The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

You MUST be joking. Sparkly unicorns? That is beyond childish, particularly given the cliches involved. Were you TRYING to burn my eyes? "Ajent"? Good grief, you are an idiot. That, or a monkey pounding on a keyboard. No, I take it back - a monkey wouldn't produce such low-quality drivel. Get back to school, child, and listen to your English teacher. That is, if you haven't already been expelled.


[[Heh, don't worry, Pretzel - last year I spent three hours feeling like I ought to scrub with steel wool. We feel your pain. Here, have some Bleepuvian ale. - Sedri]]

Well, you can ask, of course, but that doesn't mean anyone will take you up on it - I might, if I'd read enough of your missions to know about them. (Generally people just shake things out of their sleeves, and many of us just write about our own agents. Is there any reason you don't want to write Ian/Lee badfic yourself?)

Either way, it doesn't break any rules to ask :)

Ur storry is teh gr8test evur! Don;t lissen to those meenies. Ur Suli is not a MAry SUe!!!11!

Keep wrighting. I can;t w8 to C whut hapens!!!

Teh Sunfolwer is evul1 He is abad Plant and must be deafeted! U write bad becuz taht is not how teh Sunflwoer wood act!

Either a mini white plume (for the symbol of his honor) or a jackass (since he's always calling people that).

I think I joined just before you left, because I faintly recall a discussion about something along those lines. Anyway, nice to see you again, even if you probably don't remember me.

Congratulations on your book :)

Ur Majesty teh Daisy!
Author: HotUkuleleLover
Ratged:G
Cat: PPC, acshun!

A/N summery: Teh Daisy (not taht snooby Markey, teh oter one, teh awesum Daysey!)is liek ttlly underappreshiated. He haven;t evin got a Deepartament!1! I fix that in tihs storry!!

tEH Daisy was walking through the Head 1/4’s and saw agents being lost. He help teh agents becuz he was a good Planrt. He help the agents to go wear tehy knead to go. Then he tink abut his own problum. He think how that SunFlower Offishul and Markey Day Sod was bad Plants! They was meen to teh agents. Thay wudn’t give him no Deportment, evin tho he was good Plant.

Teh Daysey had a cunning pan. This pan wood put that meen SunFower and Mareky in the place tey belonged in!!1. They belonged in teh worstest badfic evur! Teh Daysey had finded tis badfic (dunt werry, I won’t name tihs so no1 has to be a fr8d to C there storry named here!)

The Daysey had gr8 poewrs taht teh Sunflwoer nevur cared abut. He cud fly! and he cud not be burned! He cud make oter Fowers go unconshus! Hw wood make tings much beter gfor the agunts. He wood give them all TARDISs and let them all blow up the Sues!

He flew throw the halls anf came to Sunfolwers offuce. He used his speshul pawers on teh other Plent. The Sunfowler went unconshus. He was powerlees to stop the Daisy. The Daysey opened a portal to toe the worstest bad story evur! Then he defeated the Markey too and the Agent s was so happy that teh Daisy was made the king fo all the PPC!

Fantastic! Good to meet you. I'm Chatvert, and I run a couple of Young Wizards-inspired agents. I have not yet read the TNG: Starfleet Academy books, mostly because I didn't know they existed, but now I am intrigued.

Welcome to the PPC! Here, have a WizPod. :D

. . . to say, My God do I miss you guys. :D

Hi, y'all. *waves* I was a PPCer back in the day--back when GreyLadyBast's temple wasn't yet empty and the last of the original duo's missions were being posted. I ran agents Diocletian and Suicide, adopted the Celebrian-traumatized Elf Ithalond and his wife Mithiriel, and in general screwed around like a doofus.

I made the decision a couple of years ago to stop writing PPCs because my original stuff was being tempted with a publishing deal. That took a while to happen, but my book officially comes out on the fifteenth, and I've been celebrating by doing some evil plotting with Neshomeh.

Anyway--long mememe post story short--I hope to be back for a while (if the Flowers don't have the security dandelions chase me off with sticks). I'm going to be lurking for a while on the board, and I'm thrilled to see that the PPC badfic contest is still being done. :)

So . . . er . . . don't kill me?

EW!!!! u made a GRL sleep w/aFLOWERT? EEWEwwwwwEWEWEW

i mean its kinda cute &all w/dem being ssoooo romantic but relly leafs&petals R just EWW. cant u jus make hium jhUman???!?!

I am trying to correct my grammar because of your work.

And if not, are there any italicised sections other than the SO's dialogue in the last section?

Title: The Respectful Tale of Canon Correction
Rating: G
Genre: General
Summary: Two agents, Honesty Jones and Charity Whipple, discuss their recent experiences in the PPC Cafeteria, and launch a brilliant plan to restore the agency to its original, pure form.


Author’s Note: Given the woeful lack of understanding and respect that has been shown towards this story, I have decided to continue regardless. Hopefully this time more readers will be able to digest the message I am trying to convey.


Chapter Two: A Meeting With The Sunflower Official

Agents Jones and Whipple – it is a pleasure to see you, greeted the Sunflower Official as said agents stepped into his office, having knocked very politely just moments before. What can I do for you today?

“Sir,” Honesty began in a clear, confident tone, “it has become clear to us – that is, Agent Whipple and myself – that the PPC is no longer functioning at optimum efficiency.”

The Flower nodded its large, yellow petals. Sadly true. I must confess, Agent Jones, that the other Flowers and myself are at a loss for how to deal with this crisis. I don’t suppose either of you have any suggestions?

