Subject: I mean, there's a solid premise in there...
Posted on: 2023-01-16 17:30:08 UTC

A girl is out on a fun camping trip with her family (and they seem to have a good relationship, which is nice!), and then she winds up in a life-or-death situation that unlocks a latent supernatural ability. Cool! I have many questions about that, and I'd probably keep reading to find out answers!

Sure, horses and wolves have been done, and the prose ain't Tolkien, and the title is painfully on-the-nose... but as something I'm guessing you wrote at about age twelve, I'd call it a good start. Were I advising this young writer, I'd start by asking my questions about Jen's powers and see how much planning has gone into how they work and fit in to the setting. A lack of that is where I'd anticipate things start getting silly and where a nudge in the right direction might do the most good. {= )


P.S. My Jenni says hi to your Jen. {; P

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