate the DIA," offered Bill. "Less of a chance of the Security Dandelions getting you if we're there."
"But we'd also like to at least cover our bases with the Suvian theory," added Lori. "I had thoughts of looking through the Mary Sue Factories -- perhaps the... events... haven't affected the Defectives."
"The Factory thing, I mean - well, of course the HQ thing too, but that's a given. Don't think I've got any League contacts, though; I was gonna suggest Sparklee or the Ladies' Academy, but if we can get into one of these instead..."
"Who knows if they're still around, though." She absentmindedly took a bite of Liam's ice cream when he offered it to her.
"So I'll take Liam with me back to HQ," suggested Bill with a gentle hand on her shoulder, "and you can go with Rose to the Factory." He then turned to the demon. "Where're you going?"
((Waiting for Scarlett here!))
“I’ve never been, so might as well.”
Rose nodded. Preserving some level of normalcy was probably a good idea for morale. From her bag, she grabbed a device which looked like an older-generation R.A. attached to a radar gun.
"Well, that's everyone covered then. Coordinates?"
"And also, someone else may need to make the portal to HQ. Meg brought us here, and we don't have portal thingies on us."
Rose fiddled with some dials on hers, and eventually announced: "Alright, ready when you are."
((Thread is here.))
((How long do you think it would take for the news of David and K's arrests to reach the group?))
"So, my sister, she kicked in my door and stole my TV!"
"Just hold on one second, sir."
Corporal Laura Perkins, New Cal DIA, looked down to pull out her notebook and pencil.
When she looked up again, the man was gone.
Laura sighed and went to take a look around. When she went to look out the front door she almost ran into Officer Alice Maywell, her partner. Alice was mumbling something, too low for Laura to make it out.
Laura stepped back and lowered her voice. "Alice. What's going on?"
"I-I don't know! People have started vanishing-it's all gone to b-"
Laura put her hands on Alice's shoulders, gently.
"Alice. You're a police officer. Take a deep breath. I'm going to call dispatch."
She stepped through the doorway, around Alice. Before she could key her radio, though, dispatch beat her to it.
"All units on all frequencies, standby."
Laura had known Radomira for a long time. That was forced calm in her voice.
"Be advised, all Sues have disappeared. Repeat, all Sues, including recruits and canons, have disappeared. Their location is unknown at this time. Uh, standby for further."
Laura paused halfway down the front walk, and looked around. People had started streaming out of their houses. Somehow, it didn't seem like there was as many of them as there should've been.
"Ah, shit," she said.
What should have been a fairly normal morning taking John and Muriel to the park had ended with her looking away at exactly the wrong time and subsequently paying the price.
"There's got to be a way to get her back," John grumbled for the umpteenth time as he followed Christianne and Eledhwen down Rue Anya towards the Parc Tolkien door to HQ. "If you'd let me try, maybe --"
"No," snapped Christianne, dialling Bill and Lori again. "You heard the scientists. All the Sues and badfic rescues are gone. You're on thin ice as it is."
"You're lucky I recently got personality dialysis again, huh?" John crossed his arms. "But why'd it have to take Muriel? She wasn't a Sue, she just came from one."
"Whoever did this wasn't very careful, were they?" countered Christianne. The call went to voicemail. "Ugh! Bill's not picking up anymore!"
Up ahead, the pavement was crowded with people clamouring for information, interspersed with crackles of static from a radio. "New Cal DIA officers give me the creeps," muttered Christianne as they approached. Eledhwen patted her arm.
"Perhaps they will know something else we do not know?" she wondered.
"I doubt it," said Christianne, "but here goes, anyway." She shoved her way past a couple of people until she saw Corporal Perkins and Officer Maywell. "Oi! What's going on?"
Charlie and Jiwon crouched behind a cluster of bushes, watching as the possessed Bella Swan walked by.
“Ready?” Charlie said, bouncing a small plastic bell lightly in their hand.
“I… I guess? Sure.” Jiwon flipped open the chargelist and brushed down the pages.
Charlie grinned. “Alright then, let’s go!”
The two Floaters moved forward. Hearing their footsteps, Bella turned, stringy hair hanging over her face and eyes glowing solid white thanks to the Twilight badfic’s poor descriptions. Her mouth opened and a low, inhuman sigh came out.
“Hello to you too!” Charlie replied. Bella stared at the two Agents, her expression blank and unreadable.
”Ed…ward…” she groaned.
Jiwon shuddered and looked down at his chargelist. “Um. Okay, Sue-wraith! You are charged with turning Bella Swan into a half-wolf, breaking time in half, abusing grammar‒”
Bella suddenly exploded in a cloud of mist, blowing outward into a massive wave that blocked out the sun and obscured everything in sight.
Jiwon bit back a yelp as the ground seemed to drop away beneath him, and he felt himself start floating. He waved his limbs around, trying to move somehow, though he had no idea where to. He looked around, but couldn't see anything through the mist.
“Charlie?” he called out into the void. “Charlie! Where’d everything go?”
“Huh. Neat.” His partner’s voice rang out, and Jiwon breathed a sigh of relief. He then flinched as a large portal opened up in front of him, shining light through the mist.
Charlie slowly moved into view beside him, remote activator in hand, lightly kicking to propel themself along. They shrugged at him. “Dunno where the world’s gone, but I think we’ve done all we can. Wanna head back?”
Jiwon quickly nodded, and Charlie fiddled with the remote activator. The portal moved forward through the void, scooping up the Agents and dumping them into the HQ Cafeteria along with some of the strange mist.
As the two pulled themselves to their feet, they quickly noticed their surroundings. It looked like some kind of party had blown up, with Agents from all sorts of departments cheering, throwing food into the air, pulling out assorted instruments to play discordant but enthusiastic celebration music. Klaxon sirens blared, adding to the sheer noise.
Jiwon sat down in stunned silence, and Charlie looked around in confusion.
“Huh,” they said as a Cafeteria worker scrambled onto a table and started blasting a saxophone solo. “Did we miss something?”
(Unbeta'd and written in an hour - hope the pacing's not too rushed. I decided to see if I could answer the question of what happens to Agents mid-mission if the canon they're in gets poofed, though admittedly this little writing scrap doesn't detail it too much other than 'vague empty space.'
Anyway, this timeline thing looks pretty fun - I'm interested to see what comes of it!)
((A continuation of this thread.))
"Wow," she said. The entire Cafeteria was decorated with streamers and most of the agents were wildly partying, some swimming in the Fountain of Bleepka. None of the Flowers appeared to be present. It was a chaotic mess.
"I have a replacement CAD with your names on it back at DoSAT. Man, what a party!" The technician grinned and waved at the agent currently playing the saxophone solo from "Careless Whisper" on a nearby table. "You two look a little peaky. Everything alright?"
"...I'll never slay a Sue again, can't you see the Glitter vanish?" someone screamed from near the saxophone player.
((Continuation of this thread.))
He appeared right next to Alberta. “ALL THE SUES ARE DEAD!!!” he yelled. “THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!!!”
((Capslock of joy, I guess.))
While Jiwon was busy trying to fold down his fox ears to block out the party noise, Charlie noticed the group and waved.
“Just got back from a mission!” they shouted over the cheers and music. “Twilight fic got turned into mist so we headed back early!”
They looked back at the party as the saxophone hit a high note. "Looks like we came just in time, too! So what's all this about?"
-- Carlisle had picked that moment to show up screaming about all the Sues dying, so the technician merely sighed and gestured to the other guy.
"What he said," he said. "So you two escaped a fic deletion?"
Charlie thought about this for a few seconds. "Not sure. It looked a bit different, in a way. Less unravel-y and more…" They made vague circular movements with a paw. "Misty? Fade-y? One sec."
They turned to Jiwon. "Hey, do you know how to describe-"
"What?" he mouthed, hands still over his ears, his quiet voice muffled by cheers and brass.
They cleared their throat and tried again. "Mate, so you know when-"
Jiwon said something else, but his voice was still inaudible.
Charlie stood there for a moment, then shrugged and turned back around. "Well, there you go," they said. "So what bundle of Suvians got offed this time? It's gotta be some big names for a party like this."
“I can finally retire! And live out my dream—I’ll go to the Bahamas! And eat mangoes and bananas!” He ran off to find some kind of alcohol.
Weird, thought Alberta. On the few occasions she’d interacted with him, he’d seemed quite calm and reasonable. Boring, even.
"I didn't see it myself, but I was working with Dr Flibbertigibbet, and he was there one moment and gone the next. Whoever was holding the monkey's paw really should've fine-tuned their wish." He turned to Alberta. "Is it just me, or has Carlisle gone a little...?" he moved a finger in a circle by the side of his head.
Jiwon, having finally gotten used to the noise, walked over just in time to see Carlisle run off. "Did something happen? What were you guys talking about?"
Charlie shrugged. "Apparently all the Sues up and disappeared. And badfic recruits, and other folk like that." They paused for a moment. "Not sure if that's good or bad."
"On the other hand, so many people have just suddenly... gone." He shook his head, looking around the room at the jubilant agents. Someone had popped a bottle of champagne and was spraying it everywhere. "Do you two know anyone who might have disappeared?"
Did this mean that all her colleagues were gone--forever? Because if so, she needed to do something. Now.
Carlisle ran past, holding a bottle of Purple Stuff. "THEY'RE GONE!!!!"
