When you originally asked for it, I was really busy (so I barely read it), but now I have enough time to get this done in a couple of days most.

So... Can you send the Message and a basic explanation on what my Agents would be supposed to do?

My email is stginelli-snaillikethingy-gmail-littledot-commercial (Should be enough to fool those pesky bots.)

This makes me as uncomfortable as it ever did. I don't think I even have words for what I feel about it.

I'm holding off on a full response regarding the actual content of your piece (the plot, the characterization, whether I liked it, et...il I read the final parts. However, there were two technical issues I wanted to point out.

"... Do we have any Gremlin agents, do you know?”
Are you referring to the creature of military folklore that would sabotage machinery or the specific PPC agent with that name? If it is the former (which I assume to be the case,) then the word 'gremlin' should not be capitalized.

You repeated the phrase 'out of the blue' twice in a very short amount of time. It starts in the paragraph that begins with "Nita blinked" and then repeats in the following section.

I await the remaining parts with much curiosity.

Since I've been seeing people freak out over this.

This is only canon for you if you want it to be.

You do not have to play Follow the Leader and follow Huinesoron.

What he has set in terms of meta does not have to apply to you or your agents. They do not have to apply to the agents that are next door to your agents, across the hall, diagonal to them, or above or below them.

What he has set as concerns and views for his agents, which again, do not have to apply to yours.

Jenni's perspective on the matter apply just as equally as Peter's does. As does Morgan's (she seems to react with getting drunk) as does July's ("Oh god where is the neuralyzer?") as does Denny's. (Denny's opinion, incidentally, is that this doesn't matter, if you're freaking out and breaking things and wrecking HQ, since because of this you only deserve utmost SCORN because he and his crew have to go and repair that.)

To the people wigging out who think that hS is trying to control the PPC: No, he's not. hS cringed when I called him 'Boss', even jokingly. (He probably even twitched just reading that line, knowing what I do of him.)

Believe me when I say that hS does not want control of the PPC. If you want to see how he would react to the thought, you are welcome to follow him around and call him 'O Glorious Leader' in all of your posts in reply to him. The result will be that he will run away in fear. And not come back for months. He has done it before, he will do it again if he thinks it will help. hS has about as much desire to be a leader as a sponge does. (A hint, hS: It does not help.)

This is a July reminder, to remind people that you should use your brains. If you are not using your brains, go and apologize to one another right now. Including to hS. He should not be held accountable for you not thinking for yourself (even if we told him this would happen).

This is a serious examination of meta in the PPC from a different viewpoint. What you shouldn't be getting from this is 'ohgodohnonowIhavetobeseriousandnaileverythingdownjustlikehedidohno' but 'Okay, so what? That was a neat story. Now, I wonder how my characters would think about this? Would they have the same reaction? What are their thoughts on how the PPC runs on a meta level? Do they even think there is one?'

-July, with the Cluebat which has the Nails of Knowledge embedded in it this time

I'll wait for the other parts until I'll say something about it, but it does sound a bit like SRS BZNS right now.

Also, is it okay to go over the cowrite thing and fix a few things? (The link stays the same, in my case.)

(sorry if I shouldn't post here, but I found out yesterday that my email was hacked and so now I'm trying to use it minimally.)

The cowrite is supposed to be your agents' reaction to the message, nothing more, correct?

whether or not I replied with my email, but either way I'm keen.

cam h 86 @ hot mail . com (minus the requisite spaces)

I am most definitely interested now. Would it be too late to get in on this? I mean, I've got permission and a pair of agents that at least exist on the board. Though I'd completely understand if you'd decided that this late in, you weren't accepting any more people. I'm just asking on the off-chance that it's still possible.

The story link in the previous post has been extensively revised - so if you've already read it, you can now read it again! The changes pick up right after the party, and run through to the end.

