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Hey there, newb here. It's been a long time since I've been interested in badfic (especially ever since the fabulous FicBitches fell into inactivity) so imagine my delight that there was a yet active badfic sporking community.

I came across PPC not long ago when, on a whim, a friend of mine Googled a gem of amalgamated bad!yaoific we'd written once upon a time called "Immortality in Fickle Affection," which was listed among the unclaimed badfic on the PPC wiki. Intrigued, I decided to see what the PPC's modus operandi involved, and liked what I saw.

Anyway, the long and short of it is that I'm interested in claiming "Immortality in Fickle Affection" for myself, as it looks like no one's taken up that cause yet (*sadface*). Being one of the writers on the original fic though, I see where this could just lead to a conflict of interests--and far be it from me to harsh anyone's buzz if someone else had their sights on this one. If not, sweet.

Thing is, I don't really know that this fic is capable of (or meant for) fixing in the usual PPC style when the very body of the text is grounded firmly in the "hey, it would be kind of awesome and ...ed up if this happened next!" school of thought. A mess of genital mutilation and yaoific conventions from start to finish.

So I was thinking, what if by way of "fixing" this fic, I went in and provided direct context for every line/event/bit of characterization seen in it? The writing process of "Immortality in Fickle Affection" was passing it between Tekki and myself to try and get the other to laugh, and those lulz were generally based on exaggerated observations of the characterization and badfic tropes of 4+ years ago. Of course, this would also be explaining the jokes, and that always makes things less funny. (Of course, when the decision was made to upload it to the internet, my assumption was that the sheer ridiculousness of the text would speak for itself, but it appeared--with exceptions--not to be the case.) Thoughts? I could, instead, attempt a more by-the-book PPC fixing solution, but something tells me that it would involve a complete renovation that would render it unrecognizable.

Or if you'd just rather I not touch it and leave someone else to make with the funny on "Immortality", I can do that too. I defer to the hivemind.

"Well it wasn't MY fault!"

Agent Sedri growled, smacking her partner with a rolled-up newpaper that, thanks to a printing error, was entirely pritned in black ink on black paper. Sedri claimed she could still read it. "It bloody well IS," she replied. "You're the Trek expert, Iza - you SAID he wasn't a canon character! Now he's off with all the actual Stus in Stu Hell and I have to get him back!"

"Geron is the one we killed, not Gerron!"

"The Flowers don't seem to c- oof."

A furry blue creature recoiled, not having expected a person to be just around this corner. Of course, being a ypur, spawn of a spambot, it wasn't intelligent enough to expect anything at all.

Sedri blinked. Iza squealed. "It's so cute!"

Running feet could be heard around the corner; running feet and heavy breathing. Sedri pounced.

Nat and Cassie swung round the now-infamous corner at full speed, barely reacting in time to keep from tripping and making a three-agent dogpile atop the ypur. Iza waved merrily. "Is it yours?"

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/The2008Ypur_Invasion

They're the result of a spambot who can't spell "your". I think they look like yaks, but I'm not sure. Either way, HQ is stuffed with them.

I got through the first episode thanks to you-bloody-tube and that was MORE than enough. I mean, if Jane was so vulnerable as to nearly DIE from the cold, would Mrs Bennet have sent her out the first time? *strangles*

Admittedly, I didn't hate the Sue character too much. Amanda, I think her name was. She wasn't infuriating; it was all the things the scriptwriters did FOR her that was worst. Not that she wasn't bad, just... blegh.

That said, Araeph, do you want us all to watch all those horrid episodes or will you give us a run-down of events so we know exactly what's going on?

One Agent smells metallic, the other draconic. What would the Beavers be thinking? And what might they do?

I'm delighted. Also had to do a double take when you mentioned the countries I suggested. ^-^
I really need to get myself a copy of that Onion atlas- its sporking of my native land had me laughing at about every line. (of course, Agent Closed's calm English accent helps quite a bit...)


Cheers!

"What in the world are those things?" She asked her partner, not looking away from the creatures.

"Ypurs," Georgia replied, hiding behind the older woman, "You remember, right? That spambot invasion a few weeks ago? We lost the spambot but someone decided to keep the Ypurs."

"Must have missed it," Kumori said. She lifted one hand above her head and it began to glow.

"I think they'll be upset if you kill them!" Georgia reprimanded her, taking a few steps back anyway.

"Those things broke down our door and crushed my favourite dodecahedron bush!" The green haired Ex-sue growled, "Like hell I'm letting them get away with that!"

But count Agent Trojie in, so very much.

Legal Mary Sue ends up with Darcy, after sending Elizabeth to the modern world for eternity, and making Bingley, Collins, and Wickham all fall for her. And sending Jane and Bingley off to America. And making Mr. Bennet nearly bleed to death. And showing Lydia her "landing strip". And sending Charlotte Lucas to Africa as a missionary.

I don't know how she'll go down, or how many weapons it will take...

but let's get her.

Araeph is begging you.

never know about these.

While I can accept your point that it is, indeed, an "alternate" AU (and perhaps I let my mind wander too far when I was composing that post), I still balk at the idea that it's well-established. Moreso than any other Heroes future we've seen thus far, perhaps, but that's not really saying much.

According to the PPC Manual's list of departments, there is a Department of Mary-Sue Experiments, which might well be to his taste and qualifications. I don't know of any appearances by them except in DOGA's Alumia the Woodsprite mission, but if you search you might find more.

