Subject: Good point about the names.
Author:
Posted on: 2013-08-07 11:59:00 UTC
We definitely need to mention the name Gary-Stu, and probably the other variants (I'm pretty sure Jay and Acacia used 'Marty-Sam' back in the day). We might actually need a full 'Terminology' section, for when (if?) non-English-human terms get used more often (there's a few around, but mostly only used once or twice).
As regards your main point: there's not a lot of fun to be had of writing 'this character is so flat!' over and over again ;). A mission is about (well, mostly having fun, but) breaking down exactly why a character or story is badly-written. And having fun. As an example from a mission I'm working on at the moment: the scene I'm playing with was a very boring sequence of Anneliese opening some presents... stupid presents:
Anneliese unwrapped her presents, beginning with the smallest one. It was a ring. More specifically:
It was the ring that my father proposed to my mother with. I had the same ring size that my mother did. I put the ring on my finger, it was an unusual ring though. The ring was in the shape of the dragon, with emerald green eyes. When I put the ring on my finger, a small green shock went through my hand.
A shock went through me, too, and not a small one. “That’s Finrod’s ring!” I hissed to Nyx. “I’d know it anywhere! She’s filed down one of the snake heads and broken off the flowers, but it is! ‘Like to twin serpents, whose eyes were emeralds, and their heads met beneath a crown of golden flowers, that the one upheld and the other devoured’.”
“You mean the Ring of Barahir?” Nyx asked. “The one Finrod gave to him after that one battle? I thought Aragorn was meant to have that…”
“He is,” I growled. “Filthy Sue – don’t take things that aren’t yours!”
“We’ll get it back to him,” Nyx assured me. “What else has she got?”
The Sue opened a dragon-shaped pendant next, and I grimaced. “Why don’t they realise using dragons for decoration would be like painting a jolly Hitler mural?” I asked – then gaped as the picture in the locket changed with what the Sue was thinking. “And that is not-!”
Nyx’s hand clamped over my mouth. “Not so loud!” she hissed. “We’ve got a long way to go before we can kill her.”
I grunted, and she released me. “Maybe that’s why she got the boots,” I muttered. “But no, it has to be a big mystery, doesn’t it? And… oh, my.”
According to the Words, In the giant wrapped package, there was a gleaming silver and black sword. I looked closer at it, and on the blade it said: Simarillion. As soon as I held the handle, it..it buzzed. Like it was coming to life..?
“That’s…” Nyx was as stunned as I was.
“It can’t be.”
“It is! ‘Silver and black’, with writing on the blade, and it buzzes… it’s an electric carving knife!”
Sure enough Anneliese’s new prized possession (presumably she needed it after having dropped her sword,bow at the Council) was a brand-new ‘Simarillion’-brand stainless steel carving knife, with a handy motor built into the handle. I couldn’t contain myself any longer: whatever the danger of discovery, I burst out laughing.
Anneliese doesn't grow as a character by getting these presents: she just ups her 'mysterious coolness' quotient. To take the example of being given her mother's engagement ring: she doesn't react to it at all. When, later, it (I think) turns out to be magic, it's not because she's spent any time trying to understand it: she was just handed it on a plate. In this case, the actions are symptoms, and by looking at and discussing them, we dissect the disease itself (flatness).
I think one word which might help to sort out the difference between 'do' and 'be' is 'unrealistic' - or specifically 'unrealistic for the setting'. That is actually paraphrased in Neshomeh's first full paragraph, as 'It achieves its goals with minimal effort, out of proportion to what the audience would expect given the setting(s), culture(s), and other natives of the universe it inhabits', which is also a paraphrase for your 'for most practical purposes' suggestion. I think that (as the first sentence that isn't 'this is the subject of the article') is the line that needs to be edited into the ground. As on Wikipedia, the lead should summarise the entire article - not just the 'Expanding the Definition' section.
hS talks too much