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Surprisingly, Spock is not involved.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5111853/2/DrMcCoyFriendandGuardianofaWaywardCaptain

Although some sort of unstated magic has given Kirk a 14 year old body. He spends part of the story acting somewhat normal, and then the rest acting about 4 with the reactions of the other characters in line with a mental & physical age of 4. I sort of think the author forgot what age he/she wrote in the first place. Still the stated age was physically 14, mentally the same age as in the movie. Given the age of some of the characters in the movie, like Chekov being only 17, yet old enough to be mostly through with training, I have to conclude that 14 is old enough to be in Star Fleet, at least in some cases. If you are old enough to be training for your career then you are old enough to be treated as and act like an adult, so, to me, other than quality of writing, this fic is the same as the NCIS one I posted.

I hope it won't happen to Star Trek as well... I think Spock will be the first one featured. I don't know on which side, though.

that should have read: "Never read a legendary badfic, even if someone tells you to."

Greetings and salutations, Catkin. Here, as a housewarming/welcoming gift, have a mutant wolf. They're good with children and 'Sue hunting, and they like to chew on everything from your shoes to your 'Sues. But don't worry, they're very friendly...
Welcome to the board, never read a badfic, and have fun with the complete abandonment of your sanity, social life, and future career.
Honu_Wahine

Hi, I'm back, and I finally have a new mission. For those expecting a plant joke, I apologize--I suffered a case of editing, and the plant joke had to go. On the other hand, if anyone would like a mini-Toruk, or a mutant wolf(good for sniffing out sues, good with children, and will nibble on everything from shoes to Sues), please feel free to contact me.
The author is...something that I cannot print. The story was horrible, and a sad mark on the newest fandom. Here's a link to my mission: http://agentsams.livejournal.com/1094.html
Things have been a little weird here, and hopefully the entire canon can help out the agents a little bit more. After all, who doesn't want a sentient planet helping them actively fight?
Honu_Wahine

NCIS special agents aren't in the Navy. They are often ex-Navy or Marines though. Gibbs is a former Marine Sergeant. Gibbs does not talk much, in fact in that story I linked he said more than he would normally in 3-4 full episodes. He is intensely loyal to his team. When they were split up, and Tony was actually sent to be an agent afloat (where he was completely miserable), Gibbs fought very hard to have him returned to the team. So, him threatening to send Tony to be an agent afloat is very uncanon. He also does not have the authority to do that. He could kick Tony off his team, but not determine where he went next.

This office where they are supposed to be doing this is a huge room divided by cubicle barriers into team groups. It is never fully empty of agents, even at night. It is video monitored by guards as well. So not only would these two men have to know about this and neither say anything, but any and all agents who were present at the time, the security guards, and probably the technicians in the MTAC would all have to be keeping quiet, too. And on the topic of agents not saying anything, where are the other two team members? If they just finished at an outside location then McGee and Ziva should have been in the elevator with them.

Tony is overtly a bit of a class clown, but he purposefully uses that to distract others into underestimating him. He is the primary choice for undercover missions, and spent an entire season working a special undercover mission for the Director without his team being able to catch him at it. If he was standing facing this General he was supposed to have insulted, it would be uncanon for the insult to have come out of his mouth.

Gibbs response to some kind of screw up would be along the lines of "Fix it. Now!" or "Get your head on straight, or get out." Maybe a glare and then a walk away. Gibbs is not the fatherly teacher type portrayed in the story. The one time he started being kind of fatherly nice to everyone, Tony poked at him (verbally) until he started acting like himself. That was when they had an team member shot and killed by a sniper while she was standing right next to them. It took something like that to shake Gibbs into not acting like his normal self, but note that Tony managed to contain his reaction even in that situation.

