Subject: You're all breaking the Sacred Timeline! >:-(
Author:
Posted on: 2022-04-06 07:26:59 UTC
That chapter won't exist until the 19th! You're all looking into the unknown future!!1
I would totally join you if my temporal preservation software didn't prevent it, and also chapter 2 is so long and I don't have time right now. ^_~
hS
Another day, another estimated publication date for a TOS mission... interestingly this one follows directly on from the last line of the previous mission, so it's possible they were even posted as a pair.
Protectors of the Plot Continuum: Laugh at the Moon, by Jay and Acacia
Sadly the badfic is well gone - the TOS first page capture lists it as 'author forgotten - story taken down', so it was gone by the time of posting.
hS
Yep, it's another TOS mission with another approximate date. It's also MUCH shorter than the last chapter.
Protectors of the Plot Continuum: Mithril, by Jay and Acacia
According to Acacia, both this and the next badfic were MST'd by Elfsheen, who went on to make an MST website to host it. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find any trace of the site or the MSTs.
Oh, and the author totally died of bad reviews. That is definitely very plausible. The bad reviews were so infectious that her cousin, who just happened to have her FFn password, deleted all her fics to keep them from claiming any other lives. Alas.
hS
I feel like they play about a bit more with the whole "world made of words" concept than they have previously - the compressed feeling, the stateds, even the contradictory colours. It's fun, and it's definitely carried over to how I write PPC missions.
Also: Jay is "three years on the job" here in April '02, which means she joined sometime between late 1998 and mid '99. Which is a great relief to me, because it means I'm not wrong to have her in The Reorganisation (May-June '99). It does mean she's a lot newer than I was imagining her at that point; apparently she made a quick impression!
hS
The "stated" gag, the Sue colours, the horrible Shakespearean English... it's got it all. I'm still about 85% sure I read the MST once upon a time, but unfortunately Google searches can't corroborate that :P
And as you know, I'm taking full advantage of Jay and Acacia mentioning Random Elves in this mission, because guess whose backstory is Random Elf?
“Meluithel,” stated Eithriel as the brown-haired elleth stitched star-like gems onto a long white dress that was somehow low-cut and yet also modest, “do you not notice anything strange about this dress?”
“I am readying it for Lady Mithril Starlight who is Elrond’s other daughter,” stated Meluithel. “If you wish-eth to help-eth me, you can embroider the wilver shoes for her.”
Eithriel averted her eyes from the aforementioned wilver shoes. “When did Lord Elrond get another daughter?” she stated. How many daughters did Lord Elrond have? Eithriel could have sworn it was just Arwen, and yet every other day it seemed some other lost kin of Elrond’s came traipsing into Rivendell. Was Lord Halfelven truly so prolific?
“She has always been here she was living with her mother in Loth Lorien, she is Lady of the Light.” Meluithel stated slowly, as though she believed Eithriel to have taken leave of her senses.
After Meluithel finished her embroidery on the dress, she started on the shoes. “Deliver these to Lady Mithril when I am done,” she stated.
Eithriel did so, only to run into a pair of ellith on her way out of the lady’s rooms. “Hey, you,” stated the stockier one. “No need to take care of Lady Mithril tonight. We’ve got her.”
Eithriel blinked at her, and then at her partner. “Very well,” she stated. “Please take care of her.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” said the partner, with a smile that was more teeth than anything else. “We intend to.”
The authors gave this badfic a heck lot more focus than any of the others so far, especially in terms of direct quotes, but it's understandable. All that misused archaic English is easier seen than inferred. That weird overuse of "stated" made for a perfect gag that could only have worked in a text medium like this, and it's surprisingly the first time Suvian colors have appeared in the original series, although the agents/authors seem aware of the concept from some outside source. Do we know what this "official" list they're citing is? I'm especially curious about octarine Never mind, found that one! It's not even a Suvian color!
I think this is the second time the narrative laws have been mentioned, though it's a lot more similar to the modern usage this time. We also get the "no leaving until mission completion" rule stated explicitly.
I found that poem Jay and Acacia quote, if anyone is interested!
