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Anyone notice anything wrong with this sentence? "She had back length blonde hair that was pulled to the side and tied with a black ribbon over her right shoulder, her raven locks framing her pale face." Fun image, that.

That was the 5th sentence of one of them. And she is almost certainly an author self-insert. The fact that they have the same name is worrisome.

On the other hand, I did find this on her profile, which might be useful when charging 'Sues. "62)I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna."

All things considered, I don't think I'll waste my time reading past sentence 5. I'd rather not build up a tolerance to drivel. It might lower my standards, and that would be bad for sporking.

--anamia

Ugh. It's worse than I expected...

In every way imaginable! UGH! Everything about it is just wrong and horrible all at once!

...Which to me means nothing. I'm terrible like that.

Piph came across an author in the Pit called Black Alice Butterfly.
She desribes herself in a way that makes most sane (or not so sane) people think of an Emo!Sue, has an unbelievably long profile and has currently written 20 fics riddled with spelling mistakes, horrible describtion and random OOCness. These fics include, but are not limited to:

A D.Gray-Man/Harry Potter crossover, called: "the hogwarts dilemma", 5 chapters, horrible dialogue, OOCness, OCs, and a "silvered eyed gold-platinum blonde haired girl".

A Yu Yu Hakusho/Harry Potter crossover, called: "And It's off to hogwarts we go!" and claimed by Piph.

Several D.Gray-Man fanfictions with OOCness, OCs and sospelling/grammar mistakes it's painful.

Link to the author profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1860946/BlackAliceButterfly

Can someone please deal with these fics? I will put the worst up on the Unclaimed Badfice page soon.

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Animorphs and the Little Mermaid. The story should use bondage as a plot device!

Why it could work:

- Time travel is canonical in the Animorphs universe (the Time Matrix), so the fact that Ariel lives in the past could be dealt with in a reasonable way.

- Ariel is a mermaid who changes into a human. The Animorphs are teenagers who change into animals (including fish) on a regular basis. They could have some interesting, thoughtful conversations about this.

- If we use the word "bondage" in its classical sense (i.e. slavery, restriction), it would definitely work as a crossover theme. Ariel spends all of her life hampered by her fin, wanting to be part of the human world and away from her father's restrictions. Even better, the Animorphs are fighting to save earth from parasitic aliens who enslave people!

Yep, this could be a decent fic. Weird!

~Araeph

I think there are a couple recruited semi-fic blip characters that have at least married other Agents. Not sure if you'd count pon farr in the True Love category, though.

Both individuals would probably expect to see some trips to FicPsych, some anti-lustin, and odd looks from other Agents. Concern about reformed Mary Sues going bad again does not seem unreasonable, as would caution to verify True Love over Twu Wuv.

A quick google search of a few of the lines of this poem suggests that this is apparently a quote from Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

I'm not an English Teacher. I just tend to do a lot of editing and proofreading for technical manuals. I've been mostly operating from Strunk and White's Elements of Writing and Style, plus what I can remember of the more lenient AP Style Guide.

Sorry for bugging you too much over this matter.

Time Squad was one of the last shows I was following when I finally got over my television addiction. I especially liked the episode with the cheery, pink-obsessed Edgar Allen Poe. I think what made Time Squad so fun was that it DIDN'T take the plots too seriously, sort of like the way PPC missions are written.

I found them in the bargain bin of my college bookstore, read the backs, and immediately purchased them (this was just before I learned of the PPC as well). I haven't read them, though, because I want to read them in order, but I don't have the first book yet. In retrospect, I should have asked for those for Christmas...Anyway, the series sounds like pure awesome-sauce to me, and I can't wait to start reading them.

all of five fanfictions for the series (and none of them warrant sporking)

I should hope not; I wrote one of them. There are a few more TN fanfics on Jasper Fforde's own site. (Yes, a published author who hosts fanfics of his fandom)

As far as I remember the books, Jurisfiction does not deal with fanfiction. It deals with what goes on in the book world. Fanfiction takes place outside the book world. For fanfiction to have an effect on canon characters in Jasper Fforde's universe, book characters would have to be introduced to fanfiction by someone who can travel into books and tell them about it.

I've always figured that there was an annex to the Well of Lost Plots, accessible by one door on the third floor. I had a little scene in mind where Thursday finds the door one day and asks about it and is told the Bayou of Fanfiction is behind that door, and Jurisfiction doesn't go there. "They have their ... own law enforcement operation."

