Subject: Opinions and spoilers
Author:
Posted on: 2012-05-11 02:14:00 UTC

I don't know where to begin. Something about this story just rubs me the wrong way. Don't get me wrong, it is very well written technically. I just don't trust where this is going.

Here are some specific reasons that I can pick out:

1) Killing off those three flowers strikes me as the same kind of thing that happened with Makes-Things.

2) The line "[...] The Head of Despatch – the third Action Department in PPC history - is dead." feels to me like it is directed, not at Nita, but at the fourth wall. It isn't exposition that needed to happen. We only needed to know that they were the head of Despatch, the rest feels like you are trying to goad us into a reaction.


Honestly, I'm kind of torn here. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt because you have been around for so long. However, I hate people giving the benefit of the doubt based on someone having been around for so long.

I guess I should give you the benefit of the doubt, for now, and wait for the rest to come out before I make up my mind.

-Phobos

Reply Return to messages