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With in-line translations, since this is a demonstration, not fiction per se. Given the context, these two are probably Feanorians in northern Beleriand. Their names mean Sharp Sheath and Red-Gold Autumn, for no particular reason. I've also used a few words in quite strange ways, and a couple which are probably obsolete, but again, it's a demo, not strict canon.

Aicavainë: "Cullanta!" Cullanta!

Cullanta: "Ai... elen síla lumann' omentielvo, Aicavainë." Oh no… a star shines on the hour of our meeting, Aicavainë.

Aicavainë: "I eleni úmanyuval. Úsavin cardarlya!" The stars won’t help you now. I can’t believe you did that!

Cullanta: "Nanven colë quettar restallor; hlarnen yarra urquilion." I had to bring a report from the fields; I heard Orcs snarling.“

Aicavanië: "Equë harwelya i aháryiel maurë melmë, la hestolya!” Your wound says you needed care, not your captain!

Cullanta: “Nan lúsina; suncen míruvórë-“ I was fine; I drank some miruvor-

Aicavanië: “Cullanta, súcal sangwa sercellolya! Qui lemyas úpoica, hyaruvaltë telcol!” Cullanta, you’re drinking poison from your blood! If it doesn’t get cleaned, they’ll take your leg!

Cullanta: “Ui, nas faica. Appien lil olca.” No, it’s nothing. I’ve had worse.

Aicavanië: “I sangwa ná úmëa i rottor hroavassel. Rato helmal queruva mórin. Yulmë quatuvalyë.” The poison is swarming in the caves of your body. Soon your skin will turn black. Heat will fill you.

Cullanta: “Yulmë? Nas mara nin.” Drinking? Sounds good to me.

Aicavanië: “Úrë. Ar firuval.” Heat. And then you’ll die.

Cullanta: “Nan Elda, lá Engwa.” I’m Elvish, not a Sickly One.

Aicavanië: “Firuval. Nwalmenen.” You’ll die. Horribly.

Cullanta: “… ná i melissë hare?” … is the doctor [lit. carer, lover] around?

Aicavanië: “Náto. Ar nan sissë sinen caituval caimassë, ar únauval caimassëa.” Yes. And I’m here so you say in bed, instead of being bedridden.

---

I think it works. Certainly having your condition described as súcal sangwa sercellolya has a wonderful sinister feel to it.

hS

Except on the Hufflepuff thing, since I think they represent a rare opportunity to show Red as compassionate and helpful instead of the anger we usually get out of them. The rest of it though, we're on the same page.

Honestly, I figured this would be a good community to reach out to so this guy could get some legitimate concrit instead of reddit's general aura of snark.

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I totally did not realize who he was until the end.

Ah the needs of the agency to send people into canons that they don't actually like.

Poor birdy should have been shoved into the shower before going to medical.

I liked the part where the canon examined them and found them wanting.

So, I am coming at this from two directions: 1) As a HP fan 2) as a semi-professional MTG player.

As an HP fan, I think the cards are pretty flavorful. I like most of the color combinations for the groups (Blue/Black for Slytherin, for instance), however, they made all of the groups allied colors except Gryffindor (Red/White), which seems odd to me. I think the hot headed Gryffindors should have been Red/Green, which would push the mild-mannered Hufflepuffs to Green/White (which doesn't have a group yet). I also think they could have gone further with adding characters in different colors. A lot of our Legendary Creatures are mono-colored when they could be more. The more important they are, the more colors they should be. Make Voldemort Red/Black/Blue (combining the colors for Death Eaters and Slytherins). Make Harry Red/Green/White. Hermione should be Blue/White and Cedric should just be Green. Also, we need more Weasleys, ghosts, and teachers.

Now, looking at it from the perspective of an actual magic set, this thing is a mess. There is no real difference between most of the groups. The whole thing kind of feels muddy. I think this comes from the fact that all of the mechanics in the set are pretty evenly spread across all colors. Also, the power level of cards goes straight from laughably weak to hilariously overpowered (looking at you Invisibility Cloak) with almost nothing in between. It needs to be totally rebalanced, basically.

Also, "Common Room" has an Uncommon rarity level. That's messed up.

I guess my overall impression is this: With work, I think this could be a pretty interesting set, but it is going to take a lot of work.

-Phobos

I always found this anime... well, dumb, but that's just barbaric. My sympathy also go for Falchion here.

