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I would like this to have always been a thing, please. We can say it's the day Bast, um, first put on her Most Holy Hat? Or attached the leaf, maybe?

I don't know.

But I DO know I enjoyed every word of this, particularly Estelnar's deep, thorough investigations of the Members List. Very reliable findings, I'm sure! (Typo, btw: "Member's". Else, I want to know which member the list belongs to! ... Though, since Bast herself is on the list, I guess that answers that...)

For some reason, the line that made me laugh the most was:

The grand inscription of the Commandments has decayed too, various letters somehow degrading into random Unicode characters.

It just hits hard. {X D

Very nice work!

~Neshomeh

P.S. So, wait, if all the text is yours, did ChatGPT not actually write the AI interview response? Because there were definitely moments while reading it that I forgot it was AI, and I wondered! Because it would be pretty funny if you wrote an interview pretending to be an AI pretending to know about GreyLadyBast!

The original run by Starwind, back in 2006, so just a little too late to have reported on Bast at the time. The source of all the weirdness.

Postcards from New Caledonia - a special issue from March 2022.

All-HQ Boat Race - non-special issue from June 2022.

(It is entirely unclear how frequently the RRMM is actually published any more. We try not to ask.)

hS

The REAL Real Multiverse Monitor: Baster Weekend Special!!

We got photos, we got AIs, we got hard-hitting journalism, we got the mistaken belief that there is a PPC festival dedicated to the Great Goddess GreyLadyBast which takes place on the day more typically known as Easter; we got everything! Papers, papers, get 'em while they're hot! (There was an issue with the printer; don't ask.)

hS

It's been a bit since I've read the Wings of Fire series, so my knowledge on it's a bit rusty and I figured I was forgetting some details. Glad you brought them up - they should be all fixed by now.

And it's nice you liked this one overall! To be honest, this was planned as a sort of one-off piece back when I started it in 2021, but now that so much time has passed? I might find a way to write another DIA piece at some point. Who knows?

This is pretty much my first time writing an actual dedicated fight scene, so I'm happy to hear it turned out alright! And yeah, Ocotillo was probably the character I had the most fun narrating for in the last year or so. It was a challenge at times, but in a good way.

Awesome dragon vs troll fight scene; it was easy to follow and imagine. Seeing Headquarters-based stories are rare, so reading about DIA's Patrol was quite nice; I also found the whole betting thing to be quite funny, probably because of how much it speaks about the attitude of typical PPC agents. I'm definitely looking forward to more of your Patrol stories.

Some minor mistakes I found: - Ocotillo refers to scavengers as "humans" once. - Sandwing should be capitalized as SandWing. - Ocotillo is a SandWing, so she should have black eyes, not green. (Sunny has green eyes, but that's because she's a hybrid; all other SandWings in canon have black eyes.)

Yeah, it's a big project. It started with reconstructing the timeline of the Original Series and the Board and grew from there, because becoming a historian is apparently what you do when you've been a Boarder for AHEMty years. ^_^

By the way, time is fake. We're all 22 years old, and everything is fine. ^_~

~Neshomeh

You did a really good job of writing the fight scenes and of giving me a good sense of Ocotillo's perspective. The annoying voice in your head is understandable (and relatable). I also quite liked the general gloss of non-humanity you've got going in the narration - it really drives home how Ocotillo is a dragon who isn't remotely human-shaped (or from a remotely modern place). Then again, I particularly like stories with alien points or view.

Overall, you've done a good job with the intro and I'm looking forward to reading more about her DIA exploits.

• Tomash

After almost two years in purgatory, We Do a Little Trolling is ready for release! It's not a mission, and it's more or less my first time trying to write something like this, but I hope you like it nonetheless!

No worries about the smell, that's what clothespins are for.

Mission 2 was posted November 20, 2007, and Mission 3 was posted on April 17, 2008. Other dates look to be all correct. Wow, was it really that long ago? O_O

Oh, wow. That library looks like it goes hard. Wish we had anything remotely like that in Arizona . . .

I totally forgot how small the wizard population is, compared to muggles. My brain subconsciously wants to equalize them at a 1:1 ratio!

