Subject: H'm.
Author:
Posted on: 2012-08-01 16:39:00 UTC

I don't agree with everything Artell's said on this thread, or even everything that's been said on this thread (and others) in general, so I'm only speaking for myself, here.

Neshomeh and Phobos, I believe, are correct in thinking that there's a tendency at the moment to assume the worst in comments that you disagree with. I think the only way to combat this is to communicate as clearly as we possibly can, especially on issues of sensitivity, such as this one. So I'm going to try and be as clear as I know how.

Did someone say that the rule "Don't tell other people their opinions are wrong" is a shield for bullies?

I don't think it is. Can't you tell a bully to not bully without addressing the rightness of either his/her or the victim's opinion? Can't you just say, "Nobody's going to win; let's just stop now; this subject is off the Board; please keep it there"?


See, this creates a few issues. The first issue is that sometimes, expressing an opinion is a way of bullying. I think I addressed this somewhere down the line, and I'm sure others have as well. For example, someone may have a personal opinion, held with great conviction, that Latter Day Saints are a terrible, evil cult, and their religion should be illegal. This is an opinion that is incredibly bullying to the LDS PPCers. However, you are right in that nobody can, with any effectiveness, really go "That opinion is wrong!" We all know how that one ends; when you tell someone their opinion is wrong, in almost all cases, they double down and things get ugly.

But what is a valid response is "That opinion is bigoted, by way of marginalizing a group of people based on their religion, and you shouldn't be expressing it here."

I will try to be as clear as I can here, one of the very few places where I can speak with certainty. When someone is being a bully and a bigot, when their behavior is harming others, it is not wrong to tell them. There are a series of videos that went around the web some time ago about telling people their behavior was a problem without insulting them. As in, there's a difference between "That joke you just made was racist," and "You're a racist."

And this is where the "Chance to apologize/back off" part comes in. The difference between someone being a bully and engaging in bullying optionis is what happens next. For example:

Person A: Catholics and Canadians are terrible people!
Person B: Wow, that's really a pretty offensive thing to say. [Links to Constitution] Can you please not say stuff like this here?

Person A has some options, here, and they can be broken down into three basic scenarios. One, there is no response, and the thread drops off the Board. That's not ideal, but it's not a bad way to let things go. The other two are basically as follows:

Scenario 1:
Person A: But it's just my opinion! My religion is opposed to Catholicism, and you can't tell me what to believe! And being Canadian is objectively sinful and wrong!

Person B: ...Yeah, see, we have Catholics and Canadians on this Board, and you're being really rude and cruel to them. If you don't stop, you will be asked to leave.

This is an example of What Not To Do.

Scenario 2:
Person A: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be offensive to anyone, it's just a private belief. I'll keep that rule in mind in the future.

This is the way to respond. If Person A wants to continue discussing, after they have apologized, they should be very careful. But it's not a silencing tactic, it's a means to keep people from attacking and hurting others.

Do you understand what I mean, here?

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