... is that Jasper Fforde forbids people from writing fanfiction based on his books. So unfortunately the whole thing is a non-starter. It's still a great idea, though.

It's been tangentially looked at before, actually (which is the only way it could be). Agent Quen, from the Department of Personnel, was asked to look into the possibility of cooperation. Her only comment on the matter (she hasn't reported any success - or failure) is here.

hS, encyclopaedia of trivia

If a Sue/Stu was converted...

...and an Agent fell in love with them...

...what would happen?

Not that I'm writing anything like that, it's just a question.

~Xanthia B.

... without wishing to dampen your enthusiasm (and it does sound like a fun series) we have a fairly official policy of not recruiting canon characters, no matter how well they'd fit into our little organisation.

THAT SAID, there would be nothing at all against someone inventing an Agent who was from that continuum, provided they weren't a canon character :) And that could be a lot of fun, with the agent talking about differences in procedures and so on and so forth :D

Hiya. This is slightly off-topic, perhaps, but I'd like to recommend a hilarious cartoon series that I think the PPC would appreciate. It's called Time Squad, and it was on Cartoon Network for a while, but, alas, was too good to last, ending with two seasons, and they don't really show it anymore, so you might have to pick up a DVD or look on Youtube to watch it.

Basically, the premise is this. It's the year 1,000,000 and the countries of Earth have long since ironed out their problems and merged into one big happy supernation. But, there are still problems. As time moves on, it is discovered that the past is unraveling as it ages, creating lots of very silly time paradoxes that it falls to the Time Squad to correct.

The Time Squad go in pairs, a human officer and a robot. Each pair is based aboard a satellite and alerted to things like Blackbeard becoming obsessed with saving the whales, Eli Whitney inventing the flesh-eating robot, President Taft perpetrating a Scooby-Doo-style monster hoax, and all that by their annoying, beeping console.

This series follows one pair in particular, the mismatched Buck Tudrussel and Larry 3000, who have the misfortune of not knowing anything about history. This all changes when, in a mission to the 21st Century, the pick up genius orphan Otto Osworth, who really ends up doing most of the work. And so, they're off to save the fabric of reality from collapsing.

I wonder, does any of this sound familiar to y'all?

Recently, I received a full set of the Thursday Next series. Shortly after, I learned of the PPC. It actually kind of saddens me that there are all of five fanfictions for the series (and none of them warrant sporking), because I would so dearly love to see a mission in that continuum.

You see, the two worlds would go so well together. Think peanut butter and chocolate, or bleach and aspirin. Heck, the PPC could well be a sister organization to Jurisfiction. Jurisfiction is the policing agency within books: they protect the canon from the intrigues, crimes, and disagreements that occur behind the scenes. They also repair the damage to canon produced by fanfiction (among other things). We protect those same canons from outside invaders, and keep the damage from bad fanfic contained. (Actually, when you get right down to it, the TN series is about fifty percent crossover fanfiction, just with public domain characters). It would certainly provide a huge recruitment pool- almost every Jurisfiction agent would make a perfect PPC agent.

Need either an actual Sims 2 Sim or an actual photo. Remaking a Sim in Sims 2 that was from Sims 3 is a no can do because there's not as much customization for face shape and so on, so I'd only end up with a similar colored generic Sim in all likelihood.

Photo:

Personality:
(I'm going do this the old fashioned way, each bar represents a point)

Slob ||||| Neat (5)
Mean ||||||| Nice (7)
Shy |||||| Outgoing(6)
Lazy || Active (2)
Serious ||||| Playful (5)

Turn-Ons: Good at Creativity & Good at Charisma
Turn-Off: Stink

Aspirations:
Major-Family
Minor-Knowledge

Girl Names: Esmeralda, Rosa, Gayle, Andraste (YES!)
Boy Names: Alistair, Alex, Leo, Carth

I actually named some of my Sims kids that. And I'll definitely have to try the legacy game, but I'll have to start over.

I've been keeping an eye on some of these, and I'd love to sneak into one!

Personality

Slob/Neat: 6
Mean/Nice: 6
Shy/Outgoing: 3
Lazy/Active: 4
Serious/Playful: 6


Turn Ons and Turn Offs

Turn Ons: Black Hair, Good at Charisma
Turn Offs: Stink, Full Face Make-Up


Aspiration/Sproglets

Primary Aspiration: Family
Secondary Aspiration: Popularity

BoySprogs: Gabriel, Michael, Raphael, Nikolai
GirlSprogs: Rose, Winter, Rain, Elizabeth

You sound very formal.

