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That's just... absurd. Horrible. Sick. And stupid.

It does give me hope for the likelihood of getting my own stuff published, though.

Like, I think I remember seeing your de-lurk and some subsequent discussion, but I can't really remember what all was said. ATSLT rings a bell tho.

And I have no clue what badfic that is, but I've survived worse, I'm sure. I've actually read C***br**n all the way through (and lived to tell about it!) To Google!

*rides off valiantly to add another notch to her bad slash bedpost.*

1. I will remember to frisk any Kender agents before return to HQ for items "lost" on the mission.
   - and return them to their rightful owners

Alex walked through the door and closed his eyes as a wave of sound and light washed over him. Various Agents, only a few of whom he recongized, were standing around nibbling on appetizers and holding drinks. They were mostly humanoid, although there was an Andalite and what looked suspiciously like a Dalek.

Looking back, Alex saw that it was indeed a Dalek and quickly backed away until it was out of sight. Wandering aimlessly, he wondered what Drental was doing: the Mandalorian had decided to return to their RC instead of indulging in what she saw as decadent and wasteful. Seeing a table loaded with refreshments, he made this way through the crowd, eyes fixed on the neat stacks of plastic bottles.

The nurse had called it Bleepan or something like that, but Alex didn't care what it was called. All he knew was that things had become a lot less unpleasant once he'd taken the pill. Supposedly there were more bottles of this Bleepan on sale in the General Store, but there hadn't been any when he'd visited. It looked like his luck was finally beginning to turn.

I watched with some amusement as Alex eagerly slid through the crowd towards the refreshment table, sipping my Coke as I discretely followed him. Closing my eyes for a second, I reached out to the others and saw the plot threads which connected them all to each other and to Alex. I knew everything there was to know about Alex, not only because he was my creation. In many ways, he was me. It was the differences which made him interesting.

I'd dropped in shortly before Alex had stumbled across the party; I'd made it quite clear that I was to be out of sight and in the middle of the crowd by the time he arrived. No wonder Vonnegut went a little mad in Breakfast of Champions: this sort of power is quite intoxicating. On a whim, I made a random Agent spill his drink onto Alex. The Bleeprum splashed onto his grey jacket, staining it and leaving him spluttering. As the Agent started profusely apologizing, I approached him from behind, blending in perfectly with the Agents and my fellow Boarders. I couldn't quite repress a chuckle as I planned the next few accidents; they'd come close to topping his last mission. Not quite topping, but it was the best I could do when there were so many others limiting my control. I looked up slightly and saw Alex looking back at me. He seemed to be frozen in shock for a moment, which was all the time I needed to spin around and flee. Unlike Vonnegut, I had no intention of meeting my creation here or anywhere else, but this was especially unexpected. As I dropped the charade and began to run in earnest, one thought echoed inside my head.

This is NOT supposed to happen...

886) Maito Guy and Bruce Armstrong must never be allowed to meet.
-Unless the purpose is to destroy a Sueworld with the ensuing explosion of youthful energy.

"Er, hello?" A large amount of shaggy brown hair peeks around the doorframe, followed shortly by a girl. "I'm Maudlin. I heard Boarders were invited too... and besides, I brought gifts! Care for a Warhead?" She waves a bag of the sour candies triumphantly.

Aieeee!
Welcome to the PPC Board. Please, deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *holds out bucket marked "Warg fodder"* We tend not to need it here. Have huggles, and know that you will be protected from the fuzzy horror here! Hah!
-Mad Maudlin

*hands agent pads such cigarettes with the caps and flees*

Easier than blowing one up is to put caps from a cap gun in there. Tends to really surprise people.

What? No!

The greatest book title ever? Yes. Yes it is.

Whether the book itself is so great I have no idea, but I definitely know that this is a book I will be buying for people just to see their reactions. Basically it's 'Pride & Prejudice' with zombie scenes inserted. I'm trying to decide whether to be amused or, as an Austen fan, affronted.

Here is an article with details. Poor Miss Austen is turning in her grave.

www.chroniclebooks.com/index/main,book-info/store,books/products_id,7847/title,Pride-and-Prejudice-and-Zombies/

1. I will not blow up canon planets.
   -Even if they're populated by Canon Sues.

879) I will not use Kurotsuchi Mayuri's Super Human formula to incapacitate a Sue before assassination. Torture is not allowed.

