Subject: Rolling on the floor...
Author:
Posted on: 2011-12-21 23:59:00 UTC

...Gaspard decided to call out for help.

Now, there are quite a few dialogue choices when it comes to asking people to help you get rid of a murderous, sentient blob that came from a cafeteria tray. For example, "Help me!" is a classic, while "Get it off!" conveys a more urgent tone. "Kill it with fire!" would be valid if the thing was not gripping onto your shirt while scrabbling at your neck. In the end, Gaspard settled with the ever-popular "AUUUUGH!".

"Your wallet or your life!" yelled the blob, trying to strangle Gaspard. "Your wallet or your- OOF!" The terrified intern punched the blob in its side. He expected the thing have the consistency of Jell-O but to his surprise, it felt more like solidified chili. The chili monster recoiled from the blow, falling off Gaspard. It tried to slither away, but the edible abomination didn't manage to avoid a mighty kick from a bystander that sent it into the closest wall with a wet SPLAT!

Gaspard stood up and walked over to the chili monster, looking at it carefully. "I have a question for you," he said.

"What?" answered the blob, slowly sliding to the ground.

"Where the heck are your vocal cords? I mean, come on. You are a blob for crying out loud! How do you do it?"

The chili monster thought about it for a few seconds. "Does it matter?" it said as it suddenly detached itself from the wall and launched itself onto a cyborg-like woman with bright white hair.

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