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I'm Twistey, a 1-year-bie. Your returnbie present is a device that can make objects out of solid light. Welcome back!

-Twistey

I don't know what that means as of now - S. P. U. D. has not yet replied with a counter-spinoff for us to counter-spinoff. I suppose you could take advantage of that to spinoff "We've All Got Something" and turn things in our favor. I shall be archiving every part of the battle, as always.

I think I'll do like Nightmare was doing and send the finished version next year. :')

-Yee

*slowly puts finger back down*

Never mind.

-Twistey

Seeing as it was the time of team-building by random selection, Dusk approached the courtyard and hopped up onto a wall, from on top of which she watched for her victim. Finally, she saw her target approach, and her heart skipped a beat. That was the issue with being an agent - reading about an incident or a character was nothing compared to seeing it happen in reality.

Soluna Destiny bounced into the courtyard. This does not mean that she was jumping or skipping, but rather that several parts of her were bouncing as she walked. The soft curls of her long tresses, shifting from gold to silver like an illusion in the wind and crowned with a circlet of deep blue and violet roses, bounced. The overflowing voluptuous mass of her body bounced. The crisp pleats of her dress bounced with it. There was an aura of beauty that emanated from her, and Dusk felt it strongly.

“I can’t,” breathed Dusk, and used the Remote Activator to return to Headquarters.

---

Dusk resolved to try assassinating Soluna again. Before she entered the fic, she read through it again. There were no problems she could see with it. All she could think about was how beautiful Soluna was. How strong. How loyal. How kind. She was perfect. Dusk wondered if this was the way of some god to punish her for being part of an organization whose job was to destroy such beautiful creatures.

She entered the fic again, trying to shake these thoughts from her mind. The charges came out mumbled.

"I can talk to Grimm?"
"No. No, sorry. Sorry. I can talk to humans."
"What do you want from me?"
"I... oh, this is such a mess."
Then it spilled out. "I love you."

---

It turned out that the secret couldn’t stay safe forever. Dusk didn’t know how Upstairs had found out, but she was eventually summoned to the Sunflower Official’s office. A lump rose in her throat as she realized why she had been called there. Nevertheless, she had to set off. Expecting to be fired, she packed all her things into a Bag of Holding she’d stolen from a Dungeons and Dragons Sue, and walked down the hallway, feeling a sense of impending doom.

Opening the door to the office, she saw the Sunflower Official glaring down at her with fronds crossed. He was accompanied by a short, disapproving girl sporting both a RWBY-style PPC uniform and a huge bushy tail. A squirrel Faunus? That was a strange occurrence. Squirrel Faunus had never before appeared in canon. How could an agent possibly be something that had not been shown in canon?

As Dusk was wholly lost in confusion, the Sunflower Official cleared his throat. Agent Major General Odile Severheart Dusk, there have been rumors circulating that instead of assassinating the Mary Sue Soluna Destiny, you were enamored with her and have initiated a relationship.

Dusk searched her mind for the right reply. “I… I admit, I did fail to assassinate the Sue.”

The Sunflower Official leaned even further over her. The truth will appear in time. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to confess anything more?

“No, sir.”

Fine then. I have sent you a temporary partner, Agent Hira Katropher of the Department of Floaters, to help you carry out the assassination once and for all.

Dusk felt a bead of cold sweat down her face. What could she do now that she was being watched?

----

Dusk resolved that she would attempt to escape with her love when Hira wasn't watching. She knew that she could live in the RWBY continuum for the rest of her life, as she knew how to maneuver within it. She had nothing she was attached to in the PPC.

Eventually, however, when her plan was put into action, it didn't work. She was found.

"So the rumors are true," stated Hira, with great disappointment. "You two are in love."

"I-I can't take it anymore!" shouted Dusk. "Yes, we're in love and I can't possibly kill her! Why would you ask that of me?"

"Because that's your job, and you two aren't supposed to be in love."

"Homophobe," Dusk muttered under her breath.

Hira stepped back and tilted her head to the side. "Wow! What a freaking knee-jerk reaction! Of course I'm going to passively let you win the argument because you're lesbian!" She got up in Dusk's face. "No, stupid! The problem is that you're an agent and she's a Mary Sue."

"There's no way that this is about her Mary Sue status! If you could let two women be in a relationship, you'd also obviously be able to tolerate this as well, because love is love is love! You're a liar and a homophobe! Leave my relationship alone!"

"Agent Dusk-"

"LEAVE MY RELATIONSHIP ALONE!!!!"

And Soluna took that as a cue to kill Hira.

----

Dusk tried sneaking back into HQ. It turned out that Hira was in fact a homophobe and was just using that as an excuse to cover up the fact that she was a homophobe, and so she was posthumously fired, and that the Sunflower Official had just never been introduced to the idea that Agent-and-Suvian relationships should be treated as equal and legitimate. He agreed to let Soluna move into HQ with Dusk.

