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I don't mind Suevian. You, on the other hand, are simultaneously a menace and a bore. So kindly go copulate with broken glass or something. I'm sure it'll be more productive than your post here.

The Importance Of Mary Sue
"When I was in Ninth Grade, I won a thing.

That thing, in particular, was a thirty dollar Barnes & Noble gift certificate. I was still too young for a part-time job, so I didn’t have this kind of spending cash on me, ever. I felt like a god.

Drunk with power, I fancy-stepped my way to my local B&N. I was ready to choose new books based solely on the most important of qualities… ABSOLUTELY WICKED COVER ART. I walked away with a handful of paperbacks, most of which were horrible (I’m looking at you, Man-Kzin Wars III) or simply forgettable.

One book did not disappoint. I fell down the rabbit hole into a series that proved to be as awesome as the cover art promised (Again, Man-Kzin Wars III, way to drop the ball on that one). With more than a dozen books in the series, I devoured them. I bought cassette tapes of ballads sung by bards in the stories. And the characters. Oh, the characters. I loved them. Gryphons, mages, but most importantly, lots of women. Different kinds of women. So many amazing women. I looked up to them, wrote bad fiction that lifted entire portions of dialogue and character descriptions, dreamed of writing something that the author would include in an anthology.

This year I decided in a fit of nostalgia to revisit the books I loved so very much. I wanted to reconnect with my old friends…

…and I found myself facing Mary Sues. Lots of them. Perfect, perfect, perfect. A fantasy world full of Anakin Skywalkers and Nancy Drews and Wesley Crushers. I felt crushed. I had remembered such complex, deep characters and didn’t see those women in front of me at all anymore. Where were those strong women who kept me safe through the worst four years of my life?

Which led me to an important realization as I soldiered on through book after book. That’s why I needed them. Because they were Mary Sues. These books were not written to draw my attention to all the ugly bumps and whiskers of the real world. They were somewhere to hide. I was painfully aware that I was being judged by my peers and adults and found lacking. I was a mess up. And sometimes a mess up needs to feel like a Mary Sue. As an adult, these characters felt a little thin because they lacked the real world knowledge I, as an adult, had learned and earned. But that’s the thing…these books weren’t FOR this current version of myself. Who I am now doesn’t need a flawless hero because I’m comfortable with the idea that valuable people are also flawed.

There is a reason that most fanfiction authors, specifically girls, start with a Mary Sue. It’s because girls are taught that they are never enough. You can’t be too loud, too quiet, too smart, too stupid. You can’t ask too many questions or know too many answers. No one is flocking to you for advice. Then something wonderful happens. The girl who was told she’s stupid finds out that she can be a better wizard than Albus Dumbledore. And that is something very important. Terrible at sports? You’re a warrior who does backflips and Legolas thinks you’re THE BEST. No friends? You get a standing ovation from Han Solo and the entire Rebel Alliance when you crash-land safely on Hoth after blowing up the Super Double Death Star. It’s all about you. Everyone in your favorite universe is TOTALLY ALL ABOUT YOU.

I started writing fanfiction the way most girls did, by re-inventing themselves.

Mary Sues exist because children who are told they’re nothing want to be everything.

As a girl, being “selfish” was the worst thing you could be. Now you live in Narnia and Prince Caspian just proposed marriage to you. Why? Your SELF is what saved everyone from that sea serpent. Plus your hair looks totally great braided like that.

In time, hopefully, these hardworking fanfiction authors realize that it’s okay to be somewhere in the middle and their characters adjust to respond to that. As people grow and learn, characters grow and learn. Turns out your Elven Mage is more interesting if he isn’t also the best swordsman in the kingdom. Not everyone needs to be hopelessly in love with your Queen for her to be a great ruler. There are all kinds of ways for people to start owning who they are, and embracing the things that make them so beautifully weird and complicated.

Personally, though, I think it’s a lot more fun learning how to trust yourself and others if you all happen to be riding dragons."

TL;DR: Mary Sues exist because children who are told they’re nothing want to be everything.

A girl making herself the hero of her own story is a radical act. Stop shaming girls for doing it. Stop shaming yourself for it.

A/N: I was reading the PPC hunger games, and I was inspired to write a fic about Peregrin being badass and setting stuff on fire. Also, does anyone know a good beta?

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Agent Peregrin was on a mission with some pyros because he was better at making bombs than most of the department. He didn't transfer, though, because he thought DoGA were wimps. The world was twisted into brain-breaking shapes by an uncanonical forest. Peregrin couldn't stand it, so he charged in with his flamethrower. The other agents tried to hold him back, yelling "We don't even have most of the charges!", but Peregrin didn't care. He just wanted to burn stuff.

Peregrin quickly finished the mission (by destroying everything in sight) and went back to his RC, #112358. He'd never figured out where those numbers came from, or why there were commas and an ellipsis on the sign. He spent some time reading, and then took a short nap. He didn't need to work around his partner, since he didn't have one because he was just that good solo.

