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Harry deals with the fallout from the Malfoy effigy.

Remember that Hobbit fic I'm riffing on the Asylum? Now you can see it in mission form! Set after the Unknown/Better Days cowrite mission.

And even if it was good for a 12-year-old, I can tell that my writing has improved considerably since then, and going through this today makes me want a lot of Bleeprin.

As a side note, the power is explained a bit in chapter 2.

I woke up with a big white fuzzball next to my face.

It took a while for me to remember the strange events that occurred yeesterday--killer wolves, shape-shifting, magic… and Luna.

I prodded the fuzzball. "Luna?"

A head emerged from the ball of fur. For the first time, I took note of Luna's eyes. They were silver, like moonlight. No wonder her name was Luna.

Luna blinked. "I'm trying to sleeep."

I shook her. "Who are you, exactly? How can you talk?"

"Well," replied Luna, "I am thee alpha wolf of the Omega Pack. And I can talk because the Omega Pack is special. Its members get varying amounts of human traits, depending on their ranking. Since I'm the alpha, I can talk and heal, but not that much."

"Healing is not a human trait. Well, it is, but we can't really heal others."

"Really?"

"No! If we could magically heal others, then we wouldn't die of malaria or Ebola or whatever!"

Luna sat down on her haunches. "Well, it's still early. You need more rest."

She licked my face (gross), and I fell back asleep. How did she do that?

…

When I woke up again, Luna was gone. In her place was a Luna-shaped indentation in the grass and a note scratched on a piece of bark: OFF TO HUNT! I'LL BE BACK SOON! MEANWHILE, I'VE ASSIGNED A GUARDIAN TO YOU.

Hmm, wonder what that meant.

I sat up and looked around, checking if Luna was back yet. She wasn't. There was also no sign of the guardian that Luna had mentioned.

Maybe the guardian was off hunting. Maybe they had forgotten about their duties. Or maybe the guardian had went to a wolf-themed disco party instead of coming here to watch over me. Who knows.

A few minutes later, Luna returned, carrying a dead rabbit in her mouth. She set it down in front of me. I'd rather not talk about the blood.

"Where's the guardian?" Luna asked. "Why isn't he here?"

"Look," I said. "I don't even know who this guardian is."

Luna paused for a moment. "You have a point. How can you find someone if you don't know anything about them?"

"Are you avoiding the topic on purpose?"

"No!" cried Luna. "I mean… his name is Ythakor. I assigned him to protect you."

I thought about the grey wolf that had saved my life. "Is he about half the height of a horse, with grey fur?"

"So you do know him after all!"

"No, but he did save my life." I told Luna about the big black wolf that had tried to kill me, and the grey furry rescuer that had likely died.

"Impossible," Luna said. "Ythakor is our best warrior. He could take down ten angry bulls and leave unscathed."

I wasn't sure if ten angry bulls were as strong as a fierce horse-sized wolf, but I decided not to mention that.

"And as for the black wolf…" Luna shivered. "His name is--well, we just call him the Shadow. He's really strong. But not as strong as ten bulls," she added.

I had a feeling that Luna had said that just to reassure herself.

"Are you in love with Ythakor?" I asked.

"No! Don't you want to eat this rabbit? It'll rot if we don't eat it soon."

"There is no way I'm letting this subject drop!"

We argued back and forth until the whole thing deteriorated into a halfhearted poking contest.

Oh, and we also ended up eating the rabbit, too. I managed to start a fire and cooked the rabbit meat, but Luna preferred it raw. After a not-that-hearty meal, we settled down and went to sleep.

That is clever, though!

—doctorlit, enjoying(?) the copper-flavored tap water of Arizona

Oh, sweet, it’s pre-season seven, so I get to read! (Just finished season six last month, heh heh!)

