Let me start off by saying that I did, in fact, express my regrets about what happened in that thread, in this post. I'm not at all happy about any of it, particularly not that I inadvertently sparked it. If the issue here is that I failed to use the exact words "I'm sorry," then, well, I'm sorry.
Also, I'll put this up front: I do not support Jacer's behavior and I do not think she should have been allowed to stay. I never have. The reason I didn't make this post before now is because, when I asked whether or not defending myself would be construed as defending Jacer, I got a roundly discouraging single response. I do appreciate that Maslab bothered to say something, but I would have appreciated it even more if you (July), or Artell, or anybody else in that first round of finger-wagging in my direction had shown me the courtesy of a response to that question. As it was, I've felt for the past couple of weeks that anything I said would only further damn me. And so I was silent.
Thanks to hS, I have a little hope that I haven't been completely written off yet, so here goes.
Going forward, if I'm understanding you right, your three main accusations are these:
1. That I advocated for the letter of the rules at the expense of the spirit of the rules.
2. That I committed the logical fallacy I described in this post.
3. That I publicly corrected a victim of abuse.
To begin with the first, I think I need to explain exactly what I thought the rule meant. The portion of the rule I cited is a very small part of the first rule in the Constitution, which reads:
"Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. So be nice! Treat everyone else in the PPC with respect! Respect them personally, and respect their opinions, especially when it comes to controversial issues. You don’t have to agree with anyone, of course, and stating your own opinion is encouraged, but no telling other people that their opinion is WRONG. It’s kind of hard for an opinion to be wrong, considering that it’s how that certain individual sees a certain issue. Their opinions are just as valid as yours — and yes, your opinions are wanted, too, however new you are."
I took the portion I cited more or less literally: where an opinion is a subjective thought or belief, based on life experience, that cannot be proven or disproven; and where wrongness is the state of being factually and/or morally incorrect; that telling someone their opinion is
wrong is not allowed.
Now, I do personally believe certain beliefs/opinions are morally wrong or morally right, but those are just
my beliefs, informed by my own unique, personal, subjective life experience. However strongly right I feel about them, someone else feels just as strongly right about theirs, even if their beliefs are in direct opposition to mine. I don't want anyone going around condemning my beliefs (and thus the life experience informing them) as wrong, because that's offensive to me. I do not wish to be offensive myself, so I don't condone doing the same thing to other people. Even if I don't like them.
So, that is the spirit which I believed to be represented by the first rule of the Constitution: we are not the ultimate authority on the truth, therefore we don't get to judge whose opinions are right and whose are wrong; only whether or not we personally agree with them. "Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself," basically. I also believed that it applied to everyone equally, not just people we don't like.
I do see how this can be construed as defending Jacer, in the sense that it advocates for civil speech in her direction. However, I think the crucial difference in perspective we're having here is that I didn't speak up for her sake. I spoke up because I didn't want to see Tray, or Lielac, or anyone else, stoop to her level, where condemnation and insults are acceptable. I'm hard-pressed to understand why I should be ashamed of myself for that.
Second, the fallacy. It's quite clear to me that I didn't describe it well enough, so I'd like to set that straight.
The fallacy I referred to there was one of introducing irrelevant material into an argument, where I understood the question to be "Should Jacer be given Permission on the grounds of her past behavior?" Other people's behavior has no bearing on the question of whether Jacer's behavior merits Permission; it is irrelevant, therefore her introduction of it in her arguments was fallacious.
I did not commit that fallacy. When I addressed Tray (and also Lielac; why does no one mention that I scolded Lielac?), I was engaging with an entirely different question: "Is this person's behavior acceptable?" I have been under the impression that calling people names, telling them their opinion is bad and they should feel bad, or otherwise being disrespectful is not acceptable for anyone at any time, so I acted accordingly. I believed this had no bearing on the above fallacy, because it was a different conversation. In my posts to Tray and Lielac, I never once asserted or, so far as I can tell, even implied that Jacer should get Permission, or that her behavior is acceptable to me, because of theirs. Disliking Person A's behavior does not mean I must approve of Person B, even if Person A's behavior is directed at Person B. Disliking Person A's behavior simply means I dislike Person A's behavior.
I am sorry I didn't make myself clear enough, and that it led to such an awful misunderstanding, but I simply did not commit the fallacy you've accused me of committing. I can't apologize for something I didn't do.
Third, I did in fact publicly correct Tray, and he is in fact a victim of abuse. I think we're having another crucial difference of perspective over whether or not correcting abuse victims is wrong.
You've said here that you have a problem with this because it encourages bullies. I don't agree: I think that letting respected members of the community get away with ignoring the rules (which I thought Tray had stated his intention to do) shows others that the rules are useless, and can be negotiated if the right conditions, such as being a victim, are met. Can anyone break any rule and not be corrected for it if they've been hurt in the past? That doesn't sound fair to me. It also leaves a window open for unscrupulous people to claim that they've been victims, and that therefore they should be allowed to break the rules, too. I don't like that idea. Furthermore, if bullies don't care about the rules, then they're going to be bullies whether we enforce the rules or not. I don't believe that's grounds for not enforcing the rules.
Again, it seems my understanding of the rule in question has been vastly different from everyone else's, and I think it's that difference of understanding that led to all the trouble. I can only apologize again for being unclear, and promise to strive for better going forward.
In addition, I've mentioned repeatedly that I scolded Lielac for basically the same thing at the same time as Tray. I keep pointing it out because no one has told me I was out of line for that, and it confuses me. If it was wrong to correct Tray right there and then, why is no one telling me it was wrong to correct Lielac right there and then? The only difference I can see is that Lielac hasn't said if she's been a victim at any time, and also she didn't declare that she was leaving afterward—she actually apologized for descending to personal insults. Does this mean that no one is concerned about my post to her
because she's not (to our knowledge) a victim and hasn't said she's leaving? Does anyone think that's fair to her? I don't.
So, to sum up: I am sorry my posts weren't clear enough, and that they led to such a huge explosion of drama, and I am sorry Tray left. I am not sorry I spoke up for the Golden Rule, and for being civil even to widely disliked individuals, and for everyone following whatever rules the community agrees are appropriate (and we did agree on Rule 1 at some point). Those are important principles of mine, and I thought they were PPC principles, too. I can't apologize for believing in them or for acting on them, even if everything went badly afterwards, and I hope no one seriously expects me to do so.
~Neshomeh