Yikes on that wrist joke, but culture changes a lot in 20 years! '~'
—doctorlit enjoyed this mission deeple, but now he must go to work and perhaps do a deeple clean on an exhibit or two
the author did die, and whoever wrote the page was requesting that no more negative reviews be posted out of respect, but couldn't find a nicer way to put it.
People lie about serious things happening to themselves or their loved ones on the Internet a lot; Fanlore could tell you about a whole bunch of notorious dramallamas who would fake their deaths for sympathy or clout. Take these sorts of announcements with a grain of salt -- there's definitely people in fandom who have actually passed on, but definitely not because of bad reviews.
There were a lot of people Internet Dying to make a point around then, and showing up again a few weeks later. The "cousin" who edited her profile just happens to have created her own accounts on FFn and Fictionpress at exactly this time, and literally lampshades the fact that her three identities are Amy, Ana, and Amiella (yes, "Amy-ella"). My guess is that "Ana" was Amy's sockpuppet for arguing with reviewers (another very common thing at the time), and she made "Amiella" to keep posting fanfic without explicitly using "Ana".
(If your cousin had really died of bad reviews, I can't imagine any course of action whereby you a) delete her fanfics and then b) post 15 of your own over the next 9 months.)
hS
This one's interesting, because according to Jay's note in TOS13, "LotR: The Mary-Sue Menace" wasn't strictly a spinoff - just "inspired by" the PPC. Given that it's lost, it's hard to say just what that means. It looks like the author either got booted or renamed too (there's a Queen of the Damned 2 and 3 on FFn, but no original), so we'll never really know more.
hS
How do you know you've made it as a fanficcer here in the early noughts? Big-name fans like Miss Cam graciously allow you to cross over with their stories!
Protectors of the Plot Continuum: Vacation at OFUM, by Jay and Acacia
OFUM is here, in all its glory. What's really interesting is that that appears to be the original upload of OFUM... which means it is younger than the PPC by more than a month (and in fact, only a month old today)! So maybe what I should have said is "How do you know you've made it as a fanficcer? Big-name fans like Jay and Acacia graciously agree to mention your fanfic university!"
hS
Aha! Technically, the first interlude, even though it's not set in HQ! Gosh. I feel like I should read through OFUM as part of this +20 adventure, but since I'm barely scraping together the free time to read and review everything that gets posted on the Board lately, I don't think that's realistically going to happen. : ( Anyway, Jay and Acacia spend their vacation sightseeing the canon portions of Middle-earth that are present in OFUM. Which is something they've done before, on multiple missions, but I suppose it feels different when you're not on the job, and needing to return to HQ within a reasonable time? But it's not surprising they eventually start spending more time with the actual canons, something they're a lot more limited on when on missions. Interesting that Boromir seems to remember Acacia; I always assumed OFU staff were something like word-generated copies of the originals, not actually connected to them at all. But then, they wouldn't have any awareness of what happens in badfics, which is their primary motivation to staff OFUs in the first place, so it does make sense. It does, however, seem odd that before Jay started blabbing to the dark lords, the OFUM staff seemed to have no knowledge of their counterpart actors; after all, the actor often has an affect on a character's popularity in audiovisual media. Maybe Miss Cam was an early opponent of RPF, and didn't want to engage with the real world figures in her story?
Oh, much respect for our agents, for I see they too prefer nice, sensible sandals when the occasion allows it. And even further respect for Acacia, as she is a fellow anti-foodie! It's nice to not feel hungry, but ultimately, food is just food.
(Incidentally, if you're reading this, Neshomeh, there's a typo present in this copy: "Whoever he'd been yelling at wasn't talking the hint.")
—doctorlit is glad he would fit in fine at HQ, as cold showers are best showers
And it contains a surprising amount of world-building for HQ despite barely spending any time there!
We learn about the lack of real beds through Jay's excitement about her OFUM student dorm:
> "Pillows, Acacia." Jay beamed. "Pillows and real beds... and sheets..."
Jay and Acacia have been shown to camp out on missions, and of course Lux and Sean tease them about living together in their RC. I'm not sure they have beds at all, and if they do, I reckon they're camp cots at best. (That's all I gave Derik and Gall.)
We learn about the sanitary facilities, again by contrast with OFUM:
> There was a shriek of delight from the next room. "SHOWERS!"
