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How do I get there? I saw a link somewhere, but never bookmarked it.

be careful though, you don't want me getting drunk and singing "A Wizards Staff has a Knob on the End".

I've been reading through the Original Series like a good little PoDE (Person of Developing Experience), and I come to realize that I had been making badfic my entire life.

Well, its not strictly badfic, because that's breaking of the cannon, but I have always looked at books and movies and figured out different ways to bring it to the same conclusion with different variables i.e. crossovers or the inclusion of new characters.

Quite a little shock, as I had always regarded it as harmless, and it makes me feel sorry for those authors who are unenlightened. I thank my lucky stars that my good friend Ralac instilled a strong respect for CANNON (as he referred to it) a couple years ago.

We have always been roleplayers, and his ability to conduct a fun RP that maintains the cannon is amazing.

AS a side note, I'll be informing him of the PPC.

So, a little something about myself and now a question.

Is their any trans-universe science that takes into account the persistence of a Sue? If there is, then I have not found it on the wiki.

I guess here is an example.

In order for an Agent to assassinate a Sue this equation must be true.

Eo*Io
Where Eo= the original authors effort, which can be found by this:
Length of Story multiplied by the number of new or original characters multiplied by the deviation from a standard badfic (a number that can not be less then 1 or greater then 1.9999999~inf, where 1 equals completely predictable and 2 represents a complete deviation from previous badfic{not possible because it is all based on the authors original work}).

Eo=L*N*D

And where Io= the intelligence of the original author, which can be found by this:
The amount of grammatical and spelling errata under one.

Io=1/G

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The same thing applies to the authors of the agent's exploits, except with these changes.

Ea = the length of the story multiplied by the number of new characters (relative to the badfic and the agents author, so by PPC standards would most often be 2) multiplied by the deviance of the agent's author's work from THEIR OWN PREVIOUS ENDEAVORS.

Ia = the same.

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So for an example.

Larry writes a badfic. His story is fairly lengthy(65), although he only introduces 3 new characters (thank god), but its pretty much like other badfic, so it only gets a deviance score of (1.1). He is not that bright however, and has a few errors on his behalf (lets say 17).

So, the equation goes as such.

65 (length) * 3 (characters) * 1.1 (deviation) = 214.5
That is his Eo.

Now his intelligence score is 1/17, so

214.5 * 1/17 = 12.61 (errors are devastating)

So, Thoman wants to write a rectification story.
Its not as long, only rated at 37 and he uses his standard 2 agents, but he is pretty original with this one and thus gets a 1.4 for deviance. He is smart and spellchecks, leaving only 3 erros in his project.

37 * 2 * 1.4 = 103.6, not as high as the other raw score, but this is where quality and intelligence come into play.

103.6 * 1/3 = 34.53~

Ahh, his final score is much higher then the badfic writers, and his agents are successful in their mission.

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This is not random math however. All that really matters are the theories, the numbers themselves can change to whatever is necessary and don't even have to be "numbers" per say. What this does accomplish:

*Explains why the PPC doesn't go after small or weak badfic very often, as it is not much of a numerical threat.

*Maintains quality, the way the numbers stack, the badfic writer almost always has you outnumbered and the only way you can win is by originality and use of acceptable spelling and grammer.

*Gives me something to do. I like quantifying things, and even if this is unnecessary, I enjoyed the process. ^_^

So, tell me what you think. Is this too limiting? Does there need to be revisions? Is there even a place for this theory in the PPC? This post is pretty poorly formatted, so if you understand its contents, kudos to you. I also thank you for reading this far (unless you skipped).

For the Realm of Sauron is ended forever, and his dark tower is thrown down!

In other words, Happy Gondorian New Year!

In honour of this momentous occasion, the Agents of ESAS are throwing a party in RC 8.3145, with BBQ fell beast, stewed rabbit, lembas and mushrooms, washed down of course with copious amounts of miruvor, 1420 beer and Ent-draughts.

Slightly-less canonical refreshments are also on offer, too. Agent Logan has experimented with a new cocktail called the Flaming Denethor, best served flambéd. Careful drinking it next to any precipices, though.

Elcalion, festive

*sharpens pitchfork*

We're an angry mob though, aren't we? A very angry mob. With pitchforks.

When it's something that people get hurt by, it's not funny.

...It's really bothering me that, well, it doesn't come across that you know exactly what I took umbrage at here. In fact the impression I get is that you made what you thought was a joke, and you're contrite because it seems not everyone found it funny, and you're just smiling and nodding and saying "Okay, I was wrong".

For one thing, if your teacher says paedophile jokes are okay on the internet then your teacher needs firing.

