how do we continue from here? maybe drake's flashpatch migth cahnge others into a harem girl style outfit?that is waht teh portal did to him when he went through it.

Very hilariously unexpected.

1. Traumatizing Amano Ginji in order to get him to toast all the 'Sues in the vicinity with lightning will result in an investigation of my sanity and capability, not to mention angry (armed) visits by fellow agents for harming a canon.
   
   932. While photographs of Lee "Apollo" Adama in various stages of undress are acceptable currency in HQ, pieces of his clothing are not.
   
   933. Revealing canonical crossdressers to other canons is usually in poor taste and/or dangerous to the canons. I will refrain from doing so unless it is necessary to the mission and I neuralyse them afterward.
   
   934. The Suncrusher is not a toy.

NJO is NOT CANON, damnit! (And this is why my agents aren't allowed to work in Wars-verse.)

You do realize that this means Suevian and other counterparts will be there as well? It would be a very interesting meeting(s), to say the least...

Now I want to write that fic. :p

Risa stayed in the RC. He won't leave unless a mission comes in and he needs to track down Ansela.

hS, I noticed a spelling mistake in one of my parts. The 'breath' towards the end of the penultimate paragraph of the first part should be 'breathe'.

928) Holby City ED is not a substitute for Medical, even if I do think that my injury is too embarrassing to explain to Doc Fitz
- St. James' ED is also out of bounds
- Nor am I to go to any other canonical hospital for treatment
- Or to any World One hospital
- No, not even if I neuralyse the entire department to remove any trace of my presence
- If the injury was acquired in the continuum and the target is in that department, then that is okay

929) Ronon Dex is not my 'snuggle bunny'

930) I will not taunt the angry System Lord
- Or the hungry Wraith Queen

http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/2206.html

If you don't read the comic, all you need to know is that the entire universe (multiverse?) has been destroyed, and everyone is on the Infinite Featureless Plane of Death.

What I'm wondering is if David Morgan-Mar has heard of us. O.o

~Neshomeh

1. I will not attempt to create my own Daleks.
   923. Shockeye is not to be allowed anywhere near the cafeteria or kitchens thereof.
   -Or any restaurant.
   -Especially if anyone around suddenly looks older.
   924. I will not serve anyone blimmet meat.
   -Nor will I give them a blimmet coat to wear in the DragonKeeper Chronicles.
   925. I will not recruit a Taxxon without giving it a species change.
   926. I will not tamper with any TARDIS' chameleon circuit.
   927. I will not recruit a Nazgûl.

http://hungryugolino.livejournal.com/1133.html

1. I will not recruit shady-looking OCs who use mind-affecting techniques on a regular basis.
   -Especially not from the Star Wars universe.
   -That goes double for weird old men claiming to be Jedi Masters.
   -And kittens.
   - If I do, I understand that ending up strapped to a bunk andsurrounded by racks of furry creatures is the most probable outcome.
   
   920. It is not necessary to destroy a planet to remove a Sue from the canon. Really.
   
   921. Switching Spartans from Real Life/300 with those from the Haloverse is not funny.
   -Leonidas with a rocket launcher is not something we want to have to deal with.

But meant doors as in exterior doors. I edited it to door in the compiled version to make it clear. I made a couple of other changes (I think notably Naomi looking in/out of the door) to make that fit. But yeah, bodge job.

hS

It's the goat half doing the wossnames though, as it were. All the human half does is a bit of kissing. That counts as bestiality to me.

Well, that clears things up nicely. Keep up the good work.

3 is still being looked over; it's all but done though. I'm currently working on #5.