> It wasn't that the Protectors didn't bathe... but the sanitary facilities at Headquarters were rather sterile, metallic places with no hot water and the faint suggestion of an assembly line.
> Acacia grinned. This was going to be more fun than she'd thought.
I wrote out my theory on the evolution of RCs with en-suite bathrooms in my story "Missing Time" and will thus not repeat it here. Yes, this is a shameless plug to get you to go read my story if you haven't. {= )
And we learn about the food:
> The fare of the PPC Agent may occasionally rise to the edibility of mutton, but more often consists of Twinkies, eggrolls, and granola bars.
In other words, whatever one can scrounge during a mission or aquire from what I suspect is the equivalent of a campus convenience store. I recall that TOS mentions a cafe at some point, but I think Architeuthis may be the first to establish a cafeteria/canteen? I guess we'll see!
~Neshomeh
not that I have time for more ideas, seeing as I'm writing my first mission right now and I have schoolwork going on and other things to boot.
...aren't really a thing in TOS. Jay and Acacia just complain about the misspellings. Wonder if it showed up later (like Bleeprin shows up later), or if some other spin-off started the "minis show up in PPC missions too" trend?
ANOTHER spinoff - what a week! No peeking at chapter 2, because only the first chapter was posted today.
Protectors of the Plot Continuum: The New Kids by Sakira Kage
hS
I literally cannot tell the agents apart.
I guess I can't say anything (I've been told multiple times that my characters are identical-sounding; the only difference between David Null and all the rest is that he curses), but the lack of dialogue tags, the simularity between the actions (I, at least, try to make my agents act different, but whether I succeed, well, that's up to the readers?), the identical actions against canon characters... ignoring the past opnion, it isn't the best written spinoff. It also feels a lot like "talking heads" scenes. Show me dialogue tags with action attached, at least.
I just hit the bird scene... ugh, by gods. TW animal abuse, animal killing, goreish, bl3?
It seems that they show at the wrong moments, and tell at the funny moments.
Also, again, TAGS. Dialogue tags! They're important! Who speaks using baka? Who hates Sues dating Gandolf? I don't really know. buries head under arms I'm very confused.
TL;DR: Tags aren't used, can't tell the agents apart, I hate the bird scene
(Not trying to be rude. I'm just confused.)
-kA
Yeah, I read ahead, too. Pretty much immediately. Sorry, hS. But I'll restrict myself to a general discussion of writing technique. >.>
Anyway, with Kage and Sakira, I was usually able to tell who was saying what using context cues from the paragraphs leading up to the dialogue and then following the paragraph switches back and forth from there. I think we're looking at an intentional tag-light writing style.
For the record, when it comes to speech tags (meaning specifically of the "they said" ilk, to be clear), how often to use them IS largely a matter of personal preference and the writing fashion of the day, not hard rules. Some people absolutely hate them, and it's true that an overreliance on them can really make your writing drag. On the other hand, refusing to use them at all is like trying to build a house without nails: sure, you can, but it's borrowing trouble for no very good reason.
Sometimes, if there are only two characters in a scene and the only thing happening is their conversation, it isn't necessary to remind the audience who they are for a stretch. We ought to be able to remember two people. {= ) To make a long scene without tags work, the dialogue has to be the focus of the scene, it has to be well written enough to stand on its own, and the audience has to care about the outcome of the conversation, so it isn't something to attempt lightly, but it can be very effective when done well. It's a fun and useful thing to try as an exercise, too.
But generally, my extremely helpful suggestion for how often to use speech tags is "more than never, but less than always." ^_~ It should be possible to tell who is saying what based on context cues, speech patterns, and/or sensible paragraphing at least some of the time, but it's also important to be clear, and erring on the side of clarity is rarely a bad thing.
~Neshomeh
I personally was confused as all get-out.
And you're right, paragraphs are used rather well here. Aside from my former post stating that, yeah, some of what's shown should be told (or not touched on at all. Poor bird.) or visa versa, the story does flow rather well.
looks over at my rushed-pace stories
I could snag a few things from this story, but, again, it's not the best written spinoff, although it is not the worst.
