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I really enjoyed the mission! The glitchiness is a fun take on bad SPaG, and the execution made me chuckle. A perfect mix of satisfying and humorous.

For some reason it feels like I have to justify the fact that I've been writing these so quickly, so that's fun. Onto the promised content!

In which a short badfic with terrible execution produces a similarly short mission and half a dozen butterflies. Continuum is Miraculous Ladybug.

RC #808: Mission 2

I've thought about it a bit, and maybe it was meant to be read as "two hearts which were both split in half by the separation", but that is just... such a clumsy way to phrase it.

And don't worry, even if this one was intentional, I meant what I said about plenty of mistakes down the line. This book is a sporker's goldmine. : D

I checked, but nope, "two hearts split into two" is not a transcription error. That's just how this book is, I'm afraid. Trust me, this is the least of the editing errors to come.

I think it might actually be easier to spot. Everyone getting pregnant all at the same time lets you rule out a lot of variation in environmental factors and narrow down your possible vectors to simply what applied to X group of people in X location(s). What changed this breeding cycle? Oh, the women whose babies had these complications all tried this new anti-emetic drug? Are there any other factors common across this group at this one time? Not really? HM. Plus, only one annual cycle means there's a whole year to figure out what happened before the next wave of pregnancies.

~Neshomeh

Read the first two parts. This sure looks Fun! {= D

Does the pre-prologue really say "two hearts split into two," or is that a transcription error? I'm sort of hoping it's the latter, because if not, damn, it's even worse than you realized. {X D

I seriously expected to get an introduction of Young Kisa where she was just called Girl. Slightly disappointed this was not the case.

Adding my agreement that "born for the sole purpose of loving [a guy]" is gross. Just, bleh. I want a bucket, too.

I'll be following this as it develops!

~Neshomeh

(Crossposted from Livejournal / Dreamwidth)

On January 14th, the Amazon 'Lord of the Rings' show revealed its first? main? fifteen cast members. In the absence of any other information, I thought it'd be fun to guess who (or mostly what) they might be playing.

My initial assumptions, before looking at any of the actors: the series will take place in the Second Age, centring on the island of Numenor and its contacts with Middle-earth proper. Given the title, it's likely the story will involve Sauron and the creation of the Rings - and given the nature of the media, I suspect that we'll see some very racially-homogeneous cultures. Specifically, I predict Numenoreans to be vaguely Mediterranean, Haradrim to be black, Elves to be as white as snow, and Dwarves to be... well, 'to look dwarvish', really. Someone will probably also be playing Sauron in pretty mode.

So with that aside, let's check out the cast.

Joseph Mawle

Mawle has been known to be part of the show for some time: he's supposed to be playing Oren, the series villain. And that's, like... that's just 'Sauron', mispronounced and with the S removed (perhaps he hangs out with Aruman from the Bakshi movie). He hardly fits the description of Annatar, Sauron's 'totally a good guy' disguise, but as Sauron per se, I can see it.

Robert Aramayo

Already my theories go out the window... Aramayo was previously announced as the male lead, (code?)named Beldor or Beldar. He is almost certainly a Numenorean character, but (particularly in this picture) is almost pasty-white. Alas. :(

If Oren = Sauron, could Beld[a/o]r = something? 'Aldarion' might work - he's a Numenorean character, and has one of the most developed stories of anyone. That would mean he was playing opposite Erendis, Aldarion's historical love interest.

Markella Kavenagh

Kavenagh was announced a while back as the female lead... Erendis? She could play the bitter princess, I'm sure. Alternately, with the (code)name Tyra, we could be looking at someone whose name begins Tar- - in other words, one of the Ruling Queens of Numenor. Tar-Telperien was the queen at the time of Sauron's rise, and would make for an interesting character; but Tar-Ancalime, first Ruling Queen, was the daughter of Tar-Aldarion, our prospective role for Aramayo. Given that they coexisted for a good 150 years, and had a moderately antagonistic relationship at that, it could definitely work.

One issue with this theory is that it would leave us without an obvious Erendis among the lead cast. That's not necessarily a problem - she died a hundred years before her husband - but she's one of Tolkien's only developed characters in Numenor, so it would be weird to miss her out completely.

As far as I can tell, that's all the roles with known names, and so we will move swiftly on to:

Owain Arthur

Arthur is Welsh, and we all know that people with funny British accents are dwarves in Middle-earth. He's got the face for it, too. If there is a Middle-earth portion of the plot, he could be playing Narvi of Moria, or even King Durin (III, I believe).

Nazanin Boniadi

If we're looking at Lily White Numenor, Boniadi is certainly not white enough to have been cast as an elf (a shame; she has the face for it). She could be playing a native of Middle-earth, or she could be a Minority Numenorean. Either way, I'm positive she will be the mother of:

Tyroe Muhafidin

... because mixed-race families are pretty clearly a step too far out of the 19th century for modern media. Muhafidin is likely a Numenorean child, but could be a Middle-earther in the Tal-Elmar mode (that would be a hilariously deep cut into the Legendarium, but Tal-Elmar does live in Aldarion's day...)