1. Doctors Crell Moset, Demagol and Jenna Zan Arbor are never to be allowed to meet.
   -The same goes for any other doctors and scientists of their brand of cruelty.
   899. If anybody has wound up in the same room as Agent Cavan Shenn, I will not lock the door on them.
   -He can lock the door on his own, thanks all the same.
   -I'm not to lock anybody in with Luxury, either, even to keep her from chasing me.
   900. I will not engage in drinking contests with members of species that have more than one liver, unless I am similarly equipped.
   901. No matter how balloon-like that canon superheroine's chest is, pins will not make her deflate. I will not experiment in this matter.
   -It is acknowledged that attempting to deflate Sues may still be considered amusing.
   902. I am not the long-lost Hair Washing Servant of Severus Snape.
   903. Glitter is not a food condiment.
   904. Unless I have found a coherent and efficient alternate means of communication, I will refrain from taking vows of silence.
   -Interpretive dance does not count as an alternate means of communication.
   905. Unless there is actually a location requiring it, a ballerina costume is not a suitable disguise for my mission.
   906. No, I can't shave the Wookiee.
   907. I am not to steal Wash's dinosaurs.
   -If I do, I deserve whatever Zoe does to me.
   908. My partner's eyebrows are not challenging me to a duel.
   909. Most Agents from the Trekverse have already had the 'Sexy Data Tango' inflicted upon them. I will not force them to endure repeat hearings.
   -I will never, never, never play that song where Data, Tasha Yar or any other canon character can hear it.
   910. I am not a Barbie Girl, the PPC is not a Barbie World, and offers to 'undress me everywhere' will lead to no sympathy whatsoever if Lux hears me.
   911. Despite the name, it is still wrong to convince somebody to drink a Molotov Cocktail.
   -Unless they're a Sue.
   912. I am to accept that I deserve both the stab wounds and the long litany of similar canon names if I imply Agent Shadowflame's name resembles that of a Sue.
   -She has a long list from Star Wars history, and she's not afraid to use it.
   913. NO, the Naruto tailed beasts do not belong in a petting zoo.
   -Further inquiries will see you directed to FicPsych, in the worrying case that you're unable to see why this is a Very Bad Idea.
   914. Even if I'm sure I'd do a better job, I am expressly forbidden from staging coups, mutinies or other takeovers to replace a canon character in a position of authority.
   915. If I can't get the mission done without that inflatable barnyard animal, it's time I re-evaluated my grasp of PPC procedures.
   916. My fellow Agents are not there to be dissected.
   -Even if I've never seen their like before.
   -EvenEspecially if I have a 'really interesting scientific theory'.
   918. I will not pit conventional vampire slayers against unconventional vampires.
   -No. Buffy will not be fighting that Anzati. Ever.

That VK one is just, ugh. That, that thing is not Kiryuu Zero. I don't know what manner of foul beast it is, but 'tis not the stoic Vampire that we all know and love.

Methinks that a marathon of VK and VK Guilty and location of a site holding VK manga scanlations may be in order so I can properly assess this atrocity.

That badfic was quite the steaming pile of crap; I'm glad it's dead. Menstrual cycles and insanity... What are the odds that it was actually a troll? Anyway, good work on the mission. Although the number's confusing - it says #4, but I don't see #3 anywhere on the LJ. By the way... A Trauma Center reference? Heh.

Fandom: Vampire Knight

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4850003/1/Letstryagain
"Let's try again" by Aleydis Emma Jade
Rated T - Mpreg - Yaoi
Zero/Kaname

Here's a continuum I haven't seen any missions of. Basic failure-biology-is-fail situation, and the author has loads more of these on her profile... Worst part is, the reviewers like it. Erk. People just don't value their Bio lessons as much these days.


Fandom: Gyakuten Saiban/Ace Attorney
Objectionable. Very, very objectionable.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4412735/1/TheEmporersWives
"The Emporer's Wives" by shinobug
Rated M - Rapefic
One-sided Phoenix Wright/several OCs, Apollo Justice/OC
No. Just no. Phoenix Wright as a rapist is killworthy on its own.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4755220/1/OfCumand_Coffee
"Of Cum and Coffee" by Darkclaw1122
Rated M - Rapefic
Godot/Miles Edgeworth
Another disgustingly OOC rapefic. At least this one didn't have a boatload of bad OCs in it.

Someone should 'turnabout' these fics... preferably in the direction of a guilty verdict and a large amount of pointy objects.

Also, I haven't seen these fandoms in anything PPC-related yet. Hopefully, someone knows at least one of them.

Although it is technically only semi-bestiality. Ye Goddesses, I just said "only". Sorry.

Shouldn't this be labeled "off- topic"?