-kA, who now feels bad for crit-ing this story harshly when their own works might not stand up to time
That chapter won't exist until the 19th! You're all looking into the unknown future!!1
I would totally join you if my temporal preservation software didn't prevent it, and also chapter 2 is so long and I don't have time right now. ^_~
hS
So I had time to read it on the 4th, but I won't on the 19th. This is definitely due to really cool magic and not my stupid mundane work schedule. {; D
~Neshomeh
Great, now I'm remembering ruddy TV Tropes and their "review page" on us that declared us cyberbullies and claimed Agents were indistinguishable from Mary Sues - stuff like this doesn't help that very much. Like, sure, it's old and all, but going off of what I've seen, TV Tropes (and numerous other internet circles) still think the PPC's stagnated for twenty years and kept this kind of culture. It's, um, sad. And may or may not have been one of the reasons I had a hard time writing PPC-related stuff for a good chunk of a year.
I'm not sure how to review the actual spin-off in ways that haven't been said, to be honest. Um. There's a lot of gratuitous Japanese, I guess? Plus using a katana in Middle-Earth? And I'm not sure if "chibi-baka" is proper use of the language?
...And the bird scene. I really don't like the bird scene.
-OrangeFox, not sure how to feel now.
Now you've also got me looking. Kage appears to be Korean and Sakira's the one carrying a katana, but Kage's the one using "chibi-baka" as an insult (which... eh, I suppose chibi might be used as an adjective but I do hear it more as a noun?) which suggests both of them are anime fans at the very least. I'm not entirely sure if they're suited to M-e missions, but I guess at this point in time all the attention is on M-e, so why not?
I actually remember my friend who used to pilot Christianne drawing her using a katana and other Japanese weaponry against LotR (and HP) Sues -- I have a drawing from back then of Christianne and her former partner Selma where she was carrying a long sickle katana. I think it was because my friend was into Naruto at the time? But yeah, my reasoning for why these two are doing the same thing is because, well, it's cool. Which is a flimsy excuse, considering that's also the reason why Suvians do most things.
Seconded about being confused regarding who's saying what. It gets easy for all the agents to fall into hyperactive snark mode sometimes, but keeping an eye on accompanying actions and who could logically know enough about x to comment on it should help differentiate people? At least for me, that is.
They're effectively already out of continuity by virtue of being ignored and/or superseded by newer stories over the last two decades, as are all the other PPC stories that don't align with our current values and policies. There are more than two. That's simply the reality of this community's past. Declaring that nothing we don't like ever happened in-universe would be a pointless, hollow gesture.
It's not a simple matter to make fun of other people's work without being outright bullies (some say it's impossible), and some PPCers fell to the wrong side of the line. We acknowledge that this happened and that it was wrong, and we strive to do better. That's the most important gesture we can make.
~Neshomeh
... would be if there were some way to create a "recommended PPC stories" or "essential PPC stories" or just straight-up "good PPC stories" list. It could even theoretically spring out of the PPC+20 project: as we pass each story, we see whether it's 'good enough' to feature (perhaps on a timeline, both in- and out-of-universe?).
The trouble is... I don't think we can, for the very big reason that less than two years into the PPC's existence, you start hitting authors who are still around. Can you imagine the furore if some clown like that Huinesoron chap kicked up a fuss that his first mission (26 October 2003) didn't get included? It would be brutal, I'm telling you. Screams, flames, people running for cover...
Assembling a timeline as we go along (from the ruins of the Grand Index, alas and woe) might be a good idea, but... yeah, I don't think we can make Official Judgements. To the best of my memory, almost every mission declared out-of-continuity has been at the author's request (with the possible exception of that vampire one?).
hS
Here: https://ppc.fandom.com/wiki/User:Neshomeh/Spin-off_Recs
The first section is even for introductory material! It could probably stand some review and updating, and a disclaimer of some sort regarding older missions is an excellent idea.
So here's a thought: what if everyone made their own spin-off rec list, and those lists were collated into one big list? Or a top ten, or a list of lists like the general fanfic rec page; whatever seems most sensible. That would remove any issues of bias, I think? Especially if we all promise to keep our shirts on if we aren't on the list(s)? {= )
~Neshomeh
ETA: Clickable links and zapping a repeated word.
