Subject: Aulhar’s Expedited Acquisitions
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Posted on: 2022-09-10 19:34:35 UTC

Aulhar Tauran, lion-man with multiple scars on his face and a partially torn-off ear opened the door to a dimly-lit RC when someone knocked. “You got the goods?”

The agent at the door silently handed over a rattling briefcase of ‘liberated’ Bleeprin. Aulhar passed it to his (very unofficial) partner, Kkukttak, who checked through the goods, testing one of the pills to make sure it was good. Without a word, Kkukttak scurried off into the RC and came back with a flamethrower, which he passed to Aulhar. Aulhar then handed it to his customer. “If anyone finds out you got that from me,” he said, raising up one of his hands with his claws out, “we’ll have a problem, understand?”

The agent turned away from the scary kitty and bolted down the hallway.

“That was our last flamethrower, right?” Aulhar asked after he closed the door. He still had a head for numbers from when he’d legitimately worked in Finance and from his life before … until he’d met Kkukttak, when he’d realized that whet he really wanted to do was pursue a life of crime alongside that handsome man who really should take his cloak off more often.

“Yep,” Kkukttak agreed. “You good to get more?”

“Sure am,” Aulhar replied.

He went to get his gun, the cart, the hot wired Remote Activator, the force field generator Kkukttak had nicked from somewhere, then waited for Kkukttak to get his gear ready (mostly knives - lots and lots of knives) and punch in the portal.

The two agents emerged in front of the Mann Co. store. Aulhar barged in the front door, then pulled his gun on the clerk. “This is a robbery,” he declared. “Put all your flamethrowers in the cart and no one gets hurt.”

The clerk responded by trying to shoot Aulhar, but all the bullets bounced off the force field.

In the initial chaos, Kkukttak snuck around behind the clerk to intercept anyone who might be coming to help.

“We just want your flamethrowers,” Aulhar repeated, shooting a hole in the floor.

“Ok, fine, I’ll give you the flamethrowers,” the clerk said, putting his hands up. Getting shot by a lion was well above their pay grade, especially not when someone has just possibly up behind him with a knife out.

Said flamethrowers were efficiently loaded onto the cart, which Aulhar wheeled outside, though the portal, and back into the RC they were ‘borrowing’.

Once Aulhar’s Expedited Acquisitions had replenished its stock of one of its most popular products, Kkukttak looked at Aulhar meaningfully. “You really get me going when you’re all intimidating like that.”

“I know. Let’s get to bed so I can show you what else I’m made of?~”

The cacophony moaning, yowling, and squeaking that followed for the next hour was both the intended outcome of the interspecies gay pirate sex, and an indicator to whoever their neighbors were at the moment that they shouldn’t come by to meet the agents they were living next to.

(( Wherein I subject one my characters to a slash-wraith, more or less - Tomash ))

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