A few DTE agents glared at him. "Punctuation abuse," one muttered.
((Yeah, Carlisle's losing it. He generally does around Sues.))
"Anyone in HQ who does fall into those categories seems to have vanished. Was that not clear from the message that the DIA sent?"
Alberta's eyes grew large. "That's not what you said earlier..."
Makes-Things crept into the Cafeteria. "Why is everyone in here?" He asked.
((Hope I'm not ruining M-T's character. - Ls))
"When I said 'they', I was referring to our colleagues of non-Suvian origin. Those ones were in the Cafeteria. Like Lexie and Travis -- hey, you two!" He waved at the A/V techs in question, though they were a little too busy replicating the infamous sailor and nurse kiss to pay attention to him.
With a fond chuckle -- love is such a nice thing to see, especially in a place that frequently has to deal with wuv instead -- Neo turned away from the couple only to see Makes-Things sneak into the Cafeteria. "Hey, boss! Join the party!" he shouted, waving Makes-Things over to them.
Charlie raised their arm to wave, paused, then turned to Neo. "Who's Makes-Things again?"
Jiwon looked at them in confusion. "Wait, you don't know?"
Alberta looked at them. “Am I interrupting?”
"Functionally my boss, but if you asked him if he was anyone's boss he'd probably mutter something in an annoyed voice at you."
Makes-Things came over at that moment, clutching some sort of scanning device in his hands. "What is everyone doing in the Cafeteria? I thought the Flowers locked everyone into their RCs?"
“He”s also the very first non-Flower to work for the PPC. He invented almost every piece of PPC tech. He created a network of plotholes...”
((If that’s inaccurate somehow, then either it’s Alberta idolizing him, or just that this is an AU. By the way, I’m not sure I want to use Alberta canonically.))
"The Flowers have basically no idea what non-Flowers need in order to do their jobs! It's not like I ask to be shouted at by agents who break my stuff on the daily!"
"Come on, boss, remember the breathing exercises I gave you?" asked Neo cheerily.
Makes-Things inhaled. Then he exhaled, and waved the scanner in their faces. "Just picked up some sort of... anti-Glitter. Anti-Sue matter? Everywhere in HQ. A big pulse of it rippling throughout the multiverse." As he said that, the lights in the Cafeteria started to flicker. "Oh, I don't like this. We're going to be on overtime if DoDAEG goes offline, and you know how much Upstairs hates compensating people."
"If it's, um, rippling..." Jiwon hesitated, trying to put his thoughts together. "So doesn't that imply the anti-glitter might have come from one point? Maybe—" He cut himself off as the lights flickered.
"Huh, that's new," said Charlie, staring up at the ceiling.
“It’s probably the anti-Sue matter causing it — all the Sues and badfics involving Sues getting wiped out means less impetus for the authors in DoDAEG to spin. If I run the simulation correctly…” he tapped several keys on his scanner, before boggling at the readout and wiping down his glasses again. “We’ll be looking at significantly less power output in a week!”
Almost as if on cue, the lights in the Cafeteria went out, and the sounds of partying turned abruptly into panicked shouting.
“What are you doing with that?” asked Alberta. He didn’t respond and just kept running.
...he was getting the heck out of dodge. Agents were bad enough. Crazy agents were worse. Crazy agents with flamethrowers? Absolutely not.
"I'm off to make sure that backup generator gets online, and to find the source of the anti-Sue matter pulse," he said hastily, before ducking out of the Cafeteria before anyone else could comment.
Neo watched him go with a sigh. "Hope he figures out who caused it," he said.
Carlisle, meanwhile, was using his flamethrower to set random things on fire—after all, if the power was out, they needed some way to see, right?
Most of the crowd had backed away from him.
Jiwon jumped back, shifted into a fox and scrambled under one of the nearby tables.
Charlie watched him hide, then shrugged, pulling their mandola off their back and holding a paw over the strings. They looked over at Neo.
"Hey, you reckon we should do something about Torch-man over there?"
((Do we have an end of this scene in mind? It's starting to stretch pretty far down and I don't know if there's a limit to reply threads.))
The rest of the Cafeteria was showered in a dense swarm of question and exclamation marks.
It was a pretty terrifying scene, as the only sources of illumination were the flames that the madman’s flamethrower had left.
((Do whatever you like! This version of Carlisle’s gone fully, and literally, flamethrower-crazy. Feel free to have your agents take him out. And honestly? I’ve no clue how to end it. —Ls))
...shoving the flamethrower away from him.
"Stop it," he snapped, as years of breaking up classmate scuffles back in school kicked in. "Get a hold of yourself, man! Or are we gonna have to drag your ass down to FicPsych?"
((I wonder, if Carlisle starts trying to do the OP Suvian idea that Kitty floated... maybe the Poofening kicks in and takes him out? Just a thought from him causing punctuation rain. Then Jiwon, Charlie, and Neo can be like... okay, weird. And that'll probably end this thread at least.))
"I'M GOING TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO GET OFF ME!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY FLAMES YOUR A MARY SUE!!!!!!!!! WAIT, What is going o--"
He disappeared in a puff of green sparkles that quickly turned into a sticky layer of goo.
((Wow, Carlisle's first RP is a disaster. For him, at least. And yeah, he's been Poofened.))
"Yeah, that works." They walked closer to the scene, picking up the discarded flamethrower and (somehow) managing to cram it into their bag. Jiwon, still a fox, crawled out from under the table and followed them.
Charlie knelt down by Neo, staring at the puddle that used to be Carlisle. They dipped a finger into the stuff, ignoring Jiwon's look of concern, and gave it a lick.
"Well," they said. "Kinda tastes like glitter."
"Seems like whatever powered the Poofening got him. I would suggest some DAS-SWEAR scientists run a lab on it, but..." he gestured around to the darkened Cafeteria.
Slowly, the lights began to flicker back on, though only at half-power. The backup generator must have kicked in.
Neo grabbed a cup and a butter knife from a nearby sideboard and scooped up a glob of goo that used to be Carlisle. "Maybe Makes-Things can run some tests," he suggested.
They looked back to the center of the Cafeteria. While some of the partygoers had scattered after the lights went out, the remaining people were already getting back to celebrations as if nothing had happened. That one saxophonist had already started blasting again.
“Well, you can go ahead and do that. I’m staying here, though - science was never my thing in college. And besides!” Charlie hefted their mandola and strummed a chord. “The music’s calling my name, and who am I to turn it down?”
With that, the tabaxi headed towards the resuming party. “Seeya later!" they called, before they disappeared into the crowd.
Jiwon stayed behind for a moment, watching Charlie go in silence. He turned to Neo, opened his jaw, then closed it again. After a few awkward seconds of avoiding eye contact, he gave the technician a quick nod, then ran off to follow his partner.
He nodded again, examining the green sludge in his cup. "Time to figure out what you are," he said, and headed off in search of Makes-Things and that scientist, what's-her-face Alberta.
Carlisle would come back as a goo monster. Which might not be the best direction.
Just a random thought, --Ls.))
(Self-reply to Riiiing.)
This was the third time David Null paced the room, his thoughts on "The Magic Coin event," as he dubbed it, or "Wish Upon a Coin," as he formally dubbed it. It was his fault; he gets to name it.
That was pretty much what he came up with, aside from "the coin made anti-Sue matter exist," but that didn't make much sense. K told David that O'Ryan had messaged them while David was asleep. O'Ryan noted that canons with Canon Sues were marked and had no associated universe.
Meaning they disappeared, like everything else.
O'Ryan hypothesized that glitter, the very essence of Sues, disappeared, based on his suit jacket sleeve being wet and not glittery, but that wouldn't explain the badfic non-Sues being gone. Perhaps it was Sue influence? Being a puppet of a Sue for long enough causing something irreversible to happen? Who knows.
And why wasn't Paye gone? Was Dream Girlfriend not a Sue canon after all?
David was very confused. He stopped pacing and sat on his bed.
What canons were affected? Could he reverse this? Could he-
Knock knock.
"Who's there?" David called out. "The door is locked."
"Qnza," the stranger cursed. "Well, whatever. I just wanted to let you know that-"
"All the Sues are gone," David replied. "I know!"
"Yeesh, don't be so harsh!" called the stranger. "Anyhow, do you have any glitter? Or Sueification items?"
"No?" David replied. "I don't shpxing carry that sort of stuff. Too much of a personal risk."
"Qnza," the stranger cursed again. "I was gonna see if I could Sue myself and stay alive."
"Why the uryy would you shpxing do that?" David yelled.
"Science!" they said. "But, whatever. I'm gonna wander the halls and see if anyone has anything." David heard footsteps leaving.
"Alright, back to thinking," he muttered. "Back to thinking..."
Official name is "Wish Upon a Coin," but no one (except David Null) knows that :).
Also, the stranger isn't gonna find a ton of glitter. Most, if not all, of it disappeared. I know nothing official has been said yet, but there. O'Ryan is right, in this case. That's why O'Ryan's sleeve became wet.
-kA
David Null, being the only one in the main living space (as K was still hiding in the bathroom for some reason), walked over and picked it up.
"David?" asked the person at the other hand.
"This is he," David replied.
"Oh, thank God, I thought... oh God! Are you and Paye alright?"
"Babe?" he asked.
