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EPC: Ghehenna


Summary:,/br> You’ve all heard how the PPC ended. Now is the EPC’s turn.


Disclaimer: Everything that belongs to another author isn’t mine.


Author’s Note: This is a sequel to my fic PPC: Time of Judgement.


Hacked Author’s Note: Beware! This abomination contains a lot of Ass Pulls, OOCness, Dethroning Moments of Suck and overt Canon Defilement of a variety never before seen. You have been warned.


Prologue: The Emperor’s final hour.

The EPC HQ was in a state of revelry. The SE was going forth to war himself for the first time in so many centuries, prodded by his new allies, the New Multiverse Government. The greatest smiths from the reaches of his suefied Multiverse had been called to his side to produce arms and armour for what could be his greatest battle. So far, they have created a green mask made of sueified steel, four great wings made from the same material, and mithril armour studded with emeralds. He held four Masamunes in his four hands, for he had decided long ago that more limbs meant an extra edge in a fight.

Thousands upon thousands of Sues and Stus danced in revelry, wearing scanty but colourful costumes. The NMG plenipotentiary wearing dour corporate clothes seemed like an eyesore to them, but they knew that even with his plain drabness, he was still high in the favour of their lord. After what seemed several hours, a portal opened, and the final components of the Sunflower Emperor’s regalia were revealed: leggings made from Balrog Leather that were set with rubies and orange topaz to complement the flames.

Perfect, the Sunflower Emperor said. Thanks to the arms and armour you made me, I now have enough power to squash the last remnants of my opposition in that bothersome parallel universe. You will be well rewarded, along with the emissary from the NMG that roused me to this action. The great plant stood up, and walked over to the unfazed plenipotentiary, who was fiddling with a suitcase that he held. He then brought out one of his Masamunes from its sheath, and touched the diplomat’s shoulder lightly.

I dub you...second-in-command in the Mysterious Somebody’s place! The assembled Suvians cheered in applause, while the aforementioned Mysterious Somebody fumed quietly in a corner. The NMG operative just bowed, while another portal, this time to the crystal Star Destroyer and Nebulon-B frigates which he would use for the attack, opened. The SE and about half of the assorted Sues and Stus on the floor then went towards it in perfect military order. Once they were gone, the mood quickly darkened.

“Tsk tsk tsk...” said the Mysterious Somebody. “You’ve really overstretched your hand this time, plenipotentiary. An increase of recklessness in the SE was something I can tolerate, a decrease of intelligence even more so, but having he replace me with you even though you have no support in this Multiverse other than what he’s given? Just before it was cut off from you? What are you planning?”

“Death. You will die here today, along with the organization that you craved control of. We have imposed our own version of your origins upon this Multiverse, and we have adorned it with traps that your hubris-tainted brain cannot perceive. From my suitcase...I unleash the Withering!” Said suitcase then opened, unleashing a storm of gray moths upon the throng. The Mysterious Somebody’s extremities began to turn grey, falling apart into fine dust.

A few moments later, the same thing happened to the other Sues and Stus. The NMG operative just smiled as the Mysterious Somebody, unable to use his Force Powers, died. Everyone else in the room except him did so as well. The malady spread through the EPC HQ, and its panicking inhabitants fled to the wider Multiverse, infecting every Suvian they came across. With every death from the Withering, energy reverberated. And the energy awoke beings that, in the EPC’s retconned history, were buried in hidden tombs to increase the Sunflower Emperor’s power.

The Suetelluvians’ time has come.

Category: PPC - Fiction Rated: PG-13 - English - Adventure

Summary: Suli Marri Bella Featherson teh third is off on a epik adventurn 2 fynd teh lejnedari Pool in HQ. Will she evar find et? whu noes??!

Ajent Suli Marri Bella Feartherson teh third wnderd thru HQ, her sprakly unicorn myni Puffiekinz followng after her.

"what r we lookin 4, Suli" Puffiekinz askd as she wakled along.

"teh pool" Suli said fliping her perfect shiny blonde hair behind her shuolder. "we r gona 2 b teh first ajents to evar fynd it!!1!"

