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Since the Divine Comedy is technically RPF (Virgil, anyone?) and a self-insert, one could count it as fanfic and therefore make a case for recruiting the Divine Comedy version of Dante.

It's just she has a few issues. Let's just say his tendencies surfacing would be a combination berserk button and trauma button.

The other one might just find him hot instead. :p
Yes, one mission.

Technically, he's a major canon character and a major Real World author, even if the canon is mercifully ignored by almost all of the Pit. I mean - would you conscript Tolkien to the PPC cause by travelling back in time and kidnapping him?

I don't mean to piss on your parade, in a manner of speaking in mixed metaphors, but it seems a little dubious.

*swigs whiskey*

FIFTEEN MEN ON A DEAD MAN'S CHEST
YOHOHO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM
DRINK TO THE DEVIL AND DONE FOR THE REST
YOHOHO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!!!

Gyar! Now drop her off the portside, first mate!

That one was atrocious.

If it was a troll, then I say that trolls have odd taste. If they're posting to see just how many flames they can get, then I think they ought to be in the loony bin.
(and that's saying a lot.)

That smells like an intentional mockery of badfic, not serious badfic itself-many, if not most, of the badfics I've seen sporked do at least try to be well-written, even if most of them still suffer from horrible grammar problems and whatnot. All of the linked fics are so over-the-top horrible that I think they can't be anything but intentional.

when do you want it in by?

I throughly enjoyed this. You write so well, and so amusingly. I love your agents...it probably has something to do with my Trekkie heart.

That hurts...really really hurts. And I had more faith in humankind...is nothing safe?

10) Adult men and women of varying stages of maturity are suddenly all behaving like twelve-year-old girls.

11) Couples prefer to hide away and angst to a ludicrous degree over every tiny little problem in the relationship rather than simply talking to each other.

12) Two characters insist that they are in love, but they never actually A) demonstrate why they love each other, B) say anything to each other that doesn't relate to how in love they supposedly are, C) do anything together other than make out and/or screw.

Maybe one that can coexist with Canon so the Misses won't suspect anything at first...
*twitch*

MiddleEarth's Last Hope
TWELVE members of the Fellowship, Two of which are her Cute Animal Friends, mysterious powers, Chauvinist!Boromir, and of course...Mary Sue with a tragic past and a hidden talent. Go figure.
Anyone want her for target practice?

*tries to peer at hidden Agent* Er, she's not Bajoran, is she? (The Sueoine of Crelmos's native fic was half-Bajoran, half-Cardassian; this is canonically possible, but was only used as an excuse for angst. As such, all his tendencies are exaggerated around Bajoran or part-Bajoran females.)

You have, however, intrigued me- do you have any missions up for these Agents?

But feel free to use the ideas.

It says something that both my Agents are Sith. I like villains. They're fun.
*hides one of my Agents because Crelmos is not a person she should encounter* That would be /bad/.
The other one might find him interesting though, but he finds a lot of people interesting. XD

...why does everyone like him?

But heh, I've reached new heights of writing bastardry. Should I be flattered by this? xD

(And, all things considered, he is extremely fun to write, mostly because he makes poor Teek go so completely insane...)

...but I know many of the fans loathe it, and that it had stupid midriff tops.
Oh, and according to my dad, despite the fact that's about a century before Kirk, they meet up with the Borg.

The Borg were kind of in a really, really, really far off bit of the galaxy that humans wouldn't have entered for an unimaginably long time- Picard only did so in TNG because Q, wanting to make a point, put them there. >:/

(I'm a Canon Nazi... oh, and I just watched that episode a couple of days ago and adored it. xD)

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Melba

And Here:

http://www.freewebs.com/fanfic_land/Story46.htm

I'm actually planning to do a story about that pairing on the next badfic game, right after I make a fic about Melba's uncanonical last stand.

So, I and a friend were browsing The Pit today to see whether anyone had already done an idea for a certain premise, and we found this:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4512298/1/White_Houses

Pride and Prejudice songfic, complete with abuse of the past participle and modern transport!

Anyone want to claim it?

... a frustrating cliffhanger, damn you :P

No, srsly, loved it as ever.

Obviously, I predict that the day will be saved by reversing the polarity on the deflector dish using revolving frequencies and nanites. And then there'll be an asteroid and Bruce Willis will save us all and Ben Affleck will marry whoever is left standing.

6.) It's labeled AU, but the changes to Canon are not consistent with each other.
7.) The scenario is just improbable.
8.) If only the names of the charachters are used, and nothing else in the setting(This can be forgiven if the fic's good on all other counts, you change the names, and relabel this as an original fic).
9.) It's being used to press a political agenda(this counts for both sides of the fence!).

OA~! You're going to give people ideas! Miss Angel and Miss Cass have enough on their plates without lusters. Especially seeing as the only fanboy in the OFU so far is technically both genders. Sueified Misses...

*ponders* Emma's endearing? I'll make sure not to tell her that.

*gives in and squees* Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I'm really thrilled that people enjoy this, and I'm sure OA is too.

A cat o'nine tails, if my author's memory serves me correctly, is a whip with nine strands instead of one.

History teachers can be so fond of old methods of torture.