"Yeah?" Amelia Null replied. It was her voice.
"Oh good, you're okay," David said, sighing in relief.
"I was more *worried about you!*" Ami replied.
"How are the kids? Are they okay?" David asked.
"Babe, we're all *okay, I promise," Ami said. "I was worried about you! You talked about getting a HoN mission once, and I was worried!"
"Why were you-" David stopped himself. "Oh! Those canons are gone now. That's why-"
"Yes," Ami interupted. "But is Paye okay? I remember you saying something about her coming from a... what did you call it? Canon?"
"She's okay," David replied. He had forgotten to tell her that Paye was no longer his coworker, but that sort of unimportant news could wait.
"Oh, thank God!" Ami gushed. "I really hope she isn't too scared. I'm keeping the kids in the house in case rhis inspires sort of mass murderer. Are you staying in your RC?"
"Kinda have to," David replied. "It's locked."
"Oh! I hope you aren't panicking, dear! Please keep an eye on Paye! I have to comfort the youngest. Her best friend disappeared!" And, with that, she hung up.
"Thank God," David muttered. He rubbed his face with both of his hands. "Thank God she's okay."
"Baby, I know," Ami said to her youngest daughter, cleaning up the tears streaming down. "It's hard. I bet she's only invisible! I don't think she's gone forever."
"But Momma! Sissy said-"
"Don't you listen to your oldest sister right now," Ami interupted. "She's a pessimist."
"What a pessh-a-mist?" the youngest asked.
"Someone who always is thinking the worst," Ami said. She wrapped her arms around the six-year-old. "She isn't gone, I promiseses."
Is Ami lying intentionally? Yes. But you don't tell your youngest "yeah, she disappeared, just like her whole family and half the town" unless you want a paranoid six-year-old.
-kA
David sighed. Of course, another consequence! He squished such harsh thoughts to the back of his mind as he qent to the cabinet, a relic of Paye's time here.
Back when Paye lived with him, the cabinet held a very white and musical (literally. It played some sort of gacha theme, Paye had explained) dress. Not very modest length. No glitter levels, by the scanner's admission. If there was glitter, the dress would probably be gone now. But that wasn't his worry.
He raised his fist to the metal door and firmly knocked on it. Twice. He heard some yelling, then the sounds of metal clanking under a person's weight.
The door slammed open an inch away from David's face. K walked out of the cabinet, calm as day. His hair stuck to his head instead of flowing in a unnatrual but signature wave. He had showered. That was good.
K gave David a curious look. "It's been half an hour?" K asked.
"Yes," David replied. He picked up an object at random from the top of the console. A puzzle cube. Specifically, Matt's puzzle cube. David bit his lip, lost in thought, examining the cube.
The lights flickered again.
"Is that-" K started.
"Yeah, pretty sure it shpxing is," David grumbled. "Isn't that great?"
"Well, at least they had gone out yet," K said. "That would be wor-"
The lights went out, plunging the agents into darkness.
"You just had to shpxing say it," David growled. He dropped the cube and walked to the door.
Click went the locking mechanism. David opened the door slightly.
Buzzzzzz, something went. The lights turned on slightly, lighting up the room very minimally. Perhaps not even; parts of the RC were still shadowed significantly.
[Beep! Backup RC power generator online.] went something else, presumably the console.
The door's locking mechanism clicked again, but, as the door was open, nothing happened.
"This is gonna be fun," David muttered. He sighed.
Somewhere, in a completely different multiverse (or universe, no one was quite sure), Dr. Val Burner clicked the "talk" button on her walkie.
"Hey, we got some odd electricity readings from PPC-4. Repeat, odd electricity readings. Perhaps a blackput occured," she said.
"Roger," said O'Ryan Keys. "Hey, are their glitter levels and illogic levels still ridiculously low?"
"Yes, you idiot," Val muttered, "or else I couldn't report anything else because the dang thing would be off." The CPP had booted the AU Main Monitor back up when their multiverse scans came up with odd levels of illogic in sector 4 of the PPC timelines. It was commanded to turn off at instruction or when the issue resolved itself, whichever came first.
"Have you found the Source yet?" O'Ryan added.
"I have a potential," Val replied. "Magic wishing device. Some of the ripples of logic match the identification of such a device's after effects. If we could sneak into the PPC-4, we could get more data and find the spent object, but I highly doubt they're welcoming right now."
"Roger," O'Ryan said. "We'll find the source, I promise."
((-kA))
Boadicea walked down the dark hallway, holding a torch in front of her. She didn't think HQ had nights, but she wasn't sure. She stopped when she came to David's open door and looked inside.
"Hmm?" David responded, looking up from his copy of Hamlet.
"There's someone at the door," K said. "They have a torch."
David abruptly sat upright. "Who goes there? Reveal yourself!" he shouted. "We have no time for shpxing games!"
((I don't mind at all. Just be warned that I'm gonna be slow replying.))
((-kA))
"Boadicea, DF. I was going to head over to the Cafeteria when the lights went out. It seems like all the doors are shut and locked. Yours was the first open one I've seen, so I decided to take a closer look."
((Slow replies are fine. I might be slow as well because I have algebra and chemistry finals tomorrow and other schoolwork as well.))
"I don't trust people right now." David placed Hamlet on top of the coin. He debated innerwardly on whether to tell this random agent he just met that he was the cause of all of this.
He decided against it.
"You never trust people," K said.
"Wrong," David corrected. He got up from his chair and walked over to the bunk beds. "I trusted Paye when she worked with me. I just don't trust you for reasons that should be obvious." He looked over to the DF agent. "My name's David Null, by the way, and that over there is K." He gestured to the other vampire agent. "Both vampires, but we're not agressive. K is only harsh when someone curses, but he's had to deal with me for about two shpxing weeks. He should be used to it if you feel the need to."
"Don't mind his harshness," K said. "He usually is harsher than me or most other agents. I'm K. I was a social studies teacher-"
"-and a bad one, too," David added.
"And David here was an overly harsh English teacher," K finished.
"You have to be harsh," David replied. "You make the PPC's job harder otherwise. Or my job harder, back when I graded essays."
"So, what's your name?" K asked.
"I haven't seen you around before," David finished. "Newbie?"
((To clarify: David Null is asking if Boardicea is a newbie, not calling her a newbie as an insult.))
((-kA))
I can see why you don't trust me. What sane person would trust an armour-wearing freak like me at their first impression? My looks are against me, I fear." She grinned. "I'm -- well I'm not exactly a human because I don't stay dead when something kills me, but I'm not really sure what else to call myself. I'm from Terraria."
"We're just from an unpublished canon." David straightened the sheets on his bed. "You can come in, you know? I have an extra bed if you need to stay a while. "Shpxing sheets."
"I'm not really as interested in your home canon as Mr. English Teacher over there," K said, shrugging. "But you can stay."
"Of course they shpxing can," David replied. "Besides, you probably just lost your partner and are locked out of your RC, correct?"
"Maybe they both dissapeared before I got there. The thing is, they only told me that I was going to be in the Department of Floaters. They didn't tell me where my RC was or who my partner is or anything. Thanks for the offer. I haven't slept in a bed with actual sheets foe a while. I've just been rolling up in my cloak and sleeping in out of the way corners."
"Of course," he muttered. More out loud, he said, "Yeah, you can take the top bunk. It's been vacant ever since my trainee moved out." The trainee that shpxing disappeared due to my- He cut his own thoughts off. "The bottom bunk's mine, so be careful."
"She's been sleeping in the halls?" K asked David.
"Look, I don't need any more bullfuvg from you," David growled. "You're just as at-fault as-"
"David!" K interrupted, panicked.
David paused. To him, it didn't really matter that much on who knew what, but to K? K didn't want his share of consequences on what happened? He brought the qnza coin in the first place! He is just as at-fault for the issue as David himself.
"I'm gonna take a shower," David muttered. He walked to the cabinet, opened the door, and walked through into it.
"The cabinet is the entrance to the bathroom," K explained lamely.
"Uh, we have books if you want to read them?" K said.
((Sorry for short replies. I'm at play rehearsal.))
((-kA))
“Who did it?” he asked tiredly. “I know—“ he gestured to a device he was holding “—that someone here set off the Anti-Sue pulse. Who was it?”
((Again, short. Hope I’m not making M-T too OOC.))
“And this modified Sue Tracker tracked the pulse to this RC,” added Makes-Things.
“Now stop dodging the question. Who. Killed. The. Sues?!?
Lie. Big time.
Now, of course, he's lied little white lies here and there. Enough so that his personal life wasn't revealed to his students. When he was turned into a vampire, one student asked, point-blank, if K and Mr. Null had a virus. K responded with no, which was technically not a lie. When the follow-up question was whether he and David had been spending time together, K also answered no, but that was a lie. David and K had spent that yesterday together because K was recovering from being turned the night before.
That, in itself, was a long story.
"I don't know what you're talking about," K responded. "If it's something David Null did, I wouldn't know, but I just don't know. The Sues were killed you say? I thought they just disappeared. David and Paye are gonna have a hard time with that news. Matthew, a badfic character that was recruited, was like a best friend to them both, maybe more to Paye. It'll break her heart." K sighed, looking, for the first time in his career, defeated and deflated. "I hope there is a way to revive them, you know? I don't want David to break the news that Matt is gone forever to Paye."
