Subject: [[As promised, here's the ficlet!]]
Author:
Posted on: 2022-09-18 15:11:34 UTC

“So, we’re here.” Sergio said as he stopped by at Corolla’s messy workbench. “You said it is bad?”

Corolla tossed the CAD she was working on in a bin and sat on the only empty corner of the workbench. “Of course it is bad! I would not have bothered the two of you otherwise!”

“I understand, but...” Nikki crossed her arms. “We’ve been retired for ages, and I’m sure there’s plenty of good Agents around right now.”

“That is true, but I’m sure you’ll agree with me that this one is a personal matter!”

Corolla opened a holographic window, and showed them the badfic report.

“A My Immortal ripoff.” Sergio didn’t sound impressed. “They’re a dime in a dozen, Corolla. And they are so uninspired, even Keiko could handle such a weak Suvian or Wraith. And she’s three.”

“I would actually be very glad if she will never have to deal with anything PPC related, though.” Nikki added.

“So would I.” Sergio agreed. “That’s why we... wait, what?”

Nikki leaned in. “What’s the matter, Sergio...? Oh. Oh.”

“Yup. This is about us, guys. Somehow, we struck a Suvian’s fancy. Like Momoka, Mina, Carlisle, and for some reason Dafydd who’s been retired since before we were hired, and the Mysterious Somebody who’s been ousted when Dafydd was a rookie, at least according to what Arumi told me.”

She summoned Sergio’s old shotgun from her dimensional pocket, and tossed it to him. “Come on, we’ve got work to do. This one committed the most heinous crime ever.”

Nikki raised an eyebrow. “And that would be?”

“Getting in the way of the two of you being together.”


Ivory Black’ness Lee couldn’t believe her eyes. As much as she liked seeing the two preps - Corolla and Nikki - get killed by... themselves? The second Sergio had just killed Disconnection. She would kill those prepz, but her limbs were blocked by weird glowing blue rings

“I thought I was done killing evil clones of myself!” the surviving Nikki shouted - the one who wasn’t wearing the Hilary Duff t-shirt - as she took her lightsaber out of Prep Nikki’s chest.

Brown-haired Sergio reloaded his shotgun, and fired a last round into black-haired Sergio. “Yeah, this is getting ridiculous. At least I’m glad our streaking Corolla clone over there has a featureless body”.

“Well, actually...” clothed Corolla said as she stood over the half-naked, gasping Corolla. “I’m really like that. Y’know, as an asexual with no reproductive capabilites whatsoever having naughty bits is a waste of programming space.”

Naked Corolla went limp. “I’m gonna nick her boots, by the way. It’s kinda hard to find good sturdy boots my size, and having spares for when we have yet another acid spill is good.”

Brown-haired Sergio walked over to Ivory. “I’m flattered that you seem to like me, but I’m kinda taken already. See the girl over there, the one you slandered all the way through? She’s the farthest thing to a ‘prep’ I’ve ever seen, I married her, and we even have a kid. And I don't take kindly to people trying to kill her off.”

“OMG no.”

“And, by the way, I’m not really a My Chemical Romance fan. I’m more of a Sabaton guy.”

“OMG NO!”

“Ivory Black’ness Lee, I am Agent Corolla of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum. You are thereby charged with trying to break up my favorite couple here. The sentence is death, no last wishes, no last words, nothing.”

Brown-haired Sergio raised an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you charge her for the rest too? Creating OOC clones of PPC Agents, copycatting a Legendary badfic, atrocious spelling, the like?”

“Trying to break up my favourite couple is already worthy the capital punishment.”

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