When he woke up, he decided to go to the Canon Library to get more reading material. He wandered the halls for a while and eventually stumbled on the library. The librarian didn't want to give him more books because the ones he had were 'overdue'. After about a minute of these complaints, Peregrin flew into a rage and planted a small grenade on the checkout records. The Librarian managed to dodge, but the records (and a good part of the desk they were on) were destroyed. The explosion also started a fire, which burned down several shelves of books, but Peregrin didn't care. Those were replaceable anyway, right?

While Peregrin was storming out the library and venting about how he still hadn't managed to get his books, he remembered that his vacation request from two days ago hadn't gone through. He'd put in for two weeks vacation after a particularly nasty (in his opinion) mission earlier in the week. So, instead of heading back to his RC, he tried to go to the Marquis' office. Normally, the hallways in HQ would have prevented him from getting there quickly, but he used his powers (A/N: what were those again?) and sheer force of will to make it straight there.

After he'd busted the door to Personnel down, the Marquis asked him, Agent Peregrin, what are you doing here?

"I want to know why you haven't approved my vacation paperwork yet," he answered with a cold fury.

I haven't approved your request because you had a vacation only a few months ago, and since you have given no justification for your current application

"The hell I haven't justified my application! You and that damm sunflower have been throwing an EXTREMELY big workload on me, and that's on top of all the stuff I'm doing with DoGA! I need a vacation NOW!."

Both Mary Sues and Geographical Aberrations are severely understaffed right now, so a heavy workload is to be expected.

"I don't CARE!" Peregrin's face was growing bright red with anger. "I'm taking. a. break."

Right then, Peregrin opened a portal to his home continuum. The Marquis tried to stop him and called security. Peregrin didn't want to be stopped, so he took his flamethrower and burned the Flower to a crisp.

As the daisy was dying, security stormed into the office. They didn't really like the Marquis, because he was maen and stupid, so they let Peregrin jump through the portal. (Later, they resurrected the Flower so no one would notice).

Two weeks later, Peregrin came back to his RC, noticeably calmer. He'd spent most of the last two weeks rampaging through Arbe, sacking concents and burning their libraries (he was still bitter about the Canon Librarian). His console had several messages from the Sunflower Official, who wanted to meet with him about the "incident" in the Personnel offices two weeks earlier.

After making himself at home, Peregrin went Upstairs and had his meeting. The SO told him that he'd thought about punishing Peregrin somehow, but that he had noticed that Peregrin was one of the better agents in the department, and so he could get away with a few incidents. He didn't even say a word about the DoGA mission. Then, the SO assigned him a partner, Tomash, so that they could learn about the ways of the PPC from an experienced agent. Peregrin was glad that the Flowers had seen reason about his need for a vacation, and he went back to his RC to meet up with his new partner, hoping that they were as awesome as he was.

(( OOC: I have driven Agent (ex-Fraa) Peregrin severely out of character. He would almost certainly never do any of these things without an extremely, extremely good reason. ))

Buzzard is the name for a lot of different birds. That picture is of a crested honey buzzard, which sometimes passes through Israel on its migration; I've headcanoned the buzzard to be of that particular species.

I take it this was meant to represent the mini-Gathering earlier this year? I enjoyed it, especially the bit when Eshakhar recognizes her old friend. It was very sweet.

Completely unrelated to Iximaz and Aegis'; it's been in the works for a while.
In which a Baron and a Knight meet for tea.

I've just scattered mention of Meta's throughout the rest of the mission, though I've said that "Mety" is debatable and am open to thoughts about that. Thanks for the heads-up!

I liked this mission a lot! I do have one question though- what happened to the minis? They were mentioned and then kind of poofed into thin air.

Sword and Blade don't appear in Epic Yarn. However this fanfic writer seemed to forget that Meta Knight appeared in Epic Yarn. Actually Meta Knight in Epic Yarn did help Kirby,after he was freed from Yin-Yarn.

So basically it should be Meta Knight telling Sword and Blade about helping Kirby in Epic Yarn if anyone.

Welcome back!

If I see any Friendliness Pellets lurking around, I'll let you know.

Thank you! I love my gifts! :D Perhaps if, one day, I get "The Permission" I will incorporate one into my set of gadgets!

At some point! I mostly have Doctor Who Fan-Fiction right now but I'm working on developing an Undertale AU! I have a Wattpad account but I need to delete my stuff and start over again, my most recent post was probably close to a year ago lol!

I've been using a program called Rosetta Stone. It's a bit frustrating at times, and I can hardly read any sort of kanji or hiragana, but I know how to hold basic conversation! :D

Arigatou gozaimasu! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!

*Dons a pair of shades and gets behind the wheel*

Thank you. XD

Thank you for the welcome! :)

As for pronouns, she/her pronouns are fine. I heard about PPC from my friend Matt Cipher.

What's worse, sleeplessness or a Star Warrior's uncanon girlfriend? Agents Backslash and Whitney are forced to resolve this dilemma in "Good Knight, and Good Luck".

I heard about people retaking some of the Potterverse tests, How does it work, if it's true?

May you both have many years of happiness to come!

A unicorn patronus, eh? Weren't we just talking about the tell-tale signs of having color-changing eyes?



On! Notice!

Heya! I've been great! I'm so excited to be here! Thanks for the warm welcome! :D