Gratitude primarily to Neshomeh for comments given, and also to Phobos (for different comments given).

hS

I'm going to hold my overall reaction for now, much as Phobos is doing, but I do have some writerly writing comments:

I think this could be improved by giving it some more space to breathe. Everything seems to escalate really quickly, and I don't always feel that it's justified. Peter in particular seems happy to go leaping to conclusions whether he's had time to build a foundation for them or not. I could forgive him for this, given his clear mental instability later, but he seems to be right a bit too often:

- He's quick to suspect the Board is actually controlling people (this is the entire premise of the trilogy, AFAIK);

- His first guess when Nita starts acting strangely is that she was drugged (she has been);

- He doesn't take long to assume that there's some connection between the Board incident and the drug-dealing robot (granted, I don't know 100% that there is, but I'd be surprised if there isn't).

In the end, I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to be feeling suspense about these things or not. There's certainly a mystery here for the characters, but they don't stay mystified very long.

The ending also happens really quickly and leaves me wondering how to feel. Suddenly Peter has lost his mind, we go from reading his note to seeing the felled Flowers onscreen in just a few short lines, and neither Justin nor Nita seems to have an emotional reaction to what they're seeing. Justin's reactions are explicitly "emotionless," "monotone," "hollow," and "flat," and the most we get from Nita is widened eyes. I'm experiencing the event at a double-remove myself—I'm watching the characters watch it—and the effect of what should be a horrible tragedy is severely blunted.

I would have liked a lot more build-up, especially for the final scene. Seeing Justin and Peter look through the records of previous incidents, being with Peter as his mind begins to fray but (presumably) holding it together as best he can, would have helped me appreciate his final breach with sanity.

I did enjoy everything leading up to the party, though. The tone is much lighter at first, and Justin at least remains skeptical of the whole "PPC Board" thing even as he does his best to contain the situation as he sees it. The whole concept of putting a narrative to those silly shenanigans is fun—we get to see how the DIO agents involved felt about it as it was happening, and it's a nice contrast to our own perspective: we take the Board and posting on it for granted; they don't.

Of course, certain parties do wish certain other parties had paid more attention to them at the time. *g*

~Neshomeh

I don't know where to begin. Something about this story just rubs me the wrong way. Don't get me wrong, it is very well written technically. I just don't trust where this is going.

Here are some specific reasons that I can pick out:

1) Killing off those three flowers strikes me as the same kind of thing that happened with Makes-Things.

2) The line "[...] The Head of Despatch – the third Action Department in PPC history - is dead." feels to me like it is directed, not at Nita, but at the fourth wall. It isn't exposition that needed to happen. We only needed to know that they were the head of Despatch, the rest feels like you are trying to goad us into a reaction.


Honestly, I'm kind of torn here. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt because you have been around for so long. However, I hate people giving the benefit of the doubt based on someone having been around for so long.

I guess I should give you the benefit of the doubt, for now, and wait for the rest to come out before I make up my mind.

-Phobos

(am I a horrible person for getting excited at seeing my post in there *shot*)

Um. Well. This is.

Ahem.

I think I might be in shock, don't mind me.

(Note to self-check email more than once a year and get the stupid piece written as soon as I get the message. cocoafoof@yahoo.com)

Now that I have Permission, I'd be interested in trying to do something for this (writing for my agents, Skeet and Amelia).

My e-mail address is samurai_ireland@hotmail.com

This is a very interesting concept. Having agents discover the Board and wondering if they're just fictional (which of course they are- sorry Justin) just begs for some deep existential discussions... or not. The idea of also being influenced by another sinister power is intriguing.

I seriously don't know what to believe: is the flash patch really a contact neuralyzer? Ever since you first asked for the Message cowrite, you've stated that the entire thing has a built-in neuralyzer effect, thus lending credibility to this theory. On the other hand, I personally believe the the flash patch is just an SEP field like Justin says it is... You've done a really good job setting this situation up. Hats off to you, sir.

This does clear up some of the stuff that happened at the Christmas party. Interesting...

I can't wait for the next part. Keep up the good work!

Oh maaan! This will be fun to watch unfold!

No. Way.
TOS was meta at points, but this? Mind blown. 11 Flowers dead. Whoa.

(Note to self, finish permission. Email is uzl2s@hotmail.com)

I've seen other examples of meta in PPC fics but this is way different. Every other time it was used as comedy and if I was told there was a story about an agent finding the Board I would have assumed that to be comedy as well but this is really intense. I'm now going to spend the next two weeks waiting for this to be finished.