Subject: The Multiverse Monitor - The Finest In Yellow Page Journalism - Now Taking YOUR Stories
Posted on: 2022-05-12 15:12:08 UTC

Shock! Bewilderment! Poor Budgeting!

Many Agents have CRIED OUT at the loss of the most respectable yellow pages in Headquarters, the MULTIVERSE MONITOR. Unfortunately, nobody paid for this publication and so it was lost to the ether. A great tragedy for all the PPC! However, thanks to the genius of one Archivist Sarkan, we have returned with a NEW business model!

Should you choose to accept this mission, Agent, YOUR stories will be printed here - for an appropriate fee! Spread tips, tricks, stories, or anything else you want to talk about.

Our first user-submitted story comes from one "Agent Joan." Let's see what he has to say!

Could the Flowers be "in on it?" We know that the Flowers are canon the PPC, right? Well, why do we exist? To get rid of Mary Sues, obviously. But what happens if there are no Sues? Well, the PPC wouldn't need to exist, would it? What would we do all day? I think we'd just go poof! All of us back to our original canon!

But the Flowers have none. Where would they go? They'd go nowhere, see? Clearly they'd know this, see? So what would they do? They'd make sure there's a PPC no matter what. How would they do this? By making Sues!

Think about it, think about it. Have you ever READ those papers the Flowers always shuffle around? No, you haven't. It's because they hide it, because it's SUES! SUES! ALL THE WAY DOWN!

Well, that was certainly interesting! Could he be right? Are we all just being set up to work forever?

Contact Archivist Sarkan to have YOUR stories published in this new and improved:


We at the New Multiverse Monitor are not liable for any libel suits, flamethrower attacks, wedgies, or any other form of discomfort brought about by the targets of your stories. We at the New Multiverse Monitor will publish all stories verbatim; any typos, falsehoods, or silliness will be the submitter's own. We at the New Multiverse Monitor will accept payment in any good or service, excepting cashews, because the joke about them being CASH-ews is quite old.

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