Subject: A few notes.
Author:
Posted on: 2012-05-12 17:27:00 UTC

I'm holding off on a full response regarding the actual content of your piece (the plot, the characterization, whether I liked it, et...il I read the final parts. However, there were two technical issues I wanted to point out.

"... Do we have any Gremlin agents, do you know?”
Are you referring to the creature of military folklore that would sabotage machinery or the specific PPC agent with that name? If it is the former (which I assume to be the case,) then the word 'gremlin' should not be capitalized.

You repeated the phrase 'out of the blue' twice in a very short amount of time. It starts in the paragraph that begins with "Nita blinked" and then repeats in the following section.

I await the remaining parts with much curiosity.

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