Subject: So, uh, I never read HFA . . . >.> <.<
Author:
Posted on: 2022-01-14 14:13:54 UTC
What are the "issues surrounding HFA's headmistress?" Why wouldn't it be ethical to buy things from an OFU?
—doctorlit is feeling like a major outcast right now . . .
<.<
So everyone knows Bleeprin's a wonder drug, can't live without it, a major staple of the average agent's food pyramid, etc.
However, something a lot of people might forget (unless they've been reading the Wiki recently, anyway) is that Bleeprin comes from the Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy. It's manufactured by the mini-Aragogs.
Given all the issues surrounding HFA's headmistress, I wouldn't be surprised if there's plenty of agents looking for other sources of Bleeprin, or just other mind-erasing substances in general. A couple thoughts on that courtesy of a chat between me and Nesh late last night (for me):
What do you think about the Bleeprin conundrum? Should agents find a different source or experiment with their own knockoffs? Does there exist a generic equivalent? Or are your agents switching to Suebuprofen/some other mind-erasing wonder drug?
If Bleeprin is "brain bleach with asprin" and Suebuprofen is "brain bleach with ibuprofen," then what's brain bleach withTylenol?
Wait. Tylenol is trademarked.
Well, Tylenol's active ingredient is paracetamol (known as acetaminophen in the US. I remember Mom saying that she was allergic to acetaminophen) so... Bleeptamol? Bleepamol?
Bleepamol looks more pleasing to my eye. Paracetamol appears to be "inferior to ibuprofen" in terms of fever reduction and post-surgical pain, but may help with migranes and headaches (what we're looking for). It is the most commonly used medication in the US and Europe for pain and fever. It is stronger than ibuprofen when combined with ibuprofen.
So, may I suggest Bleepamol (bleach with paracetamol) and Suebumol (suebuprofen and paracetamol, or ibuprofen with Bleepamol)?
-kA
(Edit: Forgot my sign-off.)
Paracetamol is lethal to cats and snakes, so cat-agents and snake-agents would probably have to use some other bleep product other than Bleepamol. Dogs, however, can use it, just in less quanities than humans.
So, similar to bleeprin not reccommended for avian and Time-Lords, Bleepamol should not be used by snake, cat, or were-cat agents, while it can be used in werewolves.
One more thing to note: A lot of bleep products use bleeprin as a base (Bleepka, Bleepbeer, etc.). So, if certain agents are to "phase out," so to speak, bleeprin in these products, would we have to note that somewhere? Or could we continue to use bleep products and just say/imply that we're not using bleeprin-based bleep products, but (rather) suebuprofen-based?
-kA, who felt like this was important enough to warrant a different post.
I would actually prefer Bleepamol to... not begin with the Bleep-prefix? Because current usage of Bleep-something to me implies that the product contains Bleeprin. So if it's brain bleach and paracetamol without any aspirin involved, it could be like... Sporkamol or something (pronounced like 'spork-em-all') and all derived products could be like... Sporka (with [faux?] vodka), Sporfee (with coffee), etc.
That also solves the problem of needing to clarify whether a certain product contains Bleeprin or a different product. (Also, in an interlude I'm writing, the Disentangler and the Agent actually actively complain that there's more Bleepproducts than Suebuprofen products, and that they have to crush the Suebuprofen and sprinkle it into stuff if they want, say, a Sueubuprofen cocktail. So maybe I'm being lazy and don't want to change the line ahaha)
I like that! Suggests a killer marketing campaign as the spork replacement we've always deserved. Though I do have to wonder why it took so much longer to develop Sporkamol than Suebuprofen and Bleeprin. Is Sporkamol even more reactive than Bleeprin, perhaps? Tylenol is the harshest of the three painkillers on the liver, IIRC...
And I agree with not using "Bleep-" for things that aren't based on Bleeprin.
(Incidentally, can I just point out how silly it is to worry about the potential toxic effects of aspirin/ibuprofen/acetaminophen while ignoring the bleach? {X D )
~Neshomeh
They actually had it ready to go a good 13 years ago.