Or, really, could make a list. I just know general authors I like, and I feel like I have to spread things out evenly. "Okay, I chose three Nesh missions, so I have to choose three hS missions, three Voyd missions..." And I would bloat the list oops. I could do a "best mission of each writer I've ever read from," though, but IDK how that would work...
(But, a "best mission from active members" list doesn't sound too shabby of an idea, to be completely honest, but we also have... 30+ active members? Maybe? That number might be off, but we have at least 10 active members. So a little hectic to do that lol.)
-kA
My list consists of spin-offs, not single missions (unless the spin-off only has one mission to it), and only spin-offs by inactive authors (with one notable exception, because we can't seem to get rid of him ^_~ ).
I agree it would be hard to pick individual missions out of a spin-off for recommended reading. There are probably some that would work fine out of context, but in general I think most PPC stories are best read as part of their series.
I'd suggest following my lead (sort of) by picking only spin-offs over N years old or from before you joined (whichever gives you more to work with), with the idea being that newer members wouldn't have to play favorites among their contemporaries, but I'm not sure it would actually make anyone feel better, and it would also require people to have read a wide enough selection of older spin-offs to make selections from them. I guess that would pretty much leave us with everyone making their own list however they like. If commonalities arise between them naturally, great! If not, that's fine, too! I'd be interested to see what people come up with either way. {= )
~Neshomeh
I think you need to urgently review your selection criteria. ^_~
I'm also wickedly amused to note that my site layout means you might be saying just "Tales from DOGA", but you're linking to every mission I've ever written. Score one for flat websites!
In a less self-centred note, I'm always happy to see Adam & Frenchie getting a mention. They're one of the first spinoffs I really remember; French Pony was very creative with her team.
hS, probably off to start a timeline or something
...you wanting to do something like this back in 2013, because we took one of my missions as an instalment of the "Welcome to the PPC" series. I'm guessing that didn't get anywhere ;P
I do actually have the WPPC missions filed away for theoretical posting. I think it stalled because at least one person wanted to edit theirs first? I dunno.
hS
But if it was me holding up the train, then I am no longer holding up the train :P
I think it would be interesting to do a Grand Timeline of things to be read in order, and some of the more... trigger-happy fanfic policey-ones could simply get a disclaimer that suggests we don't ascribe to the beliefs expressed in this spin-off? But I mean, even my own older missions would need that disclaimer, because I remember Christianne getting very outraged at authors and going on rants about bad representation back in the day...
The pages say a final verdict is still pending… since 2010.
Ah, yes. The type of old spin-off that people can point to and say, "See? See? The PPC view themselves as the fanfiction police! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!" And with a helping of shaming teen writers for having perfectly normal hormonal reactions to pretty people.
Skip.
—doctorlit, gulping down grape juice, for he woke up mighty thirsty
This intro piece to the spinoff fills me with dread. I haven't read the second chapter itself, but the intro just regurgitates every negative talking point people have about our community. The tone is snobbish and mean-spirited (the "hormonal overdrive" jab in particular is just garbage) despite having multiple grammatical errors of the kind we normally bung on the charge list. It sets up the spinoff as the Fanfic Police people accuse us of being, and I do not vibe with that.
I get that the early days was a bit of a lawless wasteland, but I'm genuinely confused as to how stuff like this passed muster. This feels more like a parody of the PPC mission statement written by someone who didn't really understand what the PPC was doing. You can feel the smugness dripping off every word like a blob of rancid butter left melting on a radiator. It's not just bad, it's wrong, and wrong in a way that tarnishes the good writing in TOS and other spinoffs.
Sorry to be so negative but this is a style that I am so, so glad the community has moved on from. The PPC is not like this, and should never have been like this, and that it ever was makes me amazed that the community has lasted this long.
Obviously there wasn't any sort of Permission process at the time - it even predates the 'email us and ask' note, I think, so it's just 'please let us know when you've written it' - but I would have hoped most PPC fans didn't think J&A were trying to put people off writing.
I... like(?) the fact that it starts out by saying "people think we're a myth to scare people into stopping writing", and then goes on to explain that... the myth is entirely correct, except that the PPC actually exists. Ummmm... you're not really dispelling that myth there, Sakira.
