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Remove your hand from my collar, please. And maybe you'd be better off speaking to the Department of Personnel. We don't issue pay directly to Agents.

Yup! They were still active when I joined. And on the Pit of Voles which is how I found them.

I could tell you stories about the first Sue invasion and everything!

it's a crossover. And is just far too much WTF. I have enough knowledge of those canons, but it's just... whaaat?

We try not to have too many new messages one after the other, otherwise things get shoved off the end of the Board and if something's happening further down the page it can end up getting lost. If there's a fairly recent thread you can add this topic to, it's usually best to post it there.

Don't worry about people missing it; most Boarders tend to be fairly observant about checking for new stuff.

The four Agents went down in a pile.

"Sorry, Sedri!" Nat scrambled to her feet as quickly as she could and pulled Sedri up after her, Cassie and Kelvin doing the same next to them.

"Quit the nattering and give us a hand!" Cassie shouted, grabbing her sword and diving straight into the pack of mirror multiverse Agents charging towards them. Kelvin hesitated for a moment, then followed, ending up locked in combat with someone who looked almost identical to him, except for the arrogant sneer on his face.

"What the...?" Kelvin gaped, lowering his blade for a moment. "Who are you?"

"Celebralmir Vinyalasse Talathion, Department of Arrests," the Elf replied with contempt, lashing out again and forcing Kelvin to throw his guard up or get split in half.

"Are ya insane?" Nat yelled, staring at the battle for a moment before drawing her sword and glancing at Sedri. "Come on, they're goin' ta get killed 'ere!" She shoved into the fight, hoping to reach Cassie before the smaller woman ended up getting jumped from behind.

And found this: Life in HFIL » reviews
An AU fanfic based in home for infinite losers. What really happens to all the bad guys? Lots of humour! Who does Freeza fall in love with? How does King Vegeta feel about his son marrying an earthling? How’s Vegeta going to cope with an eternity without
Dragon Ball Z - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 28,495 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 3-30-09 - Published: 2-18-07 - Vegeta & Bulma http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3400697/1/LifeinHFIL

Includes: Drunk!Saiyans, Dead!Vegeta, Rapist!Yamcha, and my personal favorite: Frieza and Hitler doing the nasty.

...Agent Sedri sat bold upright.

Oh... no.

Oh, yes. Black walls, mutilated flashpatches... the EPC was back. Springing out of her chair, Sedri cursed her current lack of partner and snatched up every weapon in sight.

"Is this some kind of joke?" she demanded of the Ironic Over-Power. "Some sort of fun you have, playing April Fool's on us? Or is there some All-Hallows-Eve-like thinning of boundaries at this time of year? Hmmm? And me with my bloody door broken, too."

Kicking her way out of the shattered wood (long story - don't ask on pain of flamethrowers), Sedri carefully made her way through an eerie, quiet corridor, hoping to find a friendly face, one not warped by the EPC-

When the Narrative Laws of Comedy kicked in and she was suddenly bowled over by Agents Cassie, Nat, and Kelvin.

Adder swallowed hard, gripping her cricket bat. "I don't like the sound of those footsteps. I vote portal out."

"Seconded," Deuce agreed, picking up his daggers again. "I might could blast 'em with fire, but I don't wanna take that sort of chance. And Cthulhu's bleeding."

Adder glanced worriedly at the ferret. "Doesn't look too bad; you should've seen the other one. Still, though, you're right." She placed the injured white ferret in her backpack and shouldered it. "Though, with Thu in my pack, no more action rolls for me."

Read the post by Ugo and me.

Chase jumped over some furniture on the way to the weapons locker she kept and opened the doors. The collection was small, but she managed to have secured a Zat from the SG continuum, which she placed in a holster. She threw an old and unpolished keyblade to Akemi.

"I thought we would have had more time before it went all FUBAR. At least enough time to get a jump on some of the patrols. So do we portal out or try to fight our way out the door?"

She offered a katana to Cal and rummaged through the rest of the weapons to find something that she could use as backup to the Zat, when she heard the footsteps of the backup the Stu had called. Settling for one of the two Reaver axes in the locker, Chase shuts and locks it.

"Make your choice, we don't have time!"

through the hallways, locked in combat with their respective mirror-selves. Cthulhu the ferret had emerged victorious over his own opponent, though he was limping badly, and Adder could not be sure that all of the blood staining his white fur had belonged to the EPC ferret.

