Subject: Not a PG, but...
Author:
Posted on: 2012-08-26 01:58:00 UTC

Eeh. I like the jokes you put in (The Marquis de Sod sending Anebrin off without asking if he'd actually been recruited, the log2 thing, the "Press Me"), but your prose is dry, after those first few jokes it dries up, and it repeats a few sentence structures over again. That's a sure way to bore your readers, and boring missions aren't good missions. By the time I got to the cabbage bit, which could have been funny and I thought it would have been when you were talking about it, it was just desert-dry, desert-beige prose. You have to describe what it feels like to be pelted, not say (and I quote)

“Ouch,” he and the elf said as they were pelted by the round, hard vegetables. They got up, dusted themselves, and went onwards.

That's just... bleck. It doesn't count. To give in to the metaphors of how I 'sense' certain kinds of writing, your Word World is covered in a layer of dust and I can't see anything but the basic shapes even with my glasses on.

In addition, I have a problem with the idea of you, personally, having Permission. How I understand it is that Permission gives those with Permission to say "I am the PPC", and... well. I don't want someone who thinks evolution is a theory -- who thinks proof of it can be waved away with "That's your view of reality, mine is different" -- I don't want someone as the face of the PPC who thinks he can deny scientific theories to be true. (Scientific theories as opposed to layman's theories, which are more properly hypotheses.) I don't like the idea of you having Permission when from what I've heard you cocoon yourself in "I reject your reality and substitute my own!". That's only funny as a Mythbusters reference, not a serious way of thinking.

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