Anyway. I've just looked at my online punctuation reference, it calls this comma a "joining comma". "It is used to join two complete sentences into a single sentence, and it must be followed by a suitable connecting word."

Thing is, that in school I learned that there never is a joining comma before "and". Granted, this was how to punctuate in Dutch, but I also remember English doesn't use joining commas as often as Dutch does (i.e. less connecting words get a joining comma).

I've looked up some additional references, and I will try to apply the joining comma more often in the future.

I'm doing an internet Sims legacy game! A legacy game is where you play ten generations of the same family in the Sims with no cheating.

I want to use people I know from online as the sims that populate the neighborhood to marry in so that I can have a wider variety, as well as have entertaining hijinks.

Also, so you guys know, if you want to be added in I either need a photo (so I can make Sim-you myself) or for you guys to create your own simself and upload it someplace. If you don't want to have a photo shown here you can email it to me. :P

I also need their aspiration, personality, and turn ons and turn off.

Personality


For personality, there are five categories (Slob-Neat, Mean-Nice, Shy-Outgoing, Lazy-Active, and Serious-Playful) and twentyfive points I must assign. Each category can hold up to ten points, but you can also assign zero points in any category if you want. Least makes them more of the trait I mentioned first, and more points makes them more of the second trait in the pair.

CAS sims have only 25 points, sims born in game can have more or less.


Turn ons and Turn offs


You get two turn ons and one turn off; choose accordingly from the following:

Black Hair, Blond Hair, Brown Hair, Red Hair, Grey Hair, Custom Hair, Facial Hair
Swim Wear, Underwear, Formal Wear
Glasses, Jewelry, Makeup, Full face make-up
Fat, Fit
Cologne, Stink
Vampirism, Lycanthropy, Plantsimism, Zombiism, Robotic, Witchiness
Good at Cooking, Good at Cleaning, Good at Creativity, Good at Body, Good at Logic, Good at Charisma, Good at Mechanical
Unemployed, Hard Worker


Aspiration

Aspiration is what they want most/are interested in most. Fortune, Family, Knowledge, Popularity, Romance, or Pleasure are the six main aspirations.

;)

Also, give me four girl names and four boy names for your possible kids. They don't have to be normal, one person on another site who I'm adding gave these for girls: Cobra, Jessica, Suzanne, and Logan, and these for boys: Optimus, Liam, Patrick, and David.

I have Free Time, which means you can have a second 'minor' aspiration, so please choose a secondary aspiration as well.


(Also, please don't give me stuff if you aren't willing for there to be a potential possibility that I pair you with someone of the same sex, that you get impregnated by aliens, become a werewolf, witch, vampire, plant person, zombie, and/or become old.)

I guess this is what I should expect for writing a grammar nitpick early in the morning.

In my last post, "The use of a comma before a coordinating conjunction" should be "The use of a comma before a coordinating conjunction between two independent clauses", "sentences where each clause significantly different structure" should be "sentences where each clause has significantly different structure".

The Oxford comma, or Harvard comma or serial comma, is the use of the comma to separate the last two items of a list of three or more similar items. An example would be the second comma in "I need to buy eggs, milk, and bread." It's recommended but (outside of particularly pedantic high school English teachers) not required in American prose, but seldom used in British prose or journalism in any country, except where necessary for clarity.

The use of a comma before a coordinating conjunction... I'm not quite sure what that's called. It's standard practice in both British and American writing, and not using it in longer or more complex sentences can get in the way of clarity and typically gets some ugly attention. There are times where it is a matter of opinion/personal preference, like most rules of grammar, and there are exceptions. "He jogged and she sprinted." will typically be considered as correct as "He jogged, and she sprinted.", while having faster pacing. In longer sentences, sentences where there are internal lists, sentences where each clause significantly different structure, or sentences where the connection between each clause is less obvious, it's very strongly recommended in both British and American English.

I have no idea what the British rules are for dealing with a comma that is both a serial comma, and also separates a list of several independent clauses, but the only time that comes up in this particular work is a strong enough sentence that you could have comma spliced it without a problem.

The nicknames thing is interesting. I've not seen it used often before, so my apologies for jumping on it.