895.) Even if it is labeled Dis Continuity by TvTropes, you will not regard any Novel/OVA/Episode/Misc as Uncanonical unless the writer said so.
-Yes, that includes The Dune Prequels (and sequels), The New Jedi Order series, and the Disney Drect-to-Video Movies.
896.)You will not allow a Honored Matre inside HQ. Ever.
897.) You will not subject anyone to the Spice Agony
-Even if the subject is likely to survive it.

At the moment, there's nowhere to go. We have a lack of internal consistency what with people dropping in and out of existence and, with the DORKS already recovered, no plot. So I think a bit of re-writing is in order before anything else happens. I'd like to see the foxhunt go on for a while, at least. We can still have Ansela and Risa catch Drake if they want to, but not so quickly. I'd also like to write my agents back into the scene to fill out that stretch where the RP left me behind.

Another problem is that I misinterpreted the door in hS's original post. He wrote "the door of HQ." I read "the doors of HQ," plural, and figured one of them would be the door to RC #999. Do we want the setting to be the corridor outside that RC, or something else?

~Neshomeh

Here, have some fire on a stick!

First off, I've gotten off on a new project: a fic series based on the first Michael Bay TRANSFORMERS Movie and only the first. Although based on the trailer for the second, I will introduce Ravage as a rebuilt composite of a half-dead Scorponok and the Mountain Dew Earthbot (who had been killed by Soundwave after begging for an end to the pain that had been inflicted upon him by the humans to turn him into a hound).

Anyway...

My main area of concern is my main female OC: Edith McPherson. She's from Louisville Kentucky, white lower middle class and had a professional-turn-romantic-turn-nookie relationship with Miles Lancaster (aka Best-human-friend of Ladiesman217) while an exchange studient in SoCal. In usual narrative fashion, no protection was used and thus was concieved Alvin. Personal choice and a somewhat conservative social environment resulted in a closed adoption, and in any other universe that would hae been the end of the story (aside from Miles developing a lovelorn alcohol problem and Edith going through any number of psychological dramas and traumas).

However, Starscream, upon return to the Crashed warship NEMESIS on the Martian surface (and with forced assitance from a Barricade fearing execution for desertion) discovers something about her (and her son) that would not only give him and the remaining Decepticons the ultimate bargaining chip... but would clear the path for the war to come to a successful end.

Because 10 years ago, on a sight-seeing trip to the Grand Canyon, a bored, 8-year-old Edith wandered off and discovered a dark, shiny cube with funny symbols roughly 1 inch square. gripping it in her right hand and wanting to take it back to show her parents, the cube nevertheless began crackling blue and practically dissolved into her hand.

She spent the rest of the day at the Visitor's medical center getting the burn treated, but when she arrived home strange things began happening whenever she touched electronic devices with exposed skin (main tv switching channels erratically, toaster running away). A fear of things electronic was formed, later abated in her teens by wearing gloves and long sleeves whenever using a computer or calculator. When Alvin was born, the cube manifested itself as a flexible, growinng crystaline lattice-work on the anterior surface of his spine.

So, when (perhaps intentionally) fragmented medical records documenting the death of the adoptive couple's first child reach the Decepticons, decisive action is taken. Edith is located, shown the findings and used as a caretaker for Alvin as Barricade travels to Autobot territory to invite Prime to Starscreams ultimate offer: not only a mere truce, but a repair of Cybertronian society into a factionless prewar Ideal, led by one Prime and one Lord High Protector (of course, Starscream nominates himself for the position).

Now, I'm not trying to Flanderize anyone. The remaining Decepticons go along with this, but that does not mean that they are suddenly "Nice", or immediately become heroic Autobots. There are malicious pranks, political wrangling and a lingering distaste for organics.

Likewise, I'm trying to keep Edith from becoming a Sue: Instead of reveling in her former powers, she was afraid of them. And she fears for Alvin not only dying, but also being raised without proper knowledge of what he can do or how to avoid large messes involving cars, soda machines and videogames.

There is also something else, far out in space, that is interested in the Allspark. And this thing will not be interested in human wellfare.

To review my work so far, theres my Livejournal or Ff.net pages

http://gandalf-beige.livejournal.com/

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/449017/

So, does anything have to improve, or is there a movie litmus test or what?