K knew that lies didn't last long. He hoped this one did. He hoped he wasn't going to be tracked down and killed for supplying the coin.
For all that it was worth, K still had the survival instinct that he held when he taught his classes.
"Now, if you'd excuse us. David won't be out of the shower for a fairly long time. He's a water hog, you know?" K chuckled. "He'd disagree, of course, but he is."
((Oh gods that was a little dark. Oops. I hope this is the darkest post I have to do.))
((-kA))
Tech was just less likely to lie to his face, or pop out of nowhere, or scream at him for things they'd done by themselves...
"Sue Trackers are engineered to track Glitter levels," he stated. "This one has been modified to track anti-Sue matter -- anti-Glitter, if you will. There was a pulse of anti-Sue matter stemming from these coordinates here earlier, and I've tracked it here. Though --" he frowned a bit at the tracker. "Another burst of anti-Sue matter in the Cafeteria? That must've been..."
"The agent that went flamethrower crazy," panted Neo as he drew up to a stop beside his boss. He handed Makes-Things the cup with the green goo in it; Makes-Things took a bit and let the tracker analyse it.
His own expression turned about as green as the goo. "That's --" he began, staring at Neo.
"That's right," said Neo. "Whoever did the Poofening just claimed another victim."
((I'm rolling with it. Neo was the one who knocked now.))
((-kA))
Why was she being arrested? And how was she supposed to know which of the agents was telling the truth?
"I'm not bringing anyone to the DIA," he said. "We can call them here. I'm not spending more time with you agents than I need to. I'm just here to follow the tracker to the source, and the source," he held up the coin, "is here."
"And one of these fools used... that to start the Poofening?" wondered Neo, taking the coin from Makes-Things. He examined it, comparing it to the green goo. "That caused this?"
Makes-Things nodded, turning the coin over. "Lots of energy cooped up in that tiny thing. Needed an instruction to create the anti-Sue matter pulse. Someone makes a wish, boom."
"Boom, all Sues and related characters go poof." Neo glanced at Boadicea, who looked genuinely confused about what was happening, and at David and K, who looked to be mixed amounts of shocked and guilty. "Don't think it's helmet-hair; they look more in need of a shower and a meal than anything else."
((Replying here since it appears to be the most recent in the thread. Also, M-T's been around since the days of the DIS and DIO, so he's probably trying to stay out of agent affairs as much as he can. Arresting agents is probably not something he wants to get involved in.))
((edits: grammar needed fixing))
"Neo Webber. DoSAT. M-T's getting to the end of his allotted agent interaction battery, so to speak. Since you're just wrong place, wrong time, how's about I help you get where you need to go, and my boss get those two," he nodded at David and K, "locked back up in their RC for the DIA to come pick up?"
She could probably fight her way out of this, but that wouldn't end well for anybody involved, and it would give these people a valid reason to arrest her. Come to that, they could probably arrest her already for stealing food.
I’m sure Makes-Things...has other, uh, things to make.”
((Thanks for covering for any of my OOC from M-T. I like the idea of him having a literal battery for that. XD))
"The Tiger Lily and her squad will be the only ones who can get through the lock we'll set. Don't worry! It's perfectly secure."
Makes-Things nodded at K and David Null. "Stand clear of the door, please," he intoned.
((M-T doesn't have a literal battery here; he's just low on energy to deal with agents and could get snappish about it. He's known to be skittish of them, so the fact that he's been willingly tossing himself into interacting with agents suggests the Poofening is serious!))
((I know M-T’s battery isn’t literal. Just thought it’d make a funny gag.))
((You may now do whatever it is you all wish!))
"I'm going to use the bathroom," K muttered, looking paler than usual. He walked through the cabinet.
"I promise that the cabinet doesn't lead anywhere," David added. "Just to the bathroom. That's all. You can ask Paye if you'd like."
((The cabinet that leads to the bathroom was first mentioned... in their fourth mission, although it was Paye going through to shower and leave Matt and David alone. Interesting.))
((-kA))
((Edit: MATT and David alone, not Natt.))
"Let's get our toes behind the generic grey line, everyone," he instructed, as Makes-Things closed the door to RC Hyperbola on David and K. The Head Technician then took out what appeared to be a comically large lock and pressed it to the door. A set of Blello caution tape marked 'CRIME SCENE: DO NOT CROSS' rolled out from the lock and attached itself all over the door.
Once the door was sealed, Makes-Things pocketed the lock and examined the key and sludge again. "I should've retired years ago," he said.
Neo laughed. "And that's the end of the battery, folks," he said to Alberta and Boadicea. "Let's leave him alone. Where do you need to go, helmet-hair?"
((And that's probably scene on this; Bookworm can pick up in a new thread if they want.))
It would be a while, he supposed. He was never gonna be an agent again. But, at the exact same time, justice would be served. He sat down, reclined back, and closed his eyes.
The Tiger Lily came into the RC, having unlocked the lock on it. David Null sat up, opening his eyes.
Where is K, asked the Lily.
"In the shower," David Null responded. "Leave him be. I'm the one you want. He has no part in this."
That contradicts your previous statement, the Flower said. Tell me the truth now: is K involved or not?
"He isn't," David lied. K seemed so frightened at the possiblity... David didn't want to give him a heart attack. It was bad enough that David turned him into a vampire. He didn't need to be the cause of the slightly-younger agent's death, either.
Then tell me- the Tiger Lily started.
A portal opened, and an older woman stepped out, her lab coat fluttering in her motion.
Who- the Flower tried again.
"Excuse me for interrupting," said the older woman.
[TO BE CONTINUED IN AN INTERLUDE]
((And that's a wrap! This thread is now closed. If you wish to interact with me in roleplay, you may bring an agent to Paye and Crow's door (their RC Number is way more complicated) or you can continue O'Ryan's thread. Please note that I will not make any RP posts until after 6pm-ish CDT tomorrow because it's my bday.))
((-kA))
... but I lost my way and ended up here. I can't find my RC, and I'm not sure where else they have showers." Boadicea followed Neo.
((in a new thread here.))
K glared at David, who merely shrugged.
"It still wasn't me!" K said. "I don't want to be arrested! I'm not lying!"
David sighed and shook his head.
((Once MT, Alberta, and Neo walk out of RC Hyperbola, I plan on stopping this thread and using my Interlude to pick up where we left off, but only if it's okay with y'all.))
((I literally have a bit at the beginning that says [Insert PPC things here], before Val drops in to bring David and K to court.))
((-kA))
((I think M-T will seal your folks back up in their RC, lock the door, and call the DIA. Then Val can pop in before the DIA show up. How's that?))
((I just need to modify some stuff OR get a DIA agent/the Tiger Lily unshered into RC Hyperbola and then Val interupt. Preferably the latter. Val does a bit of a funny gag with the Multiversal Laws and such.))
((-kA))
((I wouldn't put it past one of these internal affairs police type folks to have asked DoSAT to create a sort of RC lock that only the DIA has the keys for.))
“We need to bring you three agents to DIA. Even the one who’s just dropping in. We need to figure out who’s telling the truth.”
((I just had David confess, toss MT the coin, and here comes Neo with "hey, an agent went Sue and turned into goo!"))
((-kA, chuckling at this (not angry)))
((I'll answer David's thing in a bit. Running late for work.))
And thanks for joining, because now there’s four of us in the finding-out-David-Null-did-it thread, which is probably the most important one. Well, as for overall story. ))
“—cidence that the pulse originated from here. I suppose we should just turn in the data to DIA. Sorry to...”
“Actually,” Alberta interrupted. “I think you’re lying. I’d like to check out this RC myself. And surely we can wait for Mr. Null to get out of the shower, at least?”
((The fact that you misspelled vampire as “vampure” gives me My Immortal flashbacks. XD. (Not making fun of you, just amused.)))
around. He gets mad when things aren't placed where he placed them." This was the truth; heck, David even gets mad when he missplaces things! "It'd be best if you came lat-"
"Good day," David Null interrupted, walking out of the cabinet. His hair was still wet from the shower, but he was fully clothed. "What did I... oh, hello M-T! Who's the-"
"That's Alberta," K replied.
"Oh! Hello! So not-very-plesant to see you all here," David continued.
"David!" K yelled.
"What?" David responded. "They might be here for something important."
"They accused us of killing the Sues, David," K said.
"You sound like that one llama's companion. You know, the one who yells at Carl?" David responded. "Carl! That-"
"This isn't a laughing matter!" K shouted. David flinched. "Lord have mercy."
"Look, listen," David said, clearly no longer joking around. "They're here for exactly what you think they're here for. The fact that they didn't interrupt me is all too telling." He pulled the coin from under Hamlet. "I hid this from the newbie because I didn't want to scare her, but you all are looking for who started this." He tossed the coin to Makes-Things. "Obviously, it must be making some sort of signal or have some sort of glitter that nothing else has to lead you here." He smiled. "It was me. And him." K flinched. "I made the wish. He brought the coin into HQ." David held his hands up at head level. "I'll come peacefully."
"David!" K said, panicked. "He's lying!"
"There you go again," David said, chuckling. "'Carl! That kills people!' You sound just like him, you know?"
"He's lying!" K shouted. "It wasn't me who brought the coin into HQ! It wasn't him who made the wish! It was Matt."