(Also, LotR is "one of Tolkien's greatest piece[s] of literature", emphasis mine. You know, it's at least in his top five. Mr Bliss has no equals, though. ^_^)
hS
And myth now goeth by mythter, tho uthe hith correct pronounth pleathe.
Sometimes I think that people in Ye Olden Days of the PPC as an entity just... used it as an excuse to be mean about other fans. Permission couldn't weed 'em all out, either; some of the stuff from when I was just joining back in Oh God I'm Old still had a little of that vibe, and the further back you go, the more of it you find. It's honestly a little upsetting. I'm glad we're moving away from that.
In briefest possible form:
As far as I can tell, the PPC has always been a bunch of socially awkward oddballs: lots of geeks (female geeks at that, still just before it was cool); lots of queer folk; lots of neurodivergent folk. People like us cling to our stories as form of support that we don't always get from society at large. The worlds are our safe places; the characters are our friends. That being the case, it's not remotely surprising that we take umbrage, sometimes extreme umbrage, to the sudden intrusion of society at large into spaces that were formerly ours. Especially when the writing of society at large leaves much to be desired. >.>
You see a lot of agents who are Not Like the Other Girls. That's because a lot of PPCers were (and are) truly not like the other girls, and were in the midst of adolescent struggles to be okay with that in a time when there was very little support for them. This is why the PPC community has always been such an amazing place for its members: it's made of a lot of people going through a lot of the same things, finding acceptance they don't often get. Many of us can attest that it's transformative.
It's not surprising that we weren't always good at saying no to each other. We had to learn that, and we had to learn to love ourselves without hating the Other Girls. It's hard! But that's what I, personally, hope that today's PPC community teaches. And ensuring that we continue to walk a more tolerant path is one reason I stick around. {= )
~Neshomeh
Sorry I fell behind on commenting on these; it has been an absolute hell week in doctorlitberg. But the only way to go . . . is forwards!
It's kind of cute, the way Agent Jay likes to experiment with changing her voice through the disguise generator. I know I would be doing the same; it would be an absolute joy to get to change my singing voice to a higher range once in a while! I wonder who Jay was emulating here, though? "Acacia thought she recognized the voice," but it never gets brought up after that.
Heck yeah, it's Alice! And the courtyard, at least in concept! I had definitely forgotten this line about the SO and Marquis hanging out there. It definitely makes sense that any of the Flowers would want to be around the artificial sunlight, but it's rare for them to actually get depicted there. We shall have to remedy this! Also, speaking of plants, it's a shame the authors didn't do anything silly with the plantir. I feel like that's the sort of thing that totally should have ended up in HQ, as one of the non-Firstborn Flowers. Maybe some kind of berry plant, but with little crystal balls dangling down instead of berries?
The sequence where Jay lures Alexis away from the twins is 100% peak, absolute PPC. She takes advantage of her disguise, the setting, the Suvian's hubris, the canon's penchant for music being significant . . . and then caps it off with a punchline of a ghost knitting in a spooky cave while singing thematically relevant lyrics that foreshadow Alexis's immediate future . . . absolute perfection!
—If doctorlit had a nickel for every time sea urchins were alluded to in this mission, he would have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
Back on the train of missions that still exist, this one has been influential out of all proportion to its... well, quality.
NytBloomer is recruited by Robyn and Ranger (disguised as dragons, which I think is the first non-humanoid disguise!). Her first mission is to a Bad Parody, which I believe makes this the first non-DMS mission. And of course, despite being in the Department of Multiple Offenses, NytBloomer is the first person to use the word "Floater".
But... it's not a good spinoff. It could be. A parody self-insert, who's self-aware enough to plead parody to avoid being killed by the PPC, working missions with her talking service dog - this could be golden! But it's... not. It's not well-written, and she repeatedly goes on about killing the author.
The badfic is here, if you're interested; quite amazingly, it was posted only a day before the mission. At least NytBloomer had dedication!
hS
It IS interesting that the Department of Multiple Offenses was originally conceived as the "floaters" department with the water-lily flash patch and taking on various types of assignments and all, but it's not surprising that this fic was forgotten, allowing Nenya and Rosie's later DMO (dish-and-spoon flash patch) to become the "official" one. There are just too many little things off about NytBloomer's piece. Crisis Response Center; portal key; Offense Detector; Observation Zone? What are those things? I'm not sure if it was part of her effort not to compete with other PPCers or if she simply wasn't paying attention to TOS, but either way, this just doesn't feel much like a PPC story.