The years passed. The two killed many homophobe Suvians together, making sure that Soluna's friends were spared by all of the PPC. They eventually were married, and by the powers of writing, had two daughters named Sol and Luna. Soluna used her magic to render immortality to them both and so they never retired from the PPC. However, they eventually got bored and let themselves finally slip into death, and they were made into constellations in the sky of the PPC universe.

The end.


With a salute,
Dusk

P.S. I managed to remember the HTML this time, yay!]

(Hope you understand this emoticon, er.)

I figured that since Thoth knows a bit about classic iD Software games, it could slide, but y'know...

-Twistey

It's all right. There are no stupid questions, only stupid people.

With a salute,

Dusk

Oldbie on the board!

Thank you to Zing for actually telling me who you are. I am... waay too new to have known. Welcome back! Have a cup of Klah, and get comfortable, assuming you intend to stay for any length of time.

Hello! Welcome back to the Board! How is everything? What brought you back here now?

(We've never met that I know of, but. I mean. You created SIELU, which is pretty darn cool, especially since I have agents who ended up there even though they've had limited screentime so far.)

At any rate, welcome back! I hope you enjoy however long you stay. :)

~Z

I just luv tis idea - its like dubledores army and the minsty of majik!!!111111! i defintly want to join the rebellion!

(Me and Minty in the same rebellion... that means things are going to get insane. I think Minty is insane!me.)

that you were Twistey. The line about the Wolfenstein 3D parody was a dead giveaway.

Looks like I chose a good moment to poke my nose back here. :)

...being rather half-crazy/goofball, while still putting him in a position of authority? Right?

-Yee

The Lichtspeer hero, in this case bearing the default name of Hans, was waiting for the newcomer to arrive.

He checked over the description she’d sent of herself again. Her name was Electra, and she was a wandering assassin who had a unique weapon known as the Rave Sword. She came from far away, and was unfamiliar with the territories of the Lichtgods. Hans couldn’t think of anything that existed beyond, as the Lichtgods’ lands were so large. But hey, if she was willing to work with him, he was good.

Just then, there was the whirring sound of doors sliding open automatically. Hans closed the Lichtscroll and turned around to put it on the counter. The Lichtgod of Commerce, commonly known as the shopkeeper, took the scroll and watched the door approvingly as Electra strode in.

"Yep, you're exactly like the picture provided," joked Hans, and the shopkeeper chuckled behind him.

Electra, on the other hand, did not find this joke to be hummorous, and remained silent.

He extended his hand. "I'm Hans." She shook it,a gain without a word.

"Are you... mute, or just don't talk too much?"

She looked like she was thinking. "To quote Shakespeare, my voice is in my blade."

"Impressive!" He meant it. "...I guess we should beam down now and you can show me how you use that thing."

"I suppose you can also show me how you use yours." (A/N: That's what she said.)

And so, by way of futuristic transportation, they left.

Since you're one of the fellow newbies I know decently well (this is Twistey here, but don't tell), I figured I'd stick you in to give us a good number of resistance folks.

Welcome to the PPC! Have a cupcake!

Maii karakcter haz come eulaive! Of course iou can spik french, ze ost bioutifoul langouage eveure!

You can have this pot of black-hole coffee. Enjoy it.

Allow me to offer you a bag of black-hole chocolates.

I'mm glad you remembered me, even thhough you BROKE MY HEART. Thinnk twice next timee before you MAKE an OC....

Andd can I speak onlly French, next installlment? French is COOOOLERR!

Ouiv inetance moments!!1!

Richard is eu suepah ajent of ze PPC, with hiz syupah girlfriend, ah parner, Marina, ou iz a griit ouisarde, ou can dou tek steuf and majic steuff at ze saime taime, not laike zis wik Dressden. Beut ouaile zei ouere quiling Siou ouiv magik end Peursonah, Marina louquéd sad, laike Richard bifor I had iz Peursona end bekéime ossome.

Since I was Siupa peurceptif, hi askd Marina ouate waz vrong, méibi ze min Floueurs ouere harasing ér?

Beut zat's ouen Marina séid somessing incrédible: chi had discovérd shi waz eune olde RPIJ karakteure criétéd bai Richard, not eune ossome kanon!!1!

ANGST!

Mini Riale Laife ouont stop me of posting, néveure!

If you folks superheroes, I found this site fairly recently - http://textsfromsuperheroes.com

It's basically text messages between comic book characters (and others) and is absolutely hilarious. Give it a look, you might be surprised.

Here, have some chocolate and enjoy your stay!

Here, have some chocolate and enjoy your stay!