We'll see how it goes for him later.

I don't remember ever seeing an in media res here in PPC, but it sure made for an interesting read.

I found the badfic was well handed too, with few quotes scattered in your text, and not too many paragraphs of quotes.

I also found the interaction between Jack and the Detective fun to read (although I wonder if Jack know that aspirin and Time Lords don't mix or not).

One of my favorite moment was also how you narrated the neuralyzation.

Keep this up. I'm more than interested by reading more missions about your guys.

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Perhaps you didn't notice—it was a real blink-and-you'll-miss-it little moment—but there WAS a hint that some part of Credence survived. A little scrap of fiery shadow stuff was seen escaping out of the subway by what seemed to be its own power. Newt noticed it, but of course didn't let on. So, there might be hope! Though, if he does come back, who knows what kind of shape he'll be in mentally, physically, etc.

And I did approve of how they portrayed Credence's completely unnecessary fate, too, just not in a way I could've articulated nearly as well as you did. {= )

~Neshomeh

Because no one is bringing up the parts I thought were important! (SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS ahead!)

Sometimes, rarely, I latch onto a character and see every scene from their point of view. I reflexively invent a running commentary of their thoughts and feelings. While watching this movie, this happened to me. . . with Credence. You can imagine how upset I am.

I think it's totally amazing that this character, mentally ill as the result of trauma, isn't just a danger that had to be stopped. He has hopes and dreams and people he cares about. And the GREATEST THING EVER is that when the team from MACUSA comes to shoot him down, they look needlessly violent: our heroes were well on their way to talking him down. They could have calmed him, gotten him into treatment (not that they were likely to have any decent mental health treatment in this time period, but this time period didn't have Nifflers either) -- his death was a preventable tragedy stemming from governmental over-reliance on militarized law enforcement.
And this happens in real life.
And all those kids I saw in the audience will hopefully internalize that Credence didn't need to die and grow up and make the world a better place.
Who knows, maybe that's all a load of dingo's kidneys. But it might not be and that makes me hopeful.

So yeah, the only character I was seriously invested in probably won't be showing up again. And there seems to be little chance of Newt/Jacob happening (although it NEEDS TO), so I'm not likely to watch the rest of the movies.

Other things: my mom is a total nerd about Jewish New York history, and she pointed out that if Jacob Kowalski is living on Orchard Street, he should probably be Jewish, but his last name isn't a Jewish last name. However, Tina and Queenie are Goldsteins, a very Jewish last name, and it's kind of weird that Queenie is blonde. Basically, I want more of their family history.

Although maybe I don't, considering how adeptly their family history is handled in the movie. Could anyone tell what Tina's relationship to Credence and the New Salem-ers was? I was confused, as were the two people I watched the movie with and the two people I asked afterwards. . . help!

One last point: if MACUSA is apparently progressive enough to elect an African-American woman president, why is she the only POC in a position of any power? The only others in the entire movie: foreign diplomats (different governments, don't count), a nurse/executioner (who didn't seem to give orders, just to carry out her particular job), and. . . no, wait, I think that's it. All the Saints and the donkeys they rode in on.

--Key has been taking an African-American Film History class and may never be able to watch mainstream movies again.

Number one, actually.

The Detective has, at this point, already nosed around the PPC and has seen the major tools of the trade. This is essentially him job-shadowing Jack, and getting a feel for how things run at the PPC.

Without further ado, I present Jack Riggs and the Detective in: Death: Accept No Substitutes!

Please don't bother with us at all, if you consider posting here to be beneath your dignity.

--Key is my name as much as Orwell is yours here, and I am as pleased to meet you as you are to meet us.

. . . I hope it was a good one when it happened.

--Key

Kali held up the Deer Shot, grinning maniacally. She spun towards the marauding Orc, readying a shot. "HAVE AT THEE THOU REEKING--um, are we are not attacking him?" Disappointed, Kali lowered her sling. "Oh. Well, then. To the next room, I suppose!" With a nauseating--due to the way it wafted up the scent of her feet--skip in her step, Kali went to the Eastern door, standing behind and slightly to the side of the Orc Bodyguard, ready to shoot down the hall when the chance came.

[Kali positions herself behind the Orc.]

((Deer Shot. It's perfect. That is all.