“Yes, we do,” said Charity happily; “we think you should stop partnering agents who might exaberate each others’ mental instabilities and-”

“Charity!” hissed Honesty. “You’re being very rude!”

Charity shrank back and hung her head. “I’m very sorry.”

No need to apologise, said the Sunflower Official, gently patting her shoulder with its fronds. You obviously know more about this problem than I do. Please, go on.

And so, for the next half hour, Honesty and Charity outlined every problem they had noticed within the PPC and explained their ideas about how to remedy them. The Sunflower Official was impressed.

I am impressed, said the Flower. It is clear to me now that only agents truly understand how this agency should function. Therefore, the two of you must take over management of the PPC.

Honesty and Charity demurred. “Oh, that’s too kind!”

“Sir, we couldn’t possibly…”

Ah, ah – none of that, Agent Jones. You two are clearly qualified. I will speak to the other Flowers, but as of this moment, I surrender my office to you.

~ End of Chapter Two ~

Even though the rest of the Multiverse is dead from fallen rocks and the PPC is gone, it's all okay as they're together.

Hapy endins R SOOOO gr8!

Chapter One: A New World Rises

Disclaimer: Anything that can be attributed to another author belongs to another author.

Captain Bigs Darkligther (AN: Totally not stolen I swear!) paced along his Magitek ship, the New Momergil, in agitation. The New Multiverse Government’s counterpart in this Multiverse, the New Multiverse Patriots, had managed to combine the resources of several worlds in an act of defiance against the EPC, attempting to rally opposition to it. In response, the NMG had sent his ship and a great fleet accompanied with several superweapons, most of them with the ability to depopulate galaxies several times over or worse. He had substantial ground forces with him as well, billions upon billions of Zerg and Tyraninds enclosed in a pocket dimension.

His mission was to help the EPC subdue the rebels, then betray them once the Withering had started, taking the worlds for the NMG and extracting as much money, pleasure, and energy from them. He had other ideas, however. There were many ‘closet idealists’ in the NMG forces, people who believed that the purpose of the organization should be to unite the resources, technology, skills, and energies of the various worlds of the Multiverse in an attempt to increase the sum of happiness for all sentient beings. He was one of them.

“Have the failsafes been disabled, Alvin?”

“Yes, Captain. How goes the secret transmissions?”

“They’re going well. Diplomatic officers Thor and Anja have managed to get them to agree to a joint attack on the EPC Fleet we’re supposed to reinforce just as soon as we get to their location. Which should be about-“

They emerged into realspace, where the EPC Fleet was hovering above a beautiful green world. The explosions began almost immediately. The New Momergil began shooting machine incapacitation beams at the best ships, in order to secure as much war material for their future rebellion.
After the quick victory, he met with his counterparts from the NMP, Admirals Lorena and Sylvester.

“That went too well”, said Lorena, brushing aside her brown hair to get it out of the way. “Is it that Withering thing?”

“I think so”, said Sylvester, a thoughtful look in his eyes. “The Boarding Parties we sent to the ships found only mounds of dust inside, explaining the lack of opposition and corroborating what Captain Bigs said about the retconned history.”

“I still don’t like it. Maybe our good defector has something to say?”

“Merely this: I share your suspicions about this battle. My former superiors shouldn’t be this easy to dupe. They’re genre savvy enough to place a trap when we least expect it and-“

Suddenly, a light shone out from the planet’s surface. A brown beam of light that brought a feeling of disgust to all that looked upon it, bringing memories of the most disgusting things they ever saw into the forefront.

A light that in the retconned history imposed upon the Mirror Multiverse, represented the first of the Suetelluvians: Celebrian.

“AND SHE WILL LAST FOR MILLENIA!”

“LAA-ST FOR MILLE-NIA!”

Ground cameras focused on the planet would have recorded a gigantic tomb opening up in the northern hemisphere, where a shape that looked like the infamous Character Replacement can be seen in the cloud of mist-at least they thought it was mist- that emanated from the doors. Giant black sticks with legs began swarming out of the structure, transforming the region into a disgusting hellscape that would have done Slaneesh proud.

The oceans and rivers turned into bodily fluids unmentionable in polite conversation, the forests assumed shapes that the mind instantly blocked out, the animals received unrealistically large body parts while the sentients were turned into orcs to join the Suetelluvian’s existing retinue. Worst of all, however, was that the largest of all the black sticks were able to fly up into the air, with every indication that they intended to reach the ships orbiting above them.

Captain Bigs hesitated for a moment, then said: “Fire!”

I promised hS I'd keep track of everything so he can update FfL more easily later. I'm sending him everything in word documents organised by badfic penname and story title, and since I don't recall either the fic or what handle you went by last time, mind giving them to me?

I'll put in the second chapter of EPC: Gehenna, then.

I'd bring my potted cacti but I think it'd be a bit awkward. :P

Even just "PPC Gathering" would probably work. Standard piece of notebook paper, sharpie, wave it around at anyone looking likely...?

Gatherings have happened before, there's prob'ly a nice simple way. Maybe those who have been to them before have good ideas?

"On the ground were the faint marks of Jay's and the SO's feet (A/N: Or should that be roots?), leading off into the forest."

Honestly, of COURSE it should be "roots". The Sunflower Official doesn't have feet. What do you think - that just because the Flowers wear suits and work in offices they suddenly become mammalian? Actually, forget that - it's too ridiculous a concept to apply logic to in the first place.