Subject: Hmm.
Posted on: 2020-07-21 08:57:34 UTC




This amorphous being is most peculiar. It travels around under its own power, and yet it looks and smells like Nams. Specifically the Special Wet Nams that I enjoy so. I shall investigate more closely.

*sneef sneef*


Yes indeed! I was not mistaken! Although this being is capable of motion and non-instinctual responses to its environs, it is indeed comprised wholly of Nams! O joyous day! I must test further! I shall now deploy my Ouch Crescents!



Alas! Alack! The Nams Being has resisted! It has dared, it has had the temerity, it has had the sheer GALL, to Assail mine August Personage! Oh fie! Oh horror! I can no longer thrive in this household! I shall put all my worldly belongings into my little knapsack and venture forth into the cold dark world! Mother! The Nams are fighting back! Correct this injustice at once!

*padpadpadpadpadpadpadpad MOW*


Mother! MOTHER! The time to act has come! Your Perfect Innocent Child has been ruthlessly assaulted by Nams! The stars above shine down in pitiless hatred upon your Poor Sweet Boy! And yet you move not! I must strenuously protest this inaction! I must do so via the medium of the Ouch Crescent!

*pap pap pap poke*

"mmrrmsajhsjFFGSPLRPL Denny get your sodding paw out of my nose what the hell?"

*poke poke MOW*

"Uuuugh. Fine. Come on. I'll give you some nams. It's not your nams time but if it'll shut you up and let me get some actual frelling sleep..."

Mother comes! Mother comes to follow her Precious Perfect Child! What a wonderful day this is! Quickly, to the Audience Chamber! The foul namsbeing assails me at the very seat of mine noble lineage! The very soul and centre of mine world!

"Denny why are you leading me to the living room?"

*padpadpad shuffleroundthelegs nuzzlenuzzle MOW*

"Alright, alright! I'll deal with what the hell is that."

Aha! Ahahahaha! Mother faces the Nams Beast! Battle shall be joined in earnest! Onward, Mother! Forth and fear no darkness!

"Hello little guy!"


"Awww, you're a little sweetheart! I'll get Laine up in a bit, maybe they'll know what you are."


"Right, let's put you in a carrier for now. I've got some carrot chunks somewhere, would you like carrot chunks? I bet you would! I bet you would!"


"Now, you're all safe and sound in there, you've got food, you've got water, it's all good!"


*padpadpad poke poke poke MOW MOW poke swipe MOW*


"Awww, Denny, did the whatever-it-is scare you? Was it all mean and nasty? Don't worry, it can't hurt you any more. Now, you come here for some fuss and attention. That's what you really wanted, isn't it?"

Oh! Aha! I see Mother's ruse! The Nams Beast has been ensnared within a small box! It is imprisoned! Perhaps she means to take its foul corpus to the Vet, where it will be Poked with the Poking Thing and suffer the indignity of the Multifarious Pointy Implements! Mother does love her Special Boy after all! Hurrah for Mother! Three cheers for Mother! And now she provides the Crunchy Nibbly Nams AND the Soft Stroking Pats! What a lovely day to be Master Dennington of Dennington Hall, Lord of All He Surveys!


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