880) I will not dance down the corridors singing 'I Am What I Am' at full volume.
-Especially if my singing voice has been likened to a car being crushed.

881) I must not spike Edward Cullen's animal blood with human blood.

882) I will not set up a death match between a Twilightverse vampire and any incarnation of Wolverine, Lady Deathstrike or X-23.

883) I will not start or participate in Pokemon battles in the corridors of HQ.

884) If I am ever in the Pokemonverse for a mission, I will not seek out Ash or any of his friends for a Pokemon battle.
- Unless it is to distract them from the assassination of a Sue.
- Likewise, I will only challenge Sues to Pokemon battles in order to distract them from my partner's approach from behind.

885) I will not disguise myself as a Goa'uld if the majority of the fic takes place in the SGC.
- On the same note, disguising myself as a Wrath in Atlantis is also a bad idea.

now we just have to figure out where to go form here. who wants to do the tech's technobabble?

1. I will not substitute Twilightverse vampires for their incidentally-named kin in any other continuum.
   - Nor will I leave agents who are unfamiliar with Meyers' vampires alone with a TwiVampireSue and a stake.
   - Or garlic.
   - It will not end well.
   
   876. I will not recruit canon characters to make difficult kills for me. - Agent Iza
   
   878 a. My disguise generator is a sensitive piece of equipment and so I will not whack it against my console when it 'accidentally' gives me fur.
   - Or feathers.
   - Fangs are acceptable.
   
   878 b. My console is a sensitive piece of equipment and so I will not hit it with any random objects when it fails to give me a brain-safe mission.
   - Or a secret holiday to my paradise of choice.

Courtesy the Tangled Webs site

This includes everything by myself, Neshomeh, Laburnum and Ansela, and all except one post by Kitsune. The material by Ugolino and Heliomance isn't included, as it isn't part of the main thread as yet, and also doesn't have pictures to go with it.

I've done a minimum amount of editing, mostly to a) put everything into the past tense, and b) introduce consistancy by making Naomi "he" and Drake "she" in all narration. Dialogue references have been left as they are. I've also adjusted the spelling (although one word left me stumped -- the DORKS "phrapped" and I have no idea whether that's what was intended, so I've left it) and punctuation in places.

I will be taking the pictures and storing them on the Tangled Webs image host, but haven't done so yet, so try not to delete anything. And, Laburnum, if you're reading, I know there's some difficulties concerning use of Stormsong and Skyfire, so if it's a problem we can either edit the story or take it down. It's not linked in to the site, so at present it's just all together for convenience.

hS

Agent pads is a smoker. a chian smoker it seems. do we really want to blow up on of her beloved cigarrettes?

I think that it will be fine if she doesn't. Mandalorian assassins work to supress their feelings don't they? And if she really doesn't care then there she wouldn't need bleeprin.

Shoot staight and run fast

Drake looks around and heads for teh meat, smelling it, and then stabbing a piece of it with his combat spork and tasting it.

Naomi sighed, and walked over to Entropy.
"Greetings. I'm Naomi, and that fuzzball is drake, and DRAKE!!!!!! get away from...."
*splash*
Drake had leaned against a barrel, knocked it back, landed on it and shattered it, landing in the rum.

"Errrrrr, ATTENTION ALL AGENTS DO NOT KILL MY PARTNER!!!!"

Drake in the meantime had turned from himself into a small fox, albiet a sparkly, glittery fox with LARGE CUTE EYES, a heart shaped nose and a bow. in other words, a CAF

I am confused, the OC isn't physically present? I send you all the luck i can live without. Use it well :)

Shoudl we start it here, the annoyance here? I have a good idea of how to start it, adn what caused it.

*evil laughter*

1. I must remember that during the PPC's Quidditch matches, that accidentally taking out Lux is not a good idea. It only makes her think she likes you.
   
   872. I will not genderbend agents in the hall, it ust confuses them.
   
   873. I will not induce mass genderbedning of PPC HQ just to see if it will work on the flowers.
   - Do we even want to find out what would happen?
   
   874. I will not give agent Pads any exploding cigarettes, especially if i value my life.