"relly? culz!!!!1' puffiekinz said her tail swishing perfectly. she and Suli were teh bestsest uv firendz, and she wuz glad tat she had been reskyued frum tat 1 bad storee. (AN: It wuz really bad guyz! U shuld not even luk 4 it!)

Anywayz, Suli and puffiekinz walked for HOURZ until tehy found a really dark hallway.

"i dont wanna go down there" puffiekinz sayd, she wuz skard.

"we hafta go doun there!!11 if we dont peeple will say "look @ them. tehy r skardy-kats and not ajents!" do u wnt taht"

"no"

"ten we go 4 it! Cum on11!!"

And so tehy went off on teh bezt adventrue EVARS!!!11!

PLZ REED AND REVEUW!!!1!

((Oh gods, the pain of writing this. I never wrote like this even during my fanbrat days. *headdesk* --Pretzel))

Summary: Everyone knows the Marqis de Sod is mean and stuff to everyone but what happened to make him that way?

Category: PPC - Fiction

Rated: PG-13 - English - Romance

AN: So I know I got really upset after last year when my last story got FLAMED by a bunch of mean people trying to say I could'nt write and I thought I might give up on PPC storys if ppl were just goign to be nasty about them. But I read some of the old storys like the Origginal SEries and changed my mind so I decided to come back nd try again. Hopefully all the stupid flamers will have gone away this time and if they haven;t and they're reading this now GO AWAY FLAMERS! And if you flame me I'll just use your flames for toastimg marshmallows!

Chapter 1

Back in the early days of the PPc when everything was new and shiny and the AGents didnt have to work so much the Flowers used to work with them more closely than they do now with all the FLowers upstairs in ofices. anyway this story is from those faroff times when they worked side by side with the Agents and were close to them and some of them even grew close enough to their partners to.... love them. Because Flowers mihgt not have hearts in the same way that humans do but they still can feel and have feelings like them.

This is a tale of one flower who fell in love back then and how it changed him for ever...

FlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRs

Agent Elli Lloysin rolled over in bed and smiled at her lover who lay beside her with his petals closed. (AN: Because flowers always close thir petals at night and my science teacher told me so it has to be true.) "Wake up Marqis love" she said. "We have to get back to work soon".

His petals opened and he turned to her and wrapped his leaves around her to hold her close. "I know but lets have just a few more minutes together like this first". "I don;t want to get up yet and leave you".

"That's all right dear". "it's not like theres' lots to do anyway". Elli snuggled down against him happily.

They had been parntered for a while now and although the Marqis was grumpy at firts because he was used to working with other FLowers he had grown to care about Elli and her gentle ways because she was always so understandign when he gor grumpy at her and never got grumpy back at him. But this made him even more grumpy sometimes because he didn't think he could tell her how he felt in case she laughed at him because Flowers and agents had never cared about each other that way before. (AN: This is befor Jaycacia was born so that's why I said that because we all know they can really and it jsut takes a specail person.)

One day the Marqis got so upset because of being grumpy that he YELLED at Elli and made her cry. He felt sorry straight away and said he was sorry for it. When she stoped crying she asked him why he was always so grumpy when she tryed so hard to be nice to him. He hung his bloom sadly and said "I don't think i can say because its a silly thing to think about". And she sighd and said "It can't be silly if it makes you so upset and I wish you'd tell me because then we can get it sorted". "i promise I'll never lauhg at you for it whatever it is because I care about you andI wouldn't be so mean".

When she said that he couldn't help but feel happy and he took a deep breath (AN: I know flowers can't really breathe but let's just say he did) and said "I think i'm in love with you". "I've cared about you for a long time now but i was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way so I tried to hide it but I can't any more".

Elli starred at him for a few moments and then her pale blue eyes filled with shining tears which she wiped away as they began to run down her cheeks. "Oh Marqis" she said. "I wsh you'd told me sooner even if you were afraid because you should know by now I'dn ever laugh at you for something like that". "We can't help our feelings".