That opening assassination is great! It’s such a very PPC-style outsmarting of the Suvian, leading her on with her own power before tricking her with a B’rer Rabbit gambit. I was initially laughing about her eucalyptus wand, but then I remembered what good exhibit decorations eucalyptus wood makes, and honestly, it feels like a good idea for wands. They would be nice and sturdy, hard to break by accident . . . although maybe shooting magic through them would make them more brittle?

I really like the early scene with Moira comforting Buddy. It makes sense, given how recently he’s become human, that he needs that sort of emotional attention, the way a child or pet would. Actually, throughout the mission, he reminds me a lot of Aximili, the alien member of the Animorphs, in the way he he’s watching everything with a slightly detached eye, not understanding everything he sees, and not even sure if he wants to engage with everything he sees, as far as Blank’s aggression goes. His desire for stories about the sky is cute (and a little sad!), and I can understand his frustration at things like the labels for days of the week, which are of course an arbitrary measurement for time that we only accept because we grow up under it. It’s a difficult transition, but I can tell he’s trying!

Was Autumn considering naming herself after Willow? Heh, it’s like, “autumn willow.” It would have been a good name, but going for something original is good, too. I love the mental image of the Mary Sues That Weren’t having big watch parties together to start researching canons, while they were all adjusting to HQ life . . . Oh, is that Blessie in the photo, with the reddened nose? I feel bad for her and Blank, losing Zit . . .

Poor Cordelia; her continuum gets its first mission in over a decade, and her screen time gets completely taken over by minis! I love that they’re all dressed as teenage valley girls, and the Heathers joke Blank made about them.

I more or less guessed at the reason for Moira and Buddy to have Buffyverse knowledge without watching it beforehand, though I was guessing the Buffy incarnations came before the Tolkienverse ones, not after. It’s interesting that removing Moira and Buddy from Middle-earth seems to have drawn at least one alternate pair of themselves away from the other story; I wonder if they have more unexpected canon knowledge from alternate selves to uncover?

Blank gets, uh, Very Yikes in here. As I’ve probably said before, I can understand the source of her prejudice from Sparklee, but at the same time, she’s been living in Headquarters for fifteen years at this point; you’d think she would have spent some time interacting with other reformed Suvians before this. Plus, I find it weird that she sees Moira’s little “rewrite critique” moments as a sign of delusion, when to me, it shows Moira is capable of “improving her writing,” in a metaphorical sense. Blank comes off as awfully unempathetic, and even “bloodthirsty,” as Buddy says in this mission. It just makes me sad, but I’m rooting for her to face some character development down the line . . .

All that being said, oh boy. I hope Moira made the right choice in bringing Jackie into HQ. I’m all for finding alternatives to assassination, but Jackie had a major aura of smooth to force Spike to act like he had a soul, plus I was reading on the suspicion that Buffy was feeling so tired and emotional because Jackie was actively draining the Slayer powers out of her. It would be nice to see Jackie reformed, but I don’t want Moira putting herself and Buddy, or anyone else, in danger. I hope everything works out all right!

You’ve got a floating “r” here:
“A tiny crack in the shell, and it was Buffy the Vampire Slaye r.”

—doctorlit will totally get around to season seven at some point, but might skip all the comic seasons because graphic novels tend to be expensive

Kupfer is German for copper.

Platin is platinum in multiple languages.

Iron is self-explanatory.

Ór is from Latin aurum for gold.

A girl is out on a fun camping trip with her family (and they seem to have a good relationship, which is nice!), and then she winds up in a life-or-death situation that unlocks a latent supernatural ability. Cool! I have many questions about that, and I'd probably keep reading to find out answers!

Sure, horses and wolves have been done, and the prose ain't Tolkien, and the title is painfully on-the-nose... but as something I'm guessing you wrote at about age twelve, I'd call it a good start. Were I advising this young writer, I'd start by asking my questions about Jen's powers and see how much planning has gone into how they work and fit in to the setting. A lack of that is where I'd anticipate things start getting silly and where a nudge in the right direction might do the most good. {= )

~Neshomeh

P.S. My Jenni says hi to your Jen. {; P

Outside, the nights drop down into the 50s or 40s. I am being extra cheap this year and not running the heater, just bundling up with blankets and extra clothes to save money on the electric bill. It dropped to 65 overnight! I'm generally most comfortable in the 70s.