Tony would not cry. He does not act like a naughty 8 year old. He also hates hospitals and pain meds, so unless something was broken he would not have agreed to go to the ER and definitely would not have taken the meds. He came back to work either 2 or 3 weeks early after having the pneumonic plague. He doesn't whine about serious stuff. A paper cut-yeah he plays for sympathy. Something serious-no. He's actually only shown real fear and dread once in 7 seasons, and that was when they thought they were trapped on a ship with some kind of plague. He panicked for about 2 minutes that he would catch it and had already used up his 'beat the plague' card.

That's just the 'story' surrounding the actual act. I don't even know how to begin to describe how anathema that is to those characters. Gibbs would never do something like that and Tony would never accept it.

A CAD pointed at these characters in this fic would probably explode.

There are pretty strong prohibitions on fraternization in the Navy, arguably stronger ones than in some of the other service branches. These cover not only strictly sexual conduct between enlisted and officer individuals, but any overly familiar conduct that do not respect the relevant ranks, pay grades, or specific relationships and disrupt or discredit individuals. Other relevant regulations would include a pretty decent variety of stuff, starting at reduced pay for months and moving up to a bad conduct discharge and some jail time. There are always exceptions and cases where no one reports the matter, but it's not something you'd consider a safe action.

It'd actually be pretty funny to list out the various parts of the UCMJ these individuals are breaking, although as I said, I'm not familiar enough with the canon to say if it'd be OOC enough to be a charge.

I can actually think of some nonsexual explanations, but they're honestly a little more disturbing than the sexual ones. Spanking fetishism is at least fairly passe as compared to some of the psychological causes of most types of obsessions that involve human interaction.

Given the Flower's policy of throwing Bad Het at Bad Slashers, it seems like they'd toss it at whatever department is best equipped for the matter, Bad Slash seems like the best bet. It's certainly not something you'd want the DMS handling, there'd be dead canons everywhere.

I'm even more repulsed. Not so much by the story, which was disturbed and almost certainly out of character but tolerable, but by the reviews. -shudders-

Is it just me, or would actual officers be punished for physically abusing their underlings? That can't be legal.

--anamia

Bad Het was my first thought. I haven't read the fic itself yet, but to me consensual spanking is little if not sexual. Just because they're not actively having sex doesn't mean it's not sexual. Perhaps the authors should look up the meaning of BDSM? (Again, I haven't read it yet, so I'm shooting in the dark here, but even so...)

Odd that it's just NCIS, though. You'd think it would be more popular.

--anamia

The characters may not be having sex, but I can't imagine any scenario in which someone would write this WITHOUT intending it to be fetish material.

One of the author bios of the people writing this stuff between the adult canon characters of NCIS requested Star Wars fanfic of a nonscarred Darth Vader meeting and spanking Luke in the age range of 8-14. This guy also claimed to work with small children in real life. Now that is scary.

Even though they say "nonsexual" I really can't help but inagine the author is SOME kind of pervert. I find it really, really creepy that someone would look at the characters on that show, and think, "I want to imagine them spanking each other."

It is the total abuse of the characters to do this to them that gets me. The only thing they have left in common with the canon is the name and the job title.

...If you feel like gouging out your eyes from that, you'll absolutely hate some of the stuff I can find...

*Wikipedias what NCIS is*

What the heck? Who in ANY MIND, right or wrong, would write such absolute garbage?! I don't know much about the show, having just wikipedia'd it, but if someone writes something like those stories for one of the things I like, I might agree with you that this just might become a plague of sorts.

I sure hope it doesn't...

I know NCIS is a small fandom overall, but it has had an invasion of a particularly obnoxious type of badfic. I looked on the wiki to see if this has an entry, and it doesn't. I'm not sure which department this would appeal to, as most of the stories of this type are stated as being non-sexual, and most do not involve original characters. Just the canon characters twisted nearly beyond recognition. This has absolutely no basis, not even a thin, tenuous shred of basis, in canon.