Oooooh. Sirius's parents are traaaaaash . . .

—doctorlit

I can see the value in keeping Christmas tied closer to the Christ, and I suppose the hypermaterlialist capitalism of today wasn't present yet in Luther's time . . . but it definitely feels like an uncomfortable mix of the spiritual and the material, to me.

—doctorlit, throwing the money-changers out of the temple

Which of course came from a LotR badfic description of a Sue's sweating "little clear pearls". Be careful of the smell though.

Ooh, while you're here:

hS and I have been working on a Grand Timeline of PPC missions, both when they were published and when they take place. Your LiveJournal isn't accessible, but since it still exits, can you still view your missions there to verify when you originally posted them?

We've been able to work out publication dates for most of them based on Board and wiki archives, but we're guessing on the introduction and first mission from context, and the second mission is a complete mystery.

My current info:

• Introduction: August 13, 2007 (date of your Permission request per 2007 Board subject archive; guessing this was your Permission piece)
• Mission 1: September 2, 2007 (guessing per 2007 Board subject archive; labeled as a mission, too close to the Permission request to be anything else, probably)
• Mission 2: ???
• Mission 3: April 24, 2008 (approximate; wiki main page update)
• Mission 4: October 14, 2008 (confirmed; Board archives)
• Interlude 1: November 25, 2008 (confirmed; Board archives)
• Mission 5: January 10, 2009 (confirmed; Board archives)

I hope the links give you some fun nostalgia. It seems to be going around lately. {= )

~Neshomeh

I ran into you on tumblr a while back (or, well, read one of your fics that pointed me at your tumblr) and mentioned my old username, so that's probably what you remember. Hadn't thought of the Board in ages before then, finally decided to check in on things!

Glad to be back!

I was tempted to make some really silly ones for April 1st, but work's been so hectic the last couple of weeks that I forgot to actually do it.

So, here we have our very normal Writing Prompts for April. This time I might actually write a response to one of them (I'm going to keep saying this until I do it, which with the way I'm going is liable to be November as part of NaNoWriMo).

1) "You want me to find what now?" 2) One of your characters plays a prank 3) Corruption

Good luck and have fun!

Nova

The Athenaeum is directly lifted from the Boston Athenaeum, so you could hypothetically go there irl :DDDD

Given that the wizarding population is actually pretty low (since 100,000 attendees at the Quidditch World Cup is already considered a massive amount), I don't know if they can really cause ecological damage on the same scale as us Muggles. To me it seems like broom parts are harvested from branches and twigs, and wand wood is very carefully tended (or else the Bowtruckles will get you). In this 'verse, a plant extinct to Muggles (Silphium) has been cultivated back into existence by mages, so I think magic may have some mitigating effect on resource utilisation?

Quicksilver and Snidget should have the vibe of a bougie sporting goods store (think LL Bean or REI, with a slight bit less mountain lodge and a slight bit more Oxford/Cambridge snobbiness) but I did just crack up at the thought of it having the vibe of a Dick's Sporting Goods!

Gaunt was not Minister for Magic, but rather Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, which is a separate office from Minister for Magic. In this universe, the Minister for Magic is like a prime minister, but the Chief Warlock is like a speaker of the parliament. Since canon doesn't really explicate any political parties, I've decided that people vote for the politician rather than the party (which is what you'd see in parliamentary systems like in the UK), and those politicians form their own alliances and factions to get stuff done. Currently, with Dumbledore as Chief Warlock, he heads a pro-Muggleborn faction in the Wizengamot, whereas Gaunt's old faction represented moreso the interests of the Most Ancient Houses. As mentioned in Year Two, a good portion of Wizengamot seats are hereditary seats for members of the Most Ancient Houses, and the rest are elected representatives for major Wizarding enclaves.

Well, you've also got to factor in the fact that Sirius' parents were looking for an excuse to have him locked away because he was too outspoken about progressive, pro-Muggleborn and pro-witch stuff, so.........

As hS mentioned, some parts of Europe do believe in Baby Jesus giving presents! But I was thinking moreso of the way kids in some Christian families are taught to pray and ask God for things they want. It does have a Santa vibe!

