If I am meta, I will not attempt to use my lack of a fourth wall to cause harm to others. If I accidentally break my fourth wall, I will live with it or neuralyze* myself, without attempting to use this to break other people's brains.


*Er... Is that how it's spelled?

1. I will not recruit Wile E. Coyote.
   - His methods of Sue-killing would surely backfire.
   
   856. I will not take Spock to the Whoverse planet Vulcan.
   
   857. Importing Daleks to another continuum is a Very Bad Idea.
   
   858. I will not recruit anyone who can buy or sell under any version of the Beast. They will betray us.
   
   859. I will not dare anyone to push an Agent's berserk buttion.
   -Especially if said Agent has built-in weapons.
   
   860. I will not move Gilgamesh and Enkidu's battle with the Bull of Heaven to a china shop.

I am not allowed to use PPC technology in order to win bets on horse races in the Real World.

I am not allowed to swap Rose from Doctor Who for 'Belle de Jour' from 'Secret Diary of a Call Girl'. It would leave both of them VERY confused.
- Incidentally, even if I am a French-speaking Agent, I am not allowed to kidnap Belle and bitch at her about the fact that she spells her assumed last name 'de Jour' rather than 'du Jour'.

I am not allowed to send the misprinted Kama Sutra edition from the xkcd comic 'Mistranslations' (http://www.xkcd.com/414/) to the Department of Bad Slash.
- They've already seen it.
- They'd rather badficcers didn't get hold of it.
- And it would probably be best to keep it away from Agent Luxury, too.

Putting Faithful from the Song of the Lioness Quartet and Gaspode the Wonder Dog from the Discworld in the same room is a bad idea. Either they'll try and kill each other or they'll end up plotting.

No matter what he says, Mr. Wednesday of 'American Gods' is NOT an ally of the PPC, or an old friend of the Great Goddess Bast.
- It would be well to remember that Bast of 'American Gods' is not the same person as the PPC's Bast, either.


I am not allowed to use PPC technology in order to go back in time and insert 'write canon slash!' subliminal messages into J.K. Rowling's mind.
-Or Tolkien's mind.
-Or .. in fact, no slashy subliminal messages for ANY authors.
-Or non-slashy ones. No subliminal messages at all.

1. I will not allow Vajra larvae inside PPC HQ
   -Not even if I intend to sing to it every day to try and tame it
   -We don't need killer alien insects with a hive mind and teleportational capabilities trying to rescue one of their own
   
   802. My singing can be considered a form of torture that I should not inflict upon any other Agents unless they are fully protected with industrial strength earplugs. Therefore I should not sing around HQ.
   -Singing around a Sue is still fine, as long as my partner and any canons cannot hear me.
   
   803. I am not a Gundam.
   -Nor am I a Valkyrie.
   -I am not a mecha of any description. Unless I am, in which case I will disregard this.
   
   804. Just because a canon character uses a tackle-glomp as a battle tactic, it doesn't mean that I am allowed to do the same.
   -Especially not when my target is my lust object.
   
   805. Likewise, if I am in a canon where squeeing, stampeding, barely controlled drooling, confessions of undying love and frequent attempts at glomping lust objects is normal, I will not engage in such activities 'to blend in'.
   -No, not even if my lust object attempts to flirt with me