Subject: Hum...
Author:
Posted on: 2012-08-26 01:38:00 UTC

Writing sample: I told you about the problems I have with your writing. Namely that it's wooden and that you seem to lack the ability to read (and thus write) between the lines. I miss the lightheartedness and the casual fun that is the PPC in this thing. And the worst thing is that I can't even pinpoint what is causing the dryness in your writing.

Agents: Anebrin is a random elf. Is there anything that sets Wesnoth elves apart from others? Des, on the other hand, as you describe him there, sounds annoying. Also, he's still way too nonchalant about the whole "portal to HQ" thing.

My two cents: Practice your writing. Write things just for the lulz and throw them into the IRC, or on the board, for concrit. Learn to read/write between the lines, find a way to sound more dynamic.

PS: When I said you got better, I still meant that. It's just that better doesn't equal good.

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