I’ll try to write that. Here is a possible PPC mission with Carlisle Cressington and Mina Overpower:

Carlisle Cressington and Mina Overpower were sitting in the Department of Mary Sues, waiting for their next assignment. They were both agents of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum (PPC), an organization dedicated to eliminating bad fanfiction and restoring canon.

“Hey, Carlisle, do you think we’ll get something interesting today?” Mina asked, twirling a strand of her purple hair. She was a former Sue herself, but she had been recruited by the PPC after being cured of her Sueishness. She still retained some of her unusual features, such as her hair color and her ability to manipulate electricity.

“I hope so,” Carlisle replied, adjusting his glasses. He was a former librarian who had joined the PPC after discovering the horrors of badfic. He was a calm and rational person, but he had a hidden passion for action and adventure. He also had a knack for languages and research.

The console beeped, indicating (cuts off)

-Ls

The Christkind is the Christmas gift-bringer across a swathe of Europe. Wikipedia sources the idea to Martin Luther, who definitely intended it to be the actual Baby Jesus.

hS

I'm fully in agreement on the 'execution matters more than concept' mindset, but... yeah, this could have been done better, I feel.

I'm just kinda surprised at how much this takes the whole point of the first five books - as you said, the main folks were all pretty 'normal' and whatnot, yet could still save the world - and just. Kinda throws that away for 'superpowered dragons cool.' And to be fair, they really can be, and I totally see the appeal! It just probably could have been done without warping the dragonets' personalities a bunch to show off the powers more. The warping's not as bad as it could be for sure (it's mostly Starflight that stands out to me as particularly bad, at least up to where I've read) but... yeah. Something just feels lacking.

...Also, they're using real-world swears? Shame, that - WoF has some funny canon ones to use. And yeah, poor guards. I guess when there's beat-em-up montages scattered about, someone has to be on the receiving end, yeah?

I do find it funny how some of the power dump profiles specify numbers like 'can fly at Mach 2.' Turns the powerscaling neuron in my brain on. Not too relevant, really, but figured it was worth mentioning.

Oh boy, Allegoric Alley again. I hate all the phoniness here, the clothing, the classism, the wealth. It’s all so gross, there’s nothing here I would want to—library? Library!? I want it, I need it, gimme them books, I—

Anyway, do you think the wizarding community has trouble keeping plant populations healthy? It’s those “individually-selected birch twig”s that made me think of it. Like, how many of an average birch’s twigs are satisfactory for “aerodynamic perfection”? And then there’s the wood for the broom handle, the quaffles, the wands, and the animal bits inside the wands . . . maybe it’s not all that different from how we’re burning through natural resources like mad in the real world, but the wizarding world just seems a lot more finicky about all this stuff gets made . . . I wonder how many magical plants are endangered due to demand for their effects . . . Oh, also, it’s somehow super-hard for me to imagine the inside of Quicksilver and Snidget. I don’t think it would have the same vibe as a muggle Dick’s sporting goods, somehow . . .

Hm. So, “Gaunt’s reappointment ceremony” and “ousted Gaunt from office” . . . was Gaunt actually the Minister for Magic at some point? And Sirius was both seen at the time, and his wand was used, but that’s not altogether different from the canon attack he got blamed for. eyes shift slowly over to Ron’s pocket (Was anyone actually hurt in this “attack,” or did Sirius legit get sent to Azkaban for defacing an atrium in this timeline?)

Oh also, congratulations: the line “Perhaps if you ask Mother Magic, She’ll bless you with one for Yule,” is officially the cringiest line I’ve ever had the misfortune to process with my brain, my very eyes are gagging, thank you for that. (Like, Siriusly seriously, that’s the equivalent of if Christians believed Jesus brought Christmas presents, and I’m not religious at all, but if there’s one thing Jesus and I are super down with together, it’s the whole “money gtfo” thing. Just. Mixing their main religious figure with such a commercialized process as Yule presents is just. Blegh, vomit. I hate it.)

—doctorlit wants that library, he’s going to get that library, it will be his, his Precious, only his