"I'm sorry" the Flower said sadly. "You don't think it;s silly"?

"of course not". "I care about you too you know and I"..

"You what"? He reached out wth one leaf and wiped away her tears because he felt so sad at seeing her cry.

"I.... think i love you too".

He gasped. "Really"?! She smiled up at him and reached out to him. "Yes really". "I'm glad you told me because now we can be together forever and I;m sure none of the others will mind becaus ethey'll be so glad to see you happy again".

"yes of course" he whispered as he held her close. "I love you Elli".

"I love you too Marqis dear" she murmred as she leaned against him. And she was right and everyone else was soo happy for them that they always tryed to make sure Elli and the Marqis were close to each other.

FlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRs

Elli finally sat up and got out of bed slowly. "Come on love" she said kindly. "We shouldn't lie in bed when there are missions to do".

"Oh very well" he sighed and got up and dressed with her. Just as they finished getting dressed there was a BIP! from their console and they went to look.

It was a message from the SUnfloewr Official!

[Hello Marquis and Agent Lloysin. Please come upto my offcie at once as I have something very important to say to you.]

They looked at each other and then hurried out of the door. "I guess we're not goign on misisions today" Elli said happily as they went to the office.

"No I guess not" the Marqis replied as he knokced at the door and they waited together to find out what the SO wanted...


Hehe I bet you all can;t wait to find out what happened! Well hopefully I'll be able to write the next chappie soon and I hope I get nice reviews because they make me want to write MORE! (Hint hint)!

PLEASE R&r!

Don't feed it Sue Meat! It has Diabetes.

Disclaimer: Everything that can be attributed to another author belongs to another author.

It had been several days since the death of everyone in the Multiverse, and Makes-Things and Lyta were still in a state of disbelief and depression. They had taken to ‘doing it’ with one another,knowing that as the last biologically compatible pair of sentients in the Multiverse, it was now their duty to repopulate it.

One day, as Makes-Things was tired out from Lyta's "ministrations", she said:

"So. what was the 'thing' that killed my prospective partner?"

"Agent Tara-Something was killed... was killed..."

"By what? Makes-Things, please tell me."

"It was the DIO. They suspected that the Leauge of Mary Sue Factories may attempt one last infilitration of HQ in order to ensure their survival in the face of the NMG threat."

"And we were the prime suspects?"

"Yes. It was the names that alerted us. Tara's, because of it's similarity to the name of My Immortal's author, and your's, because of it's attempt to mark you as a relative of Linda Holling, one of OFUM's first students."

"But now... I don't care anymore. The Multiverse is dead, killed by... someone or something we have not anticipated. I would rather... have it ressurected half-sue than have it not ressurected at all."

"You know what?" said Lyta. "I think the same way."

She openly revealed the beautiful rainbow colored orbs that served her as eyes, and drew Makes-Things into her once again.

Truly, she was the luckiest Mary Sue on this reborn Multiverse.

I actually have the second chapter of a story that the reviews on FfL were updated for, but the chapter itself was never posted. If someone would be kind enough to add it when the site's updated next, the chapter is here.


Chapter two

Hehehe I left you all on a cliffie last time!

Thanks for the nice reviews XxLuminescent-TearsxX and MystikalLuvrrRr because at least its nice to know that some people lke my work unlike some people like that honest critic person who doesn’t know what theyre talking about.

A/n; I decided that even though Kelvins from lOTr hed know about Star Wars because of working in the PpC so that’s why he knows about Sith and Jedi just in case anybody wonders why.

Rilwen lunged at Kelvin to kill him because she thought it was all his fault that Cavan was being gay and she didn;t care that he was Kelvins true Love. But Cavan was a Sith like Rilwen and he jumped in front of Kelvin to save him and drew his own lightsaber and he began fighting with Rilwen to make her stop trying to kill them and eventually he beat her and her lightsaber stopped working and Cavan was gong to kill her but he didn;t because Kelvin was there and Kelvins goodness made Cavan feel ashamed of being evil because that’s what Sith are so he put his lightsaber down and told Rilwen “Go away”. “I will let you live but you must never try to harm Kelvin again”. “He is a good person and I love him and you must accept that because you are homosexual yourself”.

