Subject: Thoughts.
Author:
Posted on: 2013-08-06 21:27:00 UTC

First of all, I think it's really, really good. I like all the examples, because they really do the show, not tell. That, I think, is where the "awful lot of words" come from. I don't think it needs to be trimmed, because more explanation helps to cover more complexities.

A few things, though:

It's bugging me to keep seeing "it". I know there's no good gender-neutral pronoun, but well, "it" is dehumanizing. While Mary Sues can be labeled as "it", I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I think of good characters as if they are humans (or whatever living species), not as objects. Maybe "they"? Or, since it's specified at the beginning that female pronouns are used as blanket nouns, maybe use those?

In conclusion, the English language needs a gender-neutral pronoun.

2. About the "I'm expecting this to rule out some enjoyable, well-constructed characters that might have been considered Sues under previous definitions", I think overall this succeeded. I love the sentence "The traits discussed here are symptoms, though, not the disease, and any individual one can be written in a way that works." However, that sentence is on top of primary traits. I'm a bit confused - how can writing characters OOC be done well, except in parody? (And I don't count, for example, a situation where Spock shows his emotions as OOC unless it's badly explained, which it usually is.) Perhaps that sentence should be moved to the top of secondary traits.

Also, I feel like labeling good characters as Sues for superficial traits is something very common, so it might be good to make the sentence more forceful. Something like "It's very important to remember that the traits discussed here are symptoms, not the disease, and any individual one can be written in a way that works." Possibly bolded.

Then again, that could be just me hating that Seven of Nine gets called a Mary Sue because she's hot and has a tragic past (written well).

So yeah, those are my thoughts for now.

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