Basically, they all revolve around very thin or non-existent plots that are there only to serve the purpose of having one of the characters, usually Gibbs, spank one of the other characters, usually either Tony or Abby. I didn't realize that this seems to be a problem fairly specific to NCIS until I did a word search and "spanking" comes up 212 times for NCIS, out of 499 hits with the remaining hits spread over 70 other categories.

So is anyone interested in taking down a Suethor who focuses on non-sexual spanking of adults? The main author of these has written 77 stories, and even started 2 series of stories just to continue inflicting this junk on the fandom. There are two other main authors with 45 and 35 stories apiece, although some of their stories have been inflicted on other fandoms.

I'm afraid that with these Suethors branching out into other fandoms that this could become as popular as mpreg. It already has mpreg (21 hits) beat by a long shot at NCIS.

Here's an example by the most prolific of these authors.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4203431/1/Evasive_Manoeuvres

I really did try to closely read the whole thing, but the urge to spork out my eyes if I kept it up was too strong, and the self preservation instinct kicked in causing me to skim the last half. Anybody got extra bleeprin?

Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and those pesky spambots, too. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5111582/1/TheFlowersoftheField

This is a quick little 5k story by the same author. Also with original characters, also very well done.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4481881/1/OntheRoadtoComeWhatMay

This story has so many elements that are frequently misused and abused in fanfic and fantasy in general that it is a very nice surprise to see those elements handled well.

There are a lot of original characters, and all of the viewpoints are taken up by the original characters. It has a very fantasy feel to it, because it is set on a planet that is pre-steam, though barely. The thing that made me like it the most is that one of the originals is a whiny teenage prince who thinks he is the center of the world, because he is speshul. And he has to deal with a very in character Rodney McKay!

Seriously though, this is the best written fanfic I have ever read. I even opened an ffnet account just to give it a signed review. It is over 100k. At the time I had just finished reading I made note that I had noticed 6-7 typos of the spellcheck misses these type, such as "to" for "so", and that there were a couple of places that it had taken me up to a paragraph to figure out which viewpoint character had the viewpoint after a scene change.

This is well worth the time it takes to read.

I think that I may have the first Freedom book on my to be read shelf. I'm going to bump up its priority.

Yes the series by Erin Hunter. I am up to the Power of 3 books. I haven't read the Bluestar Super Edition though. And for some reason my library has 2 of the 3 Sasha and Tigerstar mangas, and 2 of 3 Greystripe mangas. I have no ideas on why they'd do that.

Thanks for the C4. Did you see my favorite quote?

"Pretty," Donos said. "What do we blow up first?" Star Wars X-Wing: Solo Command, Aaron Allston.

So, C4 is a good present for me.

I can't promise the most prompt or complete responses, but I can offer a spare set of eyeballs and the best I can do. If you want, my email is gattsuru AT gmail DOT com.

are you referring to the Warriors series by Erin Hunter? on the other hand, welcome! have some C4. please be careful with it. it is not just an explosive, you can use as fuel for a fire.

I can see how it would be disappointing if you came into the fandom not knowing it was over before it started, sorta. I got into it because everyone I knew at the time had been telling me how awesome Firefly was and how much it sucked that it was canceled. Also, I'd already been through a similar experience with Farscape's cancellation and subsequent miniseries, so I knew what to expect from Serenity with regards to the rushing to tie things up. At least they got a chance to do it at all, though.

Yeah, Dragon's Kin is the one about the watch-whers. I thought it was cool that they got some development. Dragonsblood, on the other hand, is about a dragon plague and is full of dubious science (does Todd know ANYTHING about genetics?) and a bizarre time-transcending plot device that reminded me of Redwall and really, really didn't seem to fit with Pern. At all. {= P

The Freedom series is good, though. It's got survival situations, necessity being the mother of invention, a cool anti-hero, redemption and other human(oid) drama, humans kicking alien butt against the odds, and, because it's McCaffrey, sex (in which size DOES matter) and booze. It's a good ride. {= )

~Neshomeh