"I suppose it's up to you both to determine who's lying or not," David said. "I'm a known liar who never wanted to work for the PPC at first. K's a known truth teller that will rat out somebody if they break the rules. One of us is lying. One of us is telling the truth."
Knock knock knock
"Who goes there?" David asked.
((Idea finished. Is David thinking him confessing is a risky play that could save his hide? No. Does he honestly care at this point about what happens? Not really. I tried to add some comedy by referencing Carl the Llama, specifically the first (or second?) episode. Gore/violence That episode.))
((-kA))
"I'm seconding Boadicea: who did what?" K shot a nervous glance at the cabinet. The shower was still running.
K hoped that the shower kept running until Makes-Things left.
((Sorry about the shortness. I think I have an idea here? Maybe?))
((-kA))
((Besides basic hospitality things or maybe explaining the PPC. Is that okay with you (the waiting, I mean)?))
((-kA))
(Being unkillable and all.) --Another random diatribe courtesy of Ls.))
((Though again, Jacques Bonnefoy is unkillable too, but since he came out of a badfic, he was Poofened.
Also, a lot of Mary Sues end their stories nigh-unkillable as well, so it wouldn't make sense for the Poofening not to get them.
But some characters who are more or less cosmic entities who like travelling around the Multiverse may find themselves barred from this timeline, as per Nesh's comments on Jenni.))
By the way, would you mind playing M-T in another Makes-Things and Alberta thread?))
"Where--" she panted. "--are--we--going?"
((I'm bringing M-T and Alberta over into this thread, as they abandoned the last one.))
(Reply to Zara.)
"Things have gotten pretty quiet," Bill noted as he and Lori wandered through a generic hallway. "You'd think that, with half of the PPC disappearing, people would be running around like chickens with their heads cut off."
Lori looked up from where she was texting Liam. "Wasn't there some sort of announcement for people to stay in their RCs?"
"Probably to avoid a potential repeat of the Macrovirus from 2008," said Bill, even though he and Lori had missed that particular Emergency by several months. Still, cleanup for it and the subsequent invasion hadn't been fun. "I mean, until we know exactly what caused it, is it really a good idea to be wandering around? What if it's some sort of anti-Suvian disease?"
"You still wouldn't be susceptible," Lori pointed out. "You're not Suvian. I, on the other hand--"
"Got caught in your own semi-fic blop," countered Bill.
"Blip," corrected Lori.
"Whatever. Count your blessings that it didn't count, and let's go find a way to get everyone back." Bill smiled bracingly at his wife, who merely sighed and returned to doomscrolling on her phone.
"It sounds like all the HQ forums are stuffed with people asking about other people," she reported. "Social media, too. Apparently it's being called Hashtag-the-Poofening on Glitter."
Bill snorted. "Did someone at the Cafeteria party come up with that one?" he asked, just as a figure popped up in the hallway right in front of them. Bill immediately held up a hand to stop Lori from walking into said figure. "Hey! Where'd you come from?"
((The NPCD has a Social Media Manager, so there's probably some PPC equivalent of Twitter...... which ofc would be called Glitter, since it's just as much of a heckhole as its namesake.))
“I… sort of portalled? Technically I’m not supposed to do wot I just did but this looks like an emergency.” She ran her hand through her messy hair. “Who are you two?”
"Bill Fallis, DAS-SWEAR," he said. "And this is my wife."
"Lori Starrett," added Lori, waving her phone. "We're going to pick up our son."
"And trying to figure out what the heck is going on." Bill grimaced at the empty hallway with the odd wet spots. "Seems to be some sort of Suvian deletion thing? Maybe some agents were playing with Infinity Stones?"
((Does Meg have a Wiki page? I'm not sure where to get info on what she looks like.))
“Suvian deletion? I mean, the ‘uman called me earlier freaking out about her partner disappearin’ and I can’t get anyone else to pick up the phone, but I thought it was just some weird vampire thing.” She scratched her nose. “I mean, it coulda been one of my family playin’ pranks but I don’t think they know where I am now.”
((No, I haven’t done any writing with her yet, so I didn’t put in a page. Meg is about 5’6, painfully thin, and has very pale skin. Her eyes are totally black and her hair is brown, curly, and usually extremely messy. She has a blue cat tattoo on her chest, long almost claw like nails, and a lot of ear piercings. Does that help?))
"Well, our son's reported some badfic rescue classmates of his going missing, and we were actually in the middle of experiments on some Sues before they disappeared," he explained, counting down the signs on his fingers. "What else, dear?"
"Upstairs wants people quarantined because all the Sues are gone," intoned Lori drily. "Which doesn't exactly make sense, but I suppose it's to help with doing a headcount?"
Bill snorted. "Yeah, good luck with that one. As if the veterans would gladly march back to their RCs to be quarantined if they know they're immune to the Poofening."
((ETA: Thanks for the description! It does help :) ))
Meg looked slightly guilty. “Whoops. Then again, if they yell at me, I can always blame my heritage.” She blinked, catching Lori’s statement. “All the Sues? Like every single one of them?”
"I'm sure we're not the only ones out and about."
"Son," reminded Lori with a wave of her phone. "Picking up."
Bill nodded, and the two scientists started to head down the hallway. Meg's next question, however, had them pausing and exchanging shared worried looks.
"As far as we're aware, yes," said Lori. "Plus badfic rescues. But apparently not semi-fic blips." She gestured to herself with a tight smile. "Anyway. Son, picking up. You coming?" she added, looking over at Meg.
“Yeah, I probably should. Made a promise to the ‘uman, besides for all I know, this could be one of my cousins messin’ around. Although I wasn’t aware they were strong enough to do this…”
"Who are they? Do they go to Digory Kirke? Our Liam's in sixth grade at Digory Kirke Elementary."
((Will probably try to line up with hidaney's thread once Bill and Lori get to New Cal...))
“They’re kind of… well as old as I am? And not very friendly? I’m the black sheep of the family.”
"I suppose I'd know a thing or two about being an oddball. But would your family be able to..." the scientist gestured at a passing wet stain of what was once Glitter, "all of this?"
“I don’t think so. The only one that’s capable of this level of damage would be Uncle Asmodeus, but I don’t think he’d have the motivation to do it. Besides…” She looked around, staring at the glitter patches. “It would have been… messier had he done it.”
"Uncle Asmodeus, huh," said Bill. They rounded a hallway and saw one of the Doors to New Cal just up ahead. The Security Dandelion usually guarding the Door was not at its post -- possibly summoned to investigate the Poofening. "Pretty devilish name."
"I think Meg's a demon, dear," retorted Lori with an apologetic look at Meg.
Meg shrugged and grinned, revealing slightly pointed teeth. “Like I said, black sheep of the family.” She looked back at the corridor, stained with glitter and the occasional dropped weapon. “You think there’ll be any way to get them back?”
She'd turned off her phone to conserve battery, since the messages were starting to get overwhelming. She had to get Liam. She had to make sure he was okay, and then she could check on all of Liam's friends...
"Think your Uncle Asmodeus could get us out of this pickle?" wondered Bill, tossing a smile back at Meg.
Meg poked her forked tongue out, lost in thought. “He never really liked me, but if I was able to convince him that we needed the evil Sues back…”
"It's probably worth a shot, though," mused Lori, glancing worriedly at the city they were approaching. What would the situation look like at Digory Kirke?
“Either of you know how to summon a demon?” She smirked, not really expecting an answer. “I hope the kids are alright. Some people seemed awfully frantic ‘bout them vanishin’.”
((Meg does not understand the bond between a parent and child, I’m afraid. My apologies for her XD))
"I mean, not that I have practical experience, since I work in the Department of Analytical Science, not the Department of Hocus Pocus." There was a mild twinge of agitation in her voice, especially considering Meg's comment about not being sure why parents would be so worried about their children.
Meg stared at a tree. “All of my family has a special symbol that if you draw it, it summons them, but I’ll be damned if I remember his.” She shrugged, dismissing it. “It probably wouldn’t work anyway. He really doesn’t like me or ‘umans or anythin’ really.”
((I guess I should clarify, Meg doesn’t understand what love is. I’m not even sure she can feel it. Fun demon things))
The city appeared to be in a bit of a rush as well, with a couple wrecked cars littered about from their drivers having vanished suddenly at the wheels. People were gathered here and there, some of them talking to DIA agents and pointing at wet spots scattered along the pavement. Several dropped backpacks and PPTea cups suggested that an entire group of teenagers had vanished.
Lori could feel Bill's hand tighten at her elbow. "Is Liam picking up?" wondered Bill as he fired off some messages.
"Hopefully, hopefully," muttered Lori, before the call went through.
"Hello?" asked Liam's voice over the phone. "Mom, where are you?"
"Just made it into New Cal, dear," said Lori. "Are you still at school?"
"I'm at Abbott's Bakery," said Liam. "I got hungry."
"We're coming to get you; just stay where you are." Lori hung up, and took a deep breath. Even though deep down she knew Liam wasn't susceptible to getting erased under the current Poofening criteria, she would prefer to see and hold him before she could sigh in relief.
"If you don't think your family could help set things to rights, then who else? Or what else, really?" she wondered, sending a slightly accusatory look at Meg.
((That about scans for a demon :P ))
“Hey, demons can’t fix everythin’. We have limits to our power and I’ve never heard of demons makin’ Sues vanish before. Maybe it was one of the super powerful Sues who caused this.”