And it makes the history of the Department of Floaters and the DMO tricky to document, too. >.>
~Neshomeh
The first person journal-type narration could be pretty cool, actually? But there's, um. Some awkwardness in the writing, to say the least. (And I thought my earlier missions were bad with that. Like, geez.)
Also, I guess this may or may not have been before beta readers were more of a widespread thing. Lots of formatting issues and a few phrases that would draw the attention of the Department of Redundancy Department.
(Also, self-guiding shotgun? I thought automated aim-helpers were more for guns that required, um, precision. Like sniper rifles and stuff? I get shotguns were one of the 'cool' weapons and all back then, but I don't think a laser pointer's really needed for buckshot.)
Weird.
-OrangeFox, now thinking about the passage of time
I know, I probably shouldn't complain about this since I might be guilty of it myself (actually, strike "might," I AM guilty of a bit of this, especially in my first ever mission), but this quote severly irritates me:
I tallied up a few more offenses as we were forced to walk through more scenes of this…parody. NSFW joke, "Sandcrack" ("there's #3 in poor alternate choices for Gandalf" I muttered), insertion of Donald Duck, too many bad "thing" jokes, and the fact that I had to turn off my Offense alarm after about the first five minutes due to its' constant wailing, were but a few of the things on my list by the time we got to the "author."
This is barely described. It could be just, so much funnier if we, as an audience, could actually see these things happening. At the very least, I would describe the Donald Duck interaction, because Donald Duck is a natrually funny character who gets into rages. Let the agents be chased around by a duck threating to throw a flower pot at them and just-so-happen to find the Sue behind the whole thing! Comedy!
-kA, who feels like they need to mission their first mission to explain all the things wrong with it. Hey! Another project!
I've been trying to finish up old missions and have had to expand out from bits where I was just glossing over the details because the badfic made past me so angry. Now I can go back in and savour all the mistakes! And now my missions are super long!
Yeah, not a lot salvageable here. As hS said, while some of the basic elements would have made for an interesting spin-off, too many of the technical PPC elements just don't mesh with the PPC. The idea of a charged OC pleading parody is hilarious, and I love the term "fanfictiondom," purely because it sounds funny. But most of the rest is trying way too hard. To pick on one thing hS didn't touch on, the idea of Makes-Things having a team of moverbots to help people move objects around, is an example of making up tech that makes things easier, rather than funnier. Any agent with two arms can move things, and we already have portals to minimize travel distance. So I declare that the moverbots all broke after this scene, and they've been in that landfill room getting chomped on by those wind-up teeth ever since. This is canon now.
The one thing I totally want to save from this spin-off is the HQ pharmacy. It makes sense for one to exist, but I'm not sure it's been mentioned before now? It would have to have relationships with both FicPsych and Medical, and feels like it would be especially connected to Medical Research.
—doctorlit is surprised the Marquis ever lived in a plastic pot, but suspects he has something a little sturdier nowadays
Two in one day! I know, right? But... also, two lost spinoffs in one day.
We know a little more about Robyn's spinoff than kezya's, because it has to be Ranger and Robyn's story. We know that it survived long enough to be listed in TOS13 (1st of May), but it is not on any copy of Miss Cam's list of spinoffs (ca. May). So poor Robyn and Ranger probably only had a month together before being caught up in the Takedown.
Sadly, the PPC's Robyn is not the one currently on FFn: an archive of her profile confirms that she adopted that name late, suggesting our Robyn either changed her name or got kicked off (as HarpWire did).
hS
And so it begins... this is the first PPC story which is completely lost. We have the original link, but it is long since dead, and the only information it provides is the date of publication. We don't even know what it was about - was Anna Maria an agent, or the Suvian being hunted?
The one thing we can find is this snapshot of kezya's FFn profile. It seems likely the story was an LotR spinoff - all the others were, and the idea of a Baldur's Gate spinoff that early being totally lost is grim. Also, an exciting first: keyza is Polish! I believe that makes her the first known non-American PPCer. :)
hS
I'm Vietnamese by the way.