Ever since then, they've been tied up in arguments over whether it should be named after paracetamol or acetaminophen. For a while back in '17, they came perilously close to compromising on N-acetyl-para-sporkinophenol.
hS
I'm thinking, as I'm writing the interlude which introduces the thing, of having it be... a fair amount more reactive than Bleeprin? But reactive with what, I'm not sure. Maybe it's highly reactive with bleep-products?
(Also, it is kinda funny that I'm casually ignoring the effects of bleach lol)
-kA, who is currently writing because brain goes brrrrr
Also, I'd assume some variant of "not good with alcohol" would remain.
Anyhow, couldn't this add onto the variations of spork? Like Spork could be slang for Sporkamol, leading to the possibly funny exanchange of "Want some Sporks?" "Sure!" gives Sporkamol "Uh, not what I thought you meant."
Ooo! And maybe Spork Squared is, like, a Spork product think enough for an agent to eat with a spork! Like maybe cake! Oooo! runs off to collect ideas
-kA, who is way too excited about the possibilities with Sporkamol
No offense, but there isn't much of a recipe to it. At least I don't think.
(Not mad and am trying not to sound mean)
-kA
I have a strong memory of TZA letting me know that she also should be credited for the creation of Bleeprin. {= ) Amazing, really, since that was probably in ~2004, when I was first putting together the Substance Menu.
That said, does anyone happen to know how to get in touch with Meir Brin? I stumbled on that conversation between me and hS checking to see if she left any contact info the last time she visited (which was, uh, a very long time ago), because I'd love to get her take on HFA sacking the headmistress. (I have a notion that she does get a portrait, and it's kept in a small room with the portrait of Mrs. Black for company.) Also some other thoughts about the education of a kid like Henry Robinson, whom I'm thinking needs a story about that more and more.
After, of course, checking that Brin's interested at all, after all this time.
~Neshomeh
What are the "issues surrounding HFA's headmistress?" Why wouldn't it be ethical to buy things from an OFU?
—doctorlit is feeling like a major outcast right now . . .
<.<
so the headmistress of HFA would be a certain feminism-appropriating transphobic reactionary.
It's an in-universe additional dilemma alongside the real-world "is it ethical to enjoy HP now" discussion.
Case in point:
Oda's response to a question about the limits to Bartolomeo's barrier powers, and I quote: "That's a very good question. There is a limit to how much surface area and how many barriers he can deploy at once. He can only create one barrier at a time, and its maximum surface is 50,000 Barri-Barris!! That's incredible! One Barri-Barri is equivalent to 100 Borri-Barri-Barris, which means his defense is as much as 500 Pickle-Porri-Porri-Barri-Barris."
The continuum is, say, a video game developed by a studio? Would the headmaster be the entire studio then?
You say Neshomeh, I say Neshomeh... ^_^
In January 2019, I reported that there was no Bleeprin shortage. None. No problems at all.
But before that, in May 2016, the REAL Real Multiverse MonitorTM pending hacked Legal's emails and found out there was a trademark issue involving unlicensed knockoffs of BleeprinTM. Meir Brin wasn't happy, apparently.
All of which was inspired by a conversation with Neshomeh earlier that month, which is apparently where I first found out that the stuff is trademarked (and has promotional materials!).
It looks like Alembic Deepwarren (formerly Medical Research Division, now DAS-VOID) was running a crackerjack bleeprin plant back in '16, and my original posts suggest the otherwise-unknown Agent Daisybert was too (probably much less safely). I'm sure they'd be more than happy to spin back up if there was a shortage.
What would be nice would be if we could find a solution that still acknowledges Meir Brin as the creator of Bleeprin. She's still a real person who hasn't done anything wrong. Hmm...
-- oh.
OH!
Patents last 20 years. HFA was published in 2002. Bleeprin just went out of patent. It is now legal for lowercase bleeprin to be made by anyone mad enough to mix bleach and aspirin in their bathtub.
There you go. A nice, elegant solution.
hS
-- like how people are jumping at the chance to do their own take on Winnie the Pooh now that those stories are public domain, huh?
Incidentally, I wonder if Lin Wei-ting and Mandy would want a piece of the bathtub hooch!bleeprin pie, since they're the materials assessment folks, after all. No doubt Alembic's still got his old tools of the trade, but now they can openly R&D their own bleeprin formulas in the DAS labs!