-Alleb))

He speaks quietly to the Orc (who shall remain nameless until he can share his own name with the audience), who growls something in reply. Virro speaks once more, and the Orc growls again. Virro says something more insistently, and the Orc shakes his head firmly. The Elf sighs, and backs out of the line of sight of the door, the Orc positioning himself in front of him, readying himself to defend Virro from any danger.

"I shall try to act more quickly next time, Uriel," he says to the green Shardmind. "I am afraid circumstances conspired to prevent my actions from taking place when they should have. I have taken steps to rectify this." He then turns to search the arms racks, hoping this short interlude will give him time to find a weapon, again, preferably a bow, but anything would do at the moment.

Did you know the artwork was done by the Queen of Denmark? And that they have Christopher Lee singing as Treebeard? They're pretty awesome, is what I'm saying.

hS

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you've probably picked up on it by now.

I quite liked it. Elanor is adorable, and I'm really glad I showed you Time Crash, because you cannot convince me that it was not, in some way, inspiration for this.

I liked giving the assassination to Zeb, as well. Very nice to see him taking initiative like that, though it did seem to be a lot of information to absorb in a recently neuralyzed brain.


Now, on to Anthony. Very laid back, and I think more put together than he lets on. He's light, and he definitely feels casual. It'll be interesting to see that mask slip under stress.

I have a headcanon that this is the Aviator coming to grips with a lot of her pain, accepting the trauma of her past and trying to put it behind her. Perhaps she refused to let herself recognize this future. Maybe because she rebelled against it, maybe because it was too much to hope for.

Either way, I very much look forward to meeting him.

... 'Arwen' is... basically the same name as 'Artanis'. They both mean 'Noble Lady'.

I don't think we can forgive Elladan being named 'Elf-Man', honestly. Elrohir, maybe, the 'rider' component isn't something I recognise.

Elsewhere in the later generations we have Orodreth, who I probably confused someone by not listing as a son of Finarfin (Tolkien ended up with him as Angrod's son). His name in Quenya was Artaresto, which means High Climber; clearly Angrod had a better grip on reality than his parents. Orodreth's children were Finduilas (no Quenya name, but there's that Fin(d)- element again; hilariously, one Wiki parses it as 'hair like spring leaves'. Green-haired House Finwe: confirmed?) and Gil-Galad, whose father-name was High Flame. So, uh... that's 'better at being Feanor than Feanor', then? Stay classy, Orodreth.

Elsewhere, Idril (Itarillë, 'Sparkling Radiance') escapes most of the madness by being female, though she may have been given the end of Galadriel's nickname. Her son was Eärendil Ardamírë - his father name means sea-lover (pretty obvious, given Tuor was sent to Gondolin by Ulmo), and his mother-name means 'Jewel of the World'. Well, we always knew Idril was a seer; she even managed to work in a reference to Miriel there. Quite charming, actually.

Meanwhile over in crazyland... Curufin (aka Little Father) called his son... Silver Fist. Huh. Would not have pegged Curufin as the least crazy/pretentious parent among the grandchildren of Finwe.

hS

To be fair, we never learned how to say "Where is the bathroom?" in Latin, mostly because there aren't really any situations that demand it, and naturally most textbooks stay away from the cruder side of language. Even still, there were often passages to translate that described everyday life for Romans. I believe the Oxford Latin books frequently had sections involving Quintus finding his friend Marcus drinking in the pub, to the point where it bordered on implying Marcus had a bit of a drinking problem (or at least, was the kind of student who preferred partying to actually studying). And that's before you get into translating classical poetry, which the instructors did not always screen for content...

Yeah, uh. Arwen's grandmother? Galadriel? Her original names were Artanis and Nerwen. ARtanis, NerWEN...ARWEN. Oh dear.

And then Celebrian and Elrond also have Elladan and Elrohir...though I'm of a mind to excuse that, since Elrond's brother was Elros and this mainly just looks like a nice way to remember him while also recycling name elements.

And don't get me started on Arwen's son Eldarion. First of all, that's both a cool and an awful name to give someone. And secondly...EL again, coupled with "oh, hey, so my mom was half-elven? So she and my dad named me 'Elf-son', or 'son of Elves', or something? Yeah, I'm going to just change my name as soon as I can, and seriously, my parents can't complain, my dad has like twenty names by now."

Seriously. Eldarion really got the short end of the stick there.

~DF