"Competition, I'm guessing," answered Bill. "There can be only one," he added in a deep voice.
Lori snorted. "Right, but that means there'd only be one Sue left behind."
"Which we then find and make her reverse the wish," countered Bill.
((Trolls would do it. What could mess with the PPC more than their agents and enemies vanishing simultaneously? And they'd still have other forms of poor writing to use. Of course, we already have said that it was David, but...retcon. They were tricking him, it was the Troll Alliance!)) ((Ls, unsure what anyone else thinks of the idea.))
((The way your message was worded implied that David was tricked by a troll to use the coin he thought wouldn't work, when, in reality, he was an idiot and made an accidental wish :).))
((-kA))
Perhaps they gave out the coin knowing it would only grant wishes that cause chaos.
“Or she was lookin’ to make herself more powerful and screwed up. Either way…” She grinned in a very unpleasant way. “We’ll find her. Cause that’s one thing demons can do.”
"I'd like to see that," agreed Lori as the abbey that Abbot's Bakery was in came into view. "What would we need to do to find this Sue, anyway?"
“It would have to be a very powerful Sue and there’s only a couple that fit that category, so that makes trackin’ easier for me.” She smirked. “I’m sure you’ve heard of demons huntin’ people down before? That’s how I find ‘em. Woulda been easier if she’d promised me somethin’ and didn’t fulfill it, but I can probably still find her.”
"I think I could safely say that for Lori and me, we'd rather have our colleagues back with the Sues, rather than no Sues and no colleagues."
“Well, right now all I can smell is baked goods, so if you don’t mind, I think I’ll get some first. Gotta keep up my energy for the hunt.”
as they finally drew up to the old abbey filled with the smell of baking bread. A boy with shaggy blond hair and green eyes was waiting for them on a bench nearby. “Mom! Dad!” he shouted, hopping off the bench and running to Lori and Bill.
“Liam! Thank god you’re safe,” declared Bill, capturing his son in a big bear hug. “How was school today? You’re out awful early, you know.”
“That’s what happens when most of the class and the teacher all disappear,” said Liam gravely. “So what happened?”
“No one knows…” She paused for a minute, looking quizzically at him. “Small ‘uman. But we’re gonna try and get ‘em back.”
Lori sighed and looked apologetic, while Bill said something about grabbing some hot cross buns and disappeared into the bakery.
“Yeah. Tried to fix them so I’d have nice brown eyes but they kept goin’ back.”
((Meg built her current human body since the SO wouldn’t let her walk around in demon form))
"Liam!" chided Lori. Bill came out of the bakery at that moment with just one hot cross bun as well as a quince pie.
"Christianne called again," he said. "She and Eledhwen are heading for the Nursery. Should we meet them there, or go with Meg to track down who started this?"
She turned back to Bill. “Really, it’s up to you. I don’t really need help, per-say, but it would be nice to have company.”
"Christianne'll be fine. She has Eledhwen," she said.
"She's probably lost all her kids, dear," Bill pointed out. "And probably a good chunk of her friends and her friends' kids."
Lori's expression wavered a bit, before she shook her head again, as if making up her mind.
"We'll be working on getting those friends back, won't we?" she said. "It's not like Christianne needs to be there to watch us do things in order for them to count."
Her words were bitter, but then again, considering that every time Christianne seemed to contact them it ended up with part of their job being sacrificed in service of hers, maybe it would be better for them to give her a wide berth this time.
Bill turned to Meg. "We'll come with you," he said. "Where should we start looking?"
"Ooh, am I coming along?" asked Liam through a mouthful of quince pie.
"I don't know, are you going to behave?" asked Lori, amused in spite of herself.
“Maybe in HQ itself for starters. Maybe wotever did it is still there? ‘Cause I’m not takin’ a kid into any of the big Suefics.”
"Pretty sure HQ got fully cleansed of Sues, and the Sue that started this might not even have been at HQ when they did this. Probably would've been in a more Sue-friendly spot, like... that one diner we stopped by during a sample-collecting mission, Lori --"
"The Diner at the End of the Multiverse!" exclaimed Lori.
"Yes, or, or that one coffee shop... Goldie's Cafe?"
She looked around and then held out her hand. “I can portal us there.”
((It’s not portalling, it’s more shadow traveling. More demon things XD))
Then, as one, they reached out and took it.
((We can move up to the Elsewhere thread, then?))
(Reply to Alberta.)
"I've got a theory," Technician Neo Webber was saying as he slid himself underneath a winched-up X-Wing, "that if we taught the agents to treat their tech like their own children, we'd have less damage incidents."
"Sounds more like a hypothesis," replied Dr Flibbertigibbet. He'd been a rescue from a Phineas and Ferb badfic where he'd been constantly pitted against Ferb's wunderkind girlfriend and her pet beaver, hence his tendencies to overengineer weapons of mass chaos in response to trivial daily nonsense. "We should test it! I shall create a Agent Separator, so we can divide all of HQ's denizens into control and experimental groups. You can create a Kindness Initiative for NewfangleD technology, or K.I.N.D for short --"
"We can skip the Agent Separator and go right to the Kindness Initiative," interrupted Neo with a laugh. "Not everything needs to be an experiment, Flibber. Pass me the sonic wrench?"
No response. Neo sighed and rolled himself out from under the X-Wing, only to see the mad scientist nowhere in sight.
"Hey, Flibber, I'm sorry," said Neo loudly, wiping a bit of engine grease off his hands with his kerchief. "If it makes you feel better, you can at least record the effects of the initiative."
Still no response. Neo frowned, and headed into out of the hangar back to one of the various workshops for tinkering with the PPC's enormous cache of multiversal tech. He noted Alberta at one of the workstations, a half-built gadget on the table beside her. She seemed rather worried.
Neo put on a smile to cover his own confusion. "What happened, Einstein?" he asked.
"Makes--everyone is gone! I don't know what happened to them! All the Suvians are gone, but where is everyone else?!"
"But it's okay," Alberta said. "We can figure this out, right, um, Wibbs, right?"
"It's actually Webber. Let me check Glitter to see what's happening -- maybe our colleagues all ran off to check on other people."
He pulled out his PADD and was quickly inundated by posts about #ThePoofening; after scrolling through countless calls to check on people, he finally located someone else from DoSAT. "Aha. Lexie and Travis are at the Cafeteria. Apparently there's a party there to celebrate all the Sues disappearing."
((I don't think M-T is missing, for the record. He's from World One, not a badfic, and given how he'd faked his death during the Macrovirus & Invasion in 2008, I could see him running back to wherever he hid that time to avoid the mayhem. Probably a nice tropical beach :P ))
“That’s not very responsible of them. We should be building a device to reverse this, not partying! How many of our fellow personnel no longer exist? And they’re PARTYING? Disgraceful.” The dark-skinned woman sniffed.
"But I think they're probably just celebrating getting about 75-percent of their workload reduced by the sudden disappearance of all things Suvian." He paused, frowning at some photos and videos of people waving around books with 'NO ATTACHED UNIVERSE' written on their first pages in red. "And apparently the loss of scintillating additions to our literary canons like Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey."
“Maybe they’re just in the Cafeteria.”
((If Alberta wants to go to the Caf, probably best to pick up this thread under OrangeFox's. No pressure to, of course, but their agents are currently there.))
... feeling strong guilt right yet.))
((I also, for archival reasons, plan on gathering all of this into a Doc sometime soon so that we have Record and maybe have something more stable than a scattered threads to put under the Wiki's list of PPC AUs.))
((Also, anyone may join, Permission or not, but those without Permission will have their archives tagged as such (mostly for clarity and allowing me to see what can be included (agent-wise) for a possible interlude in this AU). I hope this is okay?))
((Also, please no RP reactions to this post. This reply chain will be used for clarifications, questions, and worldbuilding bits (all of which y'all can contribute to).))
((-kA))
((Because my bday's tomorrow and I'm going to Skyzone with the Drama Club!))
((-kA))
((But, anyways, geniune question that does deal with the subject line: how exactly am I supposed to keep David Null from getting killed by agents? The CPP is more mad at him than any other PPC agent, but they don't have knives or guns or swords at their disposal, and I'm pretty sure a fair amount of agents have wands that they can use the killing curse with. Would this be a guard job? Or would the PPC not care if David Null dies?))
((-kA))
((Are you sure you want to engineer a way for him to survive? I mean, it’s the PPC, anything can happen, but you’re gonna have to come up with something. The way I see it, you have two options—let David die—or—find a scapegoat. Perhaps a Troll Alliance takes credit for it? I mean, since trolls just want chaos, this would be a great thing for them to say “Look at that! It was us!” even though it wasn’t.
Thoughts, —Ls.))
(Also, usually crap is “holy”, not “holey”. But “holey” is very amusing. )
"Troll" isn't really a solidly defined term in the PPC, unlike "Suvian" and its relatives. If you refer to "a troll", you're usually referring to a real person who writes the fic. (As I recall, you've literally used it of yourself.) I don't think this RP is the place to try and draw that distinction - and, I'm sorry but I have to put the Hat on for a second, someone without Permission shouldn't be trying to add a huge new concept to the PPC setting. Later, maybe - there's nothing wrong with the broad concept in principle - but not right now.
hS
((And I’m working on the Permission request now.))