For another thing, Counsellorface says I need to let people actually know what it is I need and expect from people, rather than getting arsey when people don't know and accidentally upset me, so I will say it outright now: Paedophilia is not funny. It is not a source of joking, and it never will be. If it is ever a source of amusement here, I'm out, and not coming back, because for me, it's not comedy, it's a source of daily suffering. I'm sure paedophile jokes are funny to some people. Same as the way rape jokes are funny to some people. To the people actually affected by such things, it's not so much funny as "hey, let's laugh at my pain". So can we please have a bit of consideration before making such hilarious jokes at other people's expense?

I especially enjoyed the use of Chekov's Ketchup. *g*

And I like Kestrel. You handle her accent very well.

*sings*

Theeese are the good times
In RC two-seven-three
Ferahgo's not OOC
The Sue's been lost at sea
Liiiife is flowing, like ketchup on your sleeve!
Ketchup! (For the good times.) Ketchuuuup!

~Neshomeh

... that elsewhere she said she didn't have special needs and was trolling, but it's unclear whether she was telling the truth either time.

Mixed with coffee and chocolate. Trust me, it works quite well. Unless you use too much of something, in which case it's your own silly fault.

But I digress.

It's pretty much what it sounds like: a mix, being a collection of songs from various sources, compiled by a fan. Mixes can have themes, or they can just be random songs the compiler likes. In this case, as a PPC fanmix, each song is relevant to or suggests some aspect of PPC life, as defined in the track list. And, of course, I also like the songs, or I wouldn't have used them. {= )

~Neshomeh

What do you want, then? I can't do prizes if you guys don't tell me what you want!

I still haven't heard from Trojie, Miah, Bronwyn, Rosie, or Meip. Speak up! I'd like to do these in order of posting, so it's important.

Feel free to e-mail me at exswyzie14 (at) yahoo (dot) com, especially if you are requesting an image. The more details you can give me about what you want drawn, the better I can make it. {= )

~Neshomeh, off to actually read the mission now.

Actually, our marvelous and very shiny wiki lists a Department of Floaters, and a Freelance Subdivision of the Department of Mary Sues. I'll probably join the Floaters, even if the wiki does say they're already the largest Department.

My second Agent character, though, will probably be in one of the non-Action departments, because I doubt they have enough stories yet.

And take your time and work through various departments in missions. You can even split and mix partners up as you go if you care.

I was able to do something for March Madness after all! Oh frabjous day, and all that.

A few months ago I created a new pair of agents (Assassins this time), and I got around to writing an intro and a mission for them, but then, my internet access at home was compromised. I won't have full internet back until this summer, unless something miraculous happens.

Originally I considered having these new agents on the same website as my main ones, but I decided against it. http://rc273.webs.com features Agents Kestrel and Mordecai, and their first mission as of yet. Another mission is currently in the works, and it will be a joint mission between Deuce and this pair, since Adder ended up in Medical after their last mission.

I might eventually come out with a third pair, but if I do, I'll stop there before I get too ahead of myself.

Some of us were actually looking for it.

...but what's a fanmix?

Hmmm...a shame, since there are plenty of departments I'd like to work with at some point.

Agents are allowed to be in only one department at a time.

Note that doesn't stop you from having them transferred after awhile to a different department.

And yes, you can have agents in other departments, but try and stick to one pair at first so you don't stretch yourself (or your reader's attention spans) too thin.

1) I think--not very experienced, so I don't know for certain--that unintentional comedy is probably a common trait of many or even most badfics that would still be another department's purview. I'm not certain this needs to be its own department, although I'm not especially opposed to the idea.

2) I like this, but I don't think it needs to be its own department either. My proposal would be to have the Department of WTF offer Interpreter courses to any interested agents, and when an especially incoherent badfic is assigned to a department it is passed on to the department's qualified Interpreters, or to another department if there are none available.

And a new question, now. Is an Agent allowed to work for multiple departments? Failing that, can I submit characters to
several departments?

The main difficulties for this character would be his lack of any real battle experience--he acts like he's such a hardened veteran, but he's only ever been in one honest-to-Eris battle, although he's been in brawls on occasion--and the fact that he's familiar with neither badfic nor any of the other continuums besides his native one, and therefore in for quite a bit of surprise and horror. Combat-wise he's a competent fighter and a decent mage, but nothing terribly special on either count. Definitely not good enough to take down a powerful Sue without help or very good Sufficiently Advanced Technology and quite a bit of luck.

Thank you.

Oh don't worry about me, by this point Ive managed to prepare a collection of utility towels for every occasion.

Yah, the bacteria civilization thing checks out, I was able to fin it in my copy.

What we mean by "superpowered" is basically anything that allows the agent to get through a mission without difficulty. The difficulty--the horror of the bad writing, or the danger of taking down a powerful Sue, or the agent's own brand of incompetence, or whatever combination--is what makes missions fun to read, see, so if you were to write a mage who was always cool and collected and went around stopping time and casting instant death spells on every Sue, it would be boring. On the other hand, a low-level wizard who suffers from the appropriate arcane spell failure chance can have just as much trouble as anyone else, and so can be fun to read about. Make sense? {= )

~Neshomeh