There's also some Canadians, and... I want to say Australians and New Zealanders, but that might have changed since I was last active.
Off the top of my head, Swedish, Finnish, Polish, German, and Italian. I'm sure I'm missing some!
I want to say we had someone from Brazil at one point, but I might be thinking of an old RP buddy who wasn't actually a PPCer? Not sure.
We used to have a map of PPCer locations... Not sure if it still exists, though, and I won't try to find it using my phone. Anyone else want to have a go?
~Neshomeh, sneaking a post at work.
I don't even remember where it was linked; I doubt I could find it. I wonder if there's a site that'll provide the same pin-in-map functionality today?
(We've also had at least one person from France, and one from Wales, if that counts.)
hS
You know I have no idea how long ago things actually were. Five years, fifteen years, it's pretty much the same! {; P
Buuuut if that map is fossilized, there were also the censuses. If any of those results survive, I think they have geographical data, among other stuff? And they're more recent. Relatively. I think. I know we haven't had one in a while, since the person(s) who formerly administered it have gone.
~Neshomeh
This link should take you to a ZeeMap, in which I've stuck pins for myself and Kaitlyn in our approximate location (+ one for New Cal). You can add your own pin by clicking "Additions > Add Marker - Simple". Be as precise or as vague as you want - I'd suggest going for somewhere in the same state, province, county etc as you, but whatever works for you. If you want to put a pin in but really don't feel comfortable sharing any location info, head down to the black pin east of Australia and put yourself in the New Cal city.
(I used the "Map Select a Location" option; be aware that this is a Google map, so will list an address for wherever you put the pin. PLEASE DO NOT enter your actual address to place the pin.)
There's also this link, which goes to a non-editable version of the map, for if you just want to see how it's coming along.
(The map should be locked so that you can only add markers, not edit or delete them; but please don't start messing with people's pins even if you discover you can. Thank you!)
hS
Well... mostly America. XD Of the 10 people who've stuck their pins in so far, 5 are in the US, 3 in England, and one each in Sweden and Japan. But there's so many more of us yet to add their pin! It'd be really cool if we could get a comprehensive view of whereabouts people are.
I've had a quick check, and it looks like only the Sunflower and Candle pins have pictures; all the rest are just poetically-named colours. I've changed New Cal to a candle (and Nesh to a Sunflower, per her request).
hS
The one I meant to place has the color "tree." After Ekwy's sunflower, I was disappointed to find that it doesn't actually look like a tree. {; P
~Neshomeh
I am not even sorry.
/ Ekwy, feeling smug
I tried Fuchsia, and it was just a colour, so I assumed they all were. Didn't realise the actual Flowers That Be had a hand in it!
hS
... Though it doesn't look like they display on the view-only map. Sadness.
~Neshomeh
You'll want to scroll to your location, then pick ADD from the menu and fill in details, selecting "Use current location". Then Submit.
hS
I have attempted to put a pin in but I don’t think I did
I know there's a Submit button that you have to click, but other than that I don't really know... if you want to drop a place and colour here, I can add you in.
hS
Whooooo we're racking up the firsts here. First mention of mini-Balrogs! First mention of my favourite courtyard! The recruitment (though they didn't realise it was a recruitment) of Alice!
So... "Quolful". The PPC wiki is the only real hit for this word on the internet, but could it be a valid Elvish name? Surprisingly... well, no, not surprisingly: it totally isn't.
But! If we go back to Tolkien's earliest Qenya, we can find the roots "QOLO" and "FULU". "QOLO" gave us words such as qolu, qolda, qolo-; "FULU" has no known derivatives, but its alternate form "HULU" gave hulin and hulqa. It's not impossible that descendents of these roots could give a Qenya name "Qolful", which (assuming the roots survived, which "FULU" probably didn't) would become "Quolful" or "Kwolful" in mature Quenya.
So what does it mean? Just about the worst thing it could! "QOLO" is the root to do with sickness and disease, while "FULU" is the root for nakedness and stripping. "Sick and naked" is the closest Alice's original name comes to having a Tolkienian translation.
She probably prefers her new name. I know I would.
hS
. . . in not just making up names for a character in a foreign culture without researching that culture's language first!
—doctorlit was not prepared for the mental imagery that name calls up