... that could be destroyed by sunlight, in-universe. I may be remembering that wrong, though.))
According to the wiki page on Trolls that is accurate. It just seems the concept is under-utilized.
((I feel bad that some of the thread starters haven't really gotten replies, while other ones have long strings of them. So, a couple thoughts on how the scenarios seem to be going:
Of course, I'm not forcing anyone to follow these thoughts! They're just observations since RPs can get a bit sidetracked and sideways and I also want to try and include other thread starters that have been languishing a bit. Feel free to propose your own ideas about how the trajectory seems to be going!))
((It was either gonna be him or it was gonna be the CPP. Not that the CPP is not gonna be involved with David Null's trial; he got rid of all the Sues, which would disgust the CPP and very possibly lead them through the Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking method of charging him, if need be, because he doesn't affect their bubble, just PPC-4's.))
((Of course, I'm actually kinda curious on whether there's a justice system in the PPC. Probably (I remeber Pads and Trojie getting uncanonically arrested), but how fleshed out is it? Once I get an answer (either through wiki walking or another method), I could start on the interlude.))
((-kA))
((Because it can get into SRSBSNS territory very easily. Iirc Ix wanted to put the Aviator on trial for cut and running to Gallifrey, but not sure how much of that panned out. A lot of agents just cut and run; not everyone faces a trial for it if they get caught.
Of course, this is an AU where someone at the PPC just killed a significant portion of HQ's denizens on accident. He's gotta deal with that somehow. The trick is to make sure it has emotional weight without getting too grimdark, ya feel?))
((Trying not get TOO grimdark. I haven't messed with the PPC side of things quite yet because Dr. Val just up and interrupts with "You can't legally do this! The Multiversal Laws say so!" which takes the Sunflower Official (might change later) aback.))
((I figured that throwing David into another organization's hands for the trial's sake could making it more funny than grimdark. Sure, he still killed thousands upon thousands of people, innocent and Sue, but comedy has to exist somehow.))
((And CPP is naturally a little silly with the trial, having never done one of these things before AND having another David Null into the mix. So double walker things and the general CPP trying to wrap their heads around Sue killing so that they don't have that bias when they charge him cause hilarity to ensue.))
((Oh, and how does CPP get there? The current Blackout weakened the shields, as there still isn't enough power to the PPC... at least, that's what I'm going with right now.))
((What would be the reccomended sentence, do you think? Interlude spoilers?))
((-kA))
It's suggested in a couple stories that the Legal Department isn't fully part of the PPC, and isn't restricted to the PPC in its jurisdiction. That could have interesting implications for both David and the CPP. I don't think Legal will take kindly to David's wish upsetting the balance between order and chaos like this, in any case.
IMO, justice would be making him fix it. Somehow. Obviously, just making another wish that puts everything back to normal would be too easy and wouldn't teach him the lesson which the Narrative Laws require he learn from this experience...
~Neshomeh
((Even though the Legal Department isn't a part of PPC per se, it still resides with it (or close enough to it) that, I think, the Multiversal Laws would fine the PPC anyways.))
((As for the "just reversing it" part, that's gonna be, ah, difficult. Just wishing the Sues back will, presumably, just wish the Sues back, not the recruited deSueified agents, not the badfic agents. True, if one wish could reverse it all, that wouldn't be punishment enough for David, but the "wishing it back" is too complex. Besides, the coin is a potent, one-time use item; not many other wishing items exist that have that much power. What is the saying? Something along the lines of "you can start with a Deus ex Machina but you can't end with one" or something? Basically, it's easy to wish the Sues away, but David's gonna have a uryy of a time to to bring them all back, including all the canons and badfic characters that were lost.))
((Speaking of the interlude, I am stuck on a part. How would a Flower respond to a stranger threatening to fine their organization more than it's worth just for trying to handle it themselves?))
((-kA, who is not angry (there I go again lol) and may have rambled, but they did just wake up.))
But their relationship to the PPC heirarchy is... tenuous. There's a scene in Crashing Down which explains why; I may as well quote it here:
~~~
The Sub Rosa bowed her primary blossom to the Fern in front of her. Thank you for your cooperation, she said. I understand your difficulties...
We must enforce the Laws, the Fern replied. If we did not - if we, as you'd have us, openly aligned ourselves on your side... what would happen to the Multiverse? The Organisation was set up to keep the worlds free from rogue plotholes; for us to bias the Laws in such a way would destroy all that we have worked for. It gestured with one frond at the Legal Chao painted on the opposite wall. Order, disorder. We allow a certain degree of disorder - the antigravity apple, you see - but all for the purpose of maintaining overall order - the ferns, with our fractal patterns, are excellent representatives of such. It shook the frond in the Sub Rosa's direction. I am sorry the Legal Department is unable to do as much as you would like.
I do understand, Fern, the Rose Bush said. I am grateful that you're willing to do as much as you are.
The Fern shrugged slightly. The Black Cats are a dangerous group, it said, and those who are coming even more so. The Sub Rosa looked at it curiously, but it said, No, don't ask. But... if we are truly neutral, they are certain to win. We know what happens if they are in control - the DIS nearly killed Agent Aspen under the Mysterious Somebody's rule. So we will... bend the odds. Your forces, and those of the Sunflower Official, will have certain chances and opportunities given to you. Your opponents will not. If you take them, you will be victorious. If you miss them... then Legal will be looking for a new home. The Trans-Normal Accountancy Division tell me that your chances of victory are... slim. But you have a chance.
Once again I thank you, the Sub Rosa replied. We are in your debt.
So is everyone, everywhere, the Fern pointed out. We don't call in our debts. Now, Sub Rosa... in a purely unofficial capacity... I wish you the very best of luck. I've grown fond of this place. It paused for a moment, and then added, And don't come back here. Its frond depressed a button on the desk, and the Sub Rosa fell through a blue-fringed hole in space-time to find herself outside Captain Dandy's camp, watching a pair of Dandelions rush towards her.
~~~
Legal (at least in my view) has divisions which deal with contract law and the like - they probably wrote the Ispace Accords, for example, which ironically enough deal with the treatment of Suvians - but most of their work is the laws of reality itself. They can bend probability - and therefore, do their level best not to, because that could lead (literally) anywhere.
Thinking aloud... I suspect the Poofening is a massive Ispace Accords violation, as well as everything else. I never wrote out a full version of the Accords (largely because the story that produced them is still unfinished), but a key provision is that Suvians are treated differently depending on their origin. Specifically, Suvians suspected to have actually arrived from the Real World are not acceptable targets for the PPC, but must be sent to the... can't remember the name now, but there's an organisation out there for de-programming Real World Suvians.
The only known meeting under the Accords happens in part 12 of Talk Like 15 Pirates. I don't think it's terribly relevant to the Poofening, but you might be interested from a multiversal legal perspective.
hS
((I’d like to use Chiaroscuro from Legal as a way to prevent any swearing in my stories. Humor, and all that. —Ls))
And I think it depends on the Flower and the threatener.))
But if you'd like, feel free to throw in my PCLEA. They would love to put David on trial, and it might be funny to have them argue with the CPP for a bit. And "kA expands on Ls' plotbunny" worked well with this one, didn't it? Anyway, no pressure, just a suggestion.
As for the recommended sentence--I have no clue. Maybe something nonsensical?
--Ls, shamelessly self-promoting.))
In fact, I might write it.))
((Maybe they go out for two seconds but then turn back on because the backup generator kicked in (they learned from the last Blackout, you see?) but I want everyone (or most everyone) to be on board (hehe!) with it before it happens.))
((-kA))
((Makes sense to me, but we should wait for others to weigh in as well. I can see it interrupting the Cafeteria scene!))
((... to stop reacting to the situation and start doing something about it: what do we think happened to the dusted Suvians? Did they get sent into some pocket universe? Or did they properly disintegrate?))
((And, more importantly: how do we get them back? Is it a simple (?) matter of tracking down another coin and un-wishing it? Where would one find such a coin, if so? Or... is the solution something more timey-wimey?))
((Of course, there's the philosophical question of: do we get them back? On the one hand, Suvians make up so much of the PPC's workload, but on the other hand ex-Suvians and badfic rescues make up so much of the PPC's people. But I'm sure a lot of these people currently in play believe that people come before workload, though I'd personally be fascinated to see someone care more about preserving the workload reduction.))
((I plan on, eventually, after Some Time Has Passed (not five years, though), the Flowers/security/CPP/somebody realizing/finding out that David Null wished away Suvians.))
((Since I plan on this event having killed the Sues dead, it would be a multiversal crime of sorts. Sure, David Null and "other who could be connected" get dragged to the Flowers for questioning, but will the PPC as a whole get dragged into Multiversal Court?))
((I was actually thinking about making David's trial a formal interlude, not just an RP piece.))
((Since my characters haven't interacted enough in the RP to truly affect things, I could take a step back (figuratively) and work on the interlude while also keeping the doc up-to-date, allowing y'all to decide if a timeskip is required to keep the RP alive. I do have a few ideas, however.))
((I'd be interested in seeing things in the PPC start breaking down due to the lack of a workforce. Consoles start biting the dust, the locks stop working, the lights flicker... stuff like that. Maybe the Dead Author Generator is shot because a good chunk (or all!) badfic disappeared. I'd also be interested in seeing someone try to Sue themselves, but dissappearing afterwards because the wish is still in effect. Maybe some funny chaos ensues.))
