Subject: What.
Author:
Posted on: 2013-12-21 05:19:00 UTC

This is what happens when I don't scroll down to the bottom of the Board on a regular basis. People start writing ficlets about the reproductive processes of barrels. I can only imagine the tales of ribaldry that spontaneously generate once a thread passes onto the second, or gods help us, the third page.

I don't know about "Pirouetting Legolas", actually. The word "pirouetting" sounds too soft in the mouth to be shouted out as a sudden, shocked response. At least "Barrel-Busting" has the same sort of harsh feel that words like "Glaurung" do. Plus, the pirouette wasn't all that distinctive, at least as a separate action from the rest Legolas's other hopping-around-on-dwarves sequence, and wouldn't likely be noticed in the same way one would notice Denethor on fire leaping from Minas Tirith or Radagast riding a toboggan pulled by unconvincing CGI giant rabbits. Bombur's barrel-busting, on the other hand, was much more noticeable.

But the scene it came from? Yeah. That scene was weird. The whole river scene was just unfiltered crazy compared to the rest of the movie, in fact. What I picked out from the Legolas sequence wasn't the pirouette, though, because as I said before, I didn't really even notice it. What I picked out was that the dwarves weren't even complaining or anything as he jumped off of them. I saw one make a distressed face as Legolas leg-stretched between his head and that of another dwarf, but that was it. It was as though they were deliberately suppressing their reactions so Legolas could have another "perfect" moment like his flawless scaling and execution of an oliphaunt in the Return of the King movie. It just bugged me. I mean, I know that about about half of those dwarves could be written out of the story and the audience would barely notice, since most of the viewing public will probably only remember the names of the dwarves that have speaking lines, but it's not good form to treat them in-universe as featureless lumps only existing to occupy space.

Reply Return to messages