Deuce was making a grave mistake; every now and then, he would look up, frantically searching for the familiar door to RC 6664. Because of this, they were nowhere near it.

Finally, Deuce decided to ignore his partner's earlier advice concerning pyrokinesis. Concentrating, he summoned a flame and sent it blasting into his opponent's face. Unfortunately, the thing refused to die.

"BLIGHT IT ALL TA HELL!" The small Agent snarled. Stooping, he scooped the injured ferret up in one hand and grabbed Adder's jacket sleeve with the other. "Come on! We have to find safety somewhere!"

Adder aimed one final blow at her opponent with her cricket bat before joining her partner in a full-out sprint down the hallway. An RC door was ajar; without thinking, Adder grabbed her partner and flung him through it. Then, diving into a shoulder roll that would have made her sifu proud, she made it into the open RC. Flipping over onto her back, she shoved the door closed with her foot, causing the pursuing EPC agents to smack into it in a rather un-Sueish way.

Deuce lay on his side, breathing hard with both fatigue and relief, and Adder looked up to see whose RC they'd charged into. To her immense relief, she recognized one of them.

"Why, hello, Cal," she greeted, somehow managing her braces-studded Cheshire Cat smile. "How's the coffee maker? Doing well, I hope?"

"Reformed, eh?"

Alex lowered the lightsaber to the floor but kept it activated. Giving the Sue a distrustful look, the Agent glanced at the now-closed RC door before looking back at the other three Agents.

"Now what? Are we just going to cower in here and hope those imposters go away?" he demanded, conveniently forgetting his own flight moment earlier.

Chase had just opened her mouth to reply when footsteps began echoing off the Suevian Surface corridor outside. All of the Agents froze as the footsteps came closer and closer.

"Clear." a high-pitched, irritatingly sweet voice called, its owner moving closer as it did so. There was the creak of an RC door opening.

"Clear."

The EPCer was only one door away now.

"Clea-what's this?" the Suevian Agent cried, triumph in her voice.

"Please...don't hurt me. Please!"

There was a blaster shot and a cut-off, agonized scream.

"What's going on, honey?" a deeper voice asked.

"Nothing, lovemuffin. Just one of those PPC murderers. She's in the great RC in the sky now."

The two Suevians laughed. Cal clenched his fists, shaking with anger, a reaction shared by the other Agents.

The Sue walked over to RC 25.

"It's locked," she called to her partner. "Alohomor-"

She was cut off when Alex pressed his lightsaber against the door up to its hilt. There was a gurgle, followed by a wet smack.

"Honey?" the Stu called, then gasped. "Backup!"

Apparently aware of her surroundings again, the android broke free from Cal's grasp, wrestled with Akemi for a moment and managed to get her hands on the cookie with the most chocolate chips per square centimeter. She greedily swallowed it in one gulp.

"You're an android, you don't even need to eat!" exclaimed Cal. "And since when do you even have a sense of taste?"

But Ellen ignored him, drifting back into her oblivious state (this time, imitating Heath Ledger's Joker with a rather creepy accuracy). With a deep sigh of resignation, Agent Cal turned to Recruit Chase.

"I think we'll have to make do without her until she's repaired."

"How about a magic trick?" asked Ellen to Akemi in a hoarse voice. She drew a pencil from her pocket and stuck it into the nearest piece of furniture. "I'll make this pencil disappear."

His face turning pale, Cal dived at Ellen and quickly switched her off before she could attempt her trick on anyone. She fell limp to the floor with a thump, still smiling. Wow, that was close, thought the young agent.

"Well," he decided aloud, "maybe we better try to contact the others to join them somewhere. We can't stay holed up in here forever, but we can't fight the Enforcers all by ourselves either, no matter how totally kick-ass that would be."



(Going to bed now.)

After that, you make the page invisible on the sidebar through the site manager, and put the link to the mission page on the mission log page. It's easy, just takes a little while.

I got it from a thread in the "Computing" forum at Roliana.com.

Chase held tighter to the twitchy android and tried to follow Cal's advice. After a few twists and turns she could hear the voices sound farther and farther away, but what really made her sigh in relief was the presence of RC 25.

"Come on in," she practically shoved the two Agents in, "It's a mess, don't mind the Sue, she's reformed."

"I found chocolate cookies!" Akemi squealed, painfully oblivious to the hostile takeover.