At least with the rain that's been coming down outside for hours, I can probably skip watering the trees around Small Mammals building tomorrow morning. That will save some time, and increase the odds of getting a full lunch break!

—doctorlit, considering putting on socks, for he is chilly even with pants on

How’s that MST of Laiacalasse’s Tale (that was it, right?) going?

—Ls

However, if you want, you (or someone else, if you’re okay with that) could MST it. If you want, I could post such to the Asylum.

—Ls wrote a similar story a similar amount of time ago. But his was worse-spelled.

Is that cold for Arizona this time of year? Because here, that’d be pretty unusually warm.

—Ls

So my sibling Lightning and I were going through old stuff under my bed when they found a story written in a journal, written in 2017-18. Apparently I wrote it ages ago, though I don't remember it. We looked it over. It was a piece of original fiction that managed to be eighteen chapters long, plus a prologue and an unfinished chapter, and wow is it bad.

I'd tell you why it sucks, but it's best if you saw it yourself. All SPaG errors have been faithfully preserved. I'll probably post a chapter every day or two, assuming I have the time.

…

THE SHAPE SHIFTER

PROLOGUE

Jen sat at the campfire, roasting s'mores, while her parents prepared the tent. Today was Jen's twelth birthday, and as a present, her mom and dad had taken her to the nearby woods to camp out in the wilderness. Jen loved the wilderness--she liked how it was mysterious and untamed, unlike urban areas.

Jen's father came over to check on the s'mores. "Jen, the s'mores are all burnt now! Next time, don't leave them so close to the fire."

"Sorry, Dad," Jen apologized.

"Oh, don't be sorry! After all, this is your first time at this--and besides, the smores aren't that badly charred." Jen's father tried a s'more, and nodded. "Delicious." He returned to the tent and continued helping Jen's mother setting it up.

Jen was about to try a burnt s'more for herself when she heard a howl pierce through the forest. Her parents didn't seem to hear it--they continued setting up the tent as usual.

Driven by curiosity, Jen stood up and started traveling in the direction of the howl.

…

It wasn't before long when Jen glanced around and realized that she was lost. It was foolish of me to do that, she thought. Jen turned around to see that her path was blocked by a black wolf.

The wolf was about as tall as a horse, with two red eyes--twin pools of blood. Its lips were curled back in a snarl.

Right then, the wolf pounced. Straight at Jen.

Jen saw her whole life flash in front of her--from the moment she was born, to her first birthday, to the time that Jen accidentally painted herself blue, to when Jen tried to eat a pencil in first grade. Every important and embarrasing aspect of Jen's life played out right in front of her.

The wolf was almost upon Jen. Its claws were extended. Its mouth was open, revealing sharp, deadly teeth.

This is the end, thought Jen. Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Dad. Sorry, Mrs. Conemar, for me getting a D on thee math quiz. Sorry, Emma, for not returning your Magic-eight ball. And your pants.

A small grey wolf appeared out of nowhere, knocking the black wolf to the side. They fought, claws against claws and teeth against teeth. The grey wolf was only about half the size of the black wold. As Jen watched, the grey wolf turned to face Jen and shouted, "Run!"

Jen had no idea how the wolf could talk, but she turned and sprinted deeper into the woods. She was afraid to know what happened to the grey wolf. He had caught the black wolf by surprise, but that was the only advantage that he had. Soon the black wolf would overpower thee grey one, and pursue Jen. Out of fear, she ran faster.

Jen ran for so long that she started to wonder how she could've ran for so long without tiring. Then she realized that she wasn't even human now--she was a horse, galloping like the wind.

…

Luna was running at full speed. She had memorized the whole layout of the woods, and she knew that the shape-shifter was headed to a certain clearing. If Luna wanted to meet the shifter, she had to reach the clearing before the shifter did.

