Subject: Comments
Author:
Posted on: 2015-06-02 00:22:00 UTC

Good job on the mission! I have to confess, Whitney reminds me a lot of this Rhymes With Witch strip. (Warnings for gore.)

I really like the vibe that Whitney and Backslash have going as a team. The main issue I had with the mission is that you tend to use overly long epithets for the characters. "The Sword Pokémon-slash-Homs" is a particularly notable one, as you use it multiple times. I know it's a little harder with Backslash, since he doesn't think of himself by that name, but it's a trend that occurs in all your missions, not just this one. Don't be afraid to repeat character names or use pronouns. (Confession - this is the reason I made a pair of agents of different genders, so that it'd be easier to keep track of who's who.) Also, I think you could have incorporated the "Alternate Ending" into the main fic, but that's just me being pedantic.

Overall, I really enjoyed this mission! Maybe I just have weird taste, but it's probably my favorite of your missions.

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