Tom Budge

Most of his pictures seem to have a fairly daft moustache, but on the basis of this one I'm comfortable guessing 'snooty elf'. Perhaps he could be Elrond?

Morfydd Clark

Clark is Welsh, but somehow I don't see her playing a dwarf. I would actually guess at her being an elf - and specifically, Galadriel. She's a major player in Middle-earth in the time period of the show, and is one of the only names people coming off LotR will recognise.

Ismael Cruz Córdova

Egads - racial diversity! Is Cruz Córdova playing a native of Harad, as my Hollywood Racism theory would hold? Possibly - but given the likely northern focus of the story, I suspect he's a Numenorean of Haradrim descent instead. And, as mixed race families Aren't A Thing:

Sophia Nomvete

... Nomvete is almost certainly playing his wife.

Ema Horvath

A probable Numenorean, Horvath looks like someone who would be an alto in a musical: someone who hangs around the lead female to make her shiny hair look even more shiny.

Megan Richards

From the pictures, Richards might actually need those glasses, which will make her role slightly tricky... anyway, I'm guessing Numenorean.

Dylan Smith

That face just screams 'I've been cast as a dwarf'. Either that, or a weather-beaten mariner. One of Aldarion's crew, maybe?

Charlie Vickers

Could play an elf, but probably another Numenorean.

Daniel Weyman

Weyman is quite clearly playing the Doctor, a time traveller usually depicted by David Tennant... what? No? Okay, I'm thinking Numenorean then.

So there we have it: a bunch of Numenoreans, a couple of elves, maybe a dwarf and some native mortals, and one Time Lord. What? No? But Numenor was originally created for a time travel story, so... are you sure? ;)

hS

He was a worthy guardian of Middle-earth, and will be sorely missed. I am so pleased, though, that he managed to publish all three of the Great Tales under their own covers before he passed into the West - you could tell it was a labour of love, and a fitting conclusion to a lifetime of scholarship.

hS

That would have been so much worse—taken so many years for people to figure out why babies kept being born with deformities that bad. It wouldn't exactly be like you could pinpoint it relatively quickly when you only have a specific time year to gather data from.

Ai! laurië lantar lassi súrinen, yéni unótimë ve rámar aldaron! Yéni ve lintë yuldar avánier mi oromardi lisse-miruvóreva Andúnë pella, Vardo tellumar nu luini yassen tintilar i eleni ómaryo airetári-lírinen.

Sí man i yulma nin enquantuva?

An sí Tintallë Varda Oiolossëo ve fanyar máryat Elentári ortanë, ar ilyë tier undulávë lumbulë; ar sindanóriello caita mornië i falmalinnar imbë met, ar hísië untúpa Calaciryo míri oialë. Sí vanwa ná, Rómello vanwa, Valimar!

Namárië! Nai hiruvalyë Valimar. Nai elyë hiruva. Namárië!

This is the Sunflower Captain speaking, and if you have any questions, my first Mate, the Matey de Sod, would be more than unhappy to answer them. Barring that, our army of custodial Weeds would probably not provide you too terribly inaccurate directions to where you wanted to go.

Believe it or not, we actually have a discoverable pool this time—considering it’s a staple of cruise ships, it would be criminal to not have at least a couple. There is also, of course, an incredibly well-stocked array of bars.

And please, remember to report all suspicious activity to our security Dandelions. There have been reports of glitter in the hallways and some of the staterooms, and we ask that guests not touch the substance, but call for assistance immediately. And remember, there are absolutely no violent, giggling stowaways with a penchant for glittery substances, and you should really just get on with it and enjoy your stay with Sunflower Cruises...

So, somehow, a bunch of agents have gotten on a cruise ship, including, from the looks of it, the pan+poly crew. And so, on top of the food, relaxing, and other cruise-ship goings-on, as shown in the picture Nesh posted, there’ll be plenty of ... comers.

Now, I’m wondering: Who’s captaining this thing? Talia? Or is she too busy with all comers (who’re interested, obviously) to actually run the boat?

Despite how infuriating this book gets sometimes, I'm actually having fun analyzing it too - I've been wanting to do it for years. This first chapter was actually quite horrible, but there are plenty of hilaribad scenes down the line. Just you wait.

Honestly, I found both the sporking material and your lines quite hilarious. Looking forward to more!

It's bad. Holy fuvg, it's so bad. Content warnings for swearing and abuse.

https://rc746.dreamwidth.org/2566.html

I hope these will be available in ebook format because I don't have the space to start another library in my dorm room. ^^;

A random advertisement at the bottom of the article said "You've Never Seen Luxury Like This On A Cruise Ship."