And Rilwen didnt answer but she knew he was right and she ran away crying to find her lover and left them alone. Kelvin sighed in relief and turned to Cavan and gave him a pasionate embrace and whispered “Thank you for saving me”.

Cavan looked up at him sadly and replied “Your goodness is what made me do it because Im not a good person myself”. “Im a Sith and we are evil but youre so good that I cant be with you because youre too good to love somebody evil”.

Kelvin was heartbroken bcause he knew Cavan was his one True Love and he didnt want to lose him but he knew Cavan was right so he thought for a while and then he said “I dont want to lose you Cavan but if youre evil then we cant be together but thre is a way for us to be together”. “You can turn to the Light Side of the Force and be a Jedi like Luke Skywalker because he was able to love even though he was a Jedi”.

And Cavan smiled and said “Yes Ill do that for you and then we can always be together” and he stopped being Sith and came to the Light Side and was a Jedi and then Kelvin was happy because he could finally be together with his True love and they made love together and they were both happy.

And all the girls who wanted to be with kelvin were sad at first because they knew he could never get with them now but they were happy because he was happy and Kelvin and Cavan were so hot together. And in the end they went up to the Flowers and got transferred so that Kelvin and Cavan were partners and could be together and because they were good they made sure that Rilwen and Lyra were together as well so that they could love each other even though theyd been so mean to them.

The End‼!11!1‼!

Please R/r!

It's something of an Eagle situation, I guess. We'd have nothing to do if we did, therefore we don't.

Whats going to happen to Jaycacia and Jay and the SO?! They cant get HURT! Pleeeeeeaaaaase post teh next chaptr soon I cant wait to see what hapenns! And whats the Weaver? It had better not hurt them or Ill send ppl to GET it!

If we could, life wouldn't be the same. Most PPC missions come from FF.net fics...

Damnit, why do I never have any time on my hands? When does this finish, anyway?
~Silikat the rubbish-at-dates-and-maths-so-there

A/N: Ima back! SOrry it took so long! NEway, heres the next chapter of Jaycacacia''s latest advemture - after the reviewr replys!

Ellintyra Lloysinthayr: OMG i now! Ihave tryd and tryd to get the fanficland to do somthing, but tehy WONT. umm but tahnks for teh comments and i hop you liike this chapterr!

Burning Watier: hehehe, not in tihs chappie, but mabee teh neckst!

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Chapter Three - Dark

Jaycacia sat up in the darkness without knowing what had awoken her. She felt like she had heard something, but there was no sound in the glade. It's probably nothing, she thought, and rolled over to put her arm around the SO.

He wasn't there.

Neither was Jay.

Jaycacia wasn't worried, of course. She was Jaycacia Thornbyrd, and they were Jay Thorntree and the Sunflower Official. With the power of love, they could overcome any danger. Still, it was best to be sure. She got up and looked around.

The darkness was deep in this place, lit only by a thin crescent moon. Jaycacia could just make out the tree on which – she smiled at the memory – Jay had carved a picture of her a few hours earlier. She wandered over and brushed her fingers over the wood.

There was something sticky on the tree. Jaycacia gasped softly and snapped her fingers, using the secret powers given to her at birth by a wandering Daffodil (A/N: Remember that? They were in the first story!) to flood the grove with light.

There was blood on the tree. Someone had been writing on it. In blood. Jaycacia stared in horror. There was blood on the picture. In thin, spidery letters, it read, All things will end when the Weaver rises. Jaycacia fainted.

She awoke a moment later, spurred on by her fear for her loved ones. Jaycacia wasn't used to being afraid – she was strong enough to defeat most dangers – but she overcame it and gathered her thoughts. On the ground were the faint marks of Jay's and the SO's feet (A/N: Or should that be roots?), leading off into the forest. There was something else around the footprints... a ring of disturbed earth. Whatever had made the marks must have left the message. That meant it had taken Jaycacia's lovers captive, and that could not be borne. The young Assassin ran into the forest after them, trusting her sense of the SO's location to guide her.

