Subject: Bad romance novel sporking time!
Posted on: 2023-04-23 06:46:46 UTC
On the topic of fan projects: some of you folks might remember my genre fiction blog, where I review obscure books, share stuff from my own book collection, and as of late, post snarky recaps of bad action movies and books. One project I started last year for that blog was a recap of quite possibly the worst romance novel I have ever read (and if you're active in the Discord, you know it's practically a meme there that I keep finding the most batpoop insane books by accident, so this is a claim I don't make lightly). What's it about? Well, it's about a 19th century British spy named Anemone Carstairs (SERIOUSLY) falling for a creepy, toxic and actually physically abusive jerk while performing some of the worst (and funniest) spying I have ever seen. I sporked the whole thing with Discord friends some years ago and had the time of my life, but it was seriously due for a reread and blog review, so I figured, what the heck - I might as well dissect it chapter by chapter. As of right now, I'm fourteen chapters in out of twenty-six, and I thought I would link to the published recaps here, since this is a community that likes bad writing. :P
Major warnings I can remember: physical abuse, dubious consent, some hilaribad (consensual) NSFW in chapter 14, some BL2, mentions of fire, a mention of needles in chapter 11, strong language, and me repeatedly losing my temper at the genuinely offensive parts of the book (that mostly happens between chapters six and ten, since after that the characters fall in luuuurve and so the abuse stops). I did my best to tone down the worst parts and excise as much as I could without sacrificing plot details, but I needed to discuss them, so take care. You can access this recap and more here, but for ease of navigation, I'll link to my book sporking chapters in this post, too.
- Chapter 1: The Dance of Seven Red Flags
- Chapter 2: Dear God, Get the Mace
- Chapter 3: Quelle Surprise & Chapter 4: Thanks, I Hate It
- Chapter 5: Stupidity Agents
- Chapter 6: Super Mega Spying & Chapter 7: A Devastating Common Sense Injury
- Chapter 8: I Have Such a Headache
- Chapter 9: My Poor Two Eyes
- Chapter 10: Thinking With the Downstairs Brain
- Chapter 11: Go Kiss a Cement Mixer
- Chapter 12: And Then I Laughed Very Hard
- Chapter 13: Spies! Blurting Out Information Randomly!
- Chapter 14: Whirl and Dip and Spin and Splinter
Enjoy, hopefully, and if you did check out any of these chapters, please let me know what you think! I work hard on these recaps, and if I have the knowledge that I managed to make even just one person smile a little with my snark, it'll be enough to keep me going.