I really enjoyed your ability to make drama, and that closing line... well done! I liked Summer's line about her name, and her calling out Moira was quote cathartic. I especially liked Falafel's nickname, and the canon scene. The payoff with Summer's powers was glorious. I love it.

At one point, the line "But usually she sticks to the plan, she thought. She’s not on a hairline trigger." occurs. Personally, I would italicize Moira's thoughts here.

-Ls, looking forward to the next installment.

I don't really have a head for useful comments right now, other than I enjoyed it, so I will limit myself to linguistics:

"Adenessa calls her sister ‘Thie’." - chopping the elements of her name up like that makes me twitch. ^_^

"Glortál and Celebtál" - the T should mutate to a D for the second element of compounds, and I think the accent gets dropped too, so *Glordal and *Celebdal. There is actually a canonical Silverfoot (it's Idril's nickname); that version is Celebrindal, from Celeb + ren, an adjective suffix. The adjective form glórin is also attested (in Glórindol, "goldenhead"), so Celebrindal and Glórindal would probably be the Tolkien forms. Alternately Glordail and Celebdail might work (with "feet" rather than "foot"); the example of Celebdil shows that the -bd- is allowable.

hS

Oh my gosh, I am so glad you recruited Summer last mission! She is an absolute joy to read here. Her knee jerk reaction to ship anyone she finds “nice” is a hilarious behavior to hold over from her narrative (and dare I say, an excellent commentary on how “western culture” exalts romance to be greater than other forms of love?), and I love that it swung back around as an advantage in tricking Falathiel at the end. The Falathiel/Balrog moment was so funny to picture happening, and it makes sense that a Suvian can be easily swayed by another Suvian’s brand of illogic! And you’ve done a great job of making Summer feel like she really did step out of Sunnydale; her dialogue sounds very “Buffyspeak,” as they say, and the love-at-first-sight moment between Summer and Buddy has a similar vibe to the canon relationship writing from the show. But I especially loved how Summer really deconstructed Moira’s behavior, and her relationship with Blank. As I mentioned in my comment on your last mission (which I think you missed because I couldn’t get to reading it for a long time, sorry!), I’ve been bothered by how prejudiced Blank is, and how she’s been treating Moira, so it was nice hearing Summer point out the toxicity there and encourage Moira.

Oh, man. I read Blank’s reaction to Falathiel holding her siblings at swordpoint, and I figured it had to have something to do with Zit. And while I wasn’t wanting Blank to get hurt, I appreciated the scene where Blank tried to confront Falathiel alone and got snapped out of her fugue by the injury, I . . . Man, I just wasn’t expecting that last line of the mission. I’m sure there’s context I’m missing right now, but at the moment, I’m just sad that Zit went down due to one of his friends. : ( Poor Zit, poor Blank, poor Autumn!

I also want to say, that “She forgot the ‘y’ in ‘canyon’” scene was a masterpiece. It’s such a funny typo to have to interpret, but you made it such an artistic and beautiful moment to read! Even though I guess I should feel bad for Middle-earth there instead!

—doctorlit wonders how long you’ve been waiting to drop that “Blank’s surname is ‘Slate’” bomb on us

I'm a sucker for spinoffs that feel like they're telling a story (something I hope to do one day lol) and this definitely delivers! I like the characters, I like the banter, and I'm interested to see where it's all leading up to - especially that bit at the end. Fun stuff!

It's nice to see Moria, Summer, and Blank and to see everyone get some character development.

Also, the kill method was neat.

(I don't have more comments right this second, but I wanted to at least note that I had read and liked.)

I kinda want to know who Zit is, but that's probably next mission.