Yes, it's him again. A transmission from the general direction of New Caledonia reached me, asking me to link to this on the Board, and like the obedient supporter I am, I complied. It's in four parts, for size, but they follow directly from each other.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

He also asked me to apologise for the sound quality in one song -- apparently there's a reason, but he won't tell me what it is.

hS

Risa pulled a small black butterfly with purple markings from somewhere within her shihakushou and cupped it within her hands. After whispering something to it she released the insect, allowing it to fly off in search of Agent Lunac.

"Um, Risa, how's Lunac meant to know how to take a Hell Butterfly message?" Ansela asked, sitting on one of the unconscious Ypurs.

"If you can figure it out then so can he," Risa ignored Ansela's indignant sputtering and leaned against the wall, unwilling to use one of the blue creatures as a seat and risk getting fur all over her black clothing.

Nat stomped down the hallway, Cassie and the minis trailing close behind. The lanky girl was muttering under her breath. "Goddamn incompetent people not putting proper security on the place and now we're stuck with clearing it up can't get five minutes' peace in this place only just got back off the last mission..."

Cassie, on the other hand, seemed perfectly happy to be out of the RC and was entertaining herself tossing bits of bacon towards the minis. As she threw a piece to Giml, she accidentally dropped one of the sausages she'd been carrying to lure the Ypurs out with.

She didn't notice, but the Ypur lurking around the corner did. Greenlead, who had hung back to investigate something he'd found interesting lying on the floor, growled and snapped at the blue-furred creature that scurried out to claim the sausage. On hearing the growl, Cassie turned round.

"Nat! Nat, we found one!" she yelled, dashing towards the Ypur which, unsurprisingly, dashed off as fast as it could. The two agents and their minis took up the chase with enthusiasm, all previous traces of Nat's earlier mood gone.

The figures emerged, plucked capriciously from the womb of a hapless writer's mind before their time. They had no distinct form, for their genesis was not yet complete, and had settled on no details concerning their appearance. They were without name, for the whim of the uncaring powers that brought them here had not yet seen fit to grant them such. Indeed, so hazy and ill-formed were they that they were little more than figures of mist, animated only by the brightly burning spark of the idea in each, a spark that burned in the smoke that formed them. Even their voices were little more than indistinct whispers, though one seemed to have affected a French accent and a feminine tone, while the other was just as clearly male, and bore a drawl distinctive to those who knew of the planet Catachan-or alternatively, the mythical land known as Texas.

But these figures were not to be dismissed, for what their creator had not yet granted them in description, he had gifted them in firepower. While some of their weapons were little more than indistinct haze themselves, others were not...

Two Ypurs immediately fell to the neural shredders on loan from the Callidus Temple, mental activity hopelessly scrambled by the arcane weaponry, while a third barely dove out of the way of a hail of fire from the needle pistol one of the mist-shrouded figures bore.

It didn't help. A psyk-out grenade bounced around the corner, courtesy of an expert throw by one of the figures, despite the fact that it had no solid hands to speak of. The Ypur never awoke, silenced by the point-blank blast from the neuro shredder that followed as the unborn figures silently moved down the corridor, so indistinct that they barely seemed to register at all to the naked eye, save for that burning heart of the idea within...

Three had been cut down. There would be more to come. The figures shared what might have been a smile, had they faces to smile with, and continued down the corridor, shredders level.

Ansela ducked behind a half-open door, out of sight of the Ypurs stampeding through the cross section ahead of her. She didn't like the things, therefore she didn't even want to look at them.

"Stop hiding, Ansela, and help me out here," Risa resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she watched the Ypurs. "I cannot handle this number of these creatures by myself."

"I ain't coming out and you can't make me," Ansela scowled and reached for her zat, knowing the Shinigami could quite easily drop her in the middle of the Ypurs without being harmed herself if she wanted to. Activating the energy weapon, which looked rather like a stylised snake, she went to stand by her partner. "Can I kill just one of them?"

"We do not yet know what the consequences for killing one of these creatures are," Risa snapped, her eyes closed as she concentrating on focusing her energy.

"Whatever," Ansela's hand snapped up and squeezed the trigger of her zat, blue energy bolts arcing out and striking the Ypurs. Any that were hit collapsed instantly, knocked out by the Goa'uld stun weapon.

"Geki!" Risa yelled, thrusting her palm forwards at the Ypurs. Several of them stopped, paralysed by the red light that engulfed them.

"W00t, we got them!" Ansela did a victory dance, waving her zat above her head madly. Suddenly Risa shoved her backwards, barely pulling her out of the way of an enraged Ypur.

"Do not celebrate until they are all unconscious or restrained," Risa barked, before spinning round to face the dozen Ypurs that were still standing. "Geki!" Three more Ypurs were restrained by the paralysing red light. "Rikujōkōrō!" One more was caught by six rods of light, which crashed into it from all directions. "Sajō sabaku!" A thick chain wrapped around two of the Ypurs, binding them together from head to tail and preventing them from moving. "Hyapporankan!" A spear of light formed in her hand, which multiplied into a hundred when she threw it, driving the rest of the Ypurs back and impaling the limbs of two of them. Ansela's zat hummed four more times, knocking out the last four Ypurs and preventing them from breaking down the wall of glowing spears.

"You the gal, Risa," Ansela grabbed her partner and pulled her into a kiss, a wicked grin on her face. "Ansela and Risa 1, Ypurs 0."

"We should call Agent Lunac to return these to their proper place. He should be pleased to find that his burden has been lessened by seventeen escaped Ypurs."