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Though I prefer using it as an ingredient in sauces and marinades.

Wait, is the Headless Horseman a Disney villain? Never heard of that before.

What's it's best eaten with? Can you eat it straight up?

Legolas was sitting under a bridge. Why Legolas was sitting under a bridge in the first place was not entirely apparent, though he seemed to be rocking back and forth and crying. Alvin and Xena looked at one another and waved their analyzer at him.

[Owen Evansted never intended this. A whimpering girl. Projection: 48.6%.]

"As I suspected," said Alvin, frowning at the analyzer. "This is the moment when the plot begins."

Xena tilted her head. "He's just sitting under a bridge, Al," she pointed out.

"Where in a moment he's going to meet Elrond. And then they're going to start a problematic relationship."

Xena's expression crumpled. She liked Elrond.

Alvin nodded, grimly satisfied. "Yeah. Think of the impressionable teenagers who'll read this and think that means it's okay to pursue romantic relationships with older men."

"How do we stop that?" demanded Xena, her hands balled into fists. Her knuckles grew whiter at the sight of Elrond approaching the bridge from above. "I don't want anything bad to happen to Elrond or Legolas! That's why I joined the Guardians of the Continuum!"

Alvin glanced at his partner. It would be too easy to call her oversensitive, except that would be gaslighting. "We're going to have to get Elrond some help with managing his desires," he said gently. He would touch her shoulder, too, except that would break fraternization rules. "Otherwise, he's going to continue to prey on younger elves."

Xena nodded. That made sense, of course -- it would stop future plots if he knew to control his instincts, and any impressionable children who happened to be reading Lord of the Rings fanfiction would learn the same lesson.

So basically this turned into "what would happen if the PPC had been created during the height of Tumblr anti-shipping wank", whoops :P There's reasonable discussions to be had about the average fic writer's responsibility to their audience, but a lot of the folks on Tumblr (and now Twitter) grossly oversimplified things into "if you ship this character with this character, you're literally supporting xyz", or "writing about x conflict means you endorse x conflict irl" -- hence the idea of stopping the plot before it can happen.

No, really. What series of translations did you use? It's more fun if others can replicate your steps. Plus, we can check and see which step brought Xena into it. {= D

~Neshomeh definitely never thought of Jay as a warrior princess before.

^ Best line of the entire thing that made sense.

-kA

Here is a Google Translated Version of An Introduction. The Ironic Overpower is the Great Depression, by the way.

—Ls, who apparently works at the BBC now.

They hate any form of plot—and thus hate both fan and original fiction, and want to destroy all continua. Mwa ha ha! (Seriously, though—that sounds like a fun thing to write.)

And I have no clue how Acacia became Alvin. Just...no clue.

And their CAD reading! [Edited by Owen Evansted. A very large woman. A current classic. 49.72% were not men. ] Who is this Owen Evanstead? What woman? What classic? What does that statistic mean? (Aside from 50.28% being men.)

—Ls

Also, I leave the Board for ONE DAY and a bunch of new posts appear out of thin air lol.

The reason: me laughing out loud would look sus when a sad radio serial is playing while we (Mom and I) wait for my brother to get off work.

"Written by Laurel. Women are legal. Written by Mary Sue." nearly got me though.

-kA, who is thinking about a new group they just made up: The Anti-Plotters, feat. Alvin and Xena. "No plot is allowed!" they scream, assassinating characters who dare Plot.

The rule established in TOS is that the Duty should happen at the first major canon break. This might be harder to pinpoint in an AU (ask me how I know :P) but it's essentially the place where the fic does something so out of left field for the characters involved that they really just aren't in the same plane of reality as the source material anymore. That could happen at 3k words in, or even 1k words, or 500 words in depending on the egregiousness. That could be the Suvian killing off a canon character who shouldn't be killed off, a bad slash couple suddenly gaining godlike powers, or any other weird thing that's a good stopping point for snarky agent commentary and a starting point for agent action. That's why Sergio says 6-8k is a good badfic length, because there's more stuff to work with to determine the proper canon break moment for doing the Duty.

...but I would consider that a bit long for a first mission, personally.

—Ls

I must say, that makes more sense.

All we need to find a little more writing time is a time machine?

Anyone have a TARDIS we could borrow?

—Ls

...and it makes just as little sense.

—Ls, done. Also, if anyone has any suggestions as to other Google Translate texts, please tell me.

(The following contains spoilers for the thing)

Geez, it's been a fast two years, and reading back on it I'm actually cringing a little at how... different my Agents were back then. Like, I had only gotten one mission out around this time so my Agents' personalities weren't really solid yet, and there's a few bits that I'm regretful about - namely that one scene with Charlie where they're like 'huh, never knew Jiwon did magic' when, well. He's literally a shapeshifter.

But besides that, this was nice to read again! Everyone did really well with their bits, the new writings were really nice, and seeing the Spirit of Imagination was neat - I was kind of unfamiliar with the character, so researching Nancy after this was fun. (Managing to actually frame the Key to Canon thing so it actually works, setting-wise, was impressive.) And the bit about the 'bad future' was an entertaining thought exercise. The behind-the-scenes was good too.

All in all, thanks for setting this up! The final result came out great.

Go figure.

Also, the opening line to the mistranslation:

"It happened again," Jay said, leaning against the console and staring at a bright yellow light. "Someone is working on a plot."

Hilarious.

—Ls will translate another section soon

Hey, this is fun! Nice to get to see some agent alternates in their home environment for a bit. It's funny seeing how recognizable these guys are in relation to their agent analogues! You've translated them into Twisted Wonderland well.

That excerpt from the textbook is intriguing, too! I wonder how many continua could have scraps of info relating to PPC cosmology, hidden away as notes in little corners . . .

A couple errors:
Besides, have you been walking around all day with you shirt buttons misaligned?
"your"

". . . the history of rainbow cottonpuff cultivation." with the twinkle . . .
Should be a comma instead of a period, since the sentence continues beyond the quotation.

—doctorlit wonders where the Headless Horseman dorm is. doctorlit demands a Headless Horseman dorm!

I was rushing, trying to get to bed . . .

—doctorlit has a character named Doc, so he prefers the full "doctorlit"

Long enough to have enough content to work with, but still short enough that you don't have to wade through reading something bad for too long.

Or, at least used to be for me, since I was more interested in my character's development than the actual sporking anyway.

running it through I Write Like?

You're mad at Google for the Dalek video?

(Do I want to know how the egg got on the counter?) And what a laundry to-do list! Er...laundry list of a to-do list. Stupid English.

--Ls has isues finding writing time insead of playing Harry Potter match-three games. Though he did get some writing done today. Anyway, he feels you, doc. (Are you okay with that nickname?)