"At least that's what they're telling me."

I'm trying to put up my first mission, and I've set up a mission log page. But how do I make it so that, rather than posting it on the mission log page itself, I have it link to a separate page, so that I don't have all the missions on one super-page?

The scream went up as Agent Adder hurled herself headlong into the fray. An EPC Agent exactly identical to herself (but with finer features, large brown eyes, and long, flowing brown hair) attacked with a bejeweled short sword. With a squeal, Adder leapt back...

There was a shrill, angry chattering, followed by a fuzzy white blur, as Cthulhu the ferret pounced onto Adder's mirror self and sank his teeth into her face. Adder barely had enough time to recover before Cthulhu's opposite, a ferret with blinding white fur and blazing red eyes, leapt out to attack its counterpart. Snow-white fur ran red with blood.

"Thu!" Adder roared, bringing her meticulously sharpened reed knife around in a sideways slash. Her own counterpart leapt back before returning to the offensive.

Deuce's eyes were narrow with fury when he found his own mirror self. Without wasting his breath on battle cries, he sank his dagger into the thing's shoulder. Sharp pain lanced through his side when it retaliated.

The two nearly identical opposites lashed out at each other, and blood (both realistically dark red and oddly pinkish) spattered the ground.

Nat Freidar sat bolt upright in bed as a loudspeaker blared out.

All agents to report to the nearest Sueification station for reeducation. Despatch is currently readying a list of the most flagrant goodfic that needs to be flamed. All agents to report to the nearest Sueification station.

"What the gwaedlyd uffern is going on?" she grumbled, but stopped short on getting out of bed as she noticed that the room was the wrong colour. "Um, am I seein' things, or is the room..."

"Black? Yeah." Cassie turned round from the cupboard where the weapons were kept. "I thought it was some April Fool's Day joke when I went to look it up, but now it looks like there's an actual invasion or something."

"Didn't we 'ave enough o' that last year?" the lanky girl complained, sitting on the edge of her bed for a moment before what Cassie had said sank in. "What?" She jumped up and grabbed her own weapons. "Come on then!"

"Is that really such a good idea?" said the third occupant of the room, who up till then had been silent. Kelvin shifted nervously as both women glared at him. "Um, we don't know what's going on, is all..."

"Then we need to go and find out," Cassie replied. "Come on, grab your stuff." She glanced over to the minis' bed, but neither of them were in the RC. Ah, well. Guess they can take care of themselves better than we could.

A random pair of EPC Agents got the surprise of their lives - and deaths - a minute later when three PPCers burst out of the room next to them.

"That wasn't so bad," Nat said as she wiped off her sword. "More Sues. They should be easy enough ta deal with."

"Wait a moment." Kelvin was examining one of the bodies. "This looks like our flashpatch, except for the sword."

"No kidding..." Cassie looked around at the now-unfamiliar black corridors. "I really don't like this. Let's try and find someone else. Maybe they'll know what's going on."

There was total agreement from the other two, and the trio set off warily down the corridor, keeping a close lookout for more trouble.

Of course, rounding the next corner to come face to face with a large group of Sueish-looking people would probably have counted as more trouble.

"RUN!"

"Now what?" Kelvin asked as they tried to outrun the gang.

"We run an' find 'elp!"

Ellen, still thrashing wildly in an attempt to get back on the floor and resume her dance, took the voice of Bill Clinton to recite a few beautiful haiku about the superb efficiency of Warsaw's sewer system.

"Ignore her," Agent Cal advised, running alongside Chase with a firm grip on Ellen's other hand. "When she's like that, there's no point talking to her." He looked around. "I don't know the place much better than you do. But the best is just to run at random. If we have a specific destination, we'll never find it."

He ducked in the nick of time as a shuriken whistled mere inches above his head. His fists tightened in anger; the bastards had almost damaged his fedora.

Hi. I joined on March 12, so it hasn't been exactly a month, but someone told me that I could apply on the first of the next month if my writing is good enough, so I thought I'd post some and give it a shot.

Agent bios: http://agent-chliever.livejournal.com/550.html

Writing sample: http://agent-chliever.livejournal.com/1066.html

First badfic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4000661/8/YuYuHakushoHumanborn_demon

The sample will also function as a sort of prologue. Please forgive the looooong digression on the history of decommissioning in the PPC; I think I've been reading too much Victor Hugo.