When at last she felt her husband drawing near, Jaycacia stopped, leaning against a tree. Whatever had intruded on their holiday was just around the next corner – she could hear something now, a low humming noise. Carefully she crept to the cliff that formed one side of the road, edged along it, and peered round...

~

The single sheet of closely-printed paper floated down through the air and landed on Jay Thorntree's face. She woke with a start, grabbed it, and peered at the first lines. "Oh... bother," she mumbled. "Where are you, Acy?"

"If you didn't have such ridiculously tiny windows, you wouldn't need to ask," Acacia's voice said from across the room. "You know what your problem is? You don't consider your friends when you make these decisions."

"Says the woman who moved to Ancient Rome," Jay pointed out. She shuffled her feet out of bed and walked to the window.

"Aquae Sulis now," Acacia corrected. "My jewellery is a big hit."

"The Suethors would be very glad to hear it, except not." Jay read a few more lines of the sheet of paper Acacia had thrown at her. "Was this really necessary?"

"I just thought you'd like to see it," Acacia said, sounding as innocent as she could. "Would you mind opening your door and letting me in? It's cold out here."

"... I'll think about it," Jay replied. "Let me read this first..."

It's normal, really! Don't believe all those people who say it bit someone last week!

I should have realized that. >.> Excuse my oversight.

...we have no control over the Pit.

Why on earth don't we use it on the Pit, then? I mean, if we only took care of the HP and LotR sections (and maybe some of the worse anime continua), we'd be ten times better off.

I'd really like to, but only on the condition that you don't give me a time that I have to do it by. There's a lot for me to deal with at the moment and I'm not sure when I'll have had enough time to write a few missions. This can't be my first or even second because my agents have to get used to each other and I have to get used to writing it.
If you don't mind waiting 2-3 months, then that's great.

Hello there and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

It is a little-known fact that even stories with perfect spelling, grammar, and punctuation can be badfic. For example: The Respectful Tale of Canon Correction by Honest Critic.

So go for it! Get it out of your system!

~Neshomeh, taking brandywine_baby89 out of storage once again. Muahaha...

The opportunity to rape the PPC style of things intentionally sounds really, really tempting for me because I can do it with minimal effort. Just imagine what I could do if I tried.

Too bad I can't write poorly, either. The only thing I can consider putting in this is too well written to be badfic in my opinion, yet it's so against the PPC's spirit that it could be used...

Curse me and my tendency to take everything seriously.

Summary: Dustin O'Grady and Verra Rose. OMGTheirloveissodraconic! 5 and Alec bashing, character death. Soon after LoR.
Category: PPC - Fiction Rated: PG-13 - English - Romance

Chapter 1: Just Gotta Get Right Out of Here!

Alec threw a plate at Verra. "YOU MISSED A ...ING GREASE SPOT!" he exclaimed as the plate crashed at her feet. Dreading the beatings that were to come, she fled the Response Center.

D&V D&V D&V D&V D&V

Tawaki was away visiting Tadkeeta and the twins in Medical. Five of Six and Dustin were quarreling over Five's behavior on their last mission.
"Five of Six," said Dustin. "Don't think I didn't see you drooling over Harry Sullivan AND the Fourth Doctor AND some of those sciantists."
"You're seeing things," said Five of Six.
"Young master is correct," said K-9.
"You can just bugger off, you sagging old rustbucket. No, I don't mean literally bugger. I think he's rewired you to reinforce his paranoia. Maybe he should check in to FicPsych. Or maybe I should assimilate him."
Dustin gulped.
"Ill-advised," said K-9 "Young master? Recommend your departure for a few hours."
Dustin did just that.

D&V D&V D&V D&V D&V D&V

Verra was in the Lounge when she saw a young man with hair like rubies, eyes like sappires, and wings like carnelian. She was quickly in love.