Naturally, I said to myself, "Challenge accepted!" and made this (mildly NSFW due to cleavage). Okay, so the background probably isn't meant to be a cruise ship, but I have seen cruise ships with pools, so go with it. {; P

~Neshomeh

I know something like this has been in the rumor mill for a long time. I think various fans have tried to get a comic made before? That being the case, I've seen art styles I liked better, but I could get used to a brighter, more cartoony style. Might help offset some of the darker stuff.

Now, if we could just get an official Pern graphic novel...

~Neshomeh

So, per various sources, there'll be at least one Animorphs graphic novel.

Trying to lean in more into how dark that book series actually is is an interesting decision, and I'm hoping they don't overdo it too much. ... Well, assuming they're still expecting kids to read these, as opposed to mainly people who grew up with the books (who, I suspect, will be slightly less bothered by the number of times people lose limbs in fight scenes).

It's overall interesting that Animorphs is getting a lot of spin-off attention these days. From what I can tell, the nostalgia factor is outweighing the hot mess that was the TV series back in the day.

(Trademark hS, since he most recently used that answer in another thread.)

Interestingly, one potential approach to this question led to the invention of the ficubus, which you may remember from the Sue-wraith article. With Archir the Emerald, Tungsten Monk and I very clearly had a character replacement on our hands, but we didn't want our characters to kill something that looked like a child, because yuck. That's why we made Archir a mojo-sucking energy parasite with the ability to take an innocent-looking solid form to disguise itself. That way, when the agents made it reveal its true form, it wasn't anything you'd feel sorry for.

But that's just how we dealt with it. Depending on how much of a Sue the kid is, you might try a good ol' puff of logic, or putting them through glitter dialysis, or relocating them somewhere they won't cause problems, or just giving them the time-out they so richly deserve and see if the lesson sticks. The solution to your average bratty Sue kid might well be good parenting!

... Hmm. So, transporting Sues across continua is frowned upon, but now I kind of want to see someone give a kid Sue to the Supernanny. Or possibly Cesar Milan, a la that one South Park episode where he shows up to train Cartman. I think that would be fun. {= D

~Neshomeh

Hello there. This is that user who you were having trouble identifying a few weeks ago who asked about character rupture. I've decided to just call myself Discofurby since that's my Fandom/Wiki name and so I'll be called that both on the PPC Wiki and here, so win-win.

With that out of the way, here's my concern: what to do if the Mary Sue is a kid?! Not children of Mary Sues (those go to the nursery) but Mary Sues who are kids themselves?

I'm fine with adult Sues dying, but with kids it just doesn't seem right. I don't like the mission "Anomaly", for instance, because in it, the agents killed a little girl in her sleep (a badly-written little girl, but still.)

So what do I do if I don't want to kill a kid, but there's a Sue who's a little girl (or Stu who's a little boy) to deal with?

Apparently someone has leaked (the first draft of) Colin Treverrow's script for Episode IX, the one he wrote before he was booted and replaced with J.J. Abrams Part 2. There's a video going into it in some detail, but Forbes and AV Club between them cover most of it. Reddit also has a blow-by-blow recounting of the video.

I guess the following is spoilers for the film that didn't happen? Is that a thing?

My feeling, from what I've seen, is that "Duel of the Fates" (not keen on the title to be honest) is much more of a sequel to The Last Jedi than Rise of Skywalker was. It seems to pick up and run with ideas that the actual film abandoned, and 'Kylo killed Rey's parents' is a clever inversion of the old story that the script for Empire had the Big Reveal down as 'Obi-Wan killed your father' to hide the I Am Your Father moment even from the cast.

I also get the impression that 'Duel' has a tighter plot than 'Rise', but that might come down to directing and editing rather than the script. Objectively, 'Rise' is a straightforward fetch quest with occasional diversions, so 'Duel' could well have had the same feeling.

The one thing 'Duel' does definitely worse is killing Kylo Ren as a villain. He was too complex in The Last Jedi to end it with 'actually it was all a lie I killed your parents hahaha I'm so evil'. I also think that 'Lovecraftian Sith monster' sounds cooler than it would actually be - in reality that would just be 'tentacles everywhere', and CGI tentacles get old quickly.

I also don't think that taking the story to Mortis, the weird 'ethereal realm within the Force' (per Wookieepedia), would have been a great move - it's simultaneously too Midichlorian (explaining the mystery of the Force) and too magical (it's inhabited by incarnations of the Force, that's too weird).

Ultimately, both scripts have their pluses and minuses; I think the film we got could have been better, but I also think the Trevorrow script could have been better, so.

What I would really like would be for them to revive the Star Wars: Infinities label, which produced AU comics for each of the original films, and repeat the concept of the The Star Wars comic, which adapted George Lucas' first draft of the very first film. A comic of the Treverrow script would be cool - as would comics of any other wildly different scripts out there, like if there's an early Phantom Menace or Force Awakens draft, or if Lucas actually wrote down his sequel ideas at any point! Multiple timelines are fun, and a comic would have an easier time with 'Lovecraftian' than a movie.

hS