((It's not just my AU, but I have also been acting like it is. It's mine, Linstar's, and Lily's. And a bit of Sier's, too. Maybe y'all can decide where it goes now?))
((-kA, who really is up to writing that interlude now, maybe fleshing out the future of this AU and is not really that interested in Restoring Things The Way They Were.))
This whole thing intrigues me, and I'm tempted to join (though knowing me I'll flake out halfway through). It occurred to me that Derik might have escape being poofed since he went through a Reality Room post-recruitment and had all the unrealistic badfic-ness scrubbed off him. What do you think? If he's around, he could run into Bill and Lori in the Nursery, where he'll also be checking on his kid.
Jenni, on the other hand, is well poofed. {X D However, my concept of her is that she doesn't really have AU versions of herself, just different splinters of her one consciousness. Anything that's not canon, she experiences as something like a dream. This would be a rather unpleasant one for her. I think her physical form would be destroyed, and her disincorporated ethereal self would be locked out of this reality, unable to touch it anymore. Don't you hate those dreams where you're trying to get somewhere and you just can't? {= )
~Neshomeh
Bill and Lori are trying to get to Digory Kirke since Liam is in school when this happened, but Christianne could run into Derik in the Nursery? Since I'm picturing her sort of running around like a chicken with her head cut off trying to find, in no particular order, Muriel, John, StWWX rescues?, Cai, Jacques, the Satos, and the Robinsons.
Eledhwen is following at a more measured pace trying to calm her down.
ETA: Reality Room -- if Derik is around because the Reality Room de-powered him, then John would be around, too, unless his Blood Glitter Levels get too high and the Poofening kicks in.
Honestly, it's not hard to assume a couple things and people slip through the cracks. For example, Lori escaped being poofed because she was a person in World One prior to getting sucked into her own fanfic, realising she was getting too Suvian, and deleting the Word World only to end up in the PPC. So she's a semi-fic blip with some Suvian influences, but not so much a Sue as a person who wore a Sue costume for a while (like the leads in Suedom). In a stricter definition of the Poofening she probably should have disappeared, but she didn't.
I just saw that re. Bill and Lori. Whoops!
But yeah, Derik meeting up with C (&E) would be good. And good for them to find him and Gadrik, since I think everyone else you listed must be gone. o.o
Not gonna do anything right now myself, though. Is bedtime. ^_^
~Neshomeh
((I think there should be at least one or two efforts to undo the wish at first -- stages of grief and all. I know Christianne is the stubborn sort who'd attempt it, and would probably drag folks like Lori and Bill along for the ride. After all, she fixed the 2013 Blackout, so why can't she fix this? But if nothing she does works, it'll really be interesting to see how she spirals from there.))
((I asked the question about undoing the wish because I wanted to see if anyone has ideas for how it could be attempted, but ultimately I agree that it would make for a more interesting story if the undoing attempts didn't work and the PPC has to live with the consequences of what they did -- sure, they killed all the Sues, but that came at the cost of losing actual people who used to be Sues or from badfics as well.))
((And of course, we gotta make sure things are funny, still :P I'm sure Lori and Bill could help someone try to Sue themselves for an experiment. Maybe there's some leftover Aura of Smooth, or a Vambiolaria virus sample in deep storage?))
((I was thinking of someone trying to Sue themselves via overpowering themselves. There are several canons that have upgrades to cause a character to overpower. NetHack comes to mind, with all the amulets with bonuses, ways of getting telepathy, even well, technical spoilers for NetHack but whatever or a second chance at life with the Amulet of Life-Saving! There are other canons with overpowered powers obtainable, too! Miitopia spoilers Combined that class with NetHack abilities... we should get an outright Sue sooner or later...))
((-kA, now wanting to look for NetHack badfic.))
((...is that other non-Sued people watching this process might still react realistically. Maybe the experiment subject has to convince the others to act enthralled as well? So then it might not even be necessary to overpower oneself, just make other people pretend the subject is the best thing since sliced bread.))
((You joke about a wand of wishing, but Liu Siyuan's home continuum has a pearl of wishing that functions exactly like this coin... though it has some serious monkey paw tendencies.))
((And the Wand of Wishing was a joke because it is one of the only things in NetHack (if I am correct) that you cannot wish for successfully. You will always get a Cancelled wand or a (precharged) Wand of Wishing with no charges. Wands of Wishing also don't take well to charging, either. You can only recharge it once before it destroys itself.))
((-kA, remembering information from a NetHack Wiki Walk they technically shouldn't do.))
((...and acting like their enthralled love interest or something, and then the Narrative Law of F*** Around and Find Out kicks in and poofs the pretend Sue away...))
((Haha, that's pretty clever. It would be pretty funny if someone went on an epic quest to find a Wishing Thing to wish away the Poofening, and when they do find the Wishing Thing, it doesn't work at all.))
((gets wand, takes it back))
((Dang it, not charged. charges it up with a credit card, but it goes boom like a CAD SHPX YOU!))
((-kA))
((I think a lot of agents would be happy to have less work because of no more Sues.))
((If, say, we took a page from the MCU and time skipped to 5 years later, there could be significant changes to the PPC's department makeup because of the Wish/Poofening. Currently it seems like more people are in shock at losing loved ones and colleagues than celebrating the loss of all Suvians.))
((At what point does an AU become notable enough to list under the AUs for the PPC? When there is an official work, or would the RP be good enough? I'm just curious.))
((-kA))
Like Lily says, now that this exists, it's 'notable' enough to list. We don't play favourites. :)
What we do play is multiverse theory. This is clearly an alternate timeline, in which a magic coin causes Shenanigans in what was, until then, the normal PPC. There have been several other alternate timelines - Phobos' Catastrophe Theory is a good example of an alternate future, but anything where something changes in the main PPC universe would count.
The other type of AU is the alternate multiverse. The Mirror Multiverse, the Steampunk Multiverse, the Shipverse (if it exists). They don't start out as the normal PPC. They're different all the way back, and may or may not deal with alternate canons. (I firmly believe they do, but see comment on playing favourites.)
I personally tend to pay a bit more attention to the alternate multiverses and their alternate PPCs (EPC, TCDA, etc etc), because... how often do we come back to an alternate timeline? Once this RP is done, what are the odds that someone will come back in a year and write a World Without Suvians interlude? Not zero, but still low - the alternate timelines that keep going do so because one person writes a long story for them, not because people keep popping in to play in them.
Though, again, there's no reason it couldn't happen. Agents from the WWS could cross into the main PPC; there's nothing stopping them except the lack of a model for cross-time travel, and I think I've even done that once.
hS
I had the idea of "what if the PPC acted like an actual law enforcement agency, with Sues standing trial?"
So, here are my thoughts on the Plot Continuum Law Enforcement Agency (PCLEA).
The First Justice of the Supreme Court of Bad Writing is Judge Sunflower.
DMS is the Department of Detainment, and they're only supposed to capture Suvians.
Good fanfic writers (probably from OFUs) are the juries.
And there are Lawyers, whose job it is to either defend or attack Suvians.
Most Sues are merely sentenced to prison, not to death.
The PCLEA is very formal and boring.
The PCLEA knows of the PPC and dislikes it immensely, seeing it as a vigilante organization that isn't truly just.
Thoughts?
Mary Sues are named after the first one, Mary, who they had to sue to arrest. Because pun.
((Also, the CPP dislikes the PPC for the outright murder of Sues, and anyone in the PPC that knows of CPP hates them for modifying people against their will. The PPC is half-right about the CPP. Would this potentional AU also hate CPP for that reason?))
((-kA, who is just curious))
And yeah, the PCLEA would probably hate the CPP too.
Ls, happy someone else is interested in his silly ideas.))
((The CPP I haven't listed yet, despite a minor record of them now existing (see my graduation post and the Mathematical Monitor posts) because, well, they only exist in posts. I didn't think of it notable. I thought the same would be true of this RP.))
((Also, who says I won't develop this timeline? :P (lighthearted)))
((-kA))
Not so much the entire Suvian Thanos Snap, but smaller things like Bill and Lori currently being mad at E and C and the social media site Glitter.
But yeah, I do find alternate PPCs to be more intriguing than alternate timelines of the regular PPC. The worldbuilding for an alternate PPC is a bit more extensive, especially when alternate canons being protected come into play.
That being said, I'm very guilty of RPing both. Casually slides Plot Protector, I mean, Obscurum University behind her
((Is it updated? Not fully. I need to start adding posts and organizing them into Timeline Order (tm), but we're getting there! Here it is!))
((-kA))
((Early Happy Birthday BBQ party and late Graduation party. I'll try and update when I can.))
((-kA))
((Added the fact that Makes-Things is missing. Wasn't he from World One? Either way, there is an attached statement stating that he might just be hiding, but that's up to all of us to decide.))
((Also, if anyone wants to continue with the stranger, feel free to! It's actually a character I am planning on introducing as a free-to-use character anyways. And, no, it's not Doctor Val Burner. She doesn't exist in the PPC universe, only the CPP :).))
((-kA))
That’s why it makes no sense that he’s disappeared. [I think some trolls are behind this.]))
((Though they've sorta dovetailed with Meg for the time being...))