Luna reached the clearing just as a chestnut horse burst in. Upon sighting Luna, thee horse slid to a stop and whinnied. In the blink of an eye, the horse was replaced by a young girl, with wavy dark brown hair and emerald-green eyes.

…

Jen had reached a clearing, but it had a wolf in it.

At first she wanted to bolt, but the wolf--a white one this time--had a warm aura around it, as if it meant no harm.

Before she knew it, Jen was a human again. She collapsed, her whole body aching from the long run.

The white wolf gently laid its paw on Jen's forehead, and she instantly felt better. The aching faded away into a dull throb.

"Whatever you do, don't try to sit up. I'm Luna, by the way."

"I'm… I'm Jen," Jen replied.

Jen had a million questions buzzing around in her head and randomly bumping into each other. Who was Luna? Why was she helping Jen? How could wolves speak? Who was the black wolf that had attempted to kill her, and who was the grey wolf that had saved her? How did Luna heal Jen?

And the biggest question of all: how did Jen become a horse? What skills did Jen have, tucked away and hidden somewhere in her brain?

Jen opened her mouth to speak, and managed to croak out, "Who… who am I?…" before the whole world blacked out through her eyes.

…

Luna looked down at Jen, now unconscious. She knew that Jen had lots of questions, but right now, Jen needed rest. The questions that she had in store coould wait.

After all, Luna needed a break, too. She curled up beside Jen, and fell fast asleep.

a cookie for you if you can answer correctly what the four's last names reference.

Heh. A little campus fetch-questing with our alternates-of-agents OCs? Fun! I didn't comment on it during the mission in which they first appeared, but "Kupferbäcker" and "Platinfersken" are some top-notch surnames! I love the sound of them.

—doctorlit is sitting at 67 degrees F in his condo, and it's only going to drop further over night . . .

In which the Skystreakers wrap up the Venice investigation, and Shinichi Kudo catches the attention of a certain whimsical gunslinger and her friends from Lycoris Recoil.

As usual, many thanks to Doctorlit for betaing this!

And I suppose that makes it 9 years for me, holy cow. Next year I’ll be the one handing out 10-shaped treats, but for now, I’ll happily help myself.

I’m glad to have met you and called you a friend, Zing.

Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable making that kind of decision about a character I didn't create, especially one that's used communally. I'd much prefer it to be left up to interpretation by anyone who chooses to write her.

That said, we can make some reasonable deductions based on TOS, which would be the only definitive source. I'm not aware of any clear statement of her height—however, we know Acacia is "fairly tall" and Jay is even taller (TOS 10). It probably would have been pointed out in the unlikely event that Lux were also taller than Acacia, and it also probably would have been pointed out if she were significantly shorter, so I think we can safely assume she's somewhere between average and "fairly tall."

So, what's average? Google tells me the average height for a modern woman over 20 years old is about 5'4" (64 in or 162.56 cm).

What's "fairly tall"? I'unno, 5'9" (69 in/175.26 cm), maybe? 6 feet (72 in/182.88 cm) would be quite remarkable, so that's my maximum guess for Jay's height; Acacia has to be less than that while still being enough above average to stand out.

Split the difference between 5'4" and 5'9", and I'd guess that Lux is about 5'7" (67 in/170.18 cm). Taller than Momoka? Yes. Maybe. But probably not by much.

~Neshomeh is 5'5" and feels pretty normal.

Yeah, Yuki is right. The sequel is worse... though it is at least shorter. And don't worry--it doesn't explain Gren Tres at all. In fact, I don't think it ever even comes up.

I've edited the dialogue on AO3.

The Dumbledore skit was absolutely hilarious. Thanks for that!

--Ls

I imagine her to be taller than Momoka (165 cm), but I think a definite number would make a better gag. What do you think? Is there a piece of evidence that I missed somewhere in her multitude of appearances?