Subject: Ooo!
Author:
Posted on: 2022-05-16 02:10:56 UTC

"You know what would make our lives easier?" K asked, spinning around a small golden coin on the desk.

"If I wasn't kidnapped into this qnza organization," David Null replied. "Then I wouldn't be spending time here with you."

"Wishing for money," K said, ignoring David. "We'd get enough money to buy our way out of here!"

"Pfff," David replied. "Like the Flowers would actually let that happen. We'd have to buy the organization out for that to happen. I think HQ's worth is set at, what, ten quintillion American dollars? No way we'd get that much." He sat up in his chair for about two seconds, fixing his sitting position, before leaning back once more. "We'd have to get filthy shpxing rich for us to buy this place out."

"Maybe weapons," K said, flipping the gold coin.

"Maybe we can convince half of PPC to buy the gold coin you're shpxing with," David replied sarcastically.

"Well, we could," K said, "because this is a wishing coin."

David sat up.

"You're shpxing with me," David deadpanned.

"No," K said. "This is a wishing coin. Enchanted to give exactly one wish."

"Yeah, you're shpxing with me," David replied, relaxing. "No way in Uryy is that real."

"It's as real as me or you," K said. He tossed the coin to David. "How about you make a wish?"

"It's fake," David said. "If I said, 'I wish all Sues would disappear,' nothing would-"

[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!]

"Mission time," David said. He tossed the coin back to K, then turned to the console. "Mission tim- wait."

Dear Mr. Null,

I don't know what happened! I didn't do it! But Matt and Natalie are gone!

[BEEEEEEEEEP!]

"Oh, shut up!" David yelled, slamming the mute button, ice settling on his heart.

WARNING! RED CODE ALERT! SUES HAVE DISAPPEARED FROM BADFICS AND MISSIONS! RED ALERT! STAY INSIDE YOUR RC AT ALL COSTS! RED ALERT!

"I shpxed up," David muttered. He then passed out.


David, don't play with mysterious coins! But, hey, I wanted to write A Thing and I might end up writing this AU. Who knows?

And, to be clear, this is an AU, not an Emergency. Please no